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I know married SBs aren't a new thing, but I just met one who's married and in an open relationship. We did a M&G and kept in touch via text for a few weeks. Got some hot pics and vids over those few weeks. Finally got to the FC and it was all that and a bag of chips. She's a definite keeper. A hot late 30's SB, with few inhibitions. God bless the Sugar Bowl.
Anyone else had experiences with married SBs? Pros? Cons? Pitfalls to watch out for?
[QUOTE=GeechieDan;4067669]I know married SBs aren't a new thing, but I just met one who's married and in an open relationship. We did a M&G and kept in touch via text for a few weeks. Got some hot pics and vids over those few weeks. Finally got to the FC and it was all that and a bag of chips. She's a definite keeper. A hot late 30's SB, with few inhibitions. God bless the Sugar Bowl.
Anyone else had experiences with married SBs? Pros? Cons? Pitfalls to watch out for?[/QUOTE]I've met 5-6 married ladies from the SB websites. One was in an open relationship, the rest were looking for a side piece. I'd say, from my experience, they are not SB per se. They are using the SB websites to find, what they assume, upscale and non-dramatic dudes. Guys that are not going to blow their cover, etc. Only one would let me give her money on rare occasion. All of them wanted to sexually experiment and do stuff they've seen in porn that their old man wouldn't do. They are one of the better kept secrets.
The con would be their availability. They tend to not be able to meet a couple times a week. Pitfalls would obviously be a jealous husband that seeks to level the score thru violence or other destruction. I met one married lady who's husband had caught her before, who was charged with attempted vehicular manslaughter after T-boning her fuck toy at 75 mph at an intersection.
Be careful and stay safe dude.
[QUOTE=HollywoodGuy;4067667]Maybe its time to up your game?[/QUOTE]On one hand, touche. On the other, the hotter / more-in-shape SB's in my area (Boston) have serious GPS issues that seem to defy any amount of game. Most of them basically insist on talking $$$ before even meeting. So either you refuse to meet, or you inevitably find out that they have GPS and you have no ability to counter it with game.
This just happened to me today. It was odd since the SB was definitely pursuing me on the site, asking why I had gone silent at one point (first, she asked about $$$ on the site, second, I was busy with other things, but that wasn't the excuse I gave). When we finally got to text, she was asking $ to meet for dinner, and $$ for each intimacy meet. I told her I don't pay for NSA's, and that I couldn't do five but would be willing to talk about it when it became clear that we had enough chemistry for the discussion to be relevant. She told me it was non-negotiable, so I wished her well.
I guess one upside is I didn't waste time on an NSA.
I will say that my regular SB's body is a Venus de Milo worthy work of art, and is still in great shape despite a six month hiatus from the gym. So I'm not doing *all* that badly. .
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4067717]On one hand, touche. On the other, the hotter / more-in-shape SB's in my area (Boston) have serious GPS issues that seem to defy any amount of game. Most of them basically insist on talking $$$ before even meeting. So either you refuse to meet, or you inevitably find out that they have GPS and you have no ability to counter it with game.
This just happened to me today. It was odd since the SB was definitely pursuing me on the site, asking why I had gone silent at one point (first, she asked about $$$ on the site, second, I was busy with other things, but that wasn't the excuse I gave). When we finally got to text, she was asking $ to meet for dinner, and $$ for each intimacy meet. I told her I don't pay for NSA's, and that I couldn't do five but would be willing to talk about it when it became clear that we had enough chemistry for the discussion to be relevant. She told me it was non-negotiable, so I wished her well.
I guess one upside is I didn't waste time on an NSA.
I will say that my regular SB's body is a Venus de Milo worthy work of art, and is still in great shape despite a six month hiatus from the gym. So I'm not doing *all* that badly. .[/QUOTE]I think GPS is universal and constant everywhere. But I will admit that if I see a girl mention in her post that she just moved here (L. A.) from the east coast I mostly shine them on. I don't know how much time you spend online, but you really do have to dig to find the gold. Statistically my numbers would look pathetic on a pie chart. Luckily there are a lot of girls to hit up. Maybe less in your area. Don't know.
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4067717]On one hand, touche. On the other, the hotter / more-in-shape SB's in my area (Boston) have serious GPS issues that seem to defy any amount of game. Most of them basically insist on talking $$$ before even meeting. So either you refuse to meet, or you inevitably find out that they have GPS and you have no ability to counter it with game.
This just happened to me today. It was odd since the SB was definitely pursuing me on the site, asking why I had gone silent at one point (first, she asked about $$$ on the site, second, I was busy with other things, but that wasn't the excuse I gave). When we finally got to text, she was asking $ to meet for dinner, and $$ for each intimacy meet. I told her I don't pay for NSA's, and that I couldn't do five but would be willing to talk about it when it became clear that we had enough chemistry for the discussion to be relevant. She told me it was non-negotiable, so I wished her well.
I guess one upside is I didn't waste time on an NSA.
I will say that my regular SB's body is a Venus de Milo worthy work of art, and is still in great shape despite a six month hiatus from the gym. So I'm not doing *all* that badly. .[/QUOTE]Its such a small world. I am messaging this girl as listed in L. A. Everything is going great and then she tells me she is currently going to school in boston. LOL. All this, while I am replying to you. I guess she really does live here (L. A.) but goes to school there. Coming here for the holidays, Hope she follows through, as we seem to be in total agreement.
