Massage Parlor Reports

Had nothing much to do the other day so ran over to one of the AMPs that has been on what I guess I'll call my 2d tier rotation list. This is a place worth checking out every once in a while but for me it has been just unpredictable enough that it can't be counted on in a pinch.

Well, I need to report that this was the single worst Hobby experience I've had, with no exceptions, and I've found myself in a few sketchy situations over the years.

The experience got off to a somewhat rocky start. When I arrived, the lady on duty did not seem all that pleased to see me, prompting me to ask if indeed she desired my company. She replied, "Yes, you are the customer, so you are in charge." This did not say happiness to me. Although I'm not generally naive enough to expect to be greeted by a tidal wave of affection and joy when I open the door to one of these places, I've certainly found that sessions do not generally go well when the provider is not motivated. I asked again and decided that as I was already there I'd might as well pay up and continue.

After a few minutes of uninspired massage, she ordered me to flip. And I do mean order. So, being a cheerful and compliant sort of fellow, I flipped, whereupon she noted with a scowl that Little Brother was not quite ready for action, as it were. Out came the oil and the lady's hands went right to work. Two or three minutes into this, I had to ask her to slow it down as her frantic pumping and squeezing was beginning to scare me--and I do not scare easily.

Thinking of being scared also scared Little Brother, who immediately retreated... thus prompting the lady to ask, "You finish, right?" Not exactly, I replied. She went back to work, but every 5 minutes she provided a running commentary, the gist of which was: 1. "You take too long!" 2. "Girls no like man to take so long." 3. "I no like man who take so long." 4. "You not finish, you bring me bad luck."

As though this weren't quite enough of the wrong kind of stimulus, she launched into a monologue about men who dressed as women, and women who dressed as men. My brain entered a new sphere of reality as I contemplated what this could possibly be about. At which time, I swear I heard her say, "I am man, not woman." Looking at her ample breasts, which she had reluctantly freed from their fortress, squeezing her cute ass and looking again at her face, hands and feet, I concluded that I'd misheard her, and I remain convinced of this as I write this too-long report. However, this matter did not assist Little Brother, especially as she returned to her running commentary. I finally asked her to stop everything. She reverted to slapping my thighs, hard, only inches from now deflated Little Brother. This hurt and set me to thinking about the 911 call that someone would have to make if her hand missed my thigh and whacked Little Brother: "I massage lady! I hit customer's Little Brother! Oh my God! He is maybe dead!" Then she reached down and began to toy with him again, squeezing, poking and prodding.

This session finally ended, almost exactly 60 minutes after it had begun. This was a consolation, of sorts, as I observed that at least I had not been shorted on time.

I was laughing my ass off. I only wish you would out the place.

Nothing on the calendar for the next little while so I will catch up on reports. Two weeks ago saw a CL ad for a place in Needham that promised "Satisfying" massage and featured a photo of a winsome young Asian lass standing provocatively in a doorway.

Don't quite know whether I should blame the word or the photo, but stupidity numbed my senses and as I was passing through the area I picked up the Blackberry and dialed the digits shown.

Lady was busy when I called, told me to report for massage session later in the afternoon. "Will it be Satisfying?," I asked. "You want massage, yes or no?" was her response. "Ummmmm.. yes, guess so," I said, "That is yes, no? Be here 4:30 o'clock!'

First, what is this odd streak of mine that has me set up with massage ladies who start our relationship by criticizing me? Was it something I said? Was it my fashionable attire, perhaps, or the pork pie hat I so jauntily wear when I leave the Old Manse for an afternoon of sport after I manage to get up on the right side of the bed and the meds have had a chance to kick in?

Be that as it may, but if I want a girl to push me around I'll marry one.... or perhaps one of my kind friends on this Forum can refer me to a young Asian woman with 36C bolt ons, big nipples and a paddle. (On second thought, this does seem rather appealing, does it not?)

