Rants and Raves

[QUOTE=FairFight;4939298]To see other dudes type that they aren't hot or successful and still get girls.

All I wanted in life was a cute girl that loves to work out and play video games. Yet another year will go by with only rejections and it just makes me want to avoid everyone and sit in my apartment day after day knowing I tried my best and even invested financially into therapy, dating coaching, even sugar baby.[/QUOTE]I understand your frustration and I understand that things were a lot different for older guys than they are for younger guys with online hookup apps and other broader social changes. The good thing is that you're still pretty young at 28 years old, and things will almost certainly change as you get older and as women age (the amount of attention that they get from men generally goes down with the passing years, which tends to have an impact on their perspective). I would say that the most important thing right now is to set boundaries. Don't give more than you get and never give people things to get them to like you. They'll like the stuff but they won't like you, and they'll have no respect for you, and then they'll pass that word around. Again, don't be afraid to set boundaries and enforce them. If someone sees that you're giving in terms of a genuine overture for example, such as an invitation to spend time with them or inviting them to a social event, if they're a decent person that'll be received in an entirely different way. If they're not, you don't need them in your life anyway.

[QUOTE=StichJones;4939815]Just an old man giving a young buck some life experience advice. ALL women will use and lie in some form even when you think you have a relationship. Take time to realize this and proceed with it in mind. Obviously any female who is claiming to be a sugar baby or straight up hooker is using everyone she comes in contact with so never believe otherwise. Don't sweat your dating life as you mention. It's little difference in that world. Very few in life ever get to meet a loyal, honest person to have a relationship with. Go with how the world is, trust no know, use as you see fit and comfortable with and don't let any of the bullshit get you down. Focus on what you can control, be cautious with your money and spend it wisely and enjoy whatever path you choose to go down.[/QUOTE]I second this!

[QUOTE=MoonBat11;4939831]I understand your frustration and I understand that things were a lot different for older guys than they are for younger guys with online hookup apps and other broader social changes. The good thing is that you're still pretty young at 28 years old, and things will almost certainly change as you get older and as women age (the amount of attention that they get from men generally goes down with the passing years, which tends to have an impact on their perspective). I would say that the most important thing right now is to set boundaries. Don't give more than you get and never give people things to get them to like you. They'll like the stuff but they won't like you, and they'll have no respect for you, and then they'll pass that word around. Again, don't be afraid to set boundaries and enforce them. If someone sees that you're giving in terms of a genuine overture for example, such as an invitation to spend time with them or inviting them to a social event, if they're a decent person that'll be received in an entirely different way. If they're not, you don't need them in your life anyway.[/QUOTE]Seriously I don't want the "adult" version of romance. I wanted the high school or college romance. I just don't find older women attractive, our interest vary greatly, fashion style isn't my type, a lot of them don't work out or have kids or divorced.

How will it work out for me? When I'm still wanting a girl that's just as inexperienced as me but there none left. That's why it's such a burden and something I'm chasing now before I'll never find a girl in her early 20's that's also new to dating and willing to give her 100%.

[QUOTE=FairFight;4940209]Seriously I don't want the "adult" version of romance. I wanted the high school or college romance. I just don't find older women attractive, our interest vary greatly, fashion style isn't my type, a lot of them don't work out or have kids or divorced.

How will it work out for me? When I'm still wanting a girl that's just as inexperienced as me but there none left. That's why it's such a burden and something I'm chasing now before I'll never find a girl in her early 20's that's also new to dating and willing to give her 100%.[/QUOTE]If it's "high school or college romance" that you're after, you either have to have some game or accept that it'll cost you. There's very little in-between, and it's best you come to accept this now rather than later. There needs to be realistic expectations established.

Personal story time: I've been in two serious relationships since graduating high school. And like you, I prefer my women to be at least a year younger than me. In both instances, those women technically pursued me. I didn't suddenly lose my introverted nature, alter my personality to be an alpha male, rake in the big bucks, win the lottery, buy a fancy car, or any of that nonsense. In fact, the only changes were to my eating habits (because one gf was a vegetarian), working out a little more often (easy when you enjoy it already), and starting out as close friends which eventually turned into something more after realizing the chemistry & attraction were present. I've also been in this hobby for 7-8 years. And while in a serious relationship, I never once stepped out on my gf (loyalty's important to me); however, I picked my hobbying ways back up after the most recent relationship ended.

