Escort Reports

[QUOTE=Atronachs;7236327]So it's currently a crap rainy day. Decided to try someone I've been eyeing for awhile but sadly she didn't respond. So I made plans with Maria again. I get to Davidson and call and she tells me to wait 10 minutes. 20 minutes later I give up and remember Lucy is supposed to be in the same area and call her. She responds and gives me the Address. These girls live in the same building and there neighbors. Dafuq? Anyway. She let's me in and I'm mad disappointed. The reviews are shotty when it comes to her but I guess it's each there own flavor. She's short and fat with short hair. As Maria is a MILF. Lucy is definitely a gilf. But not a hot one. More like if you were at a club surrounded by older women and you were drunk you would give her a shot. She does have big tits but that was about it. I immediately thought I should have waited for Maria but you live and you learn. She brings me into a big room and I hand her 90. Her BBJ upgrade is $30. She tries to keep on the bra but I told her I'm a tit man and to take it off. She starts with the BBJ and hits me with the suck and deepthroat and I'm surprised. Thought for a second this might actually be good. She continues sucking till I'm up and immediately tries to put the condom on. The BBJ lasted barely 3 minutes. I asked her to keep sucking and she told me her mouth hurt. This was strike 1. I tell her to lay down for missionary and she does. I start sucking on the tits and she tells me it's extra. Fine. So I'm pumping away and she's grunting and saying "your so big" but not in the sexy way. The your hurting me way. She already put on a lot of lube and I couldn't go any slower than what I was doing. I continue to suck on her tits ans she stops me. She says she doesn't like her tits to be sucked on that much. Stike 2. She asks me if we can do doggy because she can't take it anymore. Fine. We switch up and I will admit she has a nice soft fat ass. I lightly smack it and she says no please don't do that. Strike 3 your out. I start fucking her hard because I'm pissed now. I go over the time and I tell her to charge me for the half hour because this wasn't working for me and I wasn't leaving without a nut. So I no holds bar fuck the shit out of her and she's grunt her life away. She slides down and moves into lazy dog but I follow her and grab her hips and continue to pound away. I don't care at this point and I'm using my whole half hour. I look at my watch and it's about my time and I go hardcore till I finally bust in the bag. She continues to lay down after the pounding I gave her till I'm dressed. She slowly gets up and says it's $150 in total. I give her the money and dip. I should have waited for Maria. Never doing that again. On my way to get my cut now. Dueces.[/QUOTE]Comedy is time plus DISTANCE?

Not going to lie, that was one mad FUNNY, if bad, review!

My heart goes out to ya, bro! LOL!

[QUOTE=MrGreenJeans8;7237032]These ladies are totally worn out and do the minimum to pay their bills, to be avoided completely imo, so much younger better girls are in the Bx, my $0. 02, cheers MrGJ.[/QUOTE]Awh, Mr. GJ, think you might be painting with a BROAD brush, as they say.

Bro DID say he had a good time w / Maria before, she just bungled the scheduling this time around.

He def. Inspired me to check her out, after previously trying and being ghosted by her, for whatever reason.

I promise to leave a review, pro or con, when I do see her! ;.

Anyone got any more info on that NYPD chaplain that got BUSTED for soliciting in Pelham a few weeks ago?

I got the video LOL it's being passed around on whatsapp.

[QUOTE=LatinLicker;7242110]Awh, Mr. GJ, think you might be painting with a BROAD brush, as they say.

Bro DID say he had a good time w / Maria before, she just bungled the scheduling this time around.

He def. Inspired me to check her out, after previously trying and being ghosted by her, for whatever reason.