[QUOTE=GeechieDan;4067669]I know married SBs aren't a new thing, but I just met one who's married and in an open relationship. We did a M&G and kept in touch via text for a few weeks. Got some hot pics and vids over those few weeks. Finally got to the FC and it was all that and a bag of chips. She's a definite keeper. A hot late 30's SB, with few inhibitions. God bless the Sugar Bowl.
Anyone else had experiences with married SBs? Pros? Cons? Pitfalls to watch out for?[/QUOTE]My one con with a married sb was her getting too attached. Just be careful, many of the married ones are neglected at home and more sensitive to attention a man might give her. Otherwise I've enjoyed the married ones.
[QUOTE=Hungre1234;4068113]My one con with a married sb was her getting too attached. Just be careful, many of the married ones are neglected at home and more sensitive to attention a man might give her. Otherwise I've enjoyed the married ones.[/QUOTE]I can concur with your assessment, I am with one right now since July and we would be dripping just by giving me a BJ, still one of my ATF. Had to take a few weeks break but will get in her shortly.
Enjoy the bowl!
J.
[QUOTE=Hungre1234;4068113]My one con with a married sb was her getting too attached. Just be careful, many of the married ones are neglected at home and more sensitive to attention a man might give her. Otherwise I've enjoyed the married ones.[/QUOTE]I had 9 months with a married 25 yo SB. She said she felt under appreciated. It was hot and heavy for 7 months. I even got her to grow out her pussy hair as that is what I like on a woman. She said her hubby wouldn't care as wouldn't go down on her anyway. So she got her confidence back as a woman and decided she wanted out of her marriage and told him so. That didn't go over so well with him. That situation dampened her mood and her marriage problems soon become the dominant conversation when we were together. I like to be supportive but I also view my time with an SB as my escape not a therapy session. So we drifted apart. She separated from her husband and now has a new job and new boy friend for real.
So for now I avoid the married ones and the open relationship ones. The OR SBs are another story with jealous boyfriends.
Continuing on the Married theme, I have had 2 college SB's in the last week tell me they were not interested because I was married. One had not seen it on my profile and it wasn't until we were planning our second date that I off handily mentioned needing to get home by 10 pm. She said she wasn't going to be that "other woman". So that ended before the fun started. The other just this morning was willing to "meet for massages but no sex with a married man". That pleasure would cost me 300.
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4067560]Got myself squarely into the green zone after getting dead serious about my diet and keeping up with weight training starting last summer. Lost 25 lbs and I now have noticeable muscle definition. Can't compete with a gym rat, but I definitely now like what I see when I take off my shirt in the bathroom mirror.
And yes, it makes a huge difference. Your game is naturally better because you look good and you know it. Losing 25 lbs easily shaves 5 years off your looks, and your self-esteem probably another 1-2 on top of that. When it comes time for FC, you look forward to getting naked. Not am I only in better shape than the majority of 50-somethings, I'm in better shape than most of the SB's I've encountered. My latest flakey one actually apologized as we were getting started that she hadn't been to the gym in awhile. Prior to that, as we were sipping wine on the couch, she commented on how firm I was when she was stroking my chest through my shirt.
Anything and everything you can do to shatter their preconceived notion that sex with an older guy is something to endure rather than enjoy will pay off handsomely.
And that extends beyond the bowl. I carry myself with much more confidence now. I'm thrilled every day when I put on the 32 W jeans that haven't fit in years, and now are actually starting to be a little loose on me. Can't recommend trimming down highly enough![/QUOTE]I've written a great deal about how much difference staying in shape can make. It does far more for the overall SD experience than any other single factor -- everything from attracting better SBs, to allowing endless sexual endurance without pills. Women are attracted to alpha males, and alphas don't let themselves get lazy and out of shape, because they want the competitive edge at all times. I can't tell you how much free pussy (well -- free of direct payment that is) the cost of a gym membership has bought me in the bowl.
Regular exercise elevates your natural testosterone levels, and when it comes to T levels, no SB has ever thought to herself "less is more".
A good SB already (as opposed to an escort) has a natural preference for much older men, and while escorts and UTRs will do anything for money, the kind of SBs most of us are after do look for SDs they are physically attracted to. It's hard for an 18-22 year old to be attracted to a lazy schlub of any age, or a guy who has money but let his looks go. But the vast majority of them get horny for a successful and ambitious older man who works out and who can fuck them better than guys half his age.
Funny thing happened to me this week. I stumble on a hot chick newly separated in my area of NH on SA, I know the girl because I interviewed her for an opening I had for my company and she ended choosing another place over mine. Now I find her on SA but did not give my pictures, I have a SO and if I reveal my identity it would be just awkward and risky for my situation. I have her number but hesitant to get in touch.
Your input is appreciated.
J.
[QUOTE=Javazer;4068973]Funny thing happened to me this week. I stumble on a hot chick newly separated in my area of NH on SA, I know the girl because I interviewed her for an opening I had for my company and she ended choosing another place over mine. Now I find her on SA but did not give my pictures, I have a SO and if I reveal my identity it would be just awkward and risky for my situation. I have her number but hesitant to get in touch.
