"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=RubberyMan;2360008]Right throughout the animal kingdom, through evolution, the dominant males have mated with the most nubile and fertile females.

With the human animal having evolved to a thinking and cunning animal, that dominance includes not only control of physical resources, but also the ability to mate with as many females of the species as he can using his smarts.

I say that there is no such thing as sex addiction. We are doing exactly what evolution has programmed us to do. Mating with as many women as we can is just as much a part of our makeup as breathing.

As for civvy dating, well why not let THEM be the "just friends"? There are some really wonderful women out there my age (62), but why date them? Seek them out as friends, have a ball, but dating? That's for the younger ones, as evolution has designed.[/QUOTE]I agree with some of this, except that sex addiction is real, just as addiction to anything can be real. Addiction is simply when the indulgence in some activity starts to have adverse effects that you don't want, and you then find it challenging to control the indulgence. Anything enjoyable can become an addiction. Evolution also programs us to crave foods that aren't necessarily good for us, but all we have to do is observe people who are 600 lbs or people who keel over from heart disease / diabetes etc to understand that following our evolutionary cravings do not always lead us to success.

Think about what would happen if we did (as you said) what our sex drive urges us to do, which is fuck as many as we possibly can (or at least those we want to fuck). I can't speak for everyone, but if I had lived my life like that, I would have already had child support payments with at least a dozen different women and would be spending the rest of my life digging out of that financial hell. I would be too poor to afford SB dating. What's more, my attractiveness to potential civy women would be greatly diminished. Everyone knows that the more kids you have, the less desirable you are on the dating scene. Some guys I'm sure can lie about how many offspring they have initially, but eventually it all catches up to them. Thankfully, more than once my awareness and better judgment has allowed me to recognize those that were trying to get pregnant by me, and no matter how addicted I was to fucking them, I had to cut and run.

Be careful when you go bare guys. I'm awaiting results from a gonorrhea / chlamydia test that I had today. I think I got it from a dirty blowjob since I always wear life jacket when I go tunnel diving in the bowl. I went ahead and got the antibiotic shot in the hip and took 4 other antibiotic bills in case the test comes back positive. The urgent care doctor said it was either that or kidney stones. Either way my recent return to the bowl has gone awry.

[QUOTE=FotoGuy1970;2360204]I've tried to be a nice guy with these girls, but after dealing with thieves, liars, and fakes, my patience for dealing with some of their crap has become paper thin. As long as I feel that an arrangement or even plans for a M&G are going well, I am absolutely a very nice, understanding and generous person (much as I am in real life, outside of the sugar world). But as soon as a POT or a SB starts screwing things up, my niceness, understanding, and generosity will get very short, very quick.[/QUOTE]I've become the exact same way.

It's come to my attention one of the sb's on sa claiming to be 19, is actually still in high school and most likely 15-16. You guys think I should report her, or just mind my own business. She made some lame excuse about not being able to meet over the weekend before I did some digging, but who knows if she's met anyone and is looking perhaps to set them up.

[QUOTE=FotoGuy1970;2360204]I've tried to be a nice guy with these girls, but after dealing with thieves, liars, and fakes, my patience for dealing with some of their crap has become paper thin. As long as I feel that an arrangement or even plans for a M&G are going well, I am absolutely a very nice, understanding and generous person (much as I am in real life, outside of the sugar world). But as soon as a POT or a SB starts screwing things up, my niceness, understanding, and generosity will get very short, very quick.[/QUOTE]I always stay nice till the end. When it goes south I just move on. Live and learn.

" In the civvy dating world, I had to fight my nature of being a nice guy to get what I wanted. Essentially I was a the*ick to the girl I wanted to be with, and then eventually landed her. She is now my SO. " Smellyfish.

Is that a good thing Fish? Maybe you shouldn't have tried so hard. I think Hollywood has the dream life. When the SO good times are surpassed by the bad times then it makes the Sugar life look better and better. Marriage is usually good, until it isn't. And it always hits that "isn't " phase at some point. That is why we are all here, on line, emailing nubile young babes, trying to find that next conquest instead of snuggling up at home with the SO. Sad but true.