Prior to January of this year, I'd visit a strip club once in a blue moon or saw a professional escort. Since 2020 began, I've had decent success with SBs on Seeking Arrangements. [U]At NO TIME have I ever deluded myself into thinking that [B]those[/B] girls fell in love with anything about me except my money.[/U] That's not something that should surprise anyone. It's kind of their job. You're just one of their many johns. You can't change these women who are often damaged in some form or another. So if it's love you're after, you're not going to find it in this hobby. No one here is Richard Gere or Hugh Hefner.

Not trying to go all "Dr. Phil" on you, but I hope you take the following advice to heart: don't stress about things outside your control. By worrying about the future, trying too hard, forcing a relationship to work, or spending every waking second trying to please a potential partner, you will have missed out on so much that life has to offer and will only make [I]yourself[/I] miserable. Just be yourself, treat others with respect, don't let them play you for your checking / savings account, and pursue your interests & passions. The rest will fall into place in due time. Until then, be safe, keep your head on a swivel, and enjoy life to the fullest. Cheers!

There is an old joke about the man who asks a girl if she will sleep with him for a million dollars. Of course, she says yes. He then offers her two dollars and she slaps his face, saying, 'What do you think I am?' He answers, 'I know what you are. We are just haggling over the price.

[QUOTE=FairFight;4939298]To see other dudes type that they aren't hot or successful and still get girls.

All I wanted in life was a cute girl that loves to work out and play video games. Yet another year will go by with only rejections and it just makes me want to avoid everyone and sit in my apartment day after day knowing I tried my best and even invested financially into therapy, dating coaching, even sugar baby.[/QUOTE]My wife works, works out, and plays candy crush haha. But seriously, please stop pissing money on therapy and the scammers that are "dating coaches". And also you don't want someone that sits around all day spending your money. That just sews the seeds of resentment and youll want to slap her the first time she says no to any request made no matter how trivial.

BQ22.

It does seem like the whole being a loner thing isn't really common. I'm the only guy on my team of 16 staff that doesn't have a girlfriend or is unmarried. The weird thing is everyone's claimed a girls had interest in them but not me. A girl has never tried talking to me and usually when I make conversations with them. They have boyfriends or aren't interested beyond a conversation. Doesn't everyone get a shot at love? Wouldn't create some happiness knowing you have control over that? What about the lack of intimacy. I've met girls that have never gone more 2 weeks without sex and bits embarrassing to know I went from 18- 25 without sex.

[QUOTE=FairFight;4943686]It does seem like the whole being a loner thing isn't really common. I'm the only guy on my team of 16 staff that doesn't have a girlfriend or is unmarried. The weird thing is everyone's claimed a girls had interest in them but not me. A girl has never tried talking to me and usually when I make conversations with them. They have boyfriends or aren't interested beyond a conversation. Doesn't everyone get a shot at love? Wouldn't create some happiness knowing you have control over that? What about the lack of intimacy. I've met girls that have never gone more 2 weeks without sex and bits embarrassing to know I went from 18- 25 without sex.[/QUOTE]It's not unheard of--nor is it a thing to be embarrassed about--to be the lone single guy in any work environment. I can't stress this enough, man: don't worry about things outside your control. If you're typically quiet & introverted, be quiet & introverted. If you're alpha & outgoing, be alpha & outgoing. If you're shy, be shy. The only thing I suppose you could / might want to change on account of a woman is if said change will improve your overall quality of life: working out more, eating healthier, learning a new skill, enjoying a new hobby, etc.

I firmly believe in the time-old adage that "there's someone out there for everyone. " Corny, I know. It often requires patience, putting yourself out there, dealing with rejection (a lot of it), and thinking for yourself. As I mentioned in an earlier post, you're going to live a miserable existence if you're constantly worrying about another woman's well-being & always sacrificing your comfort for her's. And no, that's not being selfish--that's healthy, keeping yourself sane!

