"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1408463]Gentlemen,

Polo and I are set for Friday! She texted me this morning to tell me that while she was shaving (her legs, I'm guessing, right?) she thought of me and couldn't wait for tomorrow. She also stated that she had a few new yoga positions that she wanted to try out with me. I can't quite believe there is anything new to do, but I am excited to see what she has in mind. I checked, and my health insurance is all paid up, so I'm good to go. Unfortunately, I am totally swamped at work, and so will not be able to luxuriate with her this time like before, but [I]some[/I] Time with her is better than none. I dream about her soft skin and thick chestnut hair.

As for ATF, we have a date set for Monday. She has indicated that her roommate is out of town visiting parents, so whatever is planned will either begin or end in bed, possibly both. Hooray, and hooray! Hopefully the beautiful, if unseasonal, weather we have been enjoying will hold, and we can spend some time outdoors. She is an avid cyclist, an interest I also share, so a long bike ride up the lakefront, followed by a fantastic lunch somewhere, followed by some Good Lovin' sounds like a day well spent, no?

On other fronts, hang in there, Magic. She will either come back to you or she won't, in which case we are here to help you grieve. Joe, you did the right thing, and as has been said already, you did not abandon anything more than a massive train wreck. Good job. Goga, good luck to you with your first forays into the SB world. You will have some failures, some near failures, and hopefully soon some success. Be patient, be honest with yourself and these little fish, and you will have a great time. There is nothing like it, trust me.

Take care, my brothers, and keep in touch.

Scott[/QUOTE]Thanks Scott. I look for the comments and feedback. I have my first date setup for Monday. And hope that happens. Asking more than I was expected. Being new. Have no idea. Plus shy. Where do you take SB for dinner when you know. That you could end up meeting someone you know (friends)? Rest. The knowledge here helped me to get on track. Also. Ya. Lots of rejection or winks but no followups.

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1408138]I believe the consensus on this is that there is no need to bring anything to the first M&G, but unless the baby has ordered already, I always pay for her coffee. If there is a followup for drinks or dinner, for example, some small token is not a bad idea. Hope this reply came in time. Let us know how things went.

Scott[/QUOTE]The first meeting with SB went well, ended up with dinner, that's all. Very professional. Didn't know what is coming. First time nervousness. Yes, I did give a small gift. As I wanted to get A+ on my first date. Anyway, I didn't find comments about the first date guideline much so. Went for it.

I hope to go for second date. Soon. Next week. Will post the update soon.

[url]http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/-Sugar-Daddies-Paying-Tuition-For-College-Women/-/1719418/2667702/-/u8674xz/-/index.html[/url]

[QUOTE=Castlerae; 1408603So why would a woman think a potential SD would drive that far?[/QUOTE]Occasionally I am contacted by out of town SD's and my first response is always,"I see you don't live here, do you travel here often for work". It's my polite way of saying, I'm not traveling to you. While I've started to travel a little bit, I really don't like to if I've not met the SD before. It's just a safety thing.

If you're not interested in traveling you may want to change your profile to say something like "only looking for a SB in this area". I know I see that a lot in profiles. So if yours isn't marked that way, it may be a bit of a signal that you're willing to either absorb the cost of bringing her to you or travel to her.

Hope that helps,

Mandy

I wanted to thank everyone again for the many insightful comments on my various questions over the last week. You've all given me much to ponder, even when we don't all agree. It will certainly help me hone my interviewing skills, and I am hopeful it will make me a better employer.

A quick update at the end of week one: I've conducted a second interview with potential employee #1, a late 20s cutie who is a lot of fun to be around. We both were nervous the first time, but that seemed to wear off as our second M&G progressed. The evening ended with an invitation back to her place, where we made out like teenagers. This one has excellent potential. Hoping for a third (and hopefully final) interview tomorrow, after which I will think carefully about whether to keep her on the company payroll.

I had a first interview set with #2 tonight but had to cancel because of work duties. She is open to trying again next week.

