This forum has been invaluable to me, a normal guy that just wants to knock out some easy ones every once in a while, so I figured I'd give back and write my own review. It's been annoying over the past couple of days to see both the "shill" comments and, in fairness, the comments leading to the accusations of shilling, so I thought I could help set the record straight. Some background, for context, since this is my first post. I'm late 20's, professional-type career, amateur monger. Been around the block in more ways than one, so my street sense isn't lacking. But, to be honest, drugs were more often my vice of choice, so I'm a bit of a newbie in this realm. I live in Jersey now, so to keep it relevant I'll stick to my two DH experiences (though I'll say, I fucking miss my year in Europe, it's just too easy there). I figure there's many like me reading these comments up and down and wondering what's true and what's false so I figured I'd give an unbiased account of my experiences.
The comments here are pretty wide-ranging. Some of you act like soulmates exist, and yours happens to be in a so-so neighborhood in Queens working as a prostitute in a CDP. Others act like they would have been better off jerking off into an NFL lineman's game sock than spending your money at DH. I'm here to say, like all things in life, the truth is somewhere in the middle.
First time I went to DH I had almost no idea what to actually expect. I don't even know where I found their ad, but it lead me to their Tumbling Dice (Stones Beatles), which lead me to here. I rang the number before leaving my house and got no answer. Tried again and then got a text with the address and other info and more emojis than I thought were possible.
I get there and circle the block and it seems normal. Park, regretting again that I leased a nice car but all too often leave it where I shouldn't. Walk up and follow two short Latino guys up to the door. They beat me there and the gate shuts in my face but a second later it's opened by a guy who beckons me in. He stops me in the basement and takes down my number. He asks me my nationality and rather than explain the Jewish diaspora from Eastern Europe in the late 19th. Early 20th century and my mixed heritage I just say I'm American. He's not really happy with that as answer but he accepts it and says go upstairs.
I get up there and from reading the reviews I know I need to buy cards. I sit down for a second while the Latino guys from earlier finish and then I stand up and walk over to the card guy. I hand him my. 7 and get two cards. (CT guy, I don't know why some people say 30 min card and others say 2 cards, both of my times I got the two cards, they're also just playing cards, not some special thing). I get the cards and sit back down. Leidy, Gaby and a couple other women are there and a bunch of Latino guys who look just like the first two. I can't really tell who's a monger and who works there but it doesn't matter. Then I look over and see Paulina. All the women are looking at me but she's got some look on her face. And she's actually beautiful (in the face at least, I really don't understand the cartoonish plastic surgery these women get but whatever, it feels great when you're pounding 'them from behind). I make a thumbs up gesture at her and she stands up, I hand her the cards, and we go downstairs to one of the makeshift rooms. Some people here ***** about them but I didn't really care, I'm not spending the night.
When we're down there I make the mistake of saying hello in my rudimentary Spanish which causes her to start talking a mile a minute. After my pleas of "menos rapido por favor" she laughs and pushes me to the bed. I get undressed and watch her do them same. Some guys on here will give the play by play of the sex like they're writing the sort of novel Fabio would be on the cover of but I find it unnecessary, no one is reading these with their dick in their hand (at least I hope not, no PM's please). I'll just say she can suck a great dick, I didn't go for any extras but I would've loved a BBJ from her (going to try next time, probably tomorrow morning). She started off in CG but she was too good and I was pretty sure Papa doesn't get a brand new bag in this song so I pushed her off. She was amenable to multiple positions, doggy, mish, etc. When I was ready to finish I laid back down and she sucked me again then hopped on top. I should also say that during both songs she sucked / licked my balls and licked my nipples. Love that shit. Anyway, some LFK and away I went. She cleaned me up and I hopped on out of there after I tipped. As far as all time nuts go, 7/10. As far as. 7 nuts go, 10/10. I mean come on, what can we really expect.
Next time all of the same preliminary aspects happened (including the nationality discussion). I really wanted to try out Wendy but she was eating and I knew that interruption wouldn't go well. I locked eyes with Ximena and she looked absolutely stacked in her dress. Didn't see Paulina so I figured fuck it, let's ride. It went downhill from there. Again, I don't think it's necessary to go into all the details, but where Paulina acted like she was genuinely enjoying herself (and the illusion is all that matters), Ximena acted like she was at the dentist. Her plastic surgery scars are also absurd, I actually feel kinda bad for her.
Paid. 4 for BBJ which was performed with less enthusiasm than me in HS math class, then she hopped on top. Went through mish and then doggy and each time asking her to switch positions felt like a debate and she'd make these "tsk tsk" noises like I was bothering her. "Um, I'm sorry, but like, I'm paying for this nut so shut up. " I should note, I didn't verbalize that thought. Anyways, at the end I force her (that's what it felt like) to go back on top and I nutted and just got the fuck out of there. Wendy and some other smoke show were sitting there as I went out and I was pretty pissed I didn't just wait. But also, how do you guys just hang out in there for 30 minutes like some of you say? Like, do you just twiddle your thumbs or what? It's not exactly a hang out spot. I'm genuinely curious here, so if someone could tell me what that's all about it would be great. Ximena was like a 3/10, she sucked at sucking, and she was a ***** and she gave me a runny nose but her ass was great and when she pissed me off I just dogged her out as hard as possible so she put some points on the board. Wouldn't repeat, would just walk out if she was the only option in the future.
All in all for .7 plus extras / tip it's hard to beat. I'm in the boat now where I feel like I might be better off just paying $1.2/5 to an independent for the same time and they'd probably be hotter (in that they'd have less ridiculous plastic surgery), but it's more money and probably less GFE (than Paulina at least) and it's hard to want to go through all of the TOFTT aspects of it when DH is there and it's easy and it's cheap and it feels like its worth the dice roll. It's not the greatest thing since sliced bread and to be honest I really doubt a lot of the stories I read on here with all the cuddling and giggling and romantic elements, like, come on, you're in a ***** house. I don't want to call out any names, that's needless drama, but I don't know who some of you think you're fooling. On the other hand, some of you act like its a big disappointment because they don't act like they're blowing their lord and savior when they're going down on your condom-wrapped dick, number 30 of the day, for less than a Benny. DH is probably the ultimate YMMV spot and you've got to just accept that. Even with my experience with Ximena, I still nutted in some stacked chick from Colombia for about 1000 x less effort and only twice as much attitude as some chick from tinder. And I swung by the old neighborhood and grabbed lunch from Arthur Ave on my way back across the river both times, so all in all, great days.
I'm going to count this as two reviews so I'm that much closer to begging seniors for more spots. I'll post again after my next time there. Debating checking out the Hungarians instead tomorrow though.
Stay tuned.
