"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=MeowLuvStoroar;2194342]As for the very nice looking women not wanting anything from you but still on sugar daddy sites LOL, either you found yourself a unicorn or someone who can play the game better and have more patience for the bigger reward and probably want to settle down to be taken care of for life with a "real" relationship with a gentleman they met on a sugardaddy site.[/QUOTE]I assume you're a female (seemingly an older one who aspires to be an SB) here to share your perspective, and there's no reason you shouldn't be able to, but remember your perspective is of limited use if your purpose is to try to convince anyone to think along the same lines, because you're only peering through a single pair of female eyes whereas the collective experience of the SD's here brings the perspective of experience with hundreds, or probably thousands of SBs, not just one.

I'm not saying that most of the girls on an SB site don't have a financial motive, most of them surely do. But as I've written before there probably aren't many females on the planet that don't prefer a wealthy man to a poor one. Some of them do have a genuine attraction to older men, some maybe wouldn't go near someone twice their age unless there's money on the table, and some of them are as you said just fundamentally gold diggers that have very ambitious long-term plans. Some of them are plain old backpage or CL girls that have delusions of grandeur and want to pass themselves off as a true SB.

They are all out for something. Not necessarily cash payment though. All women are out for something, even in the civy dating world.

As far is how is it fair for an SD that's married to have an exclusive SB, well it becomes fair the moment the SB decides its the right arrangement for her and she signs up for it. If she feels it's not fair, its up to her to make that decision BEFORE agreeing to exclusivity. Fairness is defined by doing what you said you would do and sticking to your agreement. It has nothing to do with the terms of the agreement itself.

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2194639]I assume you're a female (seemingly an older one who aspires to be an SB) here to share your perspective, and there's no reason you shouldn't be able to, but remember your perspective is of limited use if your purpose is to try to convince anyone to think along the same lines, because you're only peering through a single pair of female eyes whereas the collective experience of the SD's here brings the perspective of experience with hundreds, or probably thousands of SBs, not just one.

I'm not saying that most of the girls on an SB site don't have a financial motive, most of them surely do. But as I've written before there probably aren't many females on the planet that don't prefer a wealthy man to a poor one. Some of them do have a genuine attraction to older men, some maybe wouldn't go near someone twice their age unless there's money on the table, and some of them are as you said just fundamentally gold diggers that have very ambitious long-term plans. Some of them are plain old backpage or CL girls that have delusions of grandeur and want to pass themselves off as a true SB.

They are all out for something. Not necessarily cash payment though. All women are out for something, even in the civy dating world.

As far is how is it fair for an SD that's married to have an exclusive SB, well it becomes fair the moment the SB decides its the right arrangement for her and she signs up for it. If she feels it's not fair, its up to her to make that decision BEFORE agreeing to exclusivity. Fairness is defined by doing what you said you would do and sticking to your agreement. It has nothing to do with the terms of the agreement itself.[/QUOTE]I'm 25 years old, so I would be older than the 19 to 22 yr olds LOL.

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2194639]I assume you're a female (seemingly an older one who aspires to be an SB) here to share your perspective, and there's no reason you shouldn't be able to, but remember your perspective is of limited use if your purpose is to try to convince anyone to think along the same lines, because you're only peering through a single pair of female eyes whereas the collective experience of the SD's here brings the perspective of experience with hundreds, or probably thousands of SBs, not just one.

I'm not saying that most of the girls on an SB site don't have a financial motive, most of them surely do. But as I've written before there probably aren't many females on the planet that don't prefer a wealthy man to a poor one. Some of them do have a genuine attraction to older men, some maybe wouldn't go near someone twice their age unless there's money on the table, and some of them are as you said just fundamentally gold diggers that have very ambitious long-term plans. Some of them are plain old backpage or CL girls that have delusions of grandeur and want to pass themselves off as a true SB.

They are all out for something. Not necessarily cash payment though. All women are out for something, even in the civy dating world.

As far is how is it fair for an SD that's married to have an exclusive SB, well it becomes fair the moment the SB decides its the right arrangement for her and she signs up for it. If she feels it's not fair, its up to her to make that decision BEFORE agreeing to exclusivity. Fairness is defined by doing what you said you would do and sticking to your agreement. It has nothing to do with the terms of the agreement itself.[/QUOTE]Unfortunately the assumption of me is incorrect. I am a 25 year old woman, who escorts twice a month, have been an SB before and fulltime works for an employer I've been with since 18. I have no purpose here, I just find this topic rather fascinating. No convincing just sharing and giving my opinion since I am a chameleon and have blended in all sorts of scenarios. I don't claim to be a guru of the opposite sex no more than a guy claiming to know how we work, especially in this realm. Neither party can put themselves in the others shoes. We are all (both male and female) different and our reasons will not always be the same as others, for what and why we do what we do.