Your input is appreciated.
J.[/QUOTE]That sounds like a perfect situation in which to pass her over to someone else in your area as a favor. He either reciprocates now or later. All you have to do is give her his number and he acts like he is your profile. Guys are always asking me to trade off an SB I am leaving and I have never found a safe way to do so. This may be the only way. Before initial contact.
BAM.
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4068414]I've written a great deal about how much difference staying in shape can make.[/QUOTE]And I wish I had taken your advice earlier. Though once you end up in a pattern with a very long-term SB it's easy to slack off, just like in civvie relationships. It was when the relationship with her came crashing down hard that I found myself in a mental space that fueled my weight loss and fitness training. It was a pretty negative space (summer was brutal, emotionally), but I was able to rescue something positive out of all that. The trick is to stay invested in it, and so far so good, as I'm continually seeing a return on that investment.
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4069636]And I wish I had taken your advice earlier. Though once you end up in a pattern with a very long-term SB it's easy to slack off, just like in civvie relationships. It was when the relationship with her came crashing down hard that I found myself in a mental space that fueled my weight loss and fitness training. It was a pretty negative space (summer was brutal, emotionally), but I was able to rescue something positive out of all that. The trick is to stay invested in it, and so far so good, as I'm continually seeing a return on that investment.[/QUOTE]There are a few tricks I've found that help maintain the balance through the "comfortable" times.
1. If you're in any sort of long-term situation (SB or civy), keep in mind that if you get too comfortable, she probably will take it as license to do same, and before you know it she's not as hot as she used to be and neither is your sex-life. So by pushing yourself, you're also pushing her to keep up, and it pays dividends across the board in terms of better sex.
2. Don't deprive yourself completely of eating the things you want to eat, but when you do indulge, balance it out with something on the other side. For example if you eat a slice of pie, satisfy the craving but then later eat something like salmon fillet with vegetables. Depriving yourself completely just leads to a bottled up feeling that you're missing something, and most people who swing to the two extremes end up losing the battle to the far end of each extreme they didn't want.
3. Sometimes if I'm feeling too comfortable, I let my mind reflect onto past sugaring experiences -- not just how hot the girl was or how good the sex was, but I start picturing in my mind things like the restaurant we ate at, or what kind of art or decorations were in the hotel room I stayed in, or what was said in the first hour we met. Things like that. It helps to put me back into the "mode" where life is not mundane and I'm traveling around to different cities meeting different girls. Somehow remembering the smallest details of these experiences helps remind me why I want to go to the gym.
4. Don't bust your ass completely on every gym session. Get in the habit of finishing the workout in under an hour, and push yourself just hard enough that the workout itself is enjoyable. This in itself makes the workout itself become addictive, making you look forward to each workout. I've found never, ever to do "as much as I can", because the body does not gauge "too much" very well while it is warmed up during the workout. Injuries only set us back, so avoiding them at all cost is paramount, even if that means stopping the workout at 75%-80% of what you think you have left.
5. Remember there's another reason to exercise. Medical science now knows that failure to exercise is more harmful than smoking and drinking combined, so by exercising we are fending off a gazillion other health issues that would otherwise haunt us when our sugaring days are behind us.
[URL]https://www.seeking.com/member/c1c90b54-c189-45b9-995c-35e6cb0a2ee7[/URL]
Anyone have info? She's fun sized and I'm intrigued.
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4069794]There are a few tricks I've found that help maintain the balance through the "comfortable" times.
1. If you're in any sort of long-term situation (SB or civy), keep in mind that if you get too comfortable, she probably will take it as license to do same, and before you know it she's not as hot as she used to be and neither is your sex-life. So by pushing yourself, you're also pushing her to keep up, and it pays dividends across the board in terms of better sex.
2. Don't deprive yourself completely of eating the things you want to eat, but when you do indulge, balance it out with something on the other side. For example if you eat a slice of pie, satisfy the craving but then later eat something like salmon fillet with vegetables. Depriving yourself completely just leads to a bottled up feeling that you're missing something, and most people who swing to the two extremes end up losing the battle to the far end of each extreme they didn't want.
3. Sometimes if I'm feeling too comfortable, I let my mind reflect onto past sugaring experiences -- not just how hot the girl was or how good the sex was, but I start picturing in my mind things like the restaurant we ate at, or what kind of art or decorations were in the hotel room I stayed in, or what was said in the first hour we met. Things like that. It helps to put me back into the "mode" where life is not mundane and I'm traveling around to different cities meeting different girls. Somehow remembering the smallest details of these experiences helps remind me why I want to go to the gym.
4. Don't bust your ass completely on every gym session. Get in the habit of finishing the workout in under an hour, and push yourself just hard enough that the workout itself is enjoyable. This in itself makes the workout itself become addictive, making you look forward to each workout. I've found never, ever to do "as much as I can", because the body does not gauge "too much" very well while it is warmed up during the workout. Injuries only set us back, so avoiding them at all cost is paramount, even if that means stopping the workout at 75%-80% of what you think you have left.