Finally, I received a promising response from an 18yo student. Her profile pics look gorgeous, but I will need to be careful with her. She has asked already for an agreement to an amount that I find unrealistic. I am not sure I will be able to arrange an interview with her, though it won't be for a lack of trying.

I read your blog early in my Sugar Journey and am fascinated by your unique take on the lifestyle. I think it will be good for us to have the perspective of a Sugar Baby and any advice is always welcome. As you well know guys need all the help we can get. And any friend of Scotts is a friend indeed.

I have many questions for you and perhaps I need to go back and reread your blog, but primarily, do you enjoy a passionate and loving relationship with your husband or is that part of the marriage missing, therefore leading to seeking passion with others?

[QUOTE=Hernando;1408955]primarily, do you enjoy a passionate and loving relationship with your husband or is that part of the marriage missing, therefore leading to seeking passion with others?[/QUOTE]Hernando, great question! Although I refrain from writing about my husband in my blog, we do have a great supportive, loving and caring marriage and we still play with each other. It's not as passionate as it was when we first met, but we've been together for almost 11 years now.

We decided to venture into an open marriage because for a while we played in the swingers lifestyle and just found that being the "young, barbie doll couple" in that world means that drama follows you whether you want it to or not. So, we withdrew from it but we still both very much enjoyed seeing the other happy to go do what they wanted and that just evolved into an open marriage. Right now, it really works well for us because we live apart while I'm in school. Career wise it didn't make sense for him to move until I'm done and we know where I'm going to end up working.

The only thing I will say that is missing from my marriage that I find in the "sugar world" is that mentor aspect. As you can see on my blog, my sugar daddies have all been very affluent, educated and successful. I love engaging in conversation and learning from them. While my husband is successful in his own right and I'm very proud of him, it's not in the corporate world.

And, for those of you curious. He has a girlfriend (not an SB) as well. A cute little 20 something who I will admit is the exact opposite of me. She is very sweet and respectful of our marriage and I was really happy for him when he finally found someone. I know, not something you would typically hear from the wife.

Thanks for reading!

Mandy

I do want to thank you all for providing much more interesting reading for my spring break than the "prep-work" that I should be doing before classes start next week. But, you've made me think of a question that I have for you.

Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dead Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy

[QUOTE=Hernando;1408955]I think it will be good for us to have the perspective of a Sugar Baby and any advice is always welcome. As you well know guys need all the help we can get.[/QUOTE]I second this completely. Mandy's comments to Castle and Magic were insightful and to the point, in my opinion. We daddies can speculate on a baby's behavior all we want; there is no substitute for the real thing telling it like it is. (whoa, I feel like I'm channeling dialogue from Shaft!)

Peace, my brothers. At this time tomorrow I will be limping back to my desk after a thorough pummeling by my lovely Polo.

Cheers,

Scott

Hey, 200 posts! Drinks are on me!

As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.

[QUOTE=Gogababa;1408645]Thanks Scott. I look for the comments and feedback. I have my first date setup for Monday. And hope that happens. Asking more than I was expected. Being new. Have no idea. Plus shy. Where do you take SB for dinner when you know. That you could end up meeting someone you know (friends)? Rest. The knowledge here helped me to get on track. Also. Ya. Lots of rejection or winks but no followups.[/QUOTE]It's probably the best advice that I've read on a sugar blog. Take her anywhere you like. My particular favorites are nice steak / seafood places. But have a story lined up for that just in case encounter with someone who knows you. The story for my first SD was that I was the wife of an old friend of his and we were waiting for him to show up. If the person he knew lingered, I was supposed to fake a text that explained he got caught up at work and wouldn't be able to join us. It was a story he created, shared with me and thank god we never had to use it.

Good luck on the date!