About the fairness, I agree if both parties communicate the way most real adults communicate. You maybe a true SD but like I've stated before most of what I've been reading sounds more like T mentality rather than a man who appreciates the quality of one maybe two SB's. In a perfect world both parties could truly trust each other and have a phenomenal time and both parties would not feel like they're in a numbers game and need blogs to help them get over on one another. No one likes a selfish person period. I remain optimistic that there are people who just want a great time with out the headaches I read about on both sides LOL.

[QUOTE=MeowLuvStoroar;2194342] As far as exclusivity if both parties communicate the way they should, no one will feel the situation as unfair, but I do find it somewhat comical if a "SD" is asking for that yet they have a wife or serious girlfriend. [/QUOTE]That certainly is strange. Do as I say, not as I do.

[QUOTE=MeowLuvStoroar;2194654]I'm 25 years old, so I would be older than the 19 to 22 yr olds LOL.[/QUOTE]I welcome the presence of a woman to get the perspective from your POV. You have Sb and UTR / Pro experience so you can bring a lot to the table. What ever happened to Mandy from a year or two ago?

Thanks to FredMoore!! I posted a couple of weeks (1st post) ago asking for input on the escort v SB conundrum. Got several several good responses both on the board and via PM. Thanks guys.

But, especial thanks to Fred for the suggestion that I inquire of my ATF what it would take to make her mine. Well, she's agreed for the cost of an apartment. One helluva bargain in relation to what I've been spending and I can get the apartment month-to-month. What's to lose?

Thanks again, Fred.

[QUOTE=MeowLuvStoroar;2194699]Unfortunately the assumption of me is incorrect. I am a 25 year old woman, who escorts twice a month, have been an SB before and fulltime works for an employer I've been with since 18. I have no purpose here, I just find this topic rather fascinating. No convincing just sharing and giving my opinion since I am a chameleon and have blended in all sorts of scenarios. I don't claim to be a guru of the opposite sex no more than a guy claiming to know how we work, especially in this realm. Neither party can put themselves in the others shoes. We are all (both male and female) different and our reasons will not always be the same as others, for what and why we do what we do.

About the fairness, I agree if both parties communicate the way most real adults communicate. You maybe a true SD but like I've stated before most of what I've been reading sounds more like T mentality rather than a man who appreciates the quality of one maybe two SB's. In a perfect world both parties could truly trust each other and have a phenomenal time and both parties would not feel like they're in a numbers game and need blogs to help them get over on one another. No one likes a selfish person period. I remain optimistic that there are people who just want a great time with out the headaches I read about on both sides LOL.[/QUOTE]Well first, I've never called myself a "true" SD, I'm only a part-timer and I am not in a position to offer long-term support. But the girls I go for are "true" SBs in the sense that that's who they are and what they are looking for. Sometimes I meet girls that aren't really true SBs by nature, but choose to bang them anyway. Welcome to the bowl. As I said, a fair agreement is when both sides are happy with the terms. If either party claims to be exclusive and breaks that commitment, fairness of the arrangement has been breached. As far as one man having many women, well it all comes down to what an individual can afford. If a cougar sugarmomma can afford lots of young cubs, and the tables are turned and she asks them for exclusivity but reserves the right to have a husband and multiple boyfriends, I would say the same thing.

Again, fairness is defined by integrity in both thinking about the terms of arrangement before agreeing to it, and sticking to your word after signing up. Nothing else. Its the same in business or in love.

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2195066]I welcome the presence of a woman to get the perspective from your POV. You have Sb and UTR / Pro experience so you can bring a lot to the table. What ever happened to Mandy from a year or two ago?[/QUOTE]Thank you Fred.

[QUOTE=RiverGriz;2195135]Thanks to FredMoore!! I posted a couple of weeks (1st post) ago asking for input on the escort v SB conundrum. Got several several good responses both on the board and via PM. Thanks guys.

But, especial thanks to Fred for the suggestion that I inquire of my ATF what it would take to make her mine. Well, she's agreed for the cost of an apartment. One helluva bargain in relation to what I've been spending and I can get the apartment month-to-month. What's to lose?

Thanks again, Fred.[/QUOTE]Congratulations! Of course be circumspect about her monogamy if that is your goal. Now she has a pad that she can entertain other gents in. Not all girls are greedy but it might be too tempting to make a few extra bucks along the way. Make sure and set the ground rules re: your expectations. As JL said earlier, honesty is the best policy. If you are expecting monogamy and she agrees to it, then that should be it. OTOH, you are saving money and happy with the arrangement, so be optimistic that she will honor it.

My SB has set us up again for Thursday with her girlfriend, who is "not in it for the money, just looking for an adventure". The girl is 20 something and hot judging from the pictures I have seen. As some of you recall, she (my SB) flaked when we were set up a couple weeks ago, claiming her phone was being shut off. I think this is more solid, but I ain't count any chickens yet.

I made a new profile on SD4M specifically asking for "very submissive" girls only. I am not contacting anyone and just waiting for them to hit me up first. This does cut way down on the number of responses, but hopefully they are sincere.

Here was a recent exchange.

HER: Hey. My name is (anonymous). I am 19 years of age. If you're interested in getting to know more about me, don't be afraid to contact me.

