Flirting with Potential SBs in the Wild
I have received numerous PMs asking about the specific techniques I use to flirt with potential SBs. This may not be for veteran SDs, but there may be a few gems in here for everyone. The main key to all of this is [B] FLIRTING [/B]. Most women love to flirt and be flirted with, even when there is a significant age difference, and playfully flirting is the main technique I use for gauging whether a potential SB is ready to consider the SB invitation. While the following are primarily aimed at recruiting a SB from scratch, there might be some helpful tidbits here for any M&G situation. Here are my helpful suggestions:
[B]Cleanliness and Clothing.[/B]This may seem obvious, but it's baffling how many guys don't take hygiene seriously or know how to dress to impress. Physical attractiveness isn't the most important thing when it comes to being able to approach a young woman you are interested in flirting with. Even if you don't consider yourself attractive, personal maintenance can go a long way. This includes things like wearing clean, pressed DRESSY clothes (I have a black velvet jacket that begs to be touched and they inevitably do that and coo like they are petting a cute furry bunny), a fresh shower, deodorant, light cologne, brushed teeth, mouthwash (I carry a small bottle with me at all times, and / or mints), well manicured nails (women pay close attention to your hands and nails!), well cut and combed hair. And SHOES! Women pay attention to shoes. Have yours be an expensive pair and well shined.
[b]Pre-Approach[/b] Before you even approach her, read her body language. Accurately reading a woman's body language can give you a good idea whether or not your approach is going to be successful. Most women make it pretty clear if they don't want to be approached by how they sit, what they have with them, how they react to you. Do*not*ignore these signs. Typically if a woman is reading a book, listening to music, or working intently at her computer she's not going welcome a conversational intrusion from you. Now, if she's spending a lot of her time looking around instead of working or reading she might be open to conversation.
Someone whose arms are crossed across their chest and who is angled away from you (especially if they got into that position after making eye contact with you) is someone who doesn't want to be approached.
Remember, that women are taught from a young age that they need to be pleasant to people and so, while she might verbally accept your intrusion into her space, her body language might be telling you differently.
Make eye contact. *Eye contact is a fantastic and safe way to gauge someone's interest and openness to conversation. Try catching the eye of the woman you want to speak with. Three times tends to be a charm (as the saying goes). After the third meet of the eyes, approach her. A smile is also good for gauging interest. If she smiles at you, that's a pretty good sign she wouldn't be adverse to a conversation, especially if she does it without a first smile by you.
This works pretty much anywhere. You can make eye contact at a crowded bar, a restaurant, a coffee shop, a club, a bookstore, a library, at a subway stop, on a bus, on a plane or just walking in the park.
[b]Your "IN"[/b] Consider your "in" with the woman. The first initial interaction with a woman will set the stage for the remainder of the encounter, so it is important to choose your approach wisely.
Research shows that women are more receptive to direct introductions than to cute-flippant lines, compliments, or attempts at humor. Use a respectful opening. Ask for help. This could be something as simple as asking her which coffee shop she thinks is the best. After some warm conversation, casually ask her to join you for coffee at the place she recommended. Use your surroundings. If you're in a bookstore ask her if she knows where you might find a particular book. If you're both waiting for the bus, you could ask her the time and then make a joke how the bus is always late, especially when the weather's really bad.
Ask questions: For example, if she's wearing something really cool, ask her about it. Say "Hey I couldn't help noticing you're wearing a Seahawks' sweatshirt. Are you a big fan?" or "Have you ever been to one of that band's shows? I hear they're amazing. " It gives you something to connect over and opens the possibility for further conversation. Project confidence. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities women look for in a man. You should go into a flirting encounter acknowledging your value as a person so that the woman will pick up on this. Faking confidence is one of the best ways to trick yourself into feeling actually confident. Women are receptive to how people feel about themselves and they will pick up on it if you have no faith in yourself Smile! Women are more drawn to someone with a smiling face. Smiling sends a positive initial message, and can also raise a woman's first impression of you before you even decide to start flirting with her.