Mandy

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409040]Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dear Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy[/QUOTE]Speaking for myself, I am under no delusion that any baby I see won't probably have something else going on on the side, but I guess I just don't want to know about it. We have discussed the concept of "monogamy" many times here, and there are as many interpretations of the word as there are SDs. In my mind, it comes down to this: should we expect something from our babies, or you from your daddies, that we are not willing to abide by ourselves? Or conversely, should we expect something of ourselves that we do not ask of our babies? For a while, I was trying to be monogamous with my ATF, even though she had not asked it of me, nor had we even discussed it. It was like I had put myself on double secret probation for no reason, and it was creating a great deal of anxiety for me, because for some reason I also assumed she would do the same. Once I let it go, I felt a lot better about where my imagination was going about what she might be doing when I couldn't get together with my ATF.

The truth for most of us, who are married but in a more traditional arrangement, is that any time spent with our babies is special,"stolen" time, ATF calls it her "vacation", and shouldn't be cluttered up with tangled emotions and hurt feelings. No need to mention other SDs, nor ask about other babies. I can't see it leading anywhere good. Preserve the illusion, Mandy, for yourself and your SDs, and let the time you spend with them be only about the two of you. From your blog, I sense that you are pretty good at doing that. Nando, you had better weigh in on this as well, my brother, as I know you struggle with this issue with your HCB.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Scott

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409128]It's probably the best advice that I've read on a sugar blog. Take her anywhere you like. My particular favorites are nice steak / seafood places. But have a story lined up for that just in case encounter with someone who knows you. The story for my first SD was that I was the wife of an old friend of his and we were waiting for him to show up. If the person he knew lingered, I was supposed to fake a text that explained he got caught up at work and wouldn't be able to join us. It was a story he created, shared with me and thank god we never had to use it.

Good luck on the date!

Mandy[/QUOTE]You all are wonderful to guide me through this. I am excited about next week. Preparing myself. This was a great advise.

Will update next week. With my detail. Scott: Good luck for tomorrow. Waiting for updates.

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1408869]Occasionally I am contacted by out of town SD's and my first response is always,"I see you don't live here, do you travel here often for work". It's my polite way of saying, I'm not traveling to you. While I've started to travel a little bit, I really don't like to if I've not met the SD before. It's just a safety thing.

If you're not interested in traveling you may want to change your profile to say something like "only looking for a SB in this area". I know I see that a lot in profiles. So if yours isn't marked that way, it may be a bit of a signal that you're willing to either absorb the cost of bringing her to you or travel to her.

Hope that helps,

Mandy[/QUOTE]Thanks for the advice, Mandy. I left the distance open on my profile because I wanted to give myself the option of accessing all the SB's in the Chicago suburbs. So far, none have really stood out, so maybe it's time to accept reality and keep the 'shopping' local.

To answer your question about whether I'm going to demand / expect a SB to just see me, I don't think so. What she might do is something I can't monitor unless I find one who wants to move in with me, which I don't see happening. So as long as everything is working out while we're together, what she does away from me is not my concern.

[QUOTE=Spitfire; 1409101]As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.[/QUOTE]Good luck with this, Spit. Just out of curiosity, where do you see this headed, long term?

Scott

I agree with Scott on this one. Hot and heavy at this point with SB1 who has decided to make me her priority 1. Meaning as my schedule moves she moves her as well. With significant gyrations. To make time regardless. But I am not available on weekends, I am not available to party with her friends, and I am home most of the time in my normal environment where she does not belong. So she looks for other ways to fill her time. I just don't ask as no sense in making her lie or otherwise be uncomfortable. It has taken me a few months now to get to this point but it is the only way to reach equilibrium.

Funny story. Met SB1 for dinner this week and she talked all about her circle of friends involved in older men / younger women before anything like SA or SD. Then went to a bar where one of her friends, HYB but nuts, gets me aside trying to "interview" me on my suitability as a SD (background, employment). I am squirming like hell until SB1 realizes what is going on and drops the hammer. Man it's a crazy world.

" SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this." mandy

To bring you up to speed on my situation Mandy, I am married and am not sexually active with her. I have a "long term " SB of 10 months and we love each other .as much as a 24 yr old can love a 60 yr old I guess. We see each other two overnights / week, sometimes three. She does not need my Sugar to live on. I absolutely expect Monogamy from her and give it in return. It would be a deal breaker for me if I discovered she was sleeping with other men-primarily because of the way our relationship has evolved.that is.being emotionally involved. As Scott said, it makes for more angst and anxiety wondering about her activities when we are not together and I wish I could not care, but the fact is.I do. I have seen many Pros and quite a few SB / semi pros and have had no problem being in the booty line with them, but this girl is different for me.

