"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=GBL86;2125509]Hey Gang,

Another noob here, dipping my toes into the sugar pool. Like most of y'all I'm married too, which can be somewhat limiting at times. Have identified a few POTs and have been exchanging emails lately. Biggest issue I've learned recently is finding a place to play. All POTs I've been emailing have gone nearly radio silent when I ask them if they have their own place. I've even tried to qualify my question with logic (I know. Stop laughing! Saying that hotel costs will negatively impact the level of support I can provide to them. So would like to know a couple of things:

1. What's the best way to broach this subject with a POT without turning them off?

2. What are you other married guys doing as far as a FC?

I think it was Billy Crystal who once said "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place". So true.[/QUOTE]The easiest solution is a cheap hotel / motel (preferably one that you can pay cash for). As long as there are no roaches or bedbugs, that is.

[QUOTE=GBL86;2125509]Hey Gang,

Another noob here, dipping my toes into the sugar pool. Like most of y'all I'm married too, which can be somewhat limiting at times. Have identified a few POTs and have been exchanging emails lately. Biggest issue I've learned recently is finding a place to play. All POTs I've been emailing have gone nearly radio silent when I ask them if they have their own place. I've even tried to qualify my question with logic (I know. Stop laughing! Saying that hotel costs will negatively impact the level of support I can provide to them. So would like to know a couple of things:

1. What's the best way to broach this subject with a POT without turning them off?

2. What are you other married guys doing as far as a FC?

I think it was Billy Crystal who once said "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place". So true.[/QUOTE]1. Just be straight with them about what you're looking for and understand that you will most likely only be able to land UTRs with that strategy. A real SB would never bring you to her home on the first encounter, and she's going to assume that if you're too cheap to get a hotel you're too cheap to be a reliable SD. Some of them will warm up to the idea of bringing you to their place over time, but pulling it off on the first encounter really reveals her as a UTR rather than a true SB. Maybe sometimes that's a good thing but you would probably have better luck pulling UTRs off CL.

2. I'm not married but have a live in GF so I always do a hotel and never in the city I live in.

[QUOTE=GBL86;2125509]Hey Gang,

Another noob here, dipping my toes into the sugar pool. Like most of y'all I'm married too, which can be somewhat limiting at times. Have identified a few POTs and have been exchanging emails lately. Biggest issue I've learned recently is finding a place to play. All POTs I've been emailing have gone nearly radio silent when I ask them if they have their own place. I've even tried to qualify my question with logic (I know. Stop laughing! Saying that hotel costs will negatively impact the level of support I can provide to them. So would like to know a couple of things:

1. What's the best way to broach this subject with a POT without turning them off?

2. What are you other married guys doing as far as a FC?

I think it was Billy Crystal who once said "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place". So true.[/QUOTE]Since my budget is lower these days I have told the SB Pots that I Like to relax in a nice home environment and prefer their place if they live alone, once they are comfortable with me. I want them to get the extra money instead of the Hotel chain. They will think about the extra money, so factor that into your offer. Most will not like it but I have had success there.

Case in point: With one of my ATFs I went out of town to meet her for dinner. The understanding was we would go to the FC all night if we felt a connection. She was OK with her home but friends talked her out of it and she required a hotel the 1st visit. After dinner I asked if she wanted to spend some quiet time together and she said yes, so I told her that I was stepping out to make a reservation. She said not to worry and she felt safe to invite me to her home. And home we went.

Married FC: usually means a hotel. I always pick a dirt cheap one since you will only be spending a few hours together. One of my SBs likes public / car sex but I will not do that. I'm too old and can't be caught on a public indecency rap.

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2125375]I've got the kind of frame that I can put on 35 lbs before anyone says "have you gained a few pounds?" But I learned a great deal about the benefits of staying as fit as possible as we get older.

When I first split up from my ex-wife I would go out hunting women at my "married" weight (about 20 lbs over ideal). No problems really. But then experimentally I got back into fitness and healthy eating more heavily and I realized something. Whatever your current success is with women, it is magnified as you approach your ideal weight (more on that later), meaning you will realize the benefits of (1) more encounters, (2) better sex from those encounters, or (3) just better looking women or (4) all of the above as you approach your ideal weight or fitness level.

