Sexual Addiction Reports

WK,

It's not that I dont like fucking white, latina, and black girls anymore. Heck I'd fuck them all, but what really is, is that if I had a choice. If they lined them up, I'd most probably pick the Korean girl.

All my life I was never attracted to any asian girl no matter how cute she was, until I tried one at a AMP years ago. If I'd go to the strip club and if it was the asian girl turn to dance, I'd go to bathroom or get a drink. I just didn't waste my time. Now it's almost the opposite. Maybe it's just me. A buddy mentioned to me about this asian fever stuff thats why I brought it up on the forum.

[QUOTE=Wkmotley]How juvenile can you be? There's about as much truth to that as "once you go black, you never go back."[/QUOTE]

"Why beat yourself up because you like porn, sex, mongering, strip clubs, or AMPs? Why take that guilt trip?"


No one ever accomplished anything by "beating oneself up." But one should be concerned if they have an addiction, and take action if it has negative affects on their health or other parts of their life.

How do you know if your addicted?? A good rule of thumb is that if you asking yourself that question, you probably are.

I don;t consider the study of human behavior a science. Addictions are more defined by society's mores and values than anything else.

But the most "scientific" method we use to determine addiction, there are 10 or 15 questions you need to answer, and if 5 or 6 have affirmitive answers, your considered addicted. Talk to a professional if you want the exact specifics.

You need to be concerned with an addiction because it may affect other more important parts of your life. For example, getting food and shelter are two basic needs that rate higher than the sex drive (having sex is third). If you spend too much on mongering and don't have enough to pay your mortgage or grocery bill, that's a problem. If you get your car impounded and can't get to work, lose your job, and can't earn money to pay your mortgage or for groceries, thats a problem. If your wife walks out on you and gets a big chunk of your paycheck and you can't pay your mortgage or grocery bills, that's a problem.

A friend of mine was fired from THREE jobs because of his addictive behavior when he went panning for gold on his placer mine claim. He would go on the week-ends, and would not return Monday for work. He just could not bring himself to leave, thinking the big nugget would be in the next spot he looked.

We also have other needs that are not considered as high as the sex drive..need for love, comfort, companionship, feeling good about ourselves, self-esteem, etc. The consequences of too much mongering can affect all of these...like getting arrested with name in the newspaper, no money for other things, divorce, accumulating debt, etc.

Some addicts are lucky or blessed and never have to deal with unpleasant consequences of their addiction...like the alcoholic CEO that never gets caught DUI nor ever has an accident. But addicts that do end up suffering from unpleasant consequences usually bsay "This is not how I wanted my life to be."
If your acutely aware of the consequences of addictive behavior and say "so what, this is how I chose to live my life", then so be it...but that's sort of a sociopath attitude...it means you don't play well with others.

We need pleasure, too. If all your time and resources are spent on an addictive pleasure, you'll be losing out of other pleasures...the trip to hawaii in January, the new car, new set of golf clubs, or whatever.

My addiction to coffee is a little bit of an inconvenience, but at least its affordable, legal, and acceptable.

Agreed on "this is why." The problem isn't the desire (aka "addiction" for some people), it's the RESULTS, or effects, or side-effects, or other problems it causes, or ... call it whatever. So, why? Because of the stories about people who "have to" drive the stroll over and over, despite losing their jobs or getting arrested; the stories about men who take a blow to their self-esteem every time they bone a stranger, and despite the fact that mister happy down below the belt gets his nut to bust so the little brain is satisfied, the BIG brain still isn't satisfied with the loneliness, the lack of self-affirmation, the sense of distance from humanity. Call it whatever, mongering is only a poor solution to a major problem for ALL of us here on this thread.

I have some kind of pipe dream in which, I'm a DESIRED man. I have a fair degree of power over the women whom I am interested in, precisely because I am as interesting to them as they are to me. There are ways to accomplish this pipe dream. One is to desire the women less; another is to BE desired by them more. I have "worked on" who I am, to the extent that I am starting to understand female desire more than I ever have before. It's not a problem that they want things from us that we don't necessarily want from them -- bank account, appearance of stability, capacity to bifurcate between total-biker-outlaw-James-Dean and family-man-Ward-Cleaver (wait, come to think of it, I might want Cyd-Charisse-versus-June-Cleaver, hmmm ...). What is a problem, is NOT being able to appear to them as something they want.