For me, the allure of a SD / SB relationship is that special emotional connection that sets it apart from a hooker / John one. If I want sex I can go to an escort and leave with no E-concerns. So.in your case, if I invested a significant amount of time, energy, money, and emotion in you, I would expect monogamy. My Sb has loads of friends and goes out a lot. I have no problem with "going out ". I do have a big problem with her hooking up with other random dudes. I know about reality. Everybody I have met doesn't need to get laid 7 days / week with multiple guys. I hope I have found one who does respect my desires.she says so, so who really knows?

Hi guys,

Thank you very much for weighing in on the multiple SD question. I think the consensus is that it depends on the level of relationship and if you do have multiples it's a don't ask / don't tell kind of thing.

I do have another question for you. Wednesday I'm having lunch with a Pot who is new to the Sugar world. That in itself is new to me as my past SD's have all had a few babies before me. As such, they all brought up the arrangement and asked me what was it that I wanted. My current SD refers to it as "the business side" and whenever he has a question he'll go,"I have a business question for you". I think it's cute and helps separate the intimacy versus the arrangement.

The thing is, this pot and I have been emailing for all of my Spring break (2 weeks) and he hasn't once asked "what are you looking for". His profile had a budget range that's acceptable to me and he was very specific about helping a college or graduate student so I know he gets the sugar side and we're playing in the same ballpark. But, I'm thinking I'm going to have to be the one to bring it up. Any tips on how to do this? Any great way a girl has mentioned it to you? Any really bad things I should stay away from saying? This guy is my preferred choice out of my two pots so I don't want to do something silly.

Thanks for the advice!

Mandy

Gentlemen,

I have mere seconds to post before I have to head home, so I must be brief. Polo was fantastic, but wore perfume for our workout, which is now permeating my clothes and skin. I have a plan in place that I am hoping will fly with my SO, but if not, I may be seeking some bunk space for the next few weeks.

Think good thoughts for me, my brothers and sister, this could end up in Armageddon.

Scott

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1409982]Gentlemen,

I have mere seconds to post before I have to head home, so I must be brief. Polo was fantastic, but wore perfume for our workout, which is now permeating my clothes and skin. I have a plan in place that I am hoping will fly with my SO, but if not, I may be seeking some bunk space for the next few weeks.

Think good thoughts for me, my brothers and sister, this could end up in Armageddon.

Scott[/QUOTE]Hope the excuse / explanation works out. Have to wonder, though, why Polo wore a scent that would be so likely to get into your skin like that. Trying to "mark" her 'new man'?

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1409982]Gentlemen,

I have mere seconds to post before I have to head home, so I must be brief. Polo was fantastic, but wore perfume for our workout, which is now permeating my clothes and skin. I have a plan in place that I am hoping will fly with my SO, but if not, I may be seeking some bunk space for the next few weeks.

Think good thoughts for me, my brothers and sister, this could end up in Armageddon.

Scott[/QUOTE]I have had this happen a few times, and, coincidentally, I've ruined a few pairs of pants by "accidentally" spilling a little gasoline on them while refueling on the way home. Not a pleasant experience, but a better option than returning home smelling like the perfume counter at Bloomingdale's.

As I alluded yesterday, Polo came to the party smelling wonderful, but unfortunately the scent attached itself to me, something I only noticed when driving back to work with the windows rolled up due to the torrential rains we had here. I had not showered in the hotel, and had no opportunity to do so before I needed to be home. What to do?

I got out the Batphone, called Polo, ascertained what the name of the perfume was that she had on, and stopped off at the mall and bought a bottle of it to give to my SO as a token of my affection. I explained that I had been doing a little shopping when a perfume sprayer had asked if I wanted to smell this new scent, and in spraying it on the piece of paper, also got a little on me. I'm pretty sure it worked, but I think I have to be on my best behavior for a while.