ME: I am looking for a very submissive girl that knows how to please her daddy or is willing to learn. Is that you?

HER: Yes I am willing to learn. I've never had a sugar daddy, hopefully you'll be my first.

ME: Then we should meet up. Whats your number?

Gives me her number.

Some minor txting after that. Then went on the M&G the next day (today). I met her in a strip mall parking lot. She pulls up in a new car, she was very well groomed, a bit thick (thicker than her pics), but oh well. We just talked in my car. She wanted to know what being a sugar baby was. I told her we would chill in the FC and that I would teach her how to please me and that I would please her in return. And not to worry about her inexperience. That I would teach her how to feel like a woman and be confident with any man in the future. She wanted to know if she could come by after work tomorrow.

My regular profile is geared more towards things of a sexual nature but not necessarily being submissive. It does attract a lot of submissive girls but not always. The new profile is very clear, very submissive only need apply. So far I am still in the M&G stage on that one. But it is getting some responses. The girl today was an NP first timer. The next one in line is an admitted UTR girl, but if she really is submissive, I dont give a shit. Some of the best sex I have had is from submissive UTR's.

Since work has slowed a little due to the holiday I am going to force myself to do as many M & G's as I can the next few days. At least one a day. The last 2 girls I clicked with both live far away and can't really see me that much. It's a good thing and a bad thing. You really got to have some tenacity to stay in this game.

here is tonites M&G. 5' 1" 105 23

[QUOTE=HollywoodGuy;2197914]Since work has slowed a little due to the holiday I am going to force myself to do as many M & G's as I can the next few days. At least one a day. The last 2 girls I clicked with both live far away and can't really see me that much. It's a good thing and a bad thing. You really got to have some tenacity to stay in this game.[/QUOTE]I couldn't do it full time, even if I had infinite money. One of the things I always liked about civy dating is that every now and then you find a keeper that you want to date for many weeks, months or maybe longer. This makes dating feel more like a cyclical event, so you don't just feel constantly only the hunt, you get to take time off from the hunt, shut down the website profiles, ignore emails etc. Most of the girls I met, excluding the occasional one night stand, probably had about a 1-2 month cycle on average (the amount of time it took for us to either get tired of each other or something else to go sideways). I used to think sexual variety was everything, but for about a year I had a girlfriend that still stands out in my mind of some of the best sex I've ever had -- consistently, week after week, never got tired of each other things didn't work out for other reasons.

Working the SB scene feels like a grind to me. It's a lot of work, and the rewards can be great but there's still a massive work-to-reward ratio. It's fun once and a while but the sheer amount of effort it takes would burn me out. Best way to describe it is like vacation travel -- it's stressful but fun at the same time, it's worth it because of the change of scenery. The excitement of mixing up the routine temporarily makes living out of a suitcase, etc. Worthwhile. But, if I had to travel all the time and live out of a suitcase week to week, I don't think I could do it.

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2197928]I couldn't do it full time, even if I had infinite money. One of the things I always liked about civy dating is that every now and then you find a keeper that you want to date for many weeks, months or maybe longer. This makes dating feel more like a cyclical event, so you don't just feel constantly only the hunt, you get to take time off from the hunt, shut down the website profiles, ignore emails etc. Most of the girls I met, excluding the occasional one night stand, probably had about a 1-2 month cycle on average (the amount of time it took for us to either get tired of each other or something else to go sideways). I used to think sexual variety was everything, but for about a year I had a girlfriend that still stands out in my mind of some of the best sex I've ever had -- consistently, week after week, never got tired of each other things didn't work out for other reasons.

Working the SB scene feels like a grind to me. It's a lot of work, and the rewards can be great but there's still a massive work-to-reward ratio. It's fun once and a while but the sheer amount of effort it takes would burn me out. Best way to describe it is like vacation travel -- it's stressful but fun at the same time, it's worth it because of the change of scenery. The excitement of mixing up the routine temporarily makes living out of a suitcase, etc. Worthwhile. But, if I had to travel all the time and live out of a suitcase week to week, I don't think I could do it.[/QUOTE]This is my only entertainment outside of work. Not into drugs or drinking. Don't really have any outside interests, hobbies or friends (all by choice). If I wasn't chasing girls I would just be watching TV. So for me its this or be bored. And I never seem to get bored of pussy. New or old as long as its tasty, wet and tight (and does what its told). I don't do the marraige, SO or GF thing so well either (they always have rules). This truly is my life.

[QUOTE=HollywoodGuy;2197955]This is my only entertainment outside of work. Not into drugs or drinking. Don't really have any outside interests, hobbies or friends (all by choice). If I wasn't chasing girls I would just be watching TV. So for me its this or be bored. And I never seem to get bored of pussy. New or old as long as its tasty, wet and tight (and does what its told). I don't do the marraige, SO or GF thing so well either (they always have rules). This truly is my life.[/QUOTE]As long as the rewards make the work worthwhile, I'd say keep doing what you're doing.