Anyway, not to lose our train of thought: I showed up at the modest office building in Needham, and as I walked down the hall toward the door I considered what joy might await me there. A gentle knock and the door swings open. There to my disbelieving eyes stands my Grandmother! My Great Grand Mother in fact! If I were Asian, which I am not, that it what this lady would, could, might have been.

I looked around, noticed two or three doors. Grannie points me to a room, instructs me to prepare. I am still thinking that she is Mamma, responsible for managing the activities of a flock of gorgeous young women who were, even as I stripped, downstairs repositioning their breasts in their bright red satin brassieres so that their nipples would show as they bent over me to gently run their hands through my hair as I stared up at them, astonished at my good fortune in discovering such a paradise. But alas, Dear Reader, as you have intuited, this was not to be. It was indeed Grannie herself who proceeded to pour the oil on my back.

She did provide a nice massage. And toward the end, so help me, my distorted manly instincts took possession of my very soul and I pointed to Little Brother and said: "Will you satisfy him?" figuring that if I kept my eyes shut I could endure her ministrations while thinking of the girls downstairs. She started to do so, though with no detectable enthusiasm, and for a brief moment Little Brother began to twitch and rise to the occasion. Then I opened my eyes. From that point of view, with her face looming in the semi-darkness above me, she appeared far older than her years.

Thankfully, at that very moment, the loudest AMP timer in the history of the Hobby rang and I used that as my cue to jump up off the table, get dressed and get out. Fast, very fast.

[QUOTE=Boston Ampfan]Nothing on the calendar for the next little while so I will catch up on reports. Two weeks ago saw a CL ad for a place in Needham that promised "Satisfying" massage and featured a photo of a winsome young Asian lass standing provocatively in a doorway.

Don't quite know whether I should blame the word or the photo, but stupidity numbed my senses and as I was passing through the area I picked up the Blackberry and dialed the digits shown.

Lady was busy when I called, told me to report for massage session later in the afternoon. "Will it be Satisfying?," I asked. "You want massage, yes or no?" was her response. "Ummmmm.. yes, guess so," I said, "That is yes, no? Be here 4:30 o'clock!'

First, what is this odd streak of mine that has me set up with massage ladies who start our relationship by criticizing me? Was it something I said? Was it my fashionable attire, perhaps, or the pork pie hat I so jauntily wear when I leave the Old Manse for an afternoon of sport after I manage to get up on the right side of the bed and the meds have had a chance to kick in?

Be that as it may, but if I want a girl to push me around I'll marry one.... or perhaps one of my kind friends on this Forum can refer me to a young Asian woman with 36C bolt ons, big nipples and a paddle. (On second thought, this does seem rather appealing, does it not?)

Anyway, not to lose our train of thought: I showed up at the modest office building in Needham, and as I walked down the hall toward the door I considered what joy might await me there. A gentle knock and the door swings open. There to my disbelieving eyes stands my Grandmother! My Great Grand Mother in fact! If I were Asian, which I am not, that it what this lady would, could, might have been.

I looked around, noticed two or three doors. Grannie points me to a room, instructs me to prepare. I am still thinking that she is Mamma, responsible for managing the activities of a flock of gorgeous young women who were, even as I stripped, downstairs repositioning their breasts in their bright red satin brassieres so that their nipples would show as they bent over me to gently run their hands through my hair as I stared up at them, astonished at my good fortune in discovering such a paradise. But alas, Dear Reader, as you have intuited, this was not to be. It was indeed Grannie herself who proceeded to pour the oil on my back.

She did provide a nice massage. And toward the end, so help me, my distorted manly instincts took possession of my very soul and I pointed to Little Brother and said: "Will you satisfy him?" figuring that if I kept my eyes shut I could endure her ministrations while thinking of the girls downstairs. She started to do so, though with no detectable enthusiasm, and for a brief moment Little Brother began to twitch and rise to the occasion. Then I opened my eyes. From that point of view, with her face looming in the semi-darkness above me, she appeared far older than her years.