What I thought was "good enough" (my married weight) probably was, but after I saw what was possible after I got serious about going to the gym again there was no turning back.

I doubt many SBs care about six pack abs or any other notion of perfect looks that someone might have, because in an SD the competition is other guys of same age, we aren't competing with 21 year old guys' physique any more than they can compete with our career success (the latter being more attractive to the SB anyway). But, it's also good to point out that the closer you can get to looking young (however it is, and for many people that means not gaining too much weight) then it will only benefit you in bed. We perform better, we fuck more vigorously, our cock gets harder, our stamina and energy are better, etc. And sex is even more enjoyable when we are fit.

So, that's the real reason for hitting the gym as a SD I think. That and simply living longer, avoiding injuries and stress on our body and immune system that occurs from being overweight. Anything that stresses our immune system increases our risk of cancer and of course increased susceptibility to STDs etc. , so the healthier we are the better we can fuck them. We are not going to have much fun in the bowl if we are laid up with late stage cancer because we ate too many refined sugar products.

I mentioned I would come back to "ideal weight". By that I just mean the weight at which we look our best. For me that usually means "as thin as I can get", because I find gaining weight too easy and staying the same weight I was in college is much more challenging. For those who are more thin than average then maybe gaining a few pounds is beneficial (as long as it doesn't get to the point of slowing you down in bed).

I can't remember the last time I was "too thin" so I just strive for the lowest weight I can achieve -- I also lift weights, not to try to get bigger, but because I want to delay muscle atrophy as much as possible (muscle atrophy more than any other feature of aging really will make a person look old, and if we don't use our muscles we lose them). Also lifting weights boosts our natural testosterone levels, which makes us hornier and just generally feeling younger than we are.

I think I've successfully tricked my body into maintaining very close to my ideal weight even when I don't work out, as long as I don't slip back into careless eating habits. But even still, when I do work out everything is just so much better, more enjoyable.[/QUOTE]You hit so many important points dead center I won't try to list them. Being tall had allowed me to carry too much extra weight that, while not visually impairing, was physically taxing me in more ways than I understood at the time. The day my marriage ended I was diagnosed with skin cancer and had a heart attack that afternoon while visiting my Cardiologist for a previously made appointment. All in all, not a good day. However, since that time I have gone on to regain my health physically and the benefits have extended to my emotional and sexual well being too.

When I first started trying the SD / SB life, I offered over the top compensation to SBs because I assumed my age would be such a turn off to young women. Reading posts from you, HollywoodGuy, and others made me realize that our age, not just our money, can be the selling point. Being in good shape and good health just seals the deal.

So back to sending out emails and getting responses from most. I tend to search SA for most recent users and email those actively online. Had a few on the hook, but reeled in a 23 year old 5'7" average build girl with nice tits, super pretty face. She immediately went to the "how much do you pay" during texting. We agreed to meet and go straight to the room.

She was the classic girl with piercings, tats and all that scene going on, but she was also very sweet and shy, shy, shy. There was no question we were to have sex, we had openly texted and discussed it. But with this girl, I could just not get my overall mojo going. Finally I started kissing and she was hesitant some, we went to the bed, I took off her clothing, I complimented her body, it was nice. Her face a solid 9, body a solid 8. I tried kissing her, she was not into it much, tried kissing her neck, body, no reaction, she just smiled. Finally DATY and this is one activity I seriously pride myself with. Each girl is always different and I have developed a knack for really reading their cues and almost always guide them to screaming O's this way and than the rest of all the fucking usually is them asking, or even begging for it. Well this one, wiggled around non stop. She was rocking her hips, moving sideway, up and down etc. Finally I just asked how she liked it and she just kept saying, "you're fine, I like it" whatever, I could not find a rhythm or angle to get this girl into it. Finally I lay back down by her, gave up on the kissing etc. She asked if I wanted to have sex now. I jumped up on top and she asks if I had a rubber, (I don't even bring them to the sugar bowl, I do not fuck in the bowl with a cover. If I feel she is not fuckable without a rubber, in the sugar bowl, it's just not happening then) I stop and we talk a bit, I tell her I'll pull out, she rambles on about safe sex. Finally she agrees if I pull out, she will fuck me. I get back on top and slide it in and she does that hip, leg lock thing girls do that prevent you from going in deep. She turns her head sideways and moans a little, but not much. I pump away, finally working her leg lock off me and get in deeper and she begins to get into it. I think finally Houston, we have a sign of life!