If you find yourself in the beginnings of a real relationship (outside this hobby), don't focus on the lack of intimacy at first. That sort of thing usually takes time. Accept that that'll come naturally or when both parties are ready. Though I'd say it's time to jump ship if you feel for a second that you're getting financially played or if there's nothing to be had after 6 months. And during the times you're not in a relationship and feeling the itch, see the occasional provider. In your instance, I'd recommend a professional over a SB (because the latter is an amateur and does require some partial chasing / work). However if you do wish to go the SB route, I recommend reading up on the Richmond forums. There's some fantastic info and stories to be had over there!

Temper your expectations, be realistic, have "fun" within the confines of your budget, and focus on what makes you happiest while being yourself. I get that training your mindset to be like this won't happen overnight. My point is that you'll never be satisfied--nor content in life--until you change your outlook. There's no reason to be celibate if you've got the itch and the funds. And there's no reason to hit the panic button just because you're the only single guy in his 30's within 100 miles of somewhere.

I feel like I'm watching some bad episode of a Dr. Phil session!

I was a virgin till I was 23, mainly because I was shy. Biggest problem most guys isn't their looks or lack of money. Unless they are on the extreme negative on looks. They are shy, and not use to talking to girls. Try online dating sites, it will help you learn what mistakes your making, also there is a lot less fear of rejection. Remember any girl on a online dating site is looking to be asked out.

[QUOTE=FairFight;4943686]It does seem like the whole being a loner thing isn't really common. I'm the only guy on my team of 16 staff that doesn't have a girlfriend or is unmarried. The weird thing is everyone's claimed a girls had interest in them but not me. A girl has never tried talking to me and usually when I make conversations with them. They have boyfriends or aren't interested beyond a conversation. Doesn't everyone get a shot at love? Wouldn't create some happiness knowing you have control over that? What about the lack of intimacy. I've met girls that have never gone more 2 weeks without sex and bits embarrassing to know I went from 18- 25 without sex.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=BusterHymen55;4944149]I feel like I'm watching some bad episode of a Dr. Phil session![/QUOTE]Come on man, I appreciate the community here coming together for this guy.

FairFight, modern day dating is extremely hard. I'm about the same age as you so I can relate to what you're saying. Try not to compare yourself to all of your coworkers. They may be married or have girlfriends, but does that mean they're truly happy? There may be trouble at home and unlike us, they have the complete freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want.

Also I would avoid dating apps and online dating to an extent. There are so many entitled bitches on there who are just on them for attention, Instagram followers, or to be amused by you as oppose to seriously dating or just hooking up.

Oh and the whole cute girl that works out and play video games. Dated a girl that just did that, but I swear a lot of the gaming girls tend to have mental issues. In my case, the girl I was dating had manic depression and it was terrible. You can definitely see the highs and lows. However, it does make me want to seek something more real (maybe you too), but it's fun being in her company so much that sex wasn't at the forefront because she had a lot to offer. No to mention sex will be awesome because you can go bare and not be afraid of catching anything.

[QUOTE=Lobsid;4944204]I was a virgin till I was 23, mainly because I was shy. Biggest problem most guys isn't their looks or lack of money. Unless they are on the extreme negative on looks. They are shy, and not use to talking to girls. Try online dating sites, it will help you learn what mistakes your making, also there is a lot less fear of rejection. Remember any girl on a online dating site is looking to be asked out.[/QUOTE]I've probably asked out 1000 girls face to face trying many different things. Speed dating, clubs, meetups. I get the vibe that most girls aren't trying to date because they already have multiple guys or have been asked out a lot. Shit even these girls that are jobless, addicted to crack and never graduated school get asked out pretty regularly. Online dating has never worked for me which is fine, a lot of girls on there aren't exactly who'd want to date.

I feel like the only thing there is to do is to make money but it doesn't feel that rewarding. I also never spend money on myself.

Sound like you are just tried of playing the dating game.

Are you guys looking for a cute young college looking girl with the long hair to clean their house naked exotically wake me up in my DM hit me on my DM she's very cute but looking for work with she doesn't have to be a street walker she doesn't do that. So if you're like me and like young pretty girls walking around naked this is for you.

[QUOTE=Lobsid;4947024]Sound like you are just tried of playing the dating game.[/QUOTE]And it's funny because it doesn't feel like I ever started. I needed to be muscular, have a good job, fake extroversion and talk to random girls anywhere. And didn't spend a single weekend in 2019 on the couch with a girl watching movies. Very depressing.