Thankfully, at that very moment, the loudest AMP timer in the history of the Hobby rang and I used that as my cue to jump up off the table, get dressed and get out. Fast, very fast.[/QUOTE]

Seriously I was wondering who that gent was that went running by me with his pants down by his knees...guess i know who it was now lol. Hopefully one of these reports will be positive.
Not to prolong your agony but a few years ago I went to one of these aamps and as you said the door opened up and I saw my grandma there. Now I can't tell ages but she was 50 plus.Like you I was tired of calling places and it was hot and the traffic sucked......so I stayed. Well unlike your horror show my ended rather pleasantly. The massage was quite good....the conversation was very pleasant and the prelude was quite nice. Well to make a long story short....the session ended up as a very remarkable almost gfe all inclusive session. Now before anyone goes yuck....she wasn't pruny..or excessively sagging but just older. Being older she knew how to please and that she did. She obviously had been a mom and the kiddos had moved on. She moved on shortly after that but it goes to show you never know. And BTW this is NOT the older lady that I turned you onto. (no names folks) Of course I've also run into a few that turned out like yours.........SO

Hi,

I was wondering where the Waltham Wellness place is? How can I reach them or just do a drop by?

Also how can I reach Stacey for an appt?

Thanks,

SJ

[QUOTE=Jimmy Pratt]Went to Waltham Wellness yesterday. I really wanted to try a different place, but my schedule and geographical constraints had me right in downtown Waltham all afternoon, so.

Rang bell without calling. It was like 90 degrees out and I figured nobody would be there. I was right.

Lily came down and let me in. She recognized me and handled my service.

Asked for hard, got hard. Room was great temp. Everything was very relaxing. Until.

At one point I asked her "no music? " because the street noise was kinda loud and she hadn't turned on the CD She thought I asked "not busy" and she said, "no, no busy". After a couple go-rounds with that, she realized I was asking about the music and turned it on. She giggled and said "sorry, english no good".

Little did I know that I was foreshadowing my own fate. Not 5 minutes later, another of y'all rang the bell. Here's what I don't get: Lily had to stop my massage and go put you into the other room, but then I heard her yelling for Jessica (yes, I think she's back, but not doing so much work herself). Lily comes back, but in another 10-15 minutes, the doorbell rings again. Lily is again the designated doorwoman. She comes back and apologizes (I don't know if there's a 3rd girl, or if monger #2 is now waiting for someone to finish). But now Lily is clearly in more of a rush. Her technique changed a tiny bit to more choppy movements, while still covering all the bases.

After toweling off my back with the bucket and a sandpaper-like rag, she again apologizes (probably for the lack of tease) and has me flip, and goes right into the HE.

To her credit, this part did not seem rushed, and she lifted her shirt and bra to expose the itty-bitties. At one point, she leaned over me and was kinda pretend-kissing my neck. Not sure if she was just taking a break, or experimenting with what turns me on, but I am definitely not a GFE person at an AMP!

Finally, she got the job done with a much better 2-handed technique, and she seemed very relieved (while I was only about a 7 out of 10 on the "relief" scale).

She again apologized and told me in extremely broken english that next time I come, I should see her and she will give me an extra 20 minutes after the end of my massage. I hope I remember to ask for it, and she understands when I do!

I still like their hard massages, and I always tip $40. I suppose if I do get 80 minutes next time it will make up for the interruptions this time. Amazingly, I actually did walk out almost exactly an hour after I first went in the room. So other than the 2 doorbells, I think I got most of my time.

One of these days I hope to try some places in Newton, Malden, Quincy and report but I've just been too darn busy.

Hope everyone has a happy, safe 4th of July weekend! I'll be out of town. Maybe I'll find an AMP in a new part of the state nobody's seen before! Be careful when shooting off your roman candle.

JP[/QUOTE]

Shok her,

Methinks you should pick up a copy of the Phoenix, call a few of the many ladies who advertise their services therein, go see one or two of them, write a few useful reports, then come back here to ask your good questions. "Where is Waltham Wellness?" is not a really good question and in any event questions are not the most desirable way for new Hobbyists such as your kind self to build credibility with the fellows who participate in the Forum.