5. Remember there's another reason to exercise. Medical science now knows that failure to exercise is more harmful than smoking and drinking combined, so by exercising we are fending off a gazillion other health issues that would otherwise haunt us when our sugaring days are behind us.[/QUOTE]1. That's definitely true. Though in my case my LTSB was blessed with a high metabolism. She never exercised but always had a slim, spinner body to die for. From the day we met to the day she walked. Boy do I miss that.
2. My sister is a nutritionist. Her motto is "everything in moderation, including moderation". So yes, I have been doing exactly what you describe. Ever since summer I'd sworn off pizza, but finally indulged, but in moderation. Didn't make a dent. In fact I find that if I have a small binge here and there (relatively speaking), I tend to lose weight during those periods. My layman's guess is calorie restriction dials back metabolism, and if you give your body some calories, it gives permission to ramp it back up for awhile.
3. Yes. My current SB is as much about the romance angle as the sex, and that's a big motivator. Not to mention that when we do get naked, fitness-wise we're about comparable, which is a nice feeling.
4. I've been doing a slow-and-steady six months, and just enjoying the gradual improvement without being in afterburner mode. 35-45 minutes of weights and that's that, never over-extending myself. Preferably 3 x a week, and the frequency seems to be one of the biggest wins (going from 2 x to 3 x was noticeable).
5. Nice to know.
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4070064] Ever since summer I'd sworn off pizza, but finally indulged, but in moderation. Didn't make a dent. In fact I find that if I have a small binge here and there (relatively speaking), I tend to lose weight during those periods. My layman's guess is calorie restriction dials back metabolism, and if you give your body some calories, it gives permission to ramp it back up for awhile.[/QUOTE]That's very possibly an accurate guess, I haven't put too much thought into the science of it. What I have found is that when I hit my optimum fitness level, it mostly seems to maintain itself. Where I have to be careful is when my normal workout deviates, like when my work ramps up and I start spending a lot of time sitting, then increase my alcohol intake, then start slowing down on the gym visits, then get irresponsible like when my girlfriend's friend gives her a home made cheesecake and I end up eating the whole thing in a day. LOL. After a few weeks of a combination of behaviors like that, I eventually step on the scale to see an unwelcome half dozen or so pounds, and that's my queue to quit screwing around and get back to the gym.
I am quite active (=compulsive!) on seeking, recently joining for the next month. I am getting a lot of the "what do you provide for an allowance?" question in messaging on the site. In general I try to negotiate that at the M&G, face to face, to get the best deal. It is also risky to do on seeking, it seems people have gotten banned for getting into that. The site is appropriately paranoid about getting shut down.
I have replied that I can't talk about it on the site because it violates the terms of service, but then of course there's no prevention if we start texting or emailing. I have also said general stuff like 'I wouldn't know how to have that conversation w / someone I'd never met' and 'I'm sure you wouldn't like to discuss sexual acts w / a guy you only know over the internet'. Often times, the conversation stops at that point. I know I want to deflect the sugar discussion as long as possible, but am I missing out on some here? Is there a different way to say it to get them to M&G w / o a sugar promise, or at least a sense. At one point, I think I was saying something like "I'm not poor and I'm not cheap, and I have had very desirable SBs, and they never complained. " In the absence of the old 'lifestyle' buttons, it's hard to know what they want.
Are these who get to this question quickly just UTRs who I mostly am not interested in anyway?
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4070248]That's very possibly an accurate guess, I haven't put too much thought into the science of it. What I have found is that when I hit my optimum fitness level, it mostly seems to maintain itself. Where I have to be careful is when my normal workout deviates, like when my work ramps up and I start spending a lot of time sitting, then increase my alcohol intake, then start slowing down on the gym visits, then get irresponsible like when my girlfriend's friend gives her a home made cheesecake and I end up eating the whole thing in a day. LOL. After a few weeks of a combination of behaviors like that, I eventually step on the scale to see an unwelcome half dozen or so pounds, and that's my queue to quit screwing around and get back to the gym.[/QUOTE]Fortunately I've managed to not backslide that far. At most I see less than a pound difference when I "binge" (which basically translates into indulging in pub food, or a larger portion than I might normally have). And again, remarkably I sometimes see a small net loss over the course of a week where I binged once or twice. I know how much work "that last five pounds" are, so at the moment I'm pretty hell-bent on not letting things slide to the point where I'm facing that problem.
The only bummer right now is with the colder weather, I don't have clothing that highlights the trim physique. Good problem to have I suppose.
[QUOTE=FarFarAway;4070338]I am quite active (=compulsive!) on seeking, recently joining for the next month. I am getting a lot of the "what do you provide for an allowance?" question in messaging on the site. In general I try to negotiate that at the M&G, face to face, to get the best deal. It is also risky to do on seeking, it seems people have gotten banned for getting into that. The site is appropriately paranoid about getting shut down.
I have replied that I can't talk about it on the site because it violates the terms of service, but then of course there's no prevention if we start texting or emailing. I have also said general stuff like 'I wouldn't know how to have that conversation w / someone I'd never met' and 'I'm sure you wouldn't like to discuss sexual acts w / a guy you only know over the internet'. Often times, the conversation stops at that point. I know I want to deflect the sugar discussion as long as possible, but am I missing out on some here? Is there a different way to say it to get them to M&G w / o a sugar promise, or at least a sense. At one point, I think I was saying something like "I'm not poor and I'm not cheap, and I have had very desirable SBs, and they never complained. " In the absence of the old 'lifestyle' buttons, it's hard to know what they want.