And then I start to wonder, is it really worth a whole lifetime, to apply myself to this massive problem, called "women"? If only they were just ... GROWN UP ... about sexuality, maybe we wouldn't HAVE TO monger, right? But nooo, they control us because we're born with a sexual need that they deliberately, cruelly manipulate.

So, why do I dislike mongering? Why do I feel like the "addiction" matters? Because it destroys my sense of self and makes me feel manipulated, makes me feel like the victim of cruel jokes and punishments.

And yet, in the long run, I'm not really a true misogynist. I don't "hate" human females (any more than I hate, for example, cats, even though I'm a dog person). I just recognize them for rather limited creatures, in this particular context. They have all sorts of other great things to offer.

Humph. Sometimes I consider taking salt-peter (the drug reduces your sex drive, I've heard; they put it in the food at boys' British public schools to prevent them from masturbating back in the Victorian era). Viagra would be the LAST pill I'd ever want to pass my mouth -- why INCREASE the disjunction between how much you want it and can have it, on the one hand; and how much you actually get, on the other?

Ah, the New Year dawns. Plus ca change, plus ca meme chose ...

I guess I just feel like I "need" to look it up and remind myself, but my accounts have just told me I'm spending more than $1000 a month on mongering. That includes such things as plane flights to Houston, associated hotel bills, etc.

Amazing where all that dough is going. Now ask my "why beat up yourself?"!

:(

What bothers me is that it is so overpriced due to our Civil Rights being violated as we are being outlawed for having basic bodily functions. I can not find one Civil Rights Group fighting to legalize prostituion specifically (Libertarian Party goes after too many wide agendas, I mean one focased solely on Prostitution, or hell if one would even specifaclly fight for Stripclub rights it would be a start). You can even neuter a dog and it still gets horny, so sexual body functions are just as uncontrollable as any other bodily function. When you gotta go you gotta go. What ever happened to Seperation of Church and State?

And that Asian thing? Yah. I am the same way when an Asian is on stage. I 'll generally excuse myself. But mostly because I only find 2 or three girls that I enjoy spending time with. Mostly the conversation. But once in a while I get lucky.

Here is a link to a coalition for promoting legalization of prostitution in the USA [url]http://www.sexwork.com/coalition/index.html[/url] ;much of the "problems" men have with "sexual addictions" seem to come from not being able to obtain sex,a needed part of human or animal existance.If it is legalized and attainable it would cut down on many mureders,rapes,assaults,substance abuses,etc,etc just let your mind give you the results that occur from loneliness and social exclusion and the desperation that sets in from being ostricised.Hopefully everyone will at least try to promote this organization to local stripclubs,email it to local escorts/professional sex workers and let's get organized and get out from under this oppression!

Thanks for the link. I'm not really impressed with that dude's HTML skillz (har!) but he does have a "proper mind-set" for trying to get society to change.

I dunno. We've been at this for about two or four thousand years, the whole "sex is bad but I want it to be good" thing. My take on it, is to try to stop worrying about my sexual desire being a bad thing; but to also try to stop addictive or self-destructive behaviors that have some kind of OTHER negative effects. Spending $14 or $15 K a year on pussy (including lap dances, airplane flights to cities where I can get lap dances, drinks, rental cars, club entries, massage parlors, out-call girls, and so on) is a "negative" effect on me. I can't spare that kind of dough and SHOULD "choose" not to, but somehow the other head takes over and I make an inappropriate choice instead.

If I were wealthy enough, would I consider this type of expenditure non-addicted, and therefore non-self-destructive? Hypotheticals just get ya messed in da head.

[QUOTE=Book Guy]I guess I just feel like I "need" to look it up and remind myself, but my accounts have just told me I'm spending more than $1000 a month on mongering. That includes such things as plane flights to Houston, associated hotel bills, etc.

Amazing where all that dough is going. Now ask my "why beat up yourself?"!