I promise to leave a review, pro or con, when I do see her! ;.[/QUOTE]Mr. GreenJ is not wrong about that. But you know what they say, you get what you pay for, everyone knows about the "3 grannies" LOL Valerie, Lucy, and Maria. The comments / reviews talk about them like they're 10/10 pornstars but really it's mediocre action but they are cheap so I think that's why so many people big them up. Maria is probably the best of the three, as she'll actually put in SOME effort to make sure you get yours. Lucy is lazy. Ass is more wide. Than it is fat IMO. Valerie's head is probably better than Maria's (which isn't saying much because all 3 suck you for like 30 secs before rushing to jump into doggy) but Valerie will rush the shit out of you. They've all been reviewed to death by everyone, but honestly if I was ranking them it'd probably be Maria, then Valerie, then Lucy. As far as recommendation, if you're close by and looking for something quick, meh I guess but like GreenJ said, you're better off just going to see one of your regulars instead. I knew before I saw them (mainly Maria and Lucy) that it was going to be trash. But I'm the type of person that I have to see it for myself LOL.

[QUOTE=LatinLicker;7242110]Awh, Mr. GJ, think you might be painting with a BROAD brush, as they say.

Bro DID say he had a good time w / Maria before, she just bungled the scheduling this time around.

He def. Inspired me to check her out, after previously trying and being ghosted by her, for whatever reason.

I promise to leave a review, pro or con, when I do see her! ;.[/QUOTE]If you're into fat ugly old women then go for it. Personally I see it as a waste being that you can see actual beautiful young women for the same price that will ef your brains out. You can even get lucky at the $40 cdp on Fordham sometimes they got some baddies. I seen one of the best most beautiful providers I've ever had there last year when they were still on mt hope. I'm talking Instagram model level short was beautiful and sucked me off with passion. Really can't see why waste your money on these grannies unless that's your thing. I saw Maria and Lucy each one time after all the hyped up reviews. Left extremely disappointed and vowed to never see them again. Huge waste for me like baddies and good service.

[QUOTE=MrGreenJeans8;7237032]These ladies are totally worn out and do the minimum to pay their bills, to be avoided completely imo, so much younger better girls are in the Bx, my $0. 02, cheers MrGJ.[/QUOTE]You definitely ain't wrong. Only reason I went to see Lucy is Maria played me with the appointment, it was raining and I was pissed. Shouldn't have done it and waited but these bitches are like Pokémon and I'm trying to get my Bronx gym badge lmao. I learned my lesson and only go with the young providers when in the Bronx. There's a difference BTW Manhattan and the Bronx with milfs. In Manhattan they definitely will take care of you because they want you to come back. In the BX it's more like time vs money.

[QUOTE=JonBlogDeer;7242987]If you're into fat ugly old women then go for it. Personally I see it as a waste being that you can see actual beautiful young women for the same price that will ef your brains out.[/QUOTE]

Dear Bx monger-bros this is an important topic: to bone or not to bone a granny -aka abuela - en el Bx, that is the question, and truth is that in the good old days, almost anything would do, just picking ads, texting numbers, and trying 'em out for sport, and in the case of the supposed MILF providers, we hope to find a cheerful horny good ol' gal who still loves to bone while her grandkids - aka nietos - are out at school ffs, and *occasionally* would have a nice time, but that is not often the case with these 3 imo, and after a few drab and depressing experiences, I *can not* with them anymore, bc if a provider is blah and just lying there or in a bad effing mood and making excuses ffs, just can't bother with it, no enjoyment, negative ROI, and there are sooo many better options in the Bx, younger, hotter ones, sure they're often bitchier and sometimes bait-and-switch or worse, but screening and so-called, eh, spidey senses need to be on point, part of the Bx monger toolkit fr, again just my $0.02, cheers MrGJ.

[QUOTE=MrGreenJeans8;7243809]Dear Bx monger-bros this is an important topic: to bone or not to bone a granny -aka abuela - en el Bx, that is the question, and truth is that in the good old days, almost anything would do, just picking ads, texting numbers, and trying 'em out for sport, and in the case of the supposed MILF providers, we hope to find a cheerful horny good ol' gal who still loves to bone while her grandkids - aka nietos - are out at school ffs, and *occasionally* would have a nice time, but that is not often the case with these 3 imo, and after a few drab and depressing experiences, I *can not* with them anymore, bc if a provider is blah and just lying there or in a bad effing mood and making excuses ffs, just can't bother with it, no enjoyment, negative ROI, and there are sooo many better options in the Bx, younger, hotter ones, sure they're often bitchier and sometimes bait-and-switch or worse, but screening and so-called, eh, spidey senses need to be on point, part of the Bx monger toolkit fr, again just my $0.02, cheers MrGJ.[/QUOTE]Kudos to your continued excellent posts.