Are these who get to this question quickly just UTRs who I mostly am not interested in anyway?[/QUOTE]See my post farther down, just happened to me recently. It was strange because usually the GPS girls (in my experience anyway) tend to not be the ones in pursuit. But she reached out to me first, and when I started to flake a little on her she didn't give up. Until we went to text of course, at which point the financials came up again, and then she let it drop that $500 was non-negotiable. Which is ironic because if it's that non-negotiable, that must mean she has SD's beating a path to her door, so why did she feel the need to pursue me?
I don't think she was a UTR, just a GPS who is looking at it very much as a transaction, and for whatever reason (ego, greed, whatever) needs to have the number be high. The one time I agreed to that amount was from someone who claimed to pull down $800 on occasion, but at the same time I was her last SD because she had given up on it as an activity with a good ROI for her. She had no spark, wasn't a clock-watcher but was very stingy with her time, and very much seemed to be of the mindset that she was the one doing me the favor. The latter wasn't obnoxiously so, but that was her general thought process.
So, I'm rambling, but I had no problem just walking away from these situations (demanding to talk financials first, are out of my price range) because I do think that these are girls I am not interested in. The entire vibe is wrong, as they are more likely to be calculating an ROI in terms of their time and are doing it more for the financials than the sex. As a result, the sex is probably not going to be as good, simply because they are either not into it or are treating it so casually that there's no spark.
[QUOTE=FarFarAway;4070338]I am quite active (=compulsive!) on seeking, recently joining for the next month. I am getting a lot of the "what do you provide for an allowance?" question in messaging on the site. In general I try to negotiate that at the M&G, face to face, to get the best deal. It is also risky to do on seeking, it seems people have gotten banned for getting into that. The site is appropriately paranoid about getting shut down.
I have replied that I can't talk about it on the site because it violates the terms of service, but then of course there's no prevention if we start texting or emailing. I have also said general stuff like 'I wouldn't know how to have that conversation w / someone I'd never met' and 'I'm sure you wouldn't like to discuss sexual acts w / a guy you only know over the internet'. Often times, the conversation stops at that point. I know I want to deflect the sugar discussion as long as possible, but am I missing out on some here? Is there a different way to say it to get them to M&G w / o a sugar promise, or at least a sense. At one point, I think I was saying something like "I'm not poor and I'm not cheap, and I have had very desirable SBs, and they never complained. " In the absence of the old 'lifestyle' buttons, it's hard to know what they want.
Are these who get to this question quickly just UTRs who I mostly am not interested in anyway?[/QUOTE]I look to see how long they have been on the site. With it being a really long time, I assume they are UTR and treat them accordingly. With the ones that are really new, I tell them I am open to various arrangements depending on how well we match up. A lot ask me what my previous arrangements were like. Some even ask how did I help my last SB. My usual reply is that depended on the situation that brought the person to SA. Whatever the case, we have a mutually beneficial arrangement that we can discuss over coffee or dinner and see where we might want to go from there.
The exception to all that occurs like what happens just before Christmas and around rent due time. Some of them will say they need X dollars soon to pay for whatever. I will decline or say we can meet for coffee and see if I can help. I never give them an amount when messaging. If I can't get them to meet me first, then it's not going to be the kind of arrangement I am looking for at this point in my life regardless of UTR or green newbie that has no clue what a real Sugar Baby is.
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4070640]Fortunately I've managed to not backslide that far. At most I see less than a pound difference when I "binge" (which basically translates into indulging in pub food, or a larger portion than I might normally have). And again, remarkably I sometimes see a small net loss over the course of a week where I binged once or twice. I know how much work "that last five pounds" are, so at the moment I'm pretty hell-bent on not letting things slide to the point where I'm facing that problem.[/QUOTE]I may not have that sense of relative difficulty of losing five pounds, because I'm sure it's harder than losing more pounds when the % over ideal weight is higher. But for me, not straying too far from the ideal is what makes it easier to get back to it when needed. It probably varies from one individual to another, but I've found that shedding about 2 lbs per week is pretty easily achieved (faster than that is probably not recommended), so if I get six pounds over, I'm only 2-3 weeks away from ideal, and I usually have at least that much notice before going on one of my traveling pussy-hunting binges.
Oddly enough, 6 extra pounds isn't really visibly detectable on me by others -- but I sure feel the difference. I'm already a naturally horny person anyway, but loss of that last 5 pounds seems to greatly magnify sex drive for some reason. It's as if my brain has been trained to acknowledge the slight difference in weight as the difference between "comfort day to day" and "optimal hunting mode". LOL. So it expects and craves more sex more often. Or maybe it's the diet modifications I make. Going to the gym is a year-round thing for me, varying slightly in frequency of visits, so not a tremendous amount of change there one way or the other. It's mostly dietary changes that seem make the difference in that last five.
I appreciate when a girl exhibits GPS early on. It allows me to cross them off the list without investing too much time or money.
We've all made mistakes in the bowl, especially early on. I'm no different and spent too much on some girls early on. I found that there is actually an inverse relationship to the amount a girl demands and quality of the experience.