By the way, it was Ralph Lauren (of course) Big Pony. The silver lining for me is that now when Scottie smells it, he can stand as tall as he likes and not arouse any suspicion.

Scott

I haven't posted in a while, but follow this thread every day. Great reading!

As I said before, I jumped into the SB World after reading this thread. I usually play in the World of strippers and have developed a few SB / SD type relationships with a few of them. I am still seeing my first, and only, true SB. We have been seeing each other for 4 months now. The sex has been fantastic. It started off very intense with 4-5 rounds per night during our first few weeks. We have gradually eased off to 2-3 times per night, but she spends the night 4 times per week. She is very open minded and we have had a few 3somes witha good lesbian friend of mine. She likes to go with me to strip clubs to watch the dancers with me. She is very attractive and turns heads everyplace we go. So far so good right?

Now the problem. She has gotten very emotionally attached. She considers me her boyfriend. Our arrangement is now that I help her with some billls and pay for some pretty expensive, and wild, nights out. She is recently separated and has 2 small children. She has told me she loves me, wants to know if I am going to re-marry and if I plan to have more children.

I am only 6 months out of a 16 year marriage and was not and am not now looking for anything that serious. I do like her, enjoy spending time with her, and the sex has been great. I don't want to end the relationship for selfish reasons, but know I need to end it before it gets any deeper.

Any sugestions on how best to do it? I've been very honest with her. I've told her that her strong attachment and the word "love" scares me.

Max

[QUOTE=Spitfire; 1409101]As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.[/QUOTE]I'm not a SD right now or at least not in the way you more experienced guys are. I have certainly been one a couple times in the past before the practice's current popularity. But I'm always on the look out for a "low budget" SB in these economically-challenging times.

My question to you is: Why on earth would you want to meet your SB's parents? Even in the best of SB-SD situations, the SD is not a boyfriend in the traditional sense. Remember you're / we're payng for a woman's attention. Time and sex. Our success depends, in large part, on keeping the relationship UTR and under control just between the two of you. Wouldn't you think that the exposure you get to the parents can only lead to bad things? Whether you are single and can handle it or not, do you really want to bring other, more mature people into your SB / SD relationship (the parents are possibly your age)? No matter how cordial they are to you, I suspect they'll try to secretly get in your SB's ear, check out your background, etc. I think you're needlessly bringing on more complications for yourself.

I'm not saying this to be critical but simply to suggest that there might be undesirable consequences to your plans. More power to ya.

Gentleman,

While reading Scott's post about perfume it reminded me on a make-up incident with my first SD. "Him". He had an open marriage, but decided he wanted to spend a weekend with me. Something the "SO" (by the way can someone tell me what that stands for) wouldn't have allowed. So, he fibbed a little about where he was going to be that weekend.

At the end of our time together he drove me to the airport and I noticed that his face was a little sparkly. It took me a second to realize the source of said sparkles. My bronzer (a face powder). I pointed it out to him, and he later told me that he stopped at a restroom and washed his face so that he wasn't caught. As much as I like that make-up. I now refrain from wearing it when I meet an SD. Just wanted to give you guys a heads up on that one. When you meet your SB, if her face looks cute, tan, and sparkly. Make sure the sparkles stay on her.

After Scott's post, I'll leave the perfume off as well. No need to get any of you in trouble now.

Mandy

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409040]I do want to thank you all for providing much more interesting reading for my spring break than the "prep-work" that I should be doing before classes start next week. But, you've made me think of a question that I have for you.

Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dead Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy[/QUOTE]I will not see a SB unless she has other daddies (or a job, or escorts part to full time). As I do not want to be the sole source of support. I mean the bare bare minimum anyone can live on as far as I can tell is about 3k a month (and that is not high). And I like variety.

