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New place on east Joppa. Was lured there last week from ad on BP featuring "European model". Gave Julianna two bills for the lamest massage I've had to date. Easy on the eyes (did take her top off) and did finish with HE. She tells me this place is owned by operators of TBC. Nice facilities with rear entrance.
[QUOTE=CaptainEddie;1627295]New place on east Joppa. Was lured there last week from ad on BP featuring "European model". Gave Julianna two bills for the lamest massage I've had to date. Easy on the eyes (did take her top off) and did finish with HE. She tells me this place is owned by operators of TBC. Nice facilities with rear entrance.[/QUOTE]Captain Eddie. You have a pm from me.
Just to share with all in Maryland in case you visit Philly. I was in Philadelphia recently. I can highly recommend a place called Cutie. I saw Evie or Eva and she was very nice. Actually a pretty good massage, and I left fully satisfied. .6 hour, plus usual tip levels. A very broad menu of services available.
I know this isn't the right thread but I wanted to repost it. It was posted in the PG Forum and it was a good article of a recent sting out there and I know many of you here don't read that section and would benefit from this.
[url]http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/dark-world-of-prostitution-turns-to-the-day/2012/12/17/d26f9842-432a-11e2-8061-253bccfc7532_story.html[/url]
ALBERTOS SPA REVIEW.
So I was stressed and wanted a good massage and perhaps a little more. I had read the reviews of this place and they basically say don't go there. However, it is so close to my house and places can definitely improve. Just wanting a massage I went in not expecting much. Maybe a little backrub and a tug.
Oh shit. Reduced expectations are a good thing, unless and until they are dashed against the rocks of "my god I never dreampt it could be this bad".
SHORT REVIEW: DO NOT GO THERE.
LONG REVIEW: DO NOT EVER GO THERE!
STORY: So you go in the front door. Not the one to the street- the one on the right that goes up the stairs. The street window is just for show. Upstairs there is the standard "looks like a cheap gym" waiting room that nobody on the face of the planet has ever used, and the standard locked door you got to knock and wait.
So grandma-san answers the door with sort of a smile (grimace really) and leads me back to a room. This is a scary old lady (the phrase "withered crone" leaps to mind). She asks for seventy for hour massage with table shower, which I happily provide. I get comfortable and wait for the massage girl to arrive.
First sign of trouble. No change was given for the 80 I gave her. She kept the change. Second sign. Grandma-san shows back up and beckons me to shower. Huh? Really? Where's the girl. Are you even female? WTF? Now two things. I know most of you would raise a stink right here. Where's my change? Where's a real girl? And if no real girl, give me my cash back. Me, I prefer to live and learn. I really just was here for a massage, and sometimes mama-san give you the shower and then sends a girl in for the real action.
Big mistake.
After a passable table shower, grammy towels me off and sticks me in a sauna. At this point I'm worried. Is this seriously the massage girl? I figure (and I've had it before) the older ladies sometimes really REALLY know how to give a great massage. I've had some of the more experienced older massage ladies do things to my back that a paid pro chiro could not manage.
Yep. It was grammy. I'm getting a massage from the crypt keeper.
And. She didn't suck. To suck at something, you have to know the basics. I mean, somebody can't "suck" at driving a car unless they know that you put the key in the ignition and turn it to start it up, then put it in gear to make it go.
I do not believe that this decrepit withered husk has ever one in her miserable life actually given a genuine massage. She basically poked at various, random places on my back and arms with random pressure and random pace, never stopping on one point for more than about 8 seconds.
About seven minutes into it she started the quiz."Have you ever been here?" "What you want to do?" "How much you spend?" After some really painful back and forth a menue started to emerge. $80 MORE for HJ, and $120 for FS. Oral was NOT on this menue. Yes these prices were in addition to the $70 I had paid for the hour massage, and the $10 she had stolen from me. I offered $60 for HJ and she actually hissed at me.
I told her. I just want a good massage. Her eyes crossed as this rattled around in her little brain, and she poked at my back for about ten minutes more and told me I needed to pay the upcharge or it was time to go.
Done. I'm leaving. Twenty-two minutes total including table shower and hour long massage.
Never go there. Never. I only went because it is basically a mile closer to my house than Pinetree (which take my word REALLY knows how to give a good pampering shower and massage). This place. Is shit.
Faust
[QUOTE=The NewGuy; 1627970]I know this isn't the right thread but I wanted to repost it. It was posted in the PG Forum and it was a good article of a recent sting out there and I know many of you here don't read that section and would benefit from this.
[url]http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/dark-world-of-prostitution-turns-to-the-day/2012/12/17/d26f9842-432a-11e2-8061-253bccfc7532_story.html[/url][/QUOTE]Thanks for the info, new guy.
Do you also touch the bench when the wet paint sign is there. In the years I have been on this board, I have never seen anything good ever written about Alberto's. You could have just as well gone to Pinetree and taken better odds of getting a decent R&T. Possibly more with the right provider. With house fees and tip over a Benjamin you need to heed what has been written here, more.
Stick with the reliable houses that are mentioned well here, and know that your money is not being thrown away.