Happy hunting,


BA



[QUOTE=Shok Her]Hi,

I was wondering where the Waltham Wellness place is? How can I reach them or just do a drop by?

Also how can I reach Stacey for an appt?

Thanks,

SJ[/QUOTE]

Was in the Lynnfield area and decided to visit. Easy to find location, right off the highway limited reviews and wasn't sure what to really expect. The best way to describe her, she's like your favorite aunt who shows up at the family barbeque your summer home from college with fruit salad and cookies my guess, late 60's, very homely. Massage was more of a random rub with no real technique, kind-of all over the place. Nice lady, plenty of chit-chat during, no draping. On the flip, there was some teasing, etc., however, for me at least, the view didn't justify taking the elevator to the top floor, so, I ignored respectively and headed off shortly thereafter. YMMV

[QUOTE=Boston Ampfan]Nothing on the calendar for the next little while so I will catch up on reports. Two weeks ago saw a CL ad for a place in Needham that promised "Satisfying" massage and featured a photo of a winsome young Asian lass standing provocatively in a doorway.

Don't quite know whether I should blame the word or the photo, but stupidity numbed my senses and as I was passing through the area I picked up the Blackberry and dialed the digits shown.

Lady was busy when I called, told me to report for massage session later in the afternoon. "Will it be Satisfying?," I asked. "You want massage, yes or no?" was her response. "Ummmmm.. yes, guess so," I said, "That is yes, no? Be here 4:30 o'clock!'

First, what is this odd streak of mine that has me set up with massage ladies who start our relationship by criticizing me? Was it something I said? Was it my fashionable attire, perhaps, or the pork pie hat I so jauntily wear when I leave the Old Manse for an afternoon of sport after I manage to get up on the right side of the bed and the meds have had a chance to kick in?

Be that as it may, but if I want a girl to push me around I'll marry one.... or perhaps one of my kind friends on this Forum can refer me to a young Asian woman with 36C bolt ons, big nipples and a paddle. (On second thought, this does seem rather appealing, does it not?)

Anyway, not to lose our train of thought: I showed up at the modest office building in Needham, and as I walked down the hall toward the door I considered what joy might await me there. A gentle knock and the door swings open. There to my disbelieving eyes stands my Grandmother! My Great Grand Mother in fact! If I were Asian, which I am not, that it what this lady would, could, might have been.

I looked around, noticed two or three doors. Grannie points me to a room, instructs me to prepare. I am still thinking that she is Mamma, responsible for managing the activities of a flock of gorgeous young women who were, even as I stripped, downstairs repositioning their breasts in their bright red satin brassieres so that their nipples would show as they bent over me to gently run their hands through my hair as I stared up at them, astonished at my good fortune in discovering such a paradise. But alas, Dear Reader, as you have intuited, this was not to be. It was indeed Grannie herself who proceeded to pour the oil on my back.

She did provide a nice massage. And toward the end, so help me, my distorted manly instincts took possession of my very soul and I pointed to Little Brother and said: "Will you satisfy him?" figuring that if I kept my eyes shut I could endure her ministrations while thinking of the girls downstairs. She started to do so, though with no detectable enthusiasm, and for a brief moment Little Brother began to twitch and rise to the occasion. Then I opened my eyes. From that point of view, with her face looming in the semi-darkness above me, she appeared far older than her years.

Thankfully, at that very moment, the loudest AMP timer in the history of the Hobby rang and I used that as my cue to jump up off the table, get dressed and get out. Fast, very fast.[/QUOTE]I was LMAO at your 2 reviews. It reminded me of my first time at an AMP. I had no idea of what to expect being very young at the time. I rang the bell and a very short, fat wrinkled up old lady at least in her 60s answered the door. I was shocked to think she was going to work on my body and I'm paying for this. I was young and much too polite to run away in her face so I bit the bullet and went in. Someone should have told me about mamasons, I didn't know. Anyway, A goddess came in to take care of me.