[b]The Warm-Up[/b] Look for opportunities to expand the conversation. Understand body language. Research shows that more than 90% of our communication is non-verbal, with only a small amount of communication happening through our actual words. Because of this, body language is by far the most powerful weapon you have in your recruiting arsenal. Understanding how to employ body language in your favor will overshadow almost any other mistake that you might make during the flirting process. Practice body language mirroring. This basically means that you should imitate the other person's tone of voice, facial expressions, etc. This will make the other person feel at ease with you and build rapport between you both. Be mindful of how you position your arms. Having an*open*demeanor is what you should aim for when flirting with women. This means that you need to avoid crossing your arms (I. E. *closing*your body) or legs. Crossing your arms can be viewed as trying to put a barrier between yourself and the other person. Try to keep your arms hanging at your sides if you are standing. And if you are sitting, open your legs toward the woman, if possible, and rest your arms on the tops of your legs, with your hands dangling between your legs. This stance demonstrates confidence and openness. Tilt your body towards her. This goes back to creating an*open*feeling between you and the woman you're flirting with. Tilting your head towards a person lets them know you're listening. Tilting your body towards a person lets them know you are fully engaged in the conversation. Touch her playfully. A small touch can let a woman know you are interested in more than just talking to her. Try complimenting her on her necklace and touching it briefly or lightly touching her arm as you laugh at something funny she's said.
[b]Verbally flirt:[/b] Studies have shown that women employ more nonverbal flirting cues than men, but that they are prone to anticipate and expect more verbal flirting cues from the men who flirt with them. As such, men who employ nonverbal flirting cues when engaging with flirtations with women might not be received as positively as men who employ more verbal flirting cues, which is what women are prone to expect. These men might even be viewed as less masculine because they are implementing flirting techniques that are considered to be more feminine. Be yourself. This goes along with being confident. You need to remember that you yourself are a cool person and someone that people would enjoy talking to (as long as you're respectful). Don't be afraid of what she might think about you when you approach her. The woman should get a sense of who you are, even if it's a less intense version of you. So, for example, if you aren't into outdoorsy things don't pretend to be to impress her. She'll figure out pretty quickly that you're a phony and she won't be that interested. Have a natural conversation. Once you've broken the ice, you'll want to have a natural conversation with her. This can grow naturally out of your icebreaker comment. For example, if she says that she's a big fan of the Seahawks, you might talk about them winning the Super Bowl and where you both were when that happened. A compliment is also a good thing to drop into your conversation so she knows you're interested in her. This shouldn't be something grandiose like "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" (it comes off as insincere). Instead say something like "Your outfit really matches your eyes. It's a great color" or "Those earrings are amazing. Did you make them yourself?" For the bookstore example, when you've asked where a particular book is, ask her if she's read it. If she doesn't say that it's one of her favorites then ask her what her favorite book is (or favorite genre, since choosing a favorite book can be difficult). If you've offered to buy her a drink at a bar and she's accepted, you could talk about some of the funniest things you've seen intoxicated people do. This will make her laugh and allow her to reciprocate with funny stories of her own. Listen to her. A woman will notice if you're spending the whole conversation staring at her breasts and not listening to a word she says. Likewise, she'll be very put off if you spend the entire time burbling on about yourself. When she speaks, listen to her and ask questions that show you're interested.
Ask her opinion on a subject, even if it's something as basic as whether bluegrass is better than country music, or whether she thinks politics is really screwed up.
[b]Fascinate her. [/b]You want your conversation to get her interested and not be the same old boring "what's the weather like" routine. You will want to show her what makes you unique and why she would want to continue the conversation. Talk about something that you're really interested in. For instance, if you're on your way back from something cool (like you were just at a concert) mention it. If you taught yourself Japanese, work that into the conversation (you can even throw in some humor by mentioning how difficult it was and some of the hilarious screw-ups you had). Find something in common. A good way to set up some mutual fascination is to find things in common to talk about (like those Seahawks). If it seems like there is a bond between you, she'll be more likely to wan to continue the conversation. If you're at a bookstore, find some mutual books you both enjoy; if you're at a concert, chat about different kinds of music. Even things like laughing over a late bus can set up commonality between you two. Tell her something interesting. Show her that you're the sort of person who is interested in the world. If something has happened lately in your city or town, discuss it. Demonstrate your sense of humor. Humor can create a bond faster than anything else. Of course, you have to remember that not everyone has the same sense of humor. Fortunately, there are some types of humor and things you can say that have a good guarantee for making the woman laugh. Gently poke fun at yourself. This will show that you don't take yourself too seriously. However, you want to make sure you aren't belittling yourself. Tell her about the time you got on the wrong bus and ended up halfway across town or when you gave your friend a big hug, only for it to turn out not to be your friend. You can also mention something really funny that you saw. Maybe you noticed a really short person get tangled up when they were walking a bunch of dogs, or you happened to witness a whole troupe of clowns exiting a bar. Real events tend to be more funny than just saying funny things and can lead to a mutual conversation as she recalls funny things she's seen. Compliment her: Women are sexual but they don't usually enjoy a sexual approach from someone they just met. Avoid making any comments about her body from the neck down, unless you're talking about her clothes. The nicest types of compliments, though, are about personality traits, like, 'You seem really kind,' or 'You're really warm and inviting. '" If she seems receptive, you can consider going over the top with something like: "I know this is totally random, but I think you are absolutely ravishing, and I knew I would have been kicking myself for the rest of the day if I didn't find out more about you. "
[b]Know when to back off. [/b]Sometimes it doesn't matter how funny or charming or nice you are. Not every young woman is going to want to have a conversation with you. She will signal this by not opening up any topics of conversation, you'll be the only one talking. She'll give short responses to your questions. Women also tend to not look the person in the eye when they are not interested in them. If any of these things happen, then know for sure they are If she's only answering in monosyllables, or she keeps checking her phone, or not making eye contact, she's probably looking for a way out of the conversation.
