Rants, Raves and Opinions AKA "The Octagon"

[QUOTE=Admin2;3361702]You are trying to map your experience to theirs and you are really making this more intellectual than I've ever seen it.

There might have been some stuff you did that you ended up not liking so much so you quit it.

A2.[/QUOTE]I do try and intellectualize many things because of logic. Never having been in a substance abuse situation myself, I concede that it's not a choice but something that just fucking happens because the "Want" is so much greater for whatever reason. I do know that my deceased fiance knew that she had one relapse left in her but not another recovery. She always told me that is one of the main reasons she never used again, even though at times she could "taste" the cravings of her drug of choice.

Every time I continued my behavior I became physically ill, to the point I was hospitalized. That is when I found NA and even though it wasn't for substance abuse it gave me hope and a path to want to change. The other stuff that I ended up not liking in my circumstances, well there was the final decision to get a DIVORCE that made me see the light. Once that decision was made, the sky cleared up and my life became so much easier. That decision combined with NA made me want to change my behavior.

Thanks again for your insight.

[QUOTE=Xelajo;3362053]I believe this strategy of doing nothing when smoking, do not work for all (if I understood you correctly). In my case when I was a regular smoker, I had to stop doing anything. I have to be absolutely doing nothing to enjoy my smoke. So it depends. I quit 9 years back. I am glad I did.[/QUOTE]By totally isolating the behavior it really made me take notice of it. By the end of the first week I was simply tired of smoking and I realized that most of the time I wasn't smoking because I wanted to smoke. I was smoking because the idea of smoking had entered my head. By doing nothing else when I smoked, just standing in a corner somewhere smoking I felt, it's hard to explain but almost silly doing it. This was a thing that I had done for 40 years and I really couldn't come up with a reason to continue doing it.

To be clear, I literally wasn't supposed to do anything else when I smoked. If I was on the street I had to face a building so I couldn't watch people walk by. If at home I went to this corner so I couldn't look at the view from the windows, no music, no book, no phone, no tv, no coffee, nothing at all. When I smoked, and I could smoke as often as I liked, ALL I could do while smoking was smoke. When I wasn't smoking I could do whatever I wanted but as soon as I smoked I had to stop and just smoke. If I was with people I had to stop talking to them, separate myself, face a wall and smoke.

I've been working on losing some weight and I'm thinking about doing this same thing with non-optimal food. If I do it, if I get a burger I'll get it to go, sit in my apartment, face a wall, and be alone with my burger. It's not about punishment, or aversion therapy, it's all about mindfulness, be alone with the vice so you can't hide it under something else.

It worked great for me.

[QUOTE=Admin2;3362360]By totally isolating the behavior it really made me take notice of it. By the end of the first week I was simply tired of smoking and I realized that most of the time I wasn't smoking because I wanted to smoke. I was smoking because the idea of smoking had entered my head. By doing nothing else when I smoked, just standing in a corner somewhere smoking I felt, it's hard to explain but almost silly doing it. This was a thing that I had done for 40 years and I really couldn't come up with a reason to continue doing it.

To be clear, I literally wasn't supposed to do anything else when I smoked. If I was on the street I had to face a building so I couldn't watch people walk by. If at home I went to this corner so I couldn't look at the view from the windows, no music, no book, no phone, no tv, no coffee, nothing at all. When I smoked, and I could smoke as often as I liked, ALL I could do while smoking was smoke. When I wasn't smoking I could do whatever I wanted but as soon as I smoked I had to stop and just smoke. If I was with people I had to stop talking to them, separate myself, face a wall and smoke.

I've been working on losing some weight and I'm thinking about doing this same thing with non-optimal food. If I do it, if I get a burger I'll get it to go, sit in my apartment, face a wall, and be alone with my burger. It's not about punishment, or aversion therapy, it's all about mindfulness, be alone with the vice so you can't hide it under something else.

It worked great for me.[/QUOTE]I wonder if it would work as effectively with food. Eating tends to be a socially geared activity more than smoking (at least here in the US). I mean, if you order a poor food choice while sharing dinner it would be a little strange to scoop it up and go out to the ally to eat it.

I do see the value in approaching a bad habit that way.

[QUOTE=RogerOver;3362982]I wonder if it would work as effectively with food. Eating tends to be a socially geared activity more than smoking (at least here in the US). I mean, if you order a poor food choice while sharing dinner it would be a little strange to scoop it up and go out to the ally to eat it.

I do see the value in approaching a bad habit that way.[/QUOTE]A2's comments are right on the money. Years ago I went through a program called "Smoke Enders" that broke down the habits and "triggers" associated with smoking. The main triggers for most people are caffeine, alcohol and the telephone. So the idea was to avoid those triggers so that the temptation to smoke wasn't as great. Each week they added new rules (limitations) until, as A2 mentioned, the ONLY time you were allowed to smoke was when you did nothing BUT smoke. You couldn't be on the phone, you couldn't be sitting in your favorite chair, you couldn't be talking to anyone, you couldn't be watching television, etc. , etc. And A2 is right--when you light up a cigarette to do absolutely nothing BUT smoke that cigarette, you can't help but wonder, "Why in the hell am I doing this?