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2360586]" In the civvy dating world, I had to fight my nature of being a nice guy to get what I wanted. Essentially I was a the*ick to the girl I wanted to be with, and then eventually landed her. She is now my SO. " Smellyfish.

Is that a good thing Fish? Maybe you shouldn't have tried so hard. I think Hollywood has the dream life. When the SO good times are surpassed by the bad times then it makes the Sugar life look better and better. Marriage is usually good, until it isn't. And it always hits that "isn't " phase at some point. That is why we are all here, on line, emailing nubile young babes, trying to find that next conquest instead of snuggling up at home with the SO. Sad but true.[/QUOTE]I tell every SB that starts to take off. That I am in it for the honeymoon phase only. When that's over, we're done. Because there is one thing I will never do again, and that's having to "work" on a relationship. I already have one job and that's enough.

[QUOTE=Bastardo;2360465]It's come to my attention one of the sb's on sa claiming to be 19, is actually still in high school and most likely 15-16. You guys think I should report her, or just mind my own business. She made some lame excuse about not being able to meet over the weekend before I did some digging, but who knows if she's met anyone and is looking perhaps to set them up.[/QUOTE]I've reported a couple of girls to SA for being underage and I knew for a fact that they were. I personally think it's best to keep the underage girls off of the site so that SA doesn't attract the kind of attention that it really does not want.

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2360433]I agree with some of this, except that sex addiction is real, just as addiction to anything can be real. Addiction is simply when the indulgence in some activity starts to have adverse effects that you don't want, and you then find it challenging to control the indulgence. Anything enjoyable can become an addiction. Evolution also programs us to crave foods that aren't necessarily good for us, but all we have to do is observe people who are 600 lbs or people who keel over from heart disease / diabetes etc to understand that following our evolutionary cravings do not always lead us to success.

Think about what would happen if we did (as you said) what our sex drive urges us to do, which is fuck as many as we possibly can (or at least those we want to fuck). I can't speak for everyone, but if I had lived my life like that, I would have already had child support payments with at least a dozen different women and would be spending the rest of my life digging out of that financial hell. I would be too poor to afford SB dating. What's more, my attractiveness to potential civy women would be greatly diminished. Everyone knows that the more kids you have, the less desirable you are on the dating scene. Some guys I'm sure can lie about how many offspring they have initially, but eventually it all catches up to them. Thankfully, more than once my awareness and better judgment has allowed me to recognize those that were trying to get pregnant by me, and no matter how addicted I was to fucking them, I had to cut and run.[/QUOTE]I had a vsec back in '08. One of the best things I've ever done. Instead of pulling out you get to stay in and let it go. It's been a beautiful thing.

[QUOTE=HollywoodGuy;2360631]I tell every SB that starts to take off. That I am in it for the honeymoon phase only. When that's over, we're done. Because there is one thing I will never do again, and that's having to "work" on a relationship. I already have one job and that's enough.[/QUOTE]Amen Brother! If I had a nickel for every time I've been told I need to work on my issues and then my marriage I would be a zillionaire. I yam what I yam as popeye so eloquently stated to Olive Oyl. I'm tired of constantly working. I need to play.

"Working" a 10/10 Pot who does not want a sexual relationship. I thought I would take a backseat on this one and agree for a lower amount to some non IC play. We'll see. If the pussy isn't breached then it isn't sex is it? Like Hollywood, if I can play with a 10 for a $ then I could be happy for a while. And my magic could probably tip her over into the zone. Also a higher allowance has got to be some incentive. I give this one a 20% chance of making it to the M&G.

[QUOTE=Mike7794;2360839]I had a vsec back in '08. One of the best things I've ever done. Instead of pulling out you get to stay in and let it go. It's been a beautiful thing.[/QUOTE]Yeah, I've seriously considered vasectomy myself. My tactic thus far has been mostly hit-and-run, tag-'em and take off. It's worked well -- if I have any kids I don't know about them. But my point was just that the addiction is still a real consideration for most people. I guess for the 1% with infinite amounts of disposable income it might be less of an issue, but I'm pretty sure if I were in that income category I probably would have died from an STD by now.