Show that you are a class act. Say pleasantly, "Well, it was nice talking to you. I hope we meet again sometime. "
Remember, no one owes you time or energy and if she seems uninterested in the conversation, back off nicely.
[b]Additional Ideas:[/b].
If she was talking with someone before you talked to her, don't start the conversation with anything that has to do with the topic she was talking about earlier. Eavesdropping won't look good on your part.
Understand verbal versus nonverbal communication. We communicate in many different ways. Body language, as discussed earlier, is very important, as is verbal communication. Both types of communication can be very powerful, so attention must be paid to both. Be perceptive to her body language. *Notice if she is leaning in towards you or offering you small, quick smiles. Both of these are good signs and indicate that you should continue. If, however, she is not smiling or is constantly looking away, take this as an indicator that she is not receptive to your advances. Recognizing these types of physical cues is an ability that is very much instinctual. We We can inherently tell when another person is a good potential match. In animal / instinctual terms, these physical cues are signals that you don't intend to dominate, nor do you intend to flee--both useful messages to send before proceeding to intimations of a possible SB relationship. [b]Make her laugh.[/b] There are many ways to make women laugh. You can try walking a tricky line by integrating two things that normally wouldn't be good at all by themselves: arrogance and stupid humor If you're arrogant, she won't want anything to do with you, and if you just make stupid funny comments all the time she's going to think you're just a clown and won't take you seriously. But when you mix these two tactics together, the combination becomes something that'll draw the girl's attention to you like a magnet to metal. You've probably heard and seen things about nice guys finishing last and that jerks always get the girl. This is often because the nice guys don't use this technique, but the jerks do. This technique is effective because it shows the woman that you're funny and that you can laugh at yourself (by laughing at your own implied, pretend arrogance). Keep the conversation going. Do this by asking her questions!
Ask questions about the environment (What do you think about the band playing at this club / bar? or "Have you tried the food here? or Do they make any good specialty drinks here?") or about things happening in the world (How do you like that new comedy movie? And remember, a person's favorite topic to talk about is always themselves.
If you're planning on truly getting the girl you must become the girl. Find out what her interests are, her style, sense of humor, likes and dislikes, and other things that make her her. That way she may feel comfortable when you approach her. Then mimic and compliment her voice and other traits with yours.
If you want see fantastic flirting in action between an older guy and a younger girl, see these YouTube clips. Many, many hot young actresses admit that they would sleep with Craig Ferguson in a second. Craig just turned 60. Watch the master at work:
[URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yB5iRXjkTOw[/URL]
The best of the bowl is this way too.
[QUOTE=Hal1957;5933640]Sugaring in the wild isn't about the allowance, it's about all the things you can do for her that she couldn't imagine doing on her own.[/QUOTE]I've had some amazing SA experiences that were more like showcase showdown of cash and prizes. Achieving goals, experiencing luxuries well before her age and income might allow.
Connection, Seduction and FLIRTING
[QUOTE=BookerTNelson;5933833]I always take the stance that sugaring itself is about your ability to establish a connection with these women. Understand the art of seduction and attraction will get you better experiences with them and open many doors. The money often times only comes into play for me when I'm impatient and rushing, or I end up with a woman that is on her way to being a pro and I'm using her for a specific service that I want.[/QUOTE]Amen brother. Most women LOVE to flirt. So FLIRT! Do it all the time. Flirt with everyone, all ages, all sexes. Flirt with waiters / waitresses, tellers at the bank, people standing with you in a line, cashiers at the grocery store, sales clerks, the person next to you in the movies / theatre / concert. In short, flirt with everyone everywhere you go. Get good at it. Be natural at it. People will find you interesting and engaging. The ones that don't? So what? Move on. Life is too short not to engage people you meet. As a side benefit, sugaring in the wild will become as natural as breathing.
