"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=WoodSlinger;2052313]What happened to the man? I wanted to catch up on his escapades and discovered he has posted since Dec '13. Anyone know what's up? I miss his writing style and success stories.[/QUOTE]Good wishes to Scottie in whatever he may getting himself into these days. I think about him a lot & hope all is well.

Good wishes to all my other brothers here in the bowl as well. I've had my own reasons to avoid this lifestyle lately but still hope you are all scoring huge and spreading the love far and wide.

Peace,

Chi.

[QUOTE=ChiGuy606;2052738]Good wishes to Scottie in whatever he may getting himself into these days. I think about him a lot & hope all is well.

Good wishes to all my other brothers here in the bowl as well. I've had my own reasons to avoid this lifestyle lately but still hope you are all scoring huge and spreading the love far and wide.

Peace,

Chi.[/QUOTE]I echo that sentiment. I do not know Scott's situation at all but I do know that the Sugar lifestyle is relatively short lived for a married SD. Eventually the sneaking around is discovered and unless divorce is an immediate result the SD is off the shelf struggling to repair the damage done. Many of us want to stay married for a variety of reasons, and have to work through barrels of well earned shit. This is my situation. I still dabble and keep an occasional FB but can no longer pursue a full on SB search. The antennae are up and suspicion is high and every move is monitored. What a life -eh?

So this is why I encourage guys dabbling in the bowl to be absolutely sure that they want to take that 1st step down a road that will inevitably end up in a world of hurt. Now the single guys have it made although some, like JL, have GFs who will bolt if any hint of sugar participation comes out.

So guys who have quit did so IMHO because 1) they were busted by the SO 2) they are trying to repair a broken relationship 3) not enough $$ to play anymore 4) they aged out ad are just not attractive enough or able to pursue young Babies 5) can't sexually perform anymore due to health issues.

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2053059]I echo that sentiment. I do not know Scott's situation at all but I do know that the Sugar lifestyle is relatively short lived for a married SD. Eventually the sneaking around is discovered and unless divorce is an immediate result the SD is off the shelf struggling to repair the damage done. Many of us want to stay married for a variety of reasons, and have to work through barrels of well earned shit. This is my situation. I still dabble and keep an occasional FB but can no longer pursue a full on SB search. The antennae are up and suspicion is high and every move is monitored. What a life -eh?

So this is why I encourage guys dabbling in the bowl to be absolutely sure that they want to take that 1st step down a road that will inevitably end up in a world of hurt. Now the single guys have it made although some, like JL, have GFs who will bolt if any hint of sugar participation comes out.

So guys who have quit did so IMHO because 1) they were busted by the SO 2) they are trying to repair a broken relationship 3) not enough $$ to play anymore 4) they aged out ad are just not attractive enough or able to pursue young Babies 5) can't sexually perform anymore due to health issues.[/QUOTE]Even though I was busted last fall, it seems as though my barrel of shit may not be as deep as yours. Combine that with a flexible business hours work schedule and that is what allows for my playtime. Mind you, that is much more limited than most here on the board. Nights out or sleep overs are usually only possible on a very limited bases, maybe a couple of times per month. Unfortunately, I don't travel for work which leaves my activity area close enough to home for a daytime get together. That is part of what was so painful about Baby1's timing of ending it. She had been pushing for a sleep over, actually getting upset that I always need to wrap things up at the end of the work day. With my SO's "antennae up" that opportunity hadn't been possible until literally the day after Baby1 ended it. They say in life, timing is everything, and that sucked.

With Baby1 out of the picture, I upgraded my sd4 m account and started sending out a personalized form letter. I've gotten a decent response. So far, additional pics that I've received killed it for a few, 1 smoking hot new pot who went dark the day before the m&g, and a couple more who were only available nights and weekends. I'm thinking of contacting pots that are outside of my area or interest and working it a bit just to get my SD legs under me as the number of acceptable pots in my area are limited.

There has been some talk about how different the SB scene is in different locations. I applied my search criteria to a zip code on Hollywood Blvd for comparison purposes. All I can say is WOW! What a difference. I'm in a fairly large market, but I netted 5 times the matches in Hollywood. What was even more striking was the quality of those matches, at face value at least. So far I've been interested in contacting 38% of the matches in my area based upon looks alone. Just taking a stab at a number, but it looks closer to 80% there. Lot's of young beautiful women looking for fame and fortune. So as the bum said in Pretty Woman, "Hollywood, Hollywood, what's your dream?" Apparently it's to be a SB.

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2053059]I echo that sentiment. I do not know Scott's situation at all but I do know that the Sugar lifestyle is relatively short lived for a married SD. Eventually the sneaking around is discovered and unless divorce is an immediate result the SD is off the shelf struggling to repair the damage done. Many of us want to stay married for a variety of reasons, and have to work through barrels of well earned shit. This is my situation. I still dabble and keep an occasional FB but can no longer pursue a full on SB search. The antennae are up and suspicion is high and every move is monitored. What a life -eh?