[QUOTE=Spitfire; 1409101]As I've posted before, I've focused my attention on only 1 SB. Unlike most posters, I'm completely single and unattached so I don't have a significant other to add complications. Things have gone exceedingly well between us to the point that she wants me to meet her parents this weekend. She's told them that she's dating a guy 20 years older and says while they're not thrilled about it, they've accepted it. They don't know how we began, but I'm sure they will deduce I am supporting her financially.

I'm not the least bit concerned with how her parents will react to me because I can handle myself, but I wonder if she really knows how to handle it herself. I've brought it up to her and she laughs it off. We'll see how it goes.[/QUOTE]This is not so differnt than my situation. Most of the discussion on this board has beem with SD's being carefull not to get emotionally involved, but what about the SD's? How many of them fall for their SD'? We can confuse lust for love and maybe they can confuse loving being cared for with being in love.

You need to ask yourself the same questions I am asking myself. Is she in love with me or loving being cared for by me? Am I in love or lust with her? Am I prepared for a committed relationship with somone hald my age, with children, different ethnicities and very different maturity levels? If not, is it fair to continue with somone who wants the full relationship when you know you don't?

Good luck!

Max

[QUOTE=Castlerae; 1408603]First off, welcome sbabyblog! Being one of your readers, it was an interesting change of prespective to see these arrangements through the eyes of an SB. I hope you stick around here to help keep us all from wandering too far off the mark.

Now for a question:

How many of you have been approached by women who live considerable distances from you with suggestions that you 'hook up' with them? So far, I've had at least two, the most recent a SB who lives over four hours drive from me (and no, there's no airline service between us) wanting to "get together" with me. From her profile, I know she's not going to be driving to see me, so all the travel will be on my dime and time. So why would a woman think a potential SD would drive that far?[/QUOTE]I will not drive more than 45 minutes to meet anyone. But I live in L. A. No shortages here. But if I did not. Then maybe 2 hours.

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409877]Hi guys,

This pot and I have been emailing for all of my Spring break (2 weeks) and he hasn't once asked "what are you looking for". His profile had a budget range that's acceptable to me and he was very specific about helping a college or graduate student so I know he gets the sugar side and we're playing in the same ballpark. But, I'm thinking I'm going to have to be the one to bring it up. Any tips on how to do this? Any great way a girl has mentioned it to you? Any really bad things I should stay away from saying? This guy is my preferred choice out of my two pots so I don't want to do something silly.

Thanks for the advice!

Mandy[/QUOTE]Mandy,

It may not be as big an issue as you are fearing. As has been pointed out before, you didn't meet him on match.com, so presumably he knows this is something that needs to be talked about. I appreciate your desire to handle it elegantly and with tact, but I know you would do it that way anyway, so don't sweat it. If I were you, I would wait and see how things play out during your M&G. If you are getting along great, and finishing each others' sentences, and all the signs are "go", maybe hold off on bringing it up just then, but do it later in a quick email or text. If things are not going so great, then what's the point of bringing it up?

I have frequently framed the discussion by saying,"In the past, I have always offered X as a token of my appreciation. Is this what you were thinking?" That way she can accept, walk away, or negotiate, but it tells her that I am neither low-balling nor new to the game. You might need to think about what it is that you want, both in terms of sugar and frequency, but I would recommend not doing it at the initial meeting. Too mercenary, in my opinion.

In the end, if he's into you in a major way, he will probably bring it up himself. I am always a little leery of the babies that want to talk sugar right away, although it certainly has happened. As I think back on it, though, those are never the ones that last with me. Can't preserve the illusion. We can be delicate creatures, we SDs.

Hope this is helpful. I'll ponder it a little more, and if I think of anything else, I'll post again. Good luck.

Scott

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1409040]I do want to thank you all for providing much more interesting reading for my spring break than the "prep-work" that I should be doing before classes start next week. But, you've made me think of a question that I have for you.

Many of you have a "stable" of SB's that you play with and well my dead Scott I just finished reading about your fantastic Monday the other week. What I've read before is that SD's do not like their babies having multiple daddies. As I get ready to approach my own multiple SD week, I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks!

