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[QUOTE=Jinurso;5519971]Of course. That was the only good part of the entire thing until she started "joking" that she wasn't on BC despite telling me it was ok to CIP. Was she joking? She never really made it clear so I stopped CIP.
Then she started "joking" that she was late.
The whole thing was creepy.[/QUOTE]Was the sex worth the money?
I read an article a while ago about mongering that I found helpful. The guy was saying that preparation for the hobby is key for the married guys. I am fortunate to have a flexible schedule with odd hours especially prior to Covid but if you have a 9 to 5 job and a nosy wife it is a good idea to start by finding a hobby few month prior to starting mongering and he recommended swimming cause you can't pick up your phone or answer texts while in the pool and can explain why you return home freshly showered. The wife can start snooping around but you are really going to the pool at YMCA 1 - 2 a week for 2 - 3 months, but she won't find anything and lower her guard and then you can use the window you had carved to play instead of going to the pool. As far as money is concerned the author suggested to squirrel away small amounts over time and I was using my debit card at Costco to take 60 $ at the time and also I told my employers to send me paper checks instead of direct deposit and I will take 100 - 200 $ cash and deposit the rest. I personally prefer to play less often and "splurge" once a month for 300 - 500 $ instead of paying 75 $ for a high volume trashy ones, but obviously it depends on your financial capabilities. Of course you need a text app and e. Mail dedicated only for mongering. For me the saying "Pigs get fed and hogs get slaughtered" has been working well and if you play smart and not too often you can hide your secret life for a long time and my wife is a big time Gestapo but I have been successful with these strategy tips so far.
[QUOTE=Agoraphobe;5520548]Share links to those people you knew and saw pop up on SA and you can live vicariously through us LOL.[/QUOTE]I posted one below who I saw once or twice in a music venue pre-covid and this one is on IG. She's in LA, where I travel for business meetings from time to time. No way she's going to be in budget, unfortunately.
[URL]https://www.seeking.com/member/440a9ae4-6cfe-425b-ac9a-f2ec9822d2c0[/URL]
Sorry to hear about your experience. You didn't waste money but she wasted your time which hurts even more. She told me she can meet me in Schaumburg. When I pushed for some details the responses were all pro like.
I didn't partake as I never felt comfortable enough.
[QUOTE=KisaHero;5520797][URL]https://www.seeking.com/member/5baa9bef-2399-490b-a205-6443af47aa28[/URL]
This one will tell you nothings off limits and drive to your place. Wants the money right outside your door before going in. I said sure since I'm not wasting time going anywhere. I planned on giving her an empty envelope. If she runs I'm not at a loss but if she didn't then I'd reward her honesty later. Turns out she just grabbed the envelope and hopped in the car and drove off.
Be careful. Will try to rush you.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=DWaits;5520325]This is the exact reason I have avoided SA and even my general mongering is more limited than I want. It is nearly impossible to move money around if you had not previously moved money around and do not own your own business. If you work for someone else and your spouse is used to money coming in from your employer and going out for normal expenses and entertainment, it is very hard to find ways to shift 1 K plus a month. QV at 80-100 is much easier.
The thing that sucks is that I have seen a couple random people pop up on SA that I have either seen out and about or might see on IG and there is no way a guy with average looks, dad bod would have a shot with those women. But I'm not paying 1 K in hotel fees and donation for one shot. Too hard to do for me and not economical when that money could be spread over a few months with EB junkies. .[/QUOTE]It can be done with a little planning, but its all predicated on having at least some of the financial tools completely under your control. I have a few cards just in my name that I opened for balance transfers years ago. I also have a credit union account from an old employer that we've had car loans through in the past, but it also has a checking account and debit card just in my name. All of those have been set to paperless. That gives me a couple of ways that I can make some small extra payments or deposits to cover hotels and make cash available to withdraw, and it wouldn't be easily noticed.
Obviously if you have completely merged finances and a wife or SO who's very involved then this kind of approach isn't really possible. Working from home has shut down my SA game for awhile, but I started out very nervous about this a few years ago and gradually worked it all into a routine because I loved the variety and more time behind closed doors with the SA experiences. I definitely wouldn't do it if you don't think you can control the paper trail end to end. I'm even nervous from some Covid related stories I've heard lately that have nothing to do with the finances. One buddy who does this in another state got contact traced because someone on the cleaning staff at the hotel they used for a few hours tested positive, and another got bombarded with questions about why he was booking a room for a short stay when he had a local address.
Many years ago, switched his payroll to give him two checks each month. One went home and one into his playtime account. Just prior to his divorce he had diverted enough to put his newest girlfriend into an apartment.
[QUOTE=FafaFooey;5521371]It can be done with a little planning, but its all predicated on having at least some of the financial tools completely under your control. I have a few cards just in my name that I opened for balance transfers years ago. I also have a credit union account from an old employer that we've had car loans through in the past, but it also has a checking account and debit card just in my name. All of those have been set to paperless. That gives me a couple of ways that I can make some small extra payments or deposits to cover hotels and make cash available to withdraw, and it wouldn't be easily noticed.
