Q. Why did the executive hire the prostitute to be his secretary?
A. On her application, where it said 'last position', she wrote 'doggie style'!
Printable View
Q. Why did the executive hire the prostitute to be his secretary?
A. On her application, where it said 'last position', she wrote 'doggie style'!
Bad Humor
Golf Hazard
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asked him what happened.
"Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
"We went to look for it and, while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball ... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake," said the man.
"What did you do?", asked the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge
Around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up
To maximum speed on the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the
Other residents tolerated her and osme them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and
Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm out-streached. 'Stop! ' he
Shouted in a firm voice.
“Have you got license for that thing? Ethel fished around in
Her handbag and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper and held it
Up to him. 'Ok' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lunge on one wheel,
Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted STOP! Have you
Got proof of insurance?
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up
To him. Harold nodded and said ' Go on ma'am. '
As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front
Of her, Butt-Naked, and holding his You-Know-What in his hand. Oh
Good grief, yelled Ethel, Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.
Her tit job is so bad it is funny... poor girl.
[url]http://miami.backpage.com/adult/classifieds/ViewAd?oid=oid%3A1725900&name=female%20escorts[/url]
[QUOTE=Gorilla69]Her tit job is so bad it is funny... poor girl.
[url]http://miami.backpage.com/adult/classifieds/ViewAd?oid=oid%3A1725900&name=female%20escorts[/url][/QUOTE]Damn. That's fucked up.
Dude looks like a lady. Wearing boxers and all covered. Shower looks tucked. Must have traded for thoses titties. Nasty.
Bad Humor
The Fence
A guy and his girlfriend are walking home from the bar one night and start having sex up against a fence.
Suddenly the fence gives way and they both fall into a garden.
The owner of the house comes out, looks at them and says, "You're gonna pay for that!"
The guy says to his girlfriend, "What do you think, wanna go halves on the cost?"
"Why should I pay?" says his girlfriend. "I was pushing the other way!"
[QUOTE=Sexybldbbwfl]Dude looks like a lady. Wearing boxers and all covered. Shower looks tucked. Must have traded for thoses titties. Nasty.[/QUOTE]What the hell does this mean if anything.
DETROIT -- A Detroit bus driver was arrested after allegedly trying to pick up a prostitute while driving special-needs children to school on Wednesday morning.
The 30-year-old man was arrested after he drove the bus up to a decoy officer posing as a prostitute working in the area of Telegraph and Grand River roads and inquired about having sex with her, police said.
Police said at the time, the driver only had one child on the bus. He told the decoy officer he would be right back, said police.
Police said a few moments later he returned with three more special needs children on the bus and offered to pay the officer to have sex with him.
The driver handed the decoy officer a paper with his name and phone number, police said.
The driver was arrested on the spot around 7 a.m. on Wednesday.
"At the end of the day, this is certainly not somebody that ought to be driving a school bus," said Evans.
The Wayne County Prosecutor's Office may pursue charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and child endangerment and a misdemeanor charge for offering to engage in prostitution.
Police said the driver had planned on dropping off the four special needs children, ages 5 to 9 years old at McKenney elementary school on Evergreen Road and return to have sex.
The deputies took the children from the bus and drove them to school. The principal helped deputies to personally notify each of the children's parents.
"In my 35 years in law enforcement, I've seen a lot of outrageous things, particularly in the area of prostitution," said Wayne County Sheriff Warren C. Evans. "But the very idea that someone entrusted with the safety and security of special-needs children would instead put his own selfish and illicit needs first, blows my mind."
From [url]http://www.ClickOnDetroit.com/news/14891316/detail.html[/url] (December 19, 2007) -- ClickOnDetroit.com
========
This story is both sad and funny. Too bad there's no video footage of this that can be aired on the tv show "Cops."
[QUOTE=SgtPerv][quote=Sexybldbbwfl]Dude looks like a lady. Wearing boxers and all covered. Shower looks tucked. Must have traded for thoses titties. Nasty.[/quote]What the hell does this mean if anything.[/QUOTE]
Let's parse out what she said and see if we can figure out what it means:
[b]Dude looks like a lady. [/b]
The picture is possibly that of a gentleman dressing up as a female.