When someone posts on here they want new friends and mention QV rates; when someone has other Seniors post comments for them (third party ads for a girl instead of girl doing it themselves); are they really: Low volume? And are they UTR or Pretend UTR or Not UTR?

[QUOTE=RogerOver;3362982]I wonder if it would work as effectively with food. Eating tends to be a socially geared activity more than smoking (at least here in the US). I mean, if you order a poor food choice while sharing dinner it would be a little strange to scoop it up and go out to the ally to eat it.

I do see the value in approaching a bad habit that way.[/QUOTE]It's not so much about eating as it is less than optimal food choices. So if I'm out with people and I don't want to separate myself and eat in the corner I would have to modify what I ordered. If I'm with a group and I want to stay with them then it's grilled chicken breast (or grilled anything really) and some veggies or salad. If I want to get that burger then I'd have to go sit by myself to eat it.

[QUOTE=JosiJames;3350994]No that's the normal thing to ask bc if I can't verify you then I'm not going to see you. And in the 7 years I've done this nobody has ever been a dick about giving their USA name to verify them, except you. And I recall other guys on the board also said that you were being ridiculous for not wanting to give it out either. I'm not going to argue with you but I've never once agreed to or set up a session before verifying anyone ever. And no other girls I know would do it either. You blew it way out of proportion. It kills me how some of you act towards us. We can't ever defend ourselves and nobody hears our side of things. You guys get on here and tear us apart over the most trivial things. Its ridiculous.[/QUOTE]It's perfectly acceptable for a provider to ask for your USA username as a means to verify you. Just as you can use their name in forum posts to qualify them.

From what I have heard recently, there is at least one if not two VERY strange and violent guys in the area seeing providers. Provider's have every right and need -- to be able to verify who they are going to see.

[QUOTE=RicoTrebor;3365512]It's perfectly acceptable for a provider to ask for your USA username as a means to verify you. Just as you can use their name in forum posts to qualify them.

From what I have heard recently, there is at least one if not two VERY strange and violent guys in the area seeing providers. Provider's have every right and need -- to be able to verify who they are going to see.[/QUOTE]I think the question is ridiculous.

First, I can come on here, look around to pick up some active Senior usernames, and give any one of them to the girl. She has no way of knowing if I am actually the person attached to that name.

Second, being a senior on usasg means that you've posted 25 posts, regardless of what they are about, you've been a member for over 6 months, and you've managed not to get banned by A2. Nothing more than that. I don't know why anyone would use that as a security check.

Not being critial uf USASG, just saying that Senior status means less than they are thinking it does.

[QUOTE=TeeJay69;3365916]I think the question is ridiculous.

First, I can come on here, look around to pick up some active Senior usernames, and give any one of them to the girl. She has no way of knowing if I am actually the person attached to that name.

Second, being a senior on usasg means that you've posted 25 posts, regardless of what they are about, you've been a member for over 6 months, and you've managed not to get banned by A2. Nothing more than that. I don't know why anyone would use that as a security check.

Not being critial uf USASG, just saying that Senior status means less than they are thinking it does.[/QUOTE]If I give my username for verification I'll use pm only you are right as anybody can look on here and grab a username but only that person can send a pm and if the girl wants verification she will and should use the pm as a way of verification. HL29.

I try to avoid texting my username if I'm able, as I don't like having my username linked to my burner phone any more than necessary. Sometimes I can get around it by sending the provider a pm instead, but there are still occasions where I have to text my username if I want to see the provider.

I honestly don't understand why anyone is hesitant about giving usernames when first contact with a provider. This is my way of saying. "I'm a legit member and not LE. Use my user name to check my reviews and posts. Pm or text any provider I have reviewed or check my posts out to get a feel of how I am. " I get some people level of paranoia or trying to protect themselves.

[QUOTE=HuntLadys29;3365953]If I give my username for verification I'll use pm only you are right as anybody can look on here and grab a username but only that person can send a pm and if the girl wants verification she will and should use the pm as a way of verification. HL29.[/QUOTE]Actually, in two cases I've given my user name and they've said give me a minute to check you out. Then, they both came back and said okay. No verifying PM.

[QUOTE=TeeJay69;3366220]Actually, in two cases I've given my user name and they've said give me a minute to check you out. Then, they both came back and said okay. No verifying PM.[/QUOTE]I've never had a problem giving my Username. I also include the Username from other sites if provider wants to check.

Given my username with a PM from the guide several times! Whats the big deal?

It's absolutely ridiculous unless they are using PM's, otherwise how do they or YOU know whom you are talking too? My Safety is PARAMOUNT, they want my patronage, they have to do give and take too. L Send me YOUR provider name, and review links, and I will share. Otherwise FO.