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Well. Its only a problem when it starts negatively impacting your life. Like this lifestyle as a broke as digital nomad isn't ideal.
Could always just actually get good at game and pick up girls, but sex as a service will still always have a place in my heart or pants.
[QUOTE=Panyapinyaya;4624770]Well. Its only a problem when it starts negatively impacting your life. Like this lifestyle as a broke as digital nomad isn't ideal.
Could always just actually get good at game and pick up girls, but sex as a service will still always have a place in my heart or pants.[/QUOTE]I mean seriously, is it really that bad being addicted to something that feels so good? I actually think people not addicted are missing out LOL.
Title says it all. PM for details!
[QUOTE=DjHunter;4014241]I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years. There were periods during those years where I was insanely active. Paying for extras at strip clubs, dating escorts on Craigslist and Backpage, making rounds on the street, just going wherever I could get my nut off. At a certain point in that time I decided to propose to the girl I'd been dating on and off for a few years. I thought that'd be the changing moment. I actually fucked who I'd christened as my "last girl" the morning of the day I proposed. What a fucking joke, thinking I could force myself to change just because I was getting engaged. I've been married for six years now, and it's only been in these last two that I began doing the serious digging required to move the quitting needle in any significant way.
The thought of quitting was always playing silently in the background though. Four years ago, I started dating the girl who gave me my first BBFS experience. I dated her several more times, most times with no cover, and it became the thing I sought out in dates. I got so adept, I could tell from assessing a girl's pics whether or not she'd be likely to let me hit raw, and I was fairly accurate. During that time I had the STD scares (that fortunately turned out to be nothing) and hit a brief phase of deep depression, unbeknownst to my wife. A couple times I just sat in my car and cried before coming home from work. It made me start taking the hard look at myself, though. Who I was, what I thought of myself, and why I was like this. [/QUOTE]This post really hit home with me.
I wish I'd known what I was in for when I started with this hobby. Seeing one or two girls a month turned into a year of daily visits and browsing escort sites for hours a day. It was like I discovered paradise and I couldn't help but to devote a significant portion of my day to it. I had an idea that I'd stop at some point and had a few "last girl" moments myself, but I knew deep down it was bullshit.
It was pure bliss initially. I'd always leave fully satisfied and with a smile on my face, but the more active I became the more I needed. I'm never fully satisfied with these women anymore, no matter how well the session goes. If anything I leave depressed knowing I'll have to wait until the next day before I get to do it again. The rush I get from setting up a date that peaks just as I'm walking in their door combined with the sex itself quickly turns into a depressed, low mood that stays with me throughout the day.
I'm right there with you, and it's so hard to go cold-turkey with sex addiction.
For awhile I was addicted to the Ashley Madison website. When I couldn't find someone locally I would start expanding my search radius, which got impractical to really meet women that far away. But when that dried up I then found the STG website, and then this website. No matter which website, it seems I spend at least 2 hours out of my workday (I work at home), browing for sex, and then many more hours during the work week texting with women and "doing the deed". I risk getting fired one of these days because I'm not getting my work done. Working at home is not helping one bit.
Yes it's an addiction. The best way out would be to level with my wife exactly what I need to be satisified, but that's not going to happen. She's not the type of sex partner I need (hot body, dirty talk, loves to fuck).
Sorry to ramble. Any similar experiences out there?
[QUOTE=Von1995;4758480]This post really hit home with me.
I wish I'd known what I was in for when I started with this hobby. Seeing one or two girls a month turned into a year of daily visits and browsing escort sites for hours a day. It was like I discovered paradise and I couldn't help but to devote a significant portion of my day to it. I had an idea that I'd stop at some point and had a few "last girl" moments myself, but I knew deep down it was bullshit.
It was pure bliss initially. I'd always leave fully satisfied and with a smile on my face, but the more active I became the more I needed. I'm never fully satisfied with these women anymore, no matter how well the session goes. If anything I leave depressed knowing I'll have to wait until the next day before I get to do it again. The rush I get from setting up a date that peaks just as I'm walking in their door combined with the sex itself quickly turns into a depressed, low mood that stays with me throughout the day.[/QUOTE]
I got caught once having an affair and my wife sent me to Sex Addiction therapy.