Girls that only do it for the money, think they are "the shit" and are doing me a favor, have almost always been a disappointment. Girls that genuinely like older men, are down to earth and appreciate what I offer, have almost always been a much better experience.
Surprisingly, there is little correlation to looks. The first group always dresses well, but often is hiding or covering up physical flaws. The second group is often much more casual, less confident in their appearance, but often take much better care of their health and natural appearance.
Often girls will use how much it costs them for their hair, nails, clothes, make-up, etc as rationale for needing an allowance for the meet and greet. My thought every time is "what are they trying to hide?" The prettiest women I've ever known were naturally beautiful and didn't need make-up, nails, hair styling, heels and outfits to make them beautiful.
Similar to the recent discussion on this board, I believe more girls should focus on diet and exercise more so than make-up, nails, styling and outfits.
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4071265]See my post farther down, just happened to me recently. It was strange because usually the GPS girls (in my experience anyway) tend to not be the ones in pursuit. But she reached out to me first, and when I started to flake a little on her she didn't give up. Until we went to text of course, at which point the financials came up again, and then she let it drop that $500 was non-negotiable. Which is ironic because if it's that non-negotiable, that must mean she has SD's beating a path to her door, so why did she feel the need to pursue me?
I don't think she was a UTR, just a GPS who is looking at it very much as a transaction, and for whatever reason (ego, greed, whatever) needs to have the number be high. The one time I agreed to that amount was from someone who claimed to pull down $800 on occasion, but at the same time I was her last SD because she had given up on it as an activity with a good ROI for her. She had no spark, wasn't a clock-watcher but was very stingy with her time, and very much seemed to be of the mindset that she was the one doing me the favor. The latter wasn't obnoxiously so, but that was her general thought process.
So, I'm rambling, but I had no problem just walking away from these situations (demanding to talk financials first, are out of my price range) because I do think that these are girls I am not interested in. The entire vibe is wrong, as they are more likely to be calculating an ROI in terms of their time and are doing it more for the financials than the sex. As a result, the sex is probably not going to be as good, simply because they are either not into it or are treating it so casually that there's no spark.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Madaboutmax;4071349] The prettiest women I've ever known were naturally beautiful and didn't need make-up, nails, hair styling, heels and outfits to make them beautiful.[/QUOTE]My first long-term SB was exactly like this, as is my current SB. And they are pretty in non-glamorous ways, which to me makes them all the more attractive. My first SB in particular would dress in a way that de-emphasized her slim, spinner physique. Between that and a slightly nerdy demeanor, you'd have no clue of the sexual energy lurking underneath. So it was a real ego rush to know her "secret", and that I was the guy who enjoyed the fruits of that.
I assume any potential SB who doesn't have in her profile Platonic or not looking for sex, is going to be open for it. Assuming as well that you have game.
Thoughts?
[QUOTE=Walruscl;4071408]My first long-term SB was exactly like this, as is my current SB. And they are pretty in non-glamorous ways, which to me makes them all the more attractive. My first SB in particular would dress in a way that de-emphasized her slim, spinner physique. Between that and a slightly nerdy demeanor, you'd have no clue of the sexual energy lurking underneath. So it was a real ego rush to know her "secret", and that I was the guy who enjoyed the fruits of that.[/QUOTE]My own SB experience is this. I have 2 SBs, one a MILF in her 40's and one in her 30's. Both are pretty but not a knockout by any means. One is a church girl, another a single mom. These girls are the best in bed. Open to all possiblities, they enjoy sex (both tell me and show it), one is a squirter. So, while there are a lot of stuck up "beautiful girls" on SA. I'll take the non-mercenary normal gals. When they leave, my balls are completely empty. Its great.
GG.
Unfortunately it's not that clear cut. There is not a rule book and many girls interpret things things their own way. Just because a girl says platonic, doesn't mean she isn't open to intimacy in the right situation. By contrast, just a girl doesn't say platonic only doesn't mean she is willing to be intimate with you. I've seen an increase in online only and pic / video traders especially since the site changed its format.
Just like not everyone interprets FWB or NSA differently I think intimacy is the same. It's up to us to ask the right questions which is unfortunately can't happen on the site much anymore.
[QUOTE=JustLonely;4071487]I assume any potential SB who doesn't have in her profile Platonic or not looking for sex, is going to be open for it. Assuming as well that you have game.
Thoughts?[/QUOTE]
I just got bitched out by a gal on SA who contacted me. Now, I'm very clear in my profile (without using language that will get me banned from SA) that I'm not looking for eye candy because my time to meet is limited. And we will have "private meetings" only.
So, this gal contacted me and we moved to text messaging for the particulars. BF is in prison (that's a red flag already), and she has 2 kids and supposedly a job. Told her my needs (draining of my balls on each visit. But, I used the term intimacy in bed when she and I chatted) and told her my gift, $150. She then started railing me "you say you are a SD but you really are not. What about my allowance monthly"?
Poor girl. Can't find a sucker to help pay her rent, send BF in prison money etc.
I did explain to her how it works. She buys into the idea of "free money" from SDs.
OH well.
GG.
[QUOTE=JustLonely;4071487]I assume any potential SB who doesn't have in her profile Platonic or not looking for sex, is going to be open for it. Assuming as well that you have game.