So this is why I encourage guys dabbling in the bowl to be absolutely sure that they want to take that 1st step down a road that will inevitably end up in a world of hurt. Now the single guys have it made although some, like JL, have GFs who will bolt if any hint of sugar participation comes out.

So guys who have quit did so IMHO because 1) they were busted by the SO 2) they are trying to repair a broken relationship 3) not enough $$ to play anymore 4) they aged out ad are just not attractive enough or able to pursue young Babies 5) can't sexually perform anymore due to health issues.[/QUOTE]Great points, and I've been thinking a lot about this lately, as my GF is back, the memories of my SBs are now almost 2 weeks old (1-2 weeks is my typical 'return to reality' recovery time) and even my relationship with her is starting to feel back to normal. This morning when we woke up, I looked at how my GF looks when she rolls out of bed with no makeup on and I remember one of the reasons I fell for her in the first place.

I think for the sake of our own happiness, we have to ask ourselves realistically where we want to be during the final years of our life, alone, as an ATM machine for a young hooker, or with a partner that actually gives a shit about us. It doesn't mean a little bit of fun can't take place in the interim, but we have to remember it's an extremely addictive hobby to fuck young / hot ladies -- however is it sustainable and can it really be the end game? For me, it cannot be either. I make a decent living but I could never afford to live every month like one of my typical "Daddy Vacation Months". I would have enough disposable income, at least for now during my high-earning years, to have lots of fun but I also have the issue to deal with of my financial sensibilities working against my libido, and I do have long-term financial goals to meet. Historically when I find myself having too much fun, my id balances out my ego and reminds me that all things come at a cost and that I need to remain aware of the true risks / rewards involved.

If I lived alone I could do things like share space in my house in exchange for sex, etc. But I know this would not be as fulfilling as my annual daddy vacation, because unless the lady is someone I can generally be buddies with, watch movies / TV etc (which is one important role my GF fulfills), sex alone is not enough motivation for me to let someone be around me every day. For that reason, even when I was single, I typically focused on finding a meaningful partner and someone who would CONTRIBUTE to the total financial picture rather than just place a drain on it. I once even had a friend-with-benefits who was every bit as hot as the SBs I date now, Asian nurse with a smoking body, sex drive that would not quit and a good career... She started a new job near me and was having a tough job finding a room and wanted to pay me $600/ mo to be my roommate, plus of course easy access to the benefits I was already enjoying. Problem was I was just starting another relationship at the time, I really didn't need the money, and while I liked this girl a lot as a friend, I didn't view her personality as GF material (she would drive me nuts) and I saw letting her live with me as getting locked into something that I didn't want in my life (it would only make it hard to date others).

I have already thought a lot about how things might pan out if I got busted. I don't think my GF would leave me because on the overall meter of who-owes-who, you could say she owes me a big one because of some forgiveness about a situation that took place many years ago. But, I also know it would be years before I fully heard the end of it, and for that reason I might end up sending her packing just so that I don't have to deal with the collateral damage and aftermath. It is absolutely a situation I want to avoid at all costs. Just in the last few weeks, I found no less than three POTs that I really wanted to fuck, and that assured me the highest level of discretion, but they had ties to family or friends that were very close to my home, so for that reason I told them it is too small of a world and that I would not meet them because I don't want any awkward moments down the road. Even when they promised me they were experienced at being a paramour, I know from past experience that the emotions of a young lady are something nobody can predict (and taking her at her word that you can trust her secrecy is foolish). Also remember that once she knows that discretion is not something you want, but something you desperately need, she is in a position to use that as leverage against you to get what she wants at some point (if she is that type of person. Some SBs have a heart of gold but you cannot count on it).

I have seriously considered joining Ashley Madison and looking for someone married who has more to lose than I do, just for the occasional discrete hookup. I have not yet been able to motivate myself to do this, but maybe some of you have tried or considered this route. My problem with it is that I have this vision in my mind of horny cougar housewives who are not in the same hotness league as the younger SBs I've been having fun with, but I don't doubt there are some real gems out there to be mined. Its like any other game, takes practice and determination I'm sure.

The optimal circumstance for an SD is an out of town travel schedule. Playing at home is hard to do since it is hard to explain hours off the grid or sightings in public by friends of the "family" Once you are busted it becomes necessary to account for your movements if your SO calls / texts and expects an answer. That dreaded "where are / were you? " turns my blood cold.

Ashley Madison is well covered here, so check out the history JL. Briefly, I have had zero luck as have most of the brothers. You have to be younger and "date " worthy for a cougar. There are some young hotties but they are pickier due to the huge male / female discrepancy and motivation is less since they generally are not looking for money. There are exceptions like in everything. Some singles are SBs in disguise.

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2053059] Many of us want to stay married for a variety of reasons, and have to work through barrels of well earned shit. This is my situation. I still dabble and keep an occasional FB but can no longer pursue a full on SB search. The antennae are up and suspicion is high and every move is monitored. What a life -eh?
[/QUOTE]This pretty much explains my situation right now exactly.