That was BS. I'll explain.
The therapist just tried to scare me into stopping my behavior. Warned me that I could get diseases from kissing, oral sex, and even protected sex. Warned me about extortion schemes and people that have lost everything. Then she showed me the progression of sex addiction. Porn, to sex, to multiple partners. Yes I had done MFM and FMF, so this was making sense. She said with addiction you're never satisfied and need to keep getting more kinky. She said next would be BSDM. OK Maybe. I was interested in bondage and had experimented some, but nothing more extreme.
But then next she said next would be pedophilia. That's when I left and didn't return. I have kids that I love to death and would never touch them or any others! Never ever ever!
[QUOTE=Von1995;4758480]This post really hit home with me.
I wish I'd known what I was in for when I started with this hobby. Seeing one or two girls a month turned into a year of daily visits and browsing escort sites for hours a day. It was like I discovered paradise and I couldn't help but to devote a significant portion of my day to it. I had an idea that I'd stop at some point and had a few "last girl" moments myself, but I knew deep down it was bullshit.
It was pure bliss initially. I'd always leave fully satisfied and with a smile on my face, but the more active I became the more I needed. I'm never fully satisfied with these women anymore, no matter how well the session goes. If anything I leave depressed knowing I'll have to wait until the next day before I get to do it again. The rush I get from setting up a date that peaks just as I'm walking in their door combined with the sex itself quickly turns into a depressed, low mood that stays with me throughout the day.[/QUOTE]I know what you mean. This time around, I've been in the hobby 9 years. I've "quit" a few times, only to be back a few months later. For me, the bigger rush occurs when they're dropping their panties. The sex is a rush too, but not in the same way. But the rush now is more dulled compared to even a few years ago. Even though I've loved shaved snatches and tattoos on the same body for several years, I'm now almost kind of like, "Oh ok, yet another 20-something year old drug addict with tattoos and a shaved snatch," yet I'm compelled to keep coming back.
I've been on hiatus for 2 months now due to COVID. This is the longest I've gone without in a while. I'm probably going to indulge again soon. But I'm not going to "quit" the hobby again because I know I'll just come back shortly after. At this point, I figure I will lose interest in the hobby when I lose interest in it. The timetable for when that occurs doesn't seem like it's really up to me anyway.
I find myself bouncing between SEXUAL ADDICTION, WORK ADDICTION, and DEPRESSION.
Normally I'm a sex addict. But then I start falling behind at work and need to quit the hobby for awhile and get back on track. Then I fall into a state of depression. I figure I need to start up the hobby again, and that helps. But then I start falling behind at work. And the cycle continues.
Help.
[QUOTE=UOnlyLiveOnce;4763451]I know what you mean. This time around, I've been in the hobby 9 years. I've "quit" a few times, only to be back a few months later. For me, the bigger rush occurs when they're dropping their panties. The sex is a rush too, but not in the same way. But the rush now is more dulled compared to even a few years ago. Even though I've loved shaved snatches and tattoos on the same body for several years, I'm now almost kind of like, "Oh ok, yet another 20-something year old drug addict with tattoos and a shaved snatch," yet I'm compelled to keep coming back.
I've been on hiatus for 2 months now due to COVID. This is the longest I've gone without in a while. I'm probably going to indulge again soon. But I'm not going to "quit" the hobby again because I know I'll just come back shortly after. At this point, I figure I will lose interest in the hobby when I lose interest in it. The timetable for when that occurs doesn't seem like it's really up to me anyway.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=DaveSalem;4763529]I find myself bouncing between SEXUAL ADDICTION, WORK ADDICTION, and DEPRESSION.
Normally I'm a sex addict. But then I start falling behind at work and need to quit the hobby for awhile and get back on track. Then I fall into a state of depression. I figure I need to start up the hobby again, and that helps. But then I start falling behind at work. And the cycle continues.
Help.[/QUOTE]I have likened my cravings to a drink from a poisoned fountain that leaves one eternally thirsty. I drank from the fountain when I was 27 and have never stopped looking for that rush again. Yes, I "quit" too for a while, but now I really I can never do it. I want it too much, and have risked everything to get it. Even now, with this epidemic, I know I would not hesitate if there were providers nearby. Only my isolation keeps this hunger in check.