[b]Wearing boxers and all covered. [/b]
He/she is wearing boxer shorts in one of the pictures and that covers up the crotch and makes it difficult to tell if the person in question is male or female.
[b]Shower looks tucked. [/b]
In one of the photos, the person is in the shower and it appears as if it is a male who has "tucked" his penis and testicles between his legs to appear as if he had no external genitalia.
[b]Must have traded for thoses titties. [/b]
The breast enhancement surgery was so poorly done that the person must have paid very little, or even exchanged goods or services other than cash.
[b]Nasty.[/b]
Self-explanatory.
Now, the only thing that shoots down the idea that the woman in the picture may actually be a transsexual is the fact that in [url=http://imagesa.backpage.com/centralimages/bpb/18/1896c3e71f9c418ad2c1c6bc1822bb33--3--DSCN1778JPG--large.jpg]this picture[/url] you can see her cooter.
[QUOTE=KC Questor]Let's parse out what she said and see if we can figure out what it means:
[b]Dude looks like a lady. [/b]
The picture is possibly that of a gentleman dressing up as a female.
[b]Wearing boxers and all covered. [/b]
He/she is wearing boxer shorts in one of the pictures and that covers up the crotch and makes it difficult to tell if the person in question is male or female.
[b]Shower looks tucked. [/b]
In one of the photos, the person is in the shower and it appears as if it is a male who has "tucked" his penis and testicles between his legs to appear as if he had no external genitalia.
[b]Must have traded for thoses titties. [/b]
The breast enhancement surgery was so poorly done that the person must have paid very little, or even exchanged goods or services other than cash.
[b]Nasty.[/b]
Self-explanatory.
Now, the only thing that shoots down the idea that the woman in the picture may actually be a transsexual is the fact that in [url=http://imagesa.backpage.com/centralimages/bpb/18/1896c3e71f9c418ad2c1c6bc1822bb33--3--DSCN1778JPG--large.jpg]this picture[/url] you can see her cooter.[/QUOTE]Deb I can't believe someone needed an explanation but I enjoyed reading it. I thought it was all self explanatory. In the end, this does appear to be a woman after close look at the beaver post, she quite possibly could make more money posing as a male escort if she considered removing the grapefruit velcro on job boobies and having the addadictomy surgery.
[QUOTE=KC Questor]Let's parse out what she said and see if we can figure out what it means:
[b]Dude looks like a lady. [/b]
The picture is possibly that of a gentleman dressing up as a female.
[b]Wearing boxers and all covered. [/b]
He/she is wearing boxer shorts in one of the pictures and that covers up the crotch and makes it difficult to tell if the person in question is male or female.
[b]Shower looks tucked. [/b]
In one of the photos, the person is in the shower and it appears as if it is a male who has "tucked" his penis and testicles between his legs to appear as if he had no external genitalia.
[b]Must have traded for thoses titties. [/b]
The breast enhancement surgery was so poorly done that the person must have paid very little, or even exchanged goods or services other than cash.
[b]Nasty.[/b]
Self-explanatory.
Now, the only thing that shoots down the idea that the woman in the picture may actually be a transsexual is the fact that in [url=http://imagesa.backpage.com/centralimages/bpb/18/1896c3e71f9c418ad2c1c6bc1822bb33--3--DSCN1778JPG--large.jpg]this picture[/url] you can see her cooter.[/QUOTE]Getting slow in my old age. Not up with the street lingo.
Here's a reaction from an old lady after watching the 2 girls 1 cup video recently posted in Anal Connoisseurs:
[url]http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=1113[/url]
A guy had an interesting experience recently involving an "older" woman he met at a bar.
She looked pretty darn HOT for 62. She was drinking quite a bit and, while they were chatting, she came right out and asked him if he'd ever had a "sportsman's double" - a mother and daughter threesome.
He said no, but she might be able to talk him into it.
So she slams back one last drink, wipes her mouth and, looking directly into his eyes, says, "Tonight's your lucky night."
So they go back to her place, she clicks on the hall light right as they enter her place, and she shouts upstairs:
"Mom! You still awake?"
[url]http://www.yuvutu.com/modules.php?name=Video&op=view&video_id=138846[/url]