:([/QUOTE]


If you're spending $1K a month, you shouldn't be beating yourself, someone else should be beating it for you. :)

[QUOTE=AmIaCriminal2]much of the "problems" men have with "sexual addictions" seem to come from not being able to obtain sex,a needed part of human or animal existance.If it is legalized and attainable it would cut down on many mureders,rapes,assaults,substance abuses,etc,etc just let your mind give you the results that occur from loneliness and social exclusion and the desperation that sets in from being ostricised.![/QUOTE]

I would have to strongly disagree with this statement. For example, alcohol is legal, yet it has ruined millions of lives. If sex were legal, it would probably be even more of a problem for a lot of guys. The problems with obsessing about sex continuously, spending beyond your means, etc, etc, would actually increase.

In places where it is legal, they still have murders, rapes, assaults, and substance abusers. Just look at Vancouver BC. It's practically legal up there, they have brothels, barely enforce street prostitution laws, and sex is really easy to obtain. Yet, you have the highest rate of HIV, substance abuse, syphilis, and one of the worst mass murders of prostitutes anywhere. Rape is usually a crime of violence and power rather than a need for sex.

[QUOTE=Book Guy]Thanks for the link. I'm not really impressed with that dude's HTML skillz (har!) but he does have a "proper mind-set" for trying to get society to change.

I dunno. We've been at this for about two or four thousand years, the whole "sex is bad but I want it to be good" thing. My take on it, is to try to stop worrying about my sexual desire being a bad thing; but to also try to stop addictive or self-destructive behaviors that have some kind of OTHER negative effects. Spending $14 or $15 K a year on pussy (including lap dances, airplane flights to cities where I can get lap dances, drinks, rental cars, club entries, massage parlors, out-call girls, and so on) is a "negative" effect on me. I can't spare that kind of dough and SHOULD "choose" not to, but somehow the other head takes over and I make an inappropriate choice instead.

If I were wealthy enough, would I consider this type of expenditure non-addicted, and therefore non-self-destructive? Hypotheticals just get ya messed in da head.[/QUOTE]For a grand a month I could get 50 BBBJ or 40BBJCIM or a piece of ass every day for the month, you are one horny dude.

Once I spent $$$$.1 over a 24hr period crowning a trifecta. It went like this 2 escorts, 1 SW, 1-BBBJCIM, 1-BBBJ69CIM, 1-Mish nut, 1-Doggie nut, 4 nuts overall and well worth the price. The rest of the month prior to the trifecta was $$.4 for 2-BBBJCIM, 2-Doggie nut, 1-Mish nut, 5 nuts overall. For a grand monthley total of 9 nuts for $$$$$$.5=.72/nut a little high but saw 3 escorts, and 3SW that month, I must have been ruting like and old HeRam. But this is once a year thing.

Am I a sex addict, just like do escorts and SW really O?

Who gives a shit

Big Red from Balmer

Decided to start reading since some of my friends are lurking here... So, from what I read, $1K a month is a good starting place for defining sexual addiction.

Oh.... [size=-2][b]Shit![/b][/size]

How does that go at the meetings?

"Hi! My name is LoveLOS and I am a sex addict."

LoveLOS

BTW - Redman, One week in Mexico and we will have two months worth of sexual addiction credit points (assuming it works like frequent flier miles), maybe we will work it out of our systems if we party hard enough! :D

[QUOTE=Civ2000]I would have to strongly disagree with this statement. For example, alcohol is legal, yet it has ruined millions of lives. If sex were legal, it would probably be even more of a problem for a lot of guys. The problems with obsessing about sex continuously, spending beyond your means, etc, etc, would actually increase.

In places where it is legal, they still have murders, rapes, assaults, and substance abusers. Just look at Vancouver BC. It's practically legal up there, they have brothels, barely enforce street prostitution laws, and sex is really easy to obtain. Yet, you have the highest rate of HIV, substance abuse, syphilis, and one of the worst mass murders of prostitutes anywhere. Rape is usually a crime of violence and power rather than a need for sex.[/QUOTE]Along with legalization or rather decriminalization of Prositution there is a need for Education, especially to brainwashed Religious Fanatics that kill in the name of "GOD". Making people to beleive that they are sick or evil for needing sex instead of teaching them that it is a neccessary bodily function as well as emotionally needed, we are still instilling fear and mind control from the Roman Empire into childrens and adults minds today. If you are a male and not one of the lucky minority that have women throwing themselves at you sexually on a daily basis, then you are quite aware of your physical drive and need for sex, it is on every man's mind constantly all day long, part of human anatomy, you can't just scare or shame it away just like any other bodily function, it is there and must be dealt with. Much substance abuse is directly connected to trying to "get laid" because it is unattainable to many; so much of the alcohol ruining millions of lives as you put it is directly linked to people searching for sex that would have just went to a prostitute and then went upon earning a living, rather then spending hours going from bar to bar trying to get laid, having no luck, driving intoxicated to the next bar, and then driving intoxicated or causing liver failure etc. I began drinking after 11 years of sobriety in direct connection with going to stripclubs after Escorts were ran out of our local Newspapers and ads by Police Stings replaced them.