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[QUOTE=Bozoner;4767881]I have likened my cravings to a drink from a poisoned fountain that leaves one eternally thirsty. I drank from the fountain when I was 27 and have never stopped looking for that rush again. Yes, I "quit" too for a while, but now I really I can never do it. Even now, with this epidemic, I know I would not hesitate if there were providers nearby.[/QUOTE]The coronavirus situation was never going to seriously affect my personal play time. I don't know which would be worse, giving up my favorite hobby for an extended period or actually getting the coronavirus. Call me stupid, but that's honestly how I feel.
The privileges of working from home and the increased availability among providers made seeing them even easier and more tempting, especially a few months ago when things got really bad.
I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.
If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.
Even skipthegames has girls trying to trick so its obvious this isn't avoidable but it is a better option for the most part. Its incredible to see someone you like (after reading reviews here of course) effortlessly getting a number to her and making a plan to meet later that day and it be a guaranteed thing. No more free drinks and dinner dates for girls who won't even so much as give a decent hug at the end of the night. Sure it comes with a higher price tag but I figure one successful STG visit is roughly same damage as 2-3 dinner dates and also has a better guarantee. Of course like everything though. Who knows how long this will accessible before LEO steps in or just becomes diluted with scammers that it becomes not worth the time either.
[QUOTE=CGuy2537;4814018]I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.
If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.
Even skipthegames has girls trying to trick so its obvious this isn't avoidable but it is a better option for the most part. Its incredible to see someone you like (after reading reviews here of course) effortlessly getting a number to her and making a plan to meet later that day and it be a guaranteed thing. No more free drinks and dinner dates for girls who won't even so much as give a decent hug at the end of the night. Sure it comes with a higher price tag but I figure one successful STG visit is roughly same damage as 2-3 dinner dates and also has a better guarantee. Of course like everything though. Who knows how long this will accessible before LEO steps in or just becomes diluted with scammers that it becomes not worth the time either.[/QUOTE]I can't imagine being a young single guy in the social media and Tindr era. Social media has changed everything and inflated women's egos to disastrous proportions. If you haven't read his books or his blog already, read Rollo Tomassi's stuff. It's more descriptive than a step by step guide.
I'm in my 50's. I don't have the exact requirements that you do, but I not into chicks who are either skinny (slender ok, skinny is not) or more than, say, 20 or 25 lbs overweight. Even those requirements rule out a lot of chicks, though.
[QUOTE=CGuy2537;4814018]I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.
If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.
Even skipthegames has girls trying to trick so its obvious this isn't avoidable but it is a better option for the most part. Its incredible to see someone you like (after reading reviews here of course) effortlessly getting a number to her and making a plan to meet later that day and it be a guaranteed thing. No more free drinks and dinner dates for girls who won't even so much as give a decent hug at the end of the night. Sure it comes with a higher price tag but I figure one successful STG visit is roughly same damage as 2-3 dinner dates and also has a better guarantee. Of course like everything though. Who knows how long this will accessible before LEO steps in or just becomes diluted with scammers that it becomes not worth the time either.[/QUOTE]Dude I feel ya there. I'm only 31 and the dating sucks horribly here. I started seeing escorts in my early twenties. My last relationship wasn't so great and that's when I turned to this. I've been trying to date but honestly girls are so petty these days. If you're not a perfect ten or rich then they won't give you the time of day. I want to get out of this lifestyle but I don't want to be lonely either. I've been burned to much in this and in the dating game as well. I'm definitely getting out eventually though.
[QUOTE=CGuy2537;4814018]I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.
If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.[/QUOTE]I get what you're saying about women being picky and having incredibly high standards, but its escalation through social media is only a side effect. That's just how women are. The bottom 80% of women compete for the top 20% of men.
You're very open about what you like, a tight-bodied girl who knows how to turn you on in the sheets. That's what every guy wants. Welcome to the club. It's only fair to recognize that women have preferences too, though they aren't anymore noble than ours.
At the end of the day, you have to be what women want you to be. That largely means being wealthy, charismatic, and looking like you can beat the shit out of other men. Be at least one of those things if you want to keep them interested.