If you want a great tutorial on flirting, check out this YouTube video using Craig Ferguson as an example. He is the master at this. He flirts with every guest on his show, male or female. He is 60 but young actresses would fall on his dick in a heartbeat, and he wouldn't even have to pay them! LOL: [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NalcOPBXvs[/URL].
Not messaging on NextDoor, duh
[QUOTE=RogerOver;5934431]Doesn't Nextdoor require your real info and address? I was on Nextdoor for about 30 minutes, until I saw it's the same echo chamber that FB is.[/QUOTE]Just get their contact info from their posts and text via an app.
An Evolved Woman's Point of View on Sex for Money
I excerpted parts of an article that appeared 7 years ago in an on line magazine by and for women called DAME. To spare you the entire article, I have edited out the longer less relevant sections and made bold certain sentences that give you the basic gist. If you want to reread the entire article you can find it at [URL] https://www.damemagazine.com/2015/09/29/i-was-offered-3500-have-sex-stranger/ [/URL]
The main point here is that people's attitudes are changing about the whole subject of women having sex for money. I have always contended that morality has little to do with sugaring. It is merely a matter of economics. This article by a professional female writer who is a champion of women's rights agrees. Companionship and sex is like any other labor skill that is bought and sold. Our Puritan roots have caused us as a society to view otherwise, to the point of making such transactions illegal. Well, of course, except in Nevada, LOL. Maybe, like with weed and gambling, we will eventually come to our senses as a society and stop criminalizing something on "moral" grounds. That never works. Remember Prohibition?
[B]I Was Offered $3,500 to Have Sex With a Stranger[/B]
Several weeks ago, I received an email from a stranger that said, "Would you like to go out on a*paid*date*say $3,500 & fool around and play for research for your next book?" That question was followed by his name. A date three days hence was in the subject line. At first, I laughed it off; I've been writing about sex long enough to know which emails to ignore. Yet I I couldn't stop thinking about it not the offer itself, which I didn't actually think was real, but my reaction to it. I was offended, but kept turning over that feeling in my mind. [B]Was I offended that he offered me money or that he didn't offer enough?[/B] Was I bothered by his brevity? Why did this email skeeve me out more than the guys on FetLife who send ludicrous propositions or dick pics, with no mention of financial compensation? [B]Or was it something more sinister was I perturbed by the idea that he'd mistaken me for a prostitute, even though he clearly knew I was a writer?[/B].
The latter assumption didn't sit well with me, especially as someone who*supports sex-worker rights. Could I really say that with a straight face if I somehow felt I was "above" sex work? I asked my friend*Melissa Petro, a former sex worker who was forced to leave her New York City teaching job when her professional history*came to light, for her reaction. Does she believe, as I was starting to suspect, that deep down, every woman has a price? Petro doesn't think so, but she did tell me,[B] I wonder if every woman in need of money doesn't have to consider such offers that much harder than women with money. There were times, for years, that I would have seriously considered every reasonable offer, when I was single and struggling to pay my rent and eat even though it would have felt humiliating. Being broke and not being able to pay your rent or feed yourself is humiliating, too.[/B].
Talking to my friend*Kimberlee Clinea sex worker and founder of non-profit organization*Red Umbrella Policy Project made me wonder if I'd been looking at the subject all wrong. First off, the propositioner wasn't totally out of line, in her opinion. "Even though you're not a sex-for-hire sex worker, you're a sex professional on some level, so reaching out to you in your capacity as an expert does not seem inappropriate. I admire this person's recognition that he should make it worth your time to have sex with him or even really talk to him at all. ".
He wasn't insulting me. "There's this concept that if a man equates sex with money, he's somehow degrading the woman's intelligence and emotional integrity," she explained. "I think that's a really misogynist view of sexuality. " She went on to add, "The whole idea that it's offensive to equate sexuality with money has a lot more to do with the purity of womanhood idea, which is rooted in separating women from the economy. [B] What people are upset about is not that women have sex, but that women are making money, and if there's sex involved with making money, then its acceptable to hate it.[/B].