After ten minutes or so we switch to doggie and I finish on her ass. Nice view. She was super sweet and shy as she was before sex. Next day I text her and initiate a response from her about why she was not really into it and what I might do to improve the situation. She shoots back a long text about not liking close intimacy and she views sex as just getting off and she wants to see me again, but she does not want "sensual" sex and would rather hangout and than just get each other off. OK, fine, but seriously, most women want some level of sensuality even if it is fake.

The moral here, is these girls are great, but most are kind of fucked up in some capacity or another. By the time my sugar bowl career is over, I'll probably be a shrink.

[QUOTE=DirtyDeeds38;2126109]So back to sending out emails and getting responses from most. I tend to search SA for most recent users and email those actively online. Had a few on the hook, but reeled in a 23 year old 5'7" average build girl with nice tits, super pretty face. She immediately went to the "how much do you pay" during texting. We agreed to meet and go straight to the room.

She was the classic girl with piercings, tats and all that scene going on, but she was also very sweet and shy, shy, shy. There was no question we were to have sex, we had openly texted and discussed it. But with this girl, I could just not get my overall mojo going. Finally I started kissing and she was hesitant some, we went to the bed, I took off her clothing, I complimented her body, it was nice. Her face a solid 9, body a solid 8. I tried kissing her, she was not into it much, tried kissing her neck, body, no reaction, she just smiled. Finally DATY and this is one activity I seriously pride myself with. Each girl is always different and I have developed a knack for really reading their cues and almost always guide them to screaming O's this way and than the rest of all the fucking usually is them asking, or even begging for it. Well this one, wiggled around non stop. She was rocking her hips, moving sideway, up and down etc. Finally I just asked how she liked it and she just kept saying, "you're fine, I like it" whatever, I could not find a rhythm or angle to get this girl into it. Finally I lay back down by her, gave up on the kissing etc. She asked if I wanted to have sex now. I jumped up on top and she asks if I had a rubber, (I don't even bring them to the sugar bowl, I do not fuck in the bowl with a cover. If I feel she is not fuckable without a rubber, in the sugar bowl, it's just not happening then) I stop and we talk a bit, I tell her I'll pull out, she rambles on about safe sex. Finally she agrees if I pull out, she will fuck me. I get back on top and slide it in and she does that hip, leg lock thing girls do that prevent you from going in deep. She turns her head sideways and moans a little, but not much. I pump away, finally working her leg lock off me and get in deeper and she begins to get into it. I think finally Houston, we have a sign of life!

After ten minutes or so we switch to doggie and I finish on her ass. Nice view. She was super sweet and shy as she was before sex. Next day I text her and initiate a response from her about why she was not really into it and what I might do to improve the situation. She shoots back a long text about not liking close intimacy and she views sex as just getting off and she wants to see me again, but she does not want "sensual" sex and would rather hangout and than just get each other off. OK, fine, but seriously, most women want some level of sensuality even if it is fake.

The moral here, is these girls are great, but most are kind of fucked up in some capacity or another. By the time my sugar bowl career is over, I'll probably be a shrink.[/QUOTE]Sounds like a pass. Keep looking.

[QUOTE=DirtyDeeds38;2126109]She shoots back a long text about not liking close intimacy and she views sex as just getting off and she wants to see me again, but she does not want "sensual" sex and would rather hangout and than just get each other off. OK, fine, but seriously, most women want some level of sensuality even if it is fake.
[/QUOTE]Actually with enough time, you'll encounter quite a few girls who don't want "sensual" sex, they just want you to fuck them hard and then be done with it. Sometimes it's a sign that they're a PRO or UTR, but there other reasons as well. They may have a husband / boyfriend or "special someone" who they are only sensual with. It's how they compartmentalize. They figure it's not really cheating if it's not sensual sex. Another reason is that they just might not be attracted to you. I've had this happen before where the girl thought I was passable to fuck, but later revealed I wasn't really her type. She was fine with and enjoyed "getting off" with me, but not on a romantic level, just pure physical. Like a "friends with benefits" or "fuck buddy" in the purest sense. Girls these days like to have a lot of sex, but they also like to put you in a particular labeled box in order to justify or make sense of their sexual activity.