Thoughts?[/QUOTE]Ignore what they write.. all women are open to fucking, they like it as much as we do. Who they will do it with is what's up in the air.
Whether or not any given male will benefit from that comes down to varying combinations of game, timing, personal chemistry, spending habits, etc. I think one of the biggest mistakes guys new to the bowl make is approaching the lifestyle as a mongering transaction rather than simply another form of online dating, or more accurately a "caught in the middle" lifestyle that sort of fills in the grey area between civy dating on one side and mongering on the other (with some SDs leaning more one way or the other of course).
The girls who write "platonic", "absolutely no sex", etc. are usually just preemptively saving face in case someone they know sees them on the site.
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4073408]Ignore what they write.. all women are open to fucking, they like it as much as we do. Who they will do it with is what's up in the air.
Whether or not any given male will benefit from that comes down to varying combinations of game, timing, personal chemistry, spending habits, etc. I think one of the biggest mistakes guys new to the bowl make is approaching the lifestyle as a mongering transaction rather than simply another form of online dating, or more accurately a "caught in the middle" lifestyle that sort of fills in the grey area between civy dating on one side and mongering on the other (with some SDs leaning more one way or the other of course).
The girls who write "platonic", "absolutely no sex", etc. are usually just preemptively saving face in case someone they know sees them on the site.[/QUOTE]As usual these are "words of wisdom" coming from you and I agree 100%! I have learned a lot following your posts on this forum. Thank you sir!
[I]Safe mongering and sugaring![/I]
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4073408]Ignore what they write.. all women are open to fucking, they like it as much as we do. Who they will do it with is what's up in the air.
Whether or not any given male will benefit from that comes down to varying combinations of game, timing, personal chemistry, spending habits, etc. I think one of the biggest mistakes guys new to the bowl make is approaching the lifestyle as a mongering transaction rather than simply another form of online dating, or more accurately a "caught in the middle" lifestyle that sort of fills in the grey area between civy dating on one side and mongering on the other (with some SDs leaning more one way or the other of course).
The girls who write "platonic", "absolutely no sex", etc. are usually just preemptively saving face in case someone they know sees them on the site.[/QUOTE]Great advice here. I look at being a SD as nothing but a FWB situation where I chip in some additional help as things float. They've made the decision (consciously or subconsciously) to fuck, it's just up to you to figure out on what terms.
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4069794]There are a few tricks I've found that help maintain the balance through the "comfortable" times.
...
4. Don't bust your ass completely on every gym session. Get in the habit of finishing the workout in under an hour, and push yourself just hard enough that the workout itself is enjoyable. This in itself makes the workout itself become addictive, making you look forward to each workout. I've found never, ever to do "as much as I can", because the body does not gauge "too much" very well while it is warmed up during the workout. Injuries only set us back, so avoiding them at all cost is paramount, even if that means stopping the workout at 75%-80% of what you think you have left.
...
[/QUOTE]I can't overstress how on point JL is here. I used to go to the gym just about every day and maxed myself out for 1-1. 5 hours, to the point of depletion. This was 15 years ago. Then I took a vacation, came back a couple of weeks later and started on the same exact routine from day one, same weights, same number of reps, etc. , and ended up injuring my spine. I'm still paying for that mistake today.
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4073408]Ignore what they write.. all women are open to fucking, they like it as much as we do. Who they will do it with is what's up in the air.[/QUOTE]I can't tell you the number of 20 somethings who are quite happy to tell me they are comfortable getting naked with a man 2 x their age become men under 30 are clueless losers. USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.
My usual patter goes along the lines of.
I first thought when an SB put in her profile she was looking for a "mentor" it meant she was OK with getting naked with a man 2 x their age. But I came to realize that dating can't be any fun when your choices are the soulful barista trying to find a more impactful use of his Humanities degrees or the video game addict who thinks going dutch on take out and firing up Netflix is a quality experience or the man-bunned software geek is always pouting because he isn't VP of Wonderfulness at [URL]StartUpApp.com[/URL] after 6 weeks on the job. Navigating adulthood is confusing and sometimes overwhelming and one little slip up -- like a fender bender or roommate late with rent -- can really set a gal back.
Most women. By the time they are 30 -- will have more than their share of drunken hook ups and regrettable relationships that leave you with little more than fodder to laugh at with your girlfriends -- at best -- and a pregnancy scare at worst. And you can only take so much of the selfish, human jack hammer routine that is sex with a clueless man / boy who has been programmed to ask permission for every kiss instead of taking the lead in life.
You have the rest of your life to fall in love and do all the predictable things -- may as well enjoy life while you can, experience some new things (both fancy dinners / shoes and getting tied up and fucked all night. But that needs not be said, their minds go there), so you can figure out what you enjoy and what you want out of life. And who better to help you navigate all this than someone who has seen and done a thing or two and doesn't have to worry about maxing out his credit card to take you to the nail salon.
10 minutes of messaging along those lines, and they will pretty much go from an introductory drink to drinking you load.
[QUOTE=JustLonely;4071487]I assume any potential SB who doesn't have in her profile Platonic or not looking for sex, is going to be open for it. Assuming as well that you have game.