[QUOTE=LatinLicker;7242113]Anyone got any more info on that NYPD chaplain that got BUSTED for soliciting in Pelham a few weeks ago?[/QUOTE]The location? They didn't give exact address but as a monger you can probably narrow it down heavily like MrGreenJeans8 did.

If I had only one guess the top candidate is likely 1990 E Gun Hill Rd. I been going on the horrors of the hotel/motel scene years ago this just makes it worse to it that when you knock on a door it could be a cop now. I think others got arrested quietly without any articles. The NYPD chaplain got the article since it sparks more conversation than some regular person getting arrested.

Stay safe out there.

Been eyeing her for a while, didn't see any reviews so decided to hit her up. Bronx has been dry as fuck, thought about hanging it up but text her. Anyway she replies fast with the address and I'm there. She opens the door and she's a tall Hispanic chick has one of those asses that don't really look like shit but bent over looks crazy. I went for the bbj we smoke and she gets to work. Suction and deepthroating crazzyyyyy, eye contact shorty even had the balls cupped the whole time. Before I busted had to try the pussy, now she did say for like 200 extra I could go bare but I had to pass on that. Either way pussy was wet and tight and she took a good pounding talking dirty. One of the young chicks that's kind of a breathe of fresh air from grannies and time wasters.

[QUOTE=MenaceMontega;7249163]Been eyeing her for a while, didn't see any reviews so decided to hit her up. Bronx has been dry as fuck, thought about hanging it up but text her. Anyway she replies fast with the address and I'm there. She opens the door and she's a tall Hispanic chick has one of those asses that don't really look like shit but bent over looks crazy. I went for the bbj we smoke and she gets to work. Suction and deepthroating crazzyyyyy, eye contact shorty even had the balls cupped the whole time. Before I busted had to try the pussy, now she did say for like 200 extra I could go bare but I had to pass on that. Either way pussy was wet and tight and she took a good pounding talking dirty. One of the young chicks that's kind of a breathe of fresh air from grannies and time wasters.[/QUOTE]You left out the most important detail in any review her ad.

[QUOTE=AbuSaho;7250014]You left out the most important detail in any review her ad.[/QUOTE]I could be wrong but I think this is the chick he's talking about. I'll be the first to tell you I don't give a damn about looks and I'm all about how great the performance is but idk I'd probably pass because shorty looks a little grimy.

[URL]https://escortalligator.com.listcrawler.eu/post/escorts/usa/newyork/bronx/185263758[/URL]

[QUOTE=TrapLord;7250835]I could be wrong but I think this is the chick he's talking about. I'll be the first to tell you I don't give a damn about looks and I'm all about how great the performance is but idk I'd probably pass because shorty looks a little grimy.

[URL]https://escortalligator.com.listcrawler.eu/post/escorts/usa/newyork/bronx/185263758[/URL][/QUOTE]One of her videos she's like "can you choke me. Please?" LOL.

What's up it's been over an month since I mongered cause I couldn't find nobody but today I hit up this MILF. She was at a hotel which I hate because we all know how this goes but anyway. I get there she looks mid 40's face kinda ugly, saggy tit's. I looked at her and was about to turn around and leave so I hand her the money red flag. She's counting my money as in she thinks it's fake. I told her no I work the fuccc so she gives me a good bbj for 15 minutes. Also she's not friendly kinda serious type of vibe so I recorded her sucking me dick. I give it a 9 out of 10 then I doggy her the puss was good too. And tight but I won't repeat cause of her attitude and she told me I was her first client cause no guys seen her. It was dry for her but it's funny how I hit up like 10 girls they all ghost me but after I see an escort they all randomly start hitting me up saying come through, smh. Weird but anyways just wanted to write this and I won't put the ad here cause lurkers just want info and then want to write a review like the rest of us, but yeah, that's all for this one.