In other words, I shouldn't be offended by being offered money for sex, when [B] money has always been at the root of intimate relationships and still is[/B], even in our supposedly egalitarian times. Take sugar babies and sugar daddies meaning women, typically young, who are just starting out in the working world and accept money from older men. Money is already part of the equation in sexual and romantic relationships, whether they officially involve sex work or not. To think otherwise is to ignore the history of marriage and its current reality. Remember all the buzz about the "wife bonus?" It sounded outlandish, but of course [B]we all make negotiations about money every day. Why should the realm of sex be any different?[/B].
What Women Say vs. What They Mean
[QUOTE=EvilTmp;5937409]In my experience you should never ever listen to what a woman says or write about dating or men to women relationships. It is completely irrelevant and not grounded in any reality. It's all rationalization and what makes her feel a certain way at that moment. Truth, trying to find some kernel of veracity, or learning a valuable lesson is never part of it. They don't do it out of spite or maliciously, it's simply how they're wired. It's all about avoiding accountability for their actions, maximizing rewards, saving their reputation, and feeling in control of the relationship. We now have so much objective data to see how women behave vs what they say and that gulf is wide. I don't begrudge them for it, I understand its simply their nature.
The author is rationalizing sex work because duh! money. And every girl LOVES money. How many fathers want their little girl growing up to turn tricks and sell snatch to strangers?[/QUOTE]You may be quite correct in your assessment that women say one thing and mean another. Just look at the following examples of what a woman says vs. what she really means.
[B]It's fine[/B]
It's totally NOT fine but I am completely frustrated with your argument and I choose not to continue talking to you, you big fucking jerk!
[B]Does This Make Me Look Fat?[/B]
I am feeling completely vulnerable at this moment and I need reassurances from you that I am not just acceptable to you but also that I am the love of your life around which the entire universe revolves.
[B]We Need To Talk[/B]
You have done something that really upsets me and I have been thinking about it now for 24 hours and have rehearsed over 100 times a verbal assault you will not survive without complete and utter contrition.
[B]Ill Be Ready in Five More Minutes![/B]
I am tired of your badgering me to get ready and I will take my goddamn time doing so. So back off and cool your heels until I am happy with my indeterminate preparations!
[B]Awww, look at that baby![/B]
I am feeling extremely maternal and all warm and cuddly. Fuck me immediately and impregnate me with child so I can re-focus my life on a beautiful baby rather than your sorry ass.
[B]Ill Just Go For One Drink.[/B]
Who the hell are you to tell me how much I can drink? I will have one drink and then another and then another if I damn well please!
[B]Do Whatever You Want.[/B]
You refuse to knuckle under to my request, so go ahead and do what you want at your peril. Because the hell you are going to go through with me definitely isn't worth it.
[B]Youre Just Like a Brother To Me.[/B]
You are definitely never ever getting into my pants.
[B]We Can Still Be Friends[/B]
We are definitely not fucking any more. But if you want to hang around and do my bidding, and laugh at my jokes and fawn all over me like a lost puppy, I won't object.
[B]Sorry, My Phone Was Off[/B]
My time is more important than yours and I don't need to reply to you as quickly as you think you need me to. So wait in line like the other losers in my life.
[B]How Do You Know Her?[/B]
You piece of shit. You fucked her didn't you?
[B]I Wasnt That Drunk[/B]
Do NOT remind me how tanked I can get and do stupid shit. I deserve a pass. Why? Just because.
[B]Is That What Youre Wearing?[/B]
You tasteless boob. You don't have a clue and you need me to pick out your future clothing purchases so I can tell everyone how helpless you are without me.
[B]Its Not You, Its Me.[/B]
You pissed me off in ways I don't care to explain. Get out of my fucking sight!
[B]I Have Nothing To Wear.[/B]
You are responsible for my wardrobe malfunction which can be easily addressed with either cash or your credit card.
[B]Ill Just Have a Salad.[/B]
I was a pig all week and ate 99,999 calories worth of junk. This salad is my atonement so praise me for having such gastronomic discipline.
As for a father not wanting his darling daughter to suck strangers' cocks and sell her snatch for dough? I guess then it is fine if she sucks a lot of cocks and gives up her snatch for free?
Any thoughts on this one?
Honest Seductress. Tried a search on here but got no results under that.
Messaged her and she just asked "When are you in Richmond?" The profile seems to suggest she's dtf, ad she looks pretty good. Got no hits from Google Image.
[URL]https://members.seeking.com/member/cf2ae9fa-7557-4969-a210-aa7f17533db2[/URL]