And finally some girls simply just like aggressive sex. They like it fast and hard with minimal oral and just pure fucking usually accompanied with tons of dirty / degrading talk. That's why if I can, try to figure out roughly what style of sex the girl is predisposed to. I can modify my style for the situation, but I tend to be more at ease with "sensual sex" and I tend to be a little bit out of my element if the girl wants it very rough with abusive talk. So for long-term SBs, I prefer a girl who is more sensual, but for short-term or BCs, it doesn't really matter since part of the fun with the Sugar Bowl is the different experiences and experimenting with different persona's.

Friends.

I am in dilemma. I met POT who is beautiful and my dream type. I could find all her info and she had 1 SD before. Also I confirmed identify as she told me. But she wants to know about my real name that she can verify. What should I do? How should I handle it? She want to verify me before going to next level.

Help me here. Should I or should I not reveal my real name. My small head is saying let's go and share. But big brain is telling me be careful.

Please advise.

[QUOTE=KingGreg;2126352]Friends.

I am in dilemma. I met POT who is beautiful and my dream type. I could find all her info and she had 1 SD before. Also I confirmed identify as she told me. But she wants to know about my real name that she can verify. What should I do? How should I handle it? She want to verify me before going to next level.

Help me here. Should I or should I not reveal my real name. My small head is saying let's go and share. But big brain is telling me be careful.

Please advise.[/QUOTE]IMHO.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

1. You have the cash that she needs, that means you make the rules.

2. You have no basis for a trusting relationship w this woman; she needs to earn your trust because rule 1.

3. Unless you are going to marry her, no woman is worth risking the other parts of your life.

4. No matter how hot she is, see rules 1-3.

[QUOTE=Tidad;2126385]IMHO.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

1. You have the cash that she needs, that means you make the rules.

2. You have no basis for a trusting relationship w this woman; she needs to earn your trust because rule 1.

3. Unless you are going to marry her, no woman is worth risking the other parts of your life.

4. No matter how hot she is, see rules 1-3.[/QUOTE]Thanks Bro. ! I need to control my little brain here. ! I am not taking the chance even though I could dream of this girl. I had M&G with her. Yesterday and boy o boy she is hot. Like a model.

After a very successful start I chalk up to beginners luck, I've ran into some real lack lusters lately, but this one takes the cake. Emailed a girl on SA a week or so ago, she send one back tonight just as I'm about to call it a night. She wants to meet. She's only 25 miles away from me so I figure what the heck. We text back and forth and I was very specific with details. She agrees to them and confirmed she was "very open minded" and had no issues with being intimate. She even said since she only had a few hours, we could just mess around in the car. (she lives in a rural area.) So I pick her up at he corner store by her house. She is hot. A solid 8, super petite, blonde spinner. She is another one of these girls with tats and piercings, so 'm already red flagged about this one. We drive and she tells me where we can go park. I'm thinking out in the bushes someplace private. Well she guides me to freaking Walmart. So I started figuring out she was not going to be messing around. So due to the time limits, I just come out with it and cut right to the chase and ask her if she was still open for sex like we discussed over texting. She plays dumb, like she is confused and she just thought we were meeting for talking in the car. Than she start looking at her phone and saying she needs to be home soon. Literally ten minutes after I pick her up. I said, fine, I'll take you home and tell her again that I did not feel the agreed amount was warranted as we did nothing. She starts in with how a SD has to prove himself and should pay the girl before sex and so on. We drove back to the area I picked her up and she is acting like she is kinda pissed. So to avoid a problem, I pull out my wallet and offer up half of the $ $ we agreed on over texting. I did this to avoid any issues. She offers me a hug and jumps out. She was in my car all of 19 minutes.

I had no intentions of seeing this girl again, but I text her just to call her bluff. Sure enough she ignores me and half hour later she's back on SA.

I was mostly mad at myself and for the time wasted, not the $ I was out.

[QUOTE=KingGreg;2126352]Friends.