[QUOTE=Shok Her]Hi,

I was wondering where the Waltham Wellness place is? How can I reach them or just do a drop by?

Also how can I reach Stacey for an appt?

Thanks,

SJ[/QUOTE]

like call

like say is Stacey available, if not when.

then say OK I am Al Gore and will see her then.


How do you make a Dr's appointment?

[QUOTE=HappyDave]like call

like say is Stacey available, if not when.

then say OK I am Al Gore and will see her then.


How do you make a Dr's appointment?[/QUOTE]


Forgot, like google waltham wellness

Ok I had a pass to visit spa B in Norwood. I was warned that the quality has gone down some and maybe other places were better. I did take that into consideration but..I had a pass! I have to use it so I went on Wednesday 6/30 and didn't really know who to ask for since Chris was no longer there or at least hasn't been there. She was my favorite. I asked who was working and was given four names, I went pot luck and chose Rachael and said that I may have had her before if she was the petite girl with light hair..( just bluffing) but that was what I was in the mood for. The woman at the desk said close enough and so that's who I got. Rachael was young and talkative. She is cute, a little beefy with a decent set of C's and a bit of a thick booty. She apologized for not remembering me. "I have to treat you like you are new" Oh oh, to me that meant not familiar = not much!.. but unlike anything I've heard from a masseuse even though I know they sometimes think that. The actual massage was surprisingly good and her talkative nature was a plus because I chatted back in a way that I hoped would put her at ease enough so that she would feel comfortable with me. She felt comfy enough I guess to do a nude..(nude after begging) HJ but she said that next time maybe more as she insisted that it was the way she did things. So I did enjoy myself and she did come around but like a cliffhanger movie I have to come back for more and see what happens next. How much more will be offered? Nice HJ & touching allowed. tipped 50 because nude. I guess I'll have to return.

Please come by to see our new "Deanna's Thai Bodywork & Healing Therapy Wellness Center" We will help you heal, relax and relieve your pain or what Modality your body needs work on.

Located at 839 Broad Street

Jackson Square across from the Korean War Memorial Park

++

Advertise on CL therapeutic.

Decide to try today & be the 1st to review. Was greeted by Christy, was a very cute Thai spinner type paid for a 1/2 hour ($60) to start things out. During the massage on the floor got the 'you sexy'. 'you my favorite customer' act. Was very friendly and gave a marginal massage. During the time on my stomach, her fingernails hit the undercarriage, I was doing the ass-raise thing but she wasn't fondling the meat & berries. After about 25 minutes opted for the hour ($80) Allowed very limited roaming on legs over clothes. All the while I estimated I had a 50/50 shot at a HE. Time to 'Turn ovah'.

Legs were massaged the stress release valve covered by a towel. All of a sudden she says 'time up'. WTF! I tried my best to persuade her to finish me off. She wasn't having any of it. I basically told her if there was no HE, I wouldn't be making a 2nd trip. She said DIY. No way, I can do that for free. Waddled out a short time later with indigo balls. Final damage $80, no tip. Will not return.

[QUOTE=Boston Ampfan]
I showed up at the modest office building in Needham, and as I walked down the hall toward the door I considered what joy might await me there. A gentle knock and the door swings open. There to my disbelieving eyes stands my Grandmother! My Great Grand Mother in fact! If I were Asian, which I am not, that it what this lady would, could, might have been.
[/QUOTE]

BA - one of the funniest posts I have read, period. I bet we have all had a similar experience, given our pervy hobby. Here's my story...

I used to travel to SF alot on business. On one occasion I ended up on an early morning flight that got me to SF about 11am. Given that I had a dinner meeting, I decided to call up one of the MANY options available for outcall in the city. Unfortunately for me, I had two things working against me: 1) I was asking for a lady at 11am SF time, and 2) I had no good intel (like this forum) at the time to help me choose from the multitude of options in the yellow pages.

