More Truths about Strippers
Here are some truths about strippers:
A strippers definition of a four year degree from a major college is: Year 1 University of Phoenix, Year 2 Brown Mackie College, Year 3 Harrison College, and finishing up Year 4 at Ivy Tech. This of course is only true if they can get their GED, spelled Genral Edukashun Digree.
The only good sex is makeup sex. This of course is after a fight with their boyfriend who hit her. The sex is so good because she realizes he truly does love her.
Strippers boyfriends are always looking for a job can’t find one, too busy to get one, but, they expect the stripper to pay for everything. This is true because they really love them and care about them.
They think all men who go to strip clubs are after one thing, free sex, yet they pay their boyfriends for sex by supporting them.
Always believe it when she tells you she hasn’t had sex for weeks and really needs to go to the VIP room and get some release. Of course she is multiple orgasmic and you can tell they are real. That’s the only reason she doesn’t want to stop.
If a stripper tells you she needs money for a car payment, sitter, rent, utilities, cell phone bill, their sick mother, to bury their pet or buy a new outfit, you should believe them, ask how much they need to get by, and give it to her. Of course this is only if she promises to meet you tomorrow, outside of work, so she can show you her appreciation for the loan.
While getting a private dance she whispers to you, “You are the only one who has ever turned me on this way in the back, so please keep going and don’t stop”. This is true unless of course you need to use the ATM.
After spending hours in the VIP room with the promise of their phone number, when you call the number, it has either been disconnected or it’s the local substance abuse hotline because it’s the only telephone number they know by heart.
Strippers girlfriends and managers are such liars. Her girlfriends at work tell you they are always talking to her on the phone. The manager said she just called in because she is running late. You know these are lies because she tells you about having trouble with her phone and that's why she hasn’t been getting your text messages, phone calls or voice mails.
She tells you she really is looking for someone to be a FWB. She wants to talk about this later after some dances in the VIP room. Afterwards she gives you her girlfriends number and tells you to make sure it’s ok with her.
Strippers are always single, never married or have boyfriends/girlfriends. This is why they are always willing to meet you outside the club.
You know you will have a good time in the VIP room when they come over and tell you “I promise you the best dance you have ever had in your life”.
You know it’s a sure thing in the VIP room when they tell you “How about a dance and I promise you a happy ending”.
Strippers never start any Drama; it’s sold to them when they buy strippers clothes.
FF
PS. Strippers with freckles never have the above problems.
Long Time Listener, First Time Caller
Hello, Gents!
This is my first post on this board, but I have followed you all for a long time. Figured its finally time that I put my portly prose to work.
Had occasion for a night out, which is a rarity, and happened upon HH around shift change time and beyond. I was by myself this night, and without my companions, who expect me to be the life of the party, I tended to sit in the background and watch. After a while, I was approached by a very cute and attractive MILF type named H****. I have been around long enough to know that the stories about the and the cousins are true, but hadn't heard much about H. She gave a dollar dance to die for and asked if I wanted more. Ummm, yeah! So we headed to the back and got quite a ride. Her a$$ is spectacular and she knows how to use it. She is especially effective in using her nice tits to massage the most sensitive of areas. During the peak of grinding, I have no doubt that she finished before I did. After 3 songs, me and my trusty sword, "Balizarde" were ready for the final battle, but alas she was spent and her time was up. Next time, as we have unfinished business.
All for one and one for all.
Went to BBF alone Saturday night.
Place was packed. Got a long private from a really hot, young one, that indicated some potential for outside play after I needled her a bit. Got a number, haven't confirmed it yet (what are the odds, really?) and don't have any idea what the investment will be, but if the stars align, maybe, just maybe, I can actually contribute to pay back some of the Seniors who've turned me on to some good ones here. No names yet, so don't ask, but I will say she's far hotter than anyone I've seen locally yet. By a mile. We'll see if it comes to fruition and if the performance can match the looks.
TA2
Nice way to unwind on a HUMP DAY
[QUOTE=Chill Pill]Titties and Beer, only Rodney Carrington said it better. Another great evening w/ Handfullofwheel and TonyLove at BBF. Couldn't turn down an invite to see the gorgeous ladies, tip a few beers and tip a lot of beautiful ladies. Saw a lot of new ones most of which I can't remember their names. Spent a lot of time w/ my ATF on my lap and that makes me very happy. Names that do stand out, Lexi, Amay(used to dance at Babes), Amaya?, Zoya, Heidi (takeout available), Lena(a classic "hands on experience") and the always cute Kelly and her cousin. Almost felt like a family reunion w/ the cousin thing. Several times HFW and Tony literally crawled to the stage in delight while I even managed to get on my old decrepit knees on top of the stage table and dance like the idiot I am. Sort like shades of several weeks ago when I put on Olivia's ghetto shorts and gave her a lap dance. I even got tipped 7 bucks for that. Of course being the chivalrous man that I am I gave Olivia the money. He, he. A trip to the Hip Hugger was discussed and the motion passed unamamously.[/QUOTE]hooked up with HOW and Chill. I had met Chill before, but hadn't really spent much time talking. Again, Chill thanks for the beer. The beer was cold and the ladies hot. Talent was a little off the norm. But the three of us made a good time of it. I had to cut out early. Kelly, what a knock-out! Hip Hugger it is. Anyone interested?