I have 2 leftovers from when I was fully in the bowl, and they are both wonderful women to be able to let me see them on a very occasional basis. Other than that, I can no longer afford the time to be fully invested in the bowl like I was last year.

Even if I never return, I will take with me memories that will last me my whole life. It truly was one hell of a ride while it lasted!

[QUOTE=FredMoore;2053328]The optimal circumstance for an SD is an out of town travel schedule. Playing at home is hard to do since it is hard to explain hours off the grid or sightings in public by friends of the "family" Once you are busted it becomes necessary to account for your movements if your SO calls / texts and expects an answer. That dreaded "where are / were you? " turns my blood cold.

Ashley Madison is well covered here, so check out the history JL. Briefly, I have had zero luck as have most of the brothers. You have to be younger and "date " worthy for a cougar. There are some young hotties but they are pickier due to the huge male / female discrepancy and motivation is less since they generally are not looking for money. There are exceptions like in everything. Some singles are SBs in disguise.[/QUOTE]One of the things that I've had to do is set the expectation of communication in the wake of last years discovery. Ignore her call and get back to her a couple of hours later when you have an ironclad alibi (out with mutual friends, etc). Do this from time to time. Blame it on the ringer, cell service, ambient noise, whatever. It becomes more of the norm and lessons her anxiety when you don't pick up or get back to her right away. After a month or two, you'll feel comfortable enough for play time and she won't go ballistic when you don't pick up.

Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?

[QUOTE=LoriTruck;2053659]Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?[/QUOTE]I would have to ask you..."Does she have any of your personal information?" Your real name...cell number? Did you cover your tracks at all? Use a burner email? Phone? That's what I do...and connect to the internet for your hunting and connecting via a private anonymous VPN?

I would venture to say that you probably did not cover all of your bases and if push came to shove she could get the courts to subpoena IP information, cell records etc.

Tough position I would never want to be in..makes me regret the few times that I too went bareback with a SB.

[QUOTE=LoriTruck;2053659]Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?[/QUOTE]Delicate situation indeed, the lying and the game playing so far would give me great concern. I would start slowly building a story of my own that would help to separate me from the situation. Some sort of job or health related tragedy that unfolds slowly over time but basically sends a message to her that you will probably be bankrupt or disabled going forward (I.e. Not a good extortion target).

How much does she know about you (real name, etc)?

[QUOTE=WoodSlinger;2053749]I would have to ask you..."Does she have any of your personal information?" Your real name...cell number? Did you cover your tracks at all? Use a burner email? Phone? That's what I do...and connect to the internet for your hunting and connecting via a private anonymous VPN?

I would venture to say that you probably did not cover all of your bases and if push came to shove she could get the courts to subpoena IP information, cell records etc.

Tough position I would never want to be in..makes me regret the few times that I too went bareback with a SB.[/QUOTE]I basically screwed my self on this one. She has my real name (first & last,) cell (not the bootleg # and the city & state that I call home. I pulled out each time but that didn't do any good. I have sent her countless pictures, texts, & had endless conversations when we first met. You know how when you first meet and get the digits? You send a face pic, chest pic, shower pic etc... She has everything she needs to tarnish my clean slate that I had going. 30 years old, steady job, no kids you name it. Now I'm at her mercy.

[QUOTE=LoriTruck;2053659]Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?[/QUOTE]If she runs into trouble and uses any social services in her state, that agency will reach out to your state agency, they will reach out to you, and you will be the newest member of the "cha-ching" tribe.

[QUOTE=Whathesaid;2053883]If she runs into trouble and uses any social services in her state, that agency will reach out to your state agency, they will reach out to you, and you will be the newest member of the "cha-ching" tribe.[/QUOTE]Girls are often times wrong about who deposited the magic potion. The DNA test will exclude LoriTruck unless he or his identical twin brother happens to be the Daddy.

[QUOTE=LoriTruck;2053777]I basically screwed my self on this one. She has my real name (first & last,) cell (not the bootleg # and the city & state that I call home. I pulled out each time but that didn't do any good. I have sent her countless pictures, texts, & had endless conversations when we first met. You know how when you first meet and get the digits? You send a face pic, chest pic, shower pic etc... She has everything she needs to tarnish my clean slate that I had going. 30 years old, steady job, no kids you name it. Now I'm at her mercy.[/QUOTE]Well don't let her know that. You also might just want to lay low, if she comes after you..get a paternity test. You might not be the one that was actually dumping their nuts in her.

[QUOTE=LoriTruck;2053659]Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?[/QUOTE]Hope that she is not a scammer and that she can handle this baby on her own. Since she lives so far away and I'm guessing you don't see her that often the odds are good that she has another (s) regular guys in her life and that someone else is the baby daddy. She will go to someone for child support, why wouldn't she? Since she isn't hitting you up she probably knows you aren't the Daddy. If she asks for support at least you can demand a paternity test.