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2361173]Amen Brother! If I had a nickel for every time I've been told I need to work on my issues and then my marriage I would be a zillionaire. I yam what I yam as popeye so eloquently stated to Olive Oyl. I'm tired of constantly working. I need to play.

"Working" a 10/10 Pot who does not want a sexual relationship. I thought I would take a backseat on this one and agree for a lower amount to some non IC play. We'll see. If the pussy isn't breached then it isn't sex is it? Like Hollywood, if I can play with a 10 for a $ then I could be happy for a while. And my magic could probably tip her over into the zone. Also a higher allowance has got to be some incentive. I give this one a 20% chance of making it to the M&G.[/QUOTE]I love when they agree to the non IC date. Its a good test to see how attracted they are to you. Its funny (and sometimes surprising) how many go to POTF in a few minutes. I remember my first date with my new ATF which was supposed to be a "no sex, no money" date to talk in the car. After about 10 minutes she said "you forgot to bring the lube?"

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2361280]Yeah, I've seriously considered vasectomy myself. My tactic thus far has been mostly hit-and-run, tag-'em and take off. It's worked well -- if I have any kids I don't know about them. But my point was just that the addiction is still a real consideration for most people. I guess for the 1% with infinite amounts of disposable income it might be less of an issue, but I'm pretty sure if I were in that income category I probably would have died from an STD by now.[/QUOTE]So I was seeing a SB from Dec 13 to June 14. I always try to get them to email me because most don't layer things. So they send me email from their regular email so I'm able to go into PI mode and discover as much as I can about them. Social network profiles, internet search for criminal records, real name, etc. So I know who this girl is. Shortly after I stopped seeing her. Her and BF pics on social media happily announcing she's pregnant. Followed along creeping her social media every month or so. Come to find out the baby is due any day now. Subtracting 40 weeks from now clearly puts me in the potential daddy zone by my math. I haven't heard or had contact with her since July. If the pics of baby come out and. She doesn't know who I am at all.

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2361173]Amen Brother! If I had a nickel for every time I've been told I need to work on my issues and then my marriage I would be a zillionaire. I yam what I yam as popeye so eloquently stated to Olive Oyl. I'm tired of constantly working. I need to play.[/QUOTE]I think it's normal for a male to feel unrewarded (or at least not to satisfaction) for busting our asses day in and day out. Society has changed such that it's tough-going being a male. There has been much written about how women are finding it harder and harder to find someone who is even interested in marriage. Being married has so many disadvantages to men these days that some are wising up at a young age and just opting for the bachelor life permanently.

I'm somewhat in that category. Marriage is a BTDT thing with me and I won't return to it. Not long ago I was shuffling around some retirement account money, reading all the form fine print about the rights of "my spouse" (if I had one) to that money. Same goes with real estate equity. FUCK THAT! The laws have made marriage too unattractive.

However, it's one of things that if you're already in it, and you want out, best plan the escape route very carefully.

But as far as working on a relationship, yes of course it is work. Anything in life that is worthwhile is work.

I find searching for SBs to be a fuckload of work. I feel like a damn HR department in a temp staffing agency when I do it. It's not much different except the payoff is blowing our load rather than getting a commission check.

Civy dating itself is a lot of work too, whether you're a player or struggling to get laid. Lots and lots of work.

Escorts are easy. Aside from that, the payoff is a factor of the amount of effort we put into it.

Overall, my relationship is more rewarding that my SB antics, just in a much different way. The payoff is less intense, but longer lasting. Well I still get the short intense payoffs too...lol... they just aren't as fun with the same girl night after night. The long-term pay off is not sitting at home alone wishing my dick still worked at age 75 or whatever. At least if things continue I have a chance of having a partner that I actually enjoy spending non-sexual time with. I've always preferred that to being alone.

Have to do it without the SO knowing. I understand that it is a short procedure but afterward can I drive myself home? If I have to take a cab home then some precise scheduling may be required. After SO leaves home I come back and leave the car at home, take a cab to the place of surgery and return home the same way. I think I should be able to tell SO that I am not well and will stay home from work the next day.

How long is the typical time for recovery? Is it advisable to go back and get a sperm count to be sure or is a home test reliable?

I would appreciate any advice / information.