The psycho babble about rape being a crime of violence and power, you forgot to call men controlling or bring up road rage, these are more terms by brainwashers to control people, which most people cannot handle reality, but for those of us that can, it shouldn't be illegal for us to live our lives. You also stated "it's practically legal up there" which means it is still oppressed by undue influences mainly making nut cases think they are working for "GOD" attacking people that don't beleive what they beleive.

[QUOTE=AmIaCriminal2] Making people to beleive that they are sick or evil for needing sex instead of teaching them that it is a neccessary bodily function as well as emotionally needed, we are still instilling fear and mind control from the Roman Empire into childrens and adults minds today.[/QUOTE]

We are not trying to make people believe they are sick or evil for needing sex; but rather when the pursuit of sex is causing major life problems: Disease, Money Problems, Employment Problems, Loss of interest in family and other Important Things, etc., it is no longer just a necessary bodily function but a life damaging addiction.

[QUOTE=AmIaCriminal2] Much substance abuse is directly connected to trying to "get laid" because it is unattainable to many; so much of the alcohol ruining millions of lives as you put it is directly linked to people searching for sex that would have just went to a prostitute and then went upon earning a living, rather then spending hours going from bar to bar trying to get laid, having no luck, driving intoxicated to the next bar, and then driving intoxicated or causing liver failure etc. [/QUOTE]

I disagree that alcoholism is directly connected to trying to get laid. The vast majority of men don't have women throwing themselves at them, yet they aren't alcoholics or drugs addicts. That sounds like a convenient excuse. As it is now, the mere fact prostitution is illegal makes it more accessible for most of us. SW's are everywhere, you can go on CL and find providers, you can go to the CL review site and see well-reviewed providers, you can go on EROs and find someone. Finding a prostitute is easier than buying pot. If it is legalized, I for one, certainly won't be able to afford it. And if I can't get laid, I have a perfectly good hand. I think people turn to drugs and alcohol not so much because prostitution is illegal, but rather due to their inability to form real relationships and friendships with women; something that would not be helped by legalization. An hour encounter with a hooker does little to combat lonliness which is the hallmark of most addictions.

[QUOTE=AmIaCriminal2]

The psycho babble about rape being a crime of violence and power, .[/QUOTE]

In many rapes, a fairly significant proportion, the object of penetration is an object rather than the penis, and the male rarely orgasms. This doesn't sound like a guy just trying to get his nut off to me.

[QUOTE=AmIaCriminal2] which means it is still oppressed by undue influences mainly making nut cases think they are working for "GOD" attacking people that don't beleive what they beleive.[/QUOTE]

Actually not true. It is usually the liberal faction of our population that is most against legalizing sex. In extremely liberal Seattle, with our democrat mayor and city council, they have made every attempt to criminalize strip clubs and prostitution. There are frequent busts on CL. They see strip clubs and prostitution as deameaning to women they see as victims. Whereas in very conservative states like Texas or Tennessee, you can get great table dances with a nude dancer while drinking hard liquor. Try that in a blue state.

So, once again, it is not about a need for sex or a high state of libido. Those things are great. But when my wife who I absolutely loved and gave me great sex whenever I wanted it divorced me because I had to pick up SW's, I knew that I was out of control. When I filed for bankruptcy last year, despite making a hundred thousand dollars, I knew I had a problem. Every guy I know has an overactive sex drive, but not all can say it has severely fucked up their lives. I can.

Well, you certainly seem to have a blanket excuse for everything.

Too bad excuses don't change reality.

except after C (for criminal). The correct spelling is: believe.