Thoughts?[/QUOTE]Some good points on this topic. Things got muddied up a bit when SA went to just Seeking. Too many I have run across now are thinking this more as a dating site and less of SD / SB. I make it clear that I am are looking for an intimate arrangement with the right person before we have any M&G. My preferred M&G now is a quick coffee after I get off work on the way home. I have found I get a quicker yes to that than taking them to dinner as it is a spontaneous meeting without any pressure for more that a dinner can invoke. Cheaper on me too!
[QUOTE=JZLizard;4073408]Ignore what they write.. all women are open to fucking, they like it as much as we do. Who they will do it with is what's up in the air.
Whether or not any given male will benefit from that comes down to varying combinations of game, timing, personal chemistry, spending habits, etc. I think one of the biggest mistakes guys new to the bowl make is approaching the lifestyle as a mongering transaction rather than simply another form of online dating, or more accurately a "caught in the middle" lifestyle that sort of fills in the grey area between civy dating on one side and mongering on the other (with some SDs leaning more one way or the other of course).
The girls who write "platonic", "absolutely no sex", etc. are usually just preemptively saving face in case someone they know sees them on the site.[/QUOTE]For those that state "platonic" I tend to press the issue shortly after moving to text. I usually tell them I'm going to grab a nap and napping is better when done together, or better after being "tucked" in appropriately. Or I tell them I'm jumping in the shower and I could use a hand for those hard to reach areas. Those that are truly platonic (truly virgins) will let you know quickly that they are not comfortable with such talk. I let them go before wasting anymore time or money. Those that are pros, semi-pros, or UTR (none of which I am looking for) will be quick to send pics and talk price, and I let them go. Those that are in it for what I am looking for (young energetic girl looking for adventure and maturity that she can't get on L / are swipe apps) will respond with "ummmm" or "I like the way you think" or "that sounds fun" or "I think we are going to hit it off and I look forward to joining you eventually. ".
[QUOTE=GenevaGuy;4073304]I just got bitched out by a gal on SA who contacted me. Now, I'm very clear in my profile (without using language that will get me banned from SA) that I'm not looking for eye candy because my time to meet is limited. And we will have "private meetings" only.
So, this gal contacted me and we moved to text messaging for the particulars. BF is in prison (that's a red flag already), and she has 2 kids and supposedly a job. Told her my needs (draining of my balls on each visit. But, I used the term intimacy in bed when she and I chatted) and told her my gift, $150. She then started railing me "you say you are a SD but you really are not. What about my allowance monthly"?
Poor girl. Can't find a sucker to help pay her rent, send BF in prison money etc.
I did explain to her how it works. She buys into the idea of "free money" from SDs.
OH well.
GG.[/QUOTE]Man, Since the demise of BP and CL, SA has become a catch all. The chick above is on SA only because she can advertise for free for quick cash. I've noticed, now, 50-75% are pros, semi-pros, or UTR looking for quick cash transactions. For them it is a short game and they are leaving money on the table. I lean toward traditional SD / SB and exclusive FWB relationships on that site. I spend far more on dinners, shows, shopping trips, gift cards, travel, etc than I'd ever spend $200 at a time. But I take pride and get pleasure from my girl being taken care of (clothes, nails, passport stamps, cultural events) and she shows her appreciation with small gifts of her own and pressing the edge of her envelope in sexual experimentation and taking pride in looking as nice as possible in fancy restaurants.
Fellas,
For those that do SD / SB relationships, what did you get her for Christmas? I'm looking for ideas to round out what I've already done. So far, I got tickets for her and I to the nutcracker, high end dinner downtown, $250 Buckle gift card, $100 at her Tanning place, and $100 at her nail place. I'm looking for something tangible, discreet, that she can keep after this relationship has run its course and she can think back to the fun have had.
HJ.
[QUOTE=HawkJock;4074166]For those that state "platonic" I tend to ....[/QUOTE]Remind them that Plato was famous for buggering his students.
[QUOTE=HawkJock;4074182]I lean toward traditional SD / SB and exclusive FWB relationships on that site. I spend far more on dinners, shows, shopping trips, gift cards, travel, etc than I'd ever spend $200 at a time. [/QUOTE]Yes, loving the FWB + dash of romance dynamic with my SB. Just had a romantic pre-Christmas date: fondue in front of a roaring fireplace, champagne, Christmas music in the background, and some carefully-chosen gifts for her under the tree. Followed by a Christmas movie then an overnight for cuddles / playtime, with a leisurely morning before seeing her off until next week's date.
These types of stay-in dates are punctuated with dinner or movies out, plus trips (NYC recently, Florida upcoming this winter) that are just a blast. For the most part, on our dates and trips I can all but literally say that I enjoy every minute of her company.
My recent attempts at branching out for new SB's has turned up nothing even close to this. Could I find someone more sexually intense, yeah, no doubt. I miss that in my LTSB, but she filled so much of my bucket list when we were together that I don't mind this shift of gears.
I'm getting to the point in my life where I want to treat myself for all the hard work and bs I've had to put up with up to this point. Just out of curiosity, has anyone had any success with a sugar baby that was open to bringing another sugar baby in the mix for possible drinks and fun? Is the SB that posts Men / Women in their "Lookng for" really open to another female soaking up all the attention from her? I'm looking to string 2 maybe 3 SB's together for an unforgettable experience. What's the secret sauce in approaching this situation?