Obviously if you have completely merged finances and a wife or SO who's very involved then this kind of approach isn't really possible. Working from home has shut down my SA game for awhile, but I started out very nervous about this a few years ago and gradually worked it all into a routine because I loved the variety and more time behind closed doors with the SA experiences. I definitely wouldn't do it if you don't think you can control the paper trail end to end. I'm even nervous from some Covid related stories I've heard lately that have nothing to do with the finances. One buddy who does this in another state got contact traced because someone on the cleaning staff at the hotel they used for a few hours tested positive, and another got bombarded with questions about why he was booking a room for a short stay when he had a local address.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Anons550;5520961]Was the sex worth the money?[/QUOTE]Worth the money? I guess.
Worth the hassle and crazy? No.
When I want value, I just do conventional dating. But this girl had all the hassle of conventional dating and wanted $3000 a month on top of that. It's the worst of both worlds haha.
I've never been married so maybe this is normal and I didn't realize it, but is it that common to have 100% blended finances? No separate accounts or cards at all whatsoever?
I was always under the impression that married couples have a joint account for joint expenses and savings but then each had their own thing.
[QUOTE=Jinurso;5521466]I've never been married so maybe this is normal and I didn't realize it, but is it that common to have 100% blended finances? No separate accounts or cards at all whatsoever?
I was always under the impression that married couples have a joint account for joint expenses and savings but then each had their own thing.[/QUOTE]I think there's lots of different philosophies on this, so its all over the place, I'm guessing with a lot depending on the ages people get hitched and what kind of careers they have. Hobby motivations completely aside, your SSN and credit score / history are unique to you no matter who you marry and how much money they make, so my opinion is its important for everyone to have at least a little of their own credit 'identity'. I'm guessing most people who meet with some sort of career and credit history are of like minds, where they may open some joint cards but also keep ones they established before they met. Younger couples who meet when they're just starting out may not be in the same boat, though.
Cash management is trickier. If you have a decent double income, I don't think its realistic to juggle a large mortgage, car payments, expensive kid activities, etc with money going into two separate accounts, unless you're maybe living well below your means. At least in my case, a joint checking account is so busy with daily transactions, scheduled payments, etc that small to modest 'extra' transactions won't usually get noticed.
Of course all of this is out the window if you have a controlling or suspicious SO who wants to review everything, so everyone's got to take a good look at their own situation. I'm personally not in that kind of relationship, but at times where finances were a touchy subject or joint things were being reviewed (refinancing, etc), I definitely made sure anything hobby related was suspended long enough to not be visible on any recent statements.
Some bank accounts (all?) will show cashback coming with transactions. So you go to Target, buy whatever junk you buy, and withdraw 60 to start to build up for the hobby, that 60 shows up on the bank statement as cashback.
[QUOTE=Jinurso;5521466]I've never been married so maybe this is normal and I didn't realize it, but is it that common to have 100% blended finances? No separate accounts or cards at all whatsoever?[/QUOTE]That's a good way to wind up like John Malkovich in Burn After Reading.
Met her for lunch to meet, gave her a few dollars, then a week or two later met her at a hotel. Immaculate body, likes for you to shower with her and she continues to shower after every round. Nice girls, talks like an 80's valley girl, decent sex. We were very friendly then she disappeared, which from what I have read seems to be here thing.
[QUOTE=JustinFields;5520682]Has been around and half the guys in here have probably seen her.
[URL]https://www.seeking.com/member/093263cd-1339-4609-9e16-c0e23f65b1e0[/URL]
Anyone care to share a report?
Pm me if you prefer.[/QUOTE]
Met her last week for a drink. She is on SA everyday. Profile pic is not her. Private pics were her but maybe 7-10 years ago. Closer to 40 yo, 20-30 lbs heavier. Annoying.
[URL]https://www.seeking.com/member/452fbe82-1a8f-4a0c-9c11-0247ebd712e7[/URL]
[QUOTE=Jinurso;5521466]I've never been married so maybe this is normal and I didn't realize it, but is it that common to have 100% blended finances? No separate accounts or cards at all whatsoever?
I was always under the impression that married couples have a joint account for joint expenses and savings but then each had their own thing.[/QUOTE]My wife and I have both shared and separate accounts and I have 5-6 Credit cards she doesn't have access to that date back to my travel for work days so I can easily hide my expenses from her. The thing with women is they can smell happiness on you and once they do you better have your story straight and all the evidence hidden. If you guys start having more sex or less sex, you start coming home earlier or later. Anything suspicious she will start questioning. Why do you have so much cash on you? Where did you spend that cash you had in your wallet yesterday?
[QUOTE=JustinFields;5520682]Has been around and half the guys in here have probably seen her.
[URL]https://www.seeking.com/member/093263cd-1339-4609-9e16-c0e23f65b1e0[/URL]
Anyone care to share a report?
Pm me if you prefer.[/QUOTE]Several positive reports over the past 1-1. 5 years or so. Used to do BBFS / CIP but stopped. When I talked to her she was still open to BBBJ. Nothing in the back door. And yeah, she's known to ghost out of nowhere. I never met up with her because of distance, but she's hot and nice.