Mandy[/QUOTE]I'm sure as with everything every SD has his preference on a sb having multiple SD's, I personally don't want to be the sole source of support either. It's probably best to be discreet in this area.

[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1410507]Gentleman,

While reading Scott's post about perfume it reminded me on a make-up incident with my first SD."Him". He had an open marriage, but decided he wanted to spend a weekend with me. Something the "SO" (by the way can someone tell me what that stands for) wouldn't have allowed. So, he fibbed a little about where he was going to be that weekend.

At the end of our time together he drove me to the airport and I noticed that his face was a little sparkly. It took me a second to realize the source of said sparkles. My bronzer (a face powder). I pointed it out to him, and he later told me that he stopped at a restroom and washed his face so that he wasn't caught. As much as I like that make-up. I now refrain from wearing it when I meet an SD. Just wanted to give you guys a heads up on that one. When you meet your SB, if her face looks cute, tan, and sparkly. Make sure the sparkles stay on her.

After Scott's post, I'll leave the perfume off as well. No need to get any of you in trouble now.

Mandy[/QUOTE]There ya go.

We should make a list of stupid mistakes that end a perfectly nice Sugar life. One M&G ended up as an all nighter at a Beach Hotel that had a parking garage. I left the Garage stub in my pants pocket. Fortunately I found it myself weeks later since my W doesn't do laundry. Item #2 is my W got a call from the dry cleaner about $300 found in 100s in my pants pocket. My PTP "date" cancelled on me and I forgot about the Sugar. To add insult to injury she kept the $300 and I didn't even get laid.

RE: Mandy

If the Pot is a social moron and doesn't break the ice after you have spent a successful M&G then it would not be unreasonable for you to say " I really like being with you and would like to get to know you better. Would you like to talk about an arrangement?" Assuming he agrees but continues his idiocy and you aren't totally frustrated then ask what kind of arrangement did he have in mind in order to continue the relationship. Some guys just need the nudge to get off the bench. If he can't close the deal then you don't want him anyway.

RE: Spitfire

Are you considering her as an IRL GF? If so then go meet the family. If not and you just want a SB then stay away. There is no way that family and friends of this young girl will think it is acceptable for her to have a 20 yr senior BF. (even if you are a wonderful catch) They will mercilessly lobby her to find someone her own age. I sure would if my 22 yr old daughter brought home a SD. Now if it was Clint Eastwood I'd have to reconsider.

RE: Max and Love.

What IS love anyway? I've been married twicw and don't think I've felt it yet. I think I felt lust and enamouration, but after that flame flickers out about 1 to 2 years down the road and you have experienced that first major PMS meltdown then the "love" starts to die little by little. I think Sugar love is the way to go. Forget marriage and fall in "love / lust " every year or two.

Now Max. Think long and hard before you dump your enamorada who screws your brains out 4 times / day. I can't even get it up 2 times / day. You stud you! We might pose this question to Mandy but I think you will have a hard time finding a girl who will go even a round every single day much less multiples. In my work I talk to a lot of girls in counseling who complain about their multiorgasmic SOs who "require" sex every day. They don't like it that intensely once they have found their "catch " What say you Mandy?

What Nando writes is correct, when in a monogamous relationship; I do think our desire for sex tends to fade. However, let me give you a different perspective – For me, it's not that my want for it went down, I just got bored! Guys remember to change it up a bit. You all can get boring. Who wants to do the same thing over and over again! &9786;

At least, that's my opinion and I will say one reason I very much love my open marriage. Remember my comment 'I'm just like you all? ' I get bored quickly and like variety. And, when I have that, well then I can have a very high sex drive.

In Max's situation I can't seem to think the four times a day / four days a week thing will last. But, it does sound like he's introducing some fun and different things occasionally so maybe it will.

As for the love, long term 'real' relationship issue – that's a difficult world. My last SD decided to stop seeing me because he realized that's where his emotions were going. And, my first SD 'Him' and I both fell in love with each other. However, we know we have separate lives and neither of us will ever change our irl situation. While there is no longer an 'arrangement' between us, we do still adore the rare moments we can steel away and see each other. It's most certainly a fine line to walk.