I am in dilemma. I met POT who is beautiful and my dream type. I could find all her info and she had 1 SD before. Also I confirmed identify as she told me. But she wants to know about my real name that she can verify. What should I do? How should I handle it? She want to verify me before going to next level.

Help me here. Should I or should I not reveal my real name. My small head is saying let's go and share. But big brain is telling me be careful.

Please advise.[/QUOTE]If you are married or have career risks on the table I would probably pass on her. If you're single with less to lose then why not? Most of the married SDs probably won't give her their real name, so it will give you the edge over the competition. Is she forthcoming with her own real info? I've found many of them are. If she gave you all the info on herself, then you can't really blame her for expecting the same from you. We aren't playing fairly in the bowl if we expect them to be honest with us without us needing to reciprocate.

What exactly is she trying to "verify"? Ask her specifically, is she just trying to "research you" because she wants to know? If so, you can politely remind her that you're not planning on doing any unreasonable research into her private life, because the type of arrangement you're looking for does not require this. If she says the type of arrangement she's looking for does, then pin her down on specifics. If she's being too much of a pain in the ass, then you already have reason to pass on her because she will be a much bigger pain in the ass later on.

I will tell you that the most impressive SB I ever banged had some interesting opinions. She never pryed about my last name or whatever, but she mentioned more than once about how she absolutely hated married guys and that was her biggest peeve with meeting guys so far. I didn't want to get into a debate so I didn't bother to mention that most daddies are married, so she's playing with losing odds. Maybe she was trying to get me to tell more about my situation, who knows. I never told her about my girlfriend because I didn't want to screw up a perfect evening, plus I knew I wouldn't see her again and it wouldn't matter anyway.

Just tell her you are a private person and you reveal yourself to people after you know them better.

If you are married just tell her you are. Many don't care, and if that's the part she was planning to "verify" then it makes the rest of it easier.

[QUOTE=JeezLizard;2126442]
What exactly is she trying to "verify"? Ask her specifically, is she just trying to "research you" because she wants to know? If so, you can politely remind her that you're not planning on doing any unreasonable research into her private life, because the type of arrangement you're looking for does not require this. If she says the type of arrangement she's looking for does, then pin her down on specifics. If she's being too much of a pain in the ass, then you already have reason to pass on her because she will be a much bigger pain in the ass later on.
.[/QUOTE]Here is what she texted me.

This is a big deal for me. I want to be able to google you and your name and face show up. That's all I want.

Hahaha yes. You can find me on google. I think my twitter is the first link. But can I still verify you?

Then.

This is a big deal for me. I want to be able to google you and your name and face show up. That's all I want.

Before I drive an hour for a police sting.

She kept on going and finally says, All I want to see is a work bio. I won't google anything else. I'm not asking for much.

[QUOTE=KingGreg;2126452]Here is what she texted me.

This is a big deal for me. I want to be able to google you and your name and face show up. That's all I want.

Hahaha yes. You can find me on google. I think my twitter is the first link. But can I still verify you?

Then.

This is a big deal for me. I want to be able to google you and your name and face show up. That's all I want.

Before I drive an hour for a police sting.

She kept on going and finally says, All I want to see is a work bio. I won't google anything else. I'm not asking for much.[/QUOTE]I had some girl driving me crazy for pics last week. I always send a few (accurate and easy to see what I look like). Not good enough for her. After about 40 txts I told her to leave me alone.

[QUOTE=KingGreg;2126452]Here is what she texted me.

This is a big deal for me. I want to be able to google you and your name and face show up. That's all I want.

Hahaha yes. You can find me on google. I think my twitter is the first link. But can I still verify you?

Then.

This is a big deal for me. I want to be able to google you and your name and face show up. That's all I want.

Before I drive an hour for a police sting.

She kept on going and finally says, All I want to see is a work bio. I won't google anything else. I'm not asking for much.[/QUOTE]Work bio? Absolutely not. Your employment information plus a printout of the texts exchanged are enough for her to bleed you dry. She could easily threaten you w / [URL]www.exposingjohns.com[/URL] or something of the like. It doesn't even have to be her plan right now, if you have a falling out in the future do you believe she has more to lose than you do? Does it matter? There's enough trouble in this world, don't go looking for it. Walk away. If she comes a round to some reasonable expectations then have fun, if not there are always more hot chicks.