Despite my asking for a young, hot spinner type for my massage, I opened my hotel door to reveal a 70-year old asian woman who was right out of the scene from Happy Gilmore. I literally looked past her down the hallway thinking this was a big joke and my babydoll was hiding around the corner. No such luck. However, being young and very horny I decided to do the polite thing and invited Grandy Mamasan in.

What transpired from there is one of my worst nightmares. She gave me a bit of massage to break the ice and then launched right into a BBBJ after taking off her shirt (to reveal a set of rocks in a sock and a stomach that was wrinklier than an elephants ass). I closed my eyes imagining my hot spinner working on me, only to open my eyes to reveal the 70 year old deep throating me with wild abandon. After I finished (mercifully) she suggested that we 'nap and then make love when we wake up'. After I threw up in my mouth several times, I declined her very nice offer and suggested that she leave me so I could string a noose from the ceiling fan to end my shame.

Not my proudest moment. I have become wiser and more discerning in my selections since that experience, yet no less horny. The beat goes on.

Many years ago, before Al Gore invented the internet and one only had a choice between the yellow pages and the Phoenix, I responded to an ad for in-call in Lowell.

Well, she wasn't old, nor wrinkly, but she was homely to say the least, butt ugly to say the most. I pretended that I had left my wallet in the car, left went back out to my car and took off, as she watched from the apt. window.

Sorry, but if I'm paying for it, I'd better like what I see.

[QUOTE=Chase33]BA - one of the funniest posts I have read, period. I bet we have all had a similar experience, given our pervy hobby. Here's my story...

I used to travel to SF alot on business. On one occasion I ended up on an early morning flight that got me to SF about 11am. Given that I had a dinner meeting, I decided to call up one of the MANY options available for outcall in the city. Unfortunately for me, I had two things working against me: 1) I was asking for a lady at 11am SF time, and 2) I had no good intel (like this forum) at the time to help me choose from the multitude of options in the yellow pages.

Despite my asking for a young, hot spinner type for my massage, I opened my hotel door to reveal a 70-year old asian woman who was right out of the scene from Happy Gilmore. I literally looked past her down the hallway thinking this was a big joke and my babydoll was hiding around the corner. No such luck. However, being young and very horny I decided to do the polite thing and invited Grandy Mamasan in.

What transpired from there is one of my worst nightmares. She gave me a bit of massage to break the ice and then launched right into a BBBJ after taking off her shirt (to reveal a set of rocks in a sock and a stomach that was wrinklier than an elephants ass). I closed my eyes imagining my hot spinner working on me, only to open my eyes to reveal the 70 year old deep throating me with wild abandon. After I finished (mercifully) she suggested that we 'nap and then make love when we wake up'. After I threw up in my mouth several times, I declined her very nice offer and suggested that she leave me so I could string a noose from the ceiling fan to end my shame.

Not my proudest moment. I have become wiser and more discerning in my selections since that experience, yet no less horny. The beat goes on.[/QUOTE]

The title pretty much says it all.

I want to like Dragon Pearl, Broadway, South Boston, but my last two visits there have ended the same way; "OK, sir, all finished."

My first strikeout was on a Friday evening about 2 weeks ago with Johanna, an elfin pixie the all of 95 pounds. I found her abrupt ending puzzling, as she was the first provider I saw at DP when they opened last September. With about ten minutes left of my session (last September), she rather forwardly grabbed my junk and just said "you want this?" As this was in my pre-USASG days, I politely declined. Derrrrr. Subsequent visits with other providers ended much differently, thanks to this board and what I learned. Johanna reports that she "only works Friday and Saturday nights." And now I see why.

My second strikeout occurred this morning, with Mei, who, for the record, gave me the best massage of my life. Alas, it also ended with "OK, sir, all finished." Have they gone legit? Is it a YMMV thing? I do not think I give off the leo-vibe, and I did make it clear that I had been there before. I will give Mei another try to see if familiarity is a factor; stay tuned.