GTR
[QUOTE=Gintonicrocks; 1628684]Do you also touch the bench when the wet paint sign is there. In the years I have been on this board, I have never seen anything good ever written about Alberto's. You could have just as well gone to Pinetree and taken better odds of getting a decent R&T. Possibly more with the right provider. With house fees and tip over a Benjamin you need to heed what has been written here, more.
Stick with the reliable houses that are mentioned well here, and know that your money is not being thrown away.
GTR[/QUOTE]I have to give Faustus credit for admitting he made a mistake. I'm glad he shared it with the board and posted a clear review. This should serve as a warning to anyone who reads it.
[QUOTE=DarkDante87;1625728]I'm sick of the same old parlors. Can someone pm me some good private providers that people have experienced? BTW I have plenty of info on most of the mps around I can share info. Send the ads please[/QUOTE]Sorry Dick Tracey, LE like everyone else, should post their own experiences before getting new 411.
[QUOTE=Faustus; 1627980]ALBERTOS SPA REVIEW.
So I was stressed and wanted a good massage and perhaps a little more. I had read the reviews of this place and they basically say don't go there. However, it is so close to my house and places can definitely improve. Just wanting a massage I went in not expecting much. Maybe a little backrub and a tug.
Oh shit. Reduced expectations are a good thing, unless and until they are dashed against the rocks of "my god I never dreampt it could be this bad".
SHORT REVIEW: DO NOT GO THERE.
LONG REVIEW: DO NOT EVER GO THERE!
STORY: So you go in the front door. Not the one to the street- the one on the right that goes up the stairs. The street window is just for show. Upstairs there is the standard "looks like a cheap gym" waiting room that nobody on the face of the planet has ever used, and the standard locked door you got to knock and wait.
So grandma-san answers the door with sort of a smile (grimace really) and leads me back to a room. This is a scary old lady (the phrase "withered crone" leaps to mind). She asks for seventy for hour massage with table shower, which I happily provide. I get comfortable and wait for the massage girl to arrive.
First sign of trouble. No change was given for the 80 I gave her. She kept the change. Second sign. Grandma-san shows back up and beckons me to shower. Huh? Really? Where's the girl. Are you even female? WTF? Now two things. I know most of you would raise a stink right here. Where's my change? Where's a real girl? And if no real girl, give me my cash back. Me, I prefer to live and learn. I really just was here for a massage, and sometimes mama-san give you the shower and then sends a girl in for the real action.
Big mistake.
After a passable table shower, grammy towels me off and sticks me in a sauna. At this point I'm worried. Is this seriously the massage girl? I figure (and I've had it before) the older ladies sometimes really REALLY know how to give a great massage. I've had some of the more experienced older massage ladies do things to my back that a paid pro chiro could not manage.
Yep. It was grammy. I'm getting a massage from the crypt keeper.
Faust[/QUOTE]You're being too harsh. I had a good experience with that provider! But admittedly that was back in 1992 when she was only middle aged.
If you tried to PM and my inbox was full, I've cleared it out.
Been on the road for a while, don't know how good we got it until you see how dead is a lot of the rest of the country. Looking forward to getting back.
Happy hunting,
HD
[QUOTE=Gintonicrocks; 1628684]Do you also touch the bench when the wet paint sign is there. In the years I have been on this board, I have never seen anything good ever written about Alberto's. You could have just as well gone to Pinetree and taken better odds of getting a decent R&T. Possibly more with the right provider. With house fees and tip over a Benjamin you need to heed what has been written here, more.
Stick with the reliable houses that are mentioned well here, and know that your money is not being thrown away.
GTR[/QUOTE]Don't be too hard on my bro Faustus. I used to live right by Alberto's as well, and I've been there more times than I'd like to admit. You choose to move to the city because you value convenience, and sometimes you don't feel like fighting traffic to the top of the Beltway, or you don't feel like dealing with the annoyance of going through the tunnel.
I never had service THAT bad though haha. I wouldn't be back after that (and don't plan on ever going back anyway now that I don't live there anymore).
[QUOTE=DarkDante87;1625728]I'm sick of the same old parlors. Can someone pm me some good private providers that people have experienced? BTW I have plenty of info on most of the mps around I can share info. Send the ads please[/QUOTE]Dude, if you want the best, there are some Chinese dudes at Columbia Mall. There are a couple women there too sometimes, usually better and younger than what you might find at Lotus. Don't go for the ladies though. They are too weak to work your muscles. It is like $55 for the hour.
Hey, guys its been a while since I logged on and haven't hunted in a while. Funds are kind of low during the hoidays so there isn't much time or money for the hobby. I remember ML was my favorite place to be during the summer but it suddenly closed.
Anyone know what happened or if they opened again? I couldn't find any le or news reports on it. I miss Momo ha ha
[QUOTE=PassionDweller; 1630353]Hey, guys its been a while since I logged on and haven't hunted in a while. Funds are kind of low during the hoidays so there isn't much time or money for the hobby. I remember ML was my favorite place to be during the summer but it suddenly closed.
Anyone know what happened or if they opened again? I couldn't find any le or news reports on it. I miss Momo ha ha[/QUOTE]They were open last month. Drove by last week and lights off door locked. The neon open sign was removed. Does not look good. Was my favorite go to place.