I'm working on a blog post about love and sugar. I'll let you know when it's finally up.

Mandy

Well, after some delays, I finally met the second young woman I'd been talking to on SA. We'd agreed to have lunch, and I let her pick where. I got there a little early, but she arrived within about ten minutes of me. She's a little heavier than her picture, but not majorly, and she seems to be quite happy to see me. The wait staff had already spoken to me and set us a table aside, so we went in, took our seats, and started to get aquainted. She seems a very nice, quite pleasant youmg woman, quite engaging when she speaks, but a little reserved acting. I got the impression, though I never asked directly, that I was her first meet through SA, so that might explain some of her reserve. As things progressed, she opened up some and we spoke about several things that interested us as we enjoyed a good meal together. Unfortunately, the discussion never moved onto the subject of what she might want in the way of a relationship, and while she seemed quite happy to meet me, when it came time to leave, she was also quite clear that the meeting was over with.

I don't expect her to contact me right away, but the impression I have from the meeting was that I made a very large, deep, smoking crater in the ground, so I'm wondering if I'll ever hear anything from her again. Oh well, already have another nibble on another line, so if this doesn't work out, on to the next.

Well, my SB agreed to meet this week but then there was a twist. Received a message saying she got better out of town arrangement and hence can I increase my offerings. Well, I didn't like it as I accepted my SB's proposal to begin with, as it is my first time and don't know the rules of the game. Do you all have to do this kind of negotiations? I didn't like it. I felt. 1. Either it is a made up story (someone from big city offered double, can you bump up 2. Even if true, then why comeback and negotiate. Like price-match.

Any thoughts what I should do?

Thanks Mandy for your perspective.

"Love" is what I seek because of the boredom factor in a non loving arrangement. This is the spark that makes me want to go back and to spend time together beyond the climax. In it's absence I tire very quickly of the same ole same ole, but in my 1 year relationship (almost) I treasure the togetherness before and after "the event". Also love is what makes me feel committed to my SB. Even though I can go out anytime and get a girl for the day to add some variety, I don't do it out of respect for my SB. I hope that she is doing the same for me. If she isn't then I would look on our relationship as a sham and end it. I will not be just an ATM and a sex provider in a list of others. I would then seek a monogamous lover in the sugar world and try again.

I know this contradicts the theme of the Sugar world. I have engaged in multifucking for several years and while it is fun and interesting, it is not as satisfying to me as a relationship I am excited about and into. It's too bad I can't feel this way about my Wife. Unfortunately the stresses of living together and dealing with various marital traumas and insults slowly eat away at the thread that ties us to someone we originally were passionate about and loved. After these threads break the "right " way to handle it would be to end one relationship before starting another, but life is not always that simple given the presence of kids, financial ties and obligations, etc.

RE: Gogababa

This is after all a business for most of these ladies. You need to decide if she is worth the upsell which might be true or might not. If you are a gambling man tell her to have a good life and that your offer stands. A lot of good car deals were gotten by sticking to your guns. Why not a woman? Now if you seriously low balled her then you might bring the amount up to area standards depending on your ability to pay.

That is my opinion on that one. Time to move on and find a new SB. She just made it very clear that you will be nothing but an ATM thought the course of the relationship.

Mandy

[QUOTE=Gogababa; 1411490]Well, my SB agreed to meet this week but then there was a twist. Received a message saying she got better out of town arrangement and hence can I increase my offerings. Well, I didn't like it as I accepted my SB's proposal to begin with, as it is my first time and don't know the rules of the game. Do you all have to do this kind of negotiations? I didn't like it. I felt. 1. Either it is a made up story (someone from big city offered double, can you bump up 2. Even if true, then why comeback and negotiate. Like price-match.

Any thoughts what I should do?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Gogababa; 1411490]Well, my SB agreed to meet this week but then there was a twist. Received a message saying she got better out of town arrangement and hence can I increase my offerings. Well, I didn't like it as I accepted my SB's proposal to begin with, as it is my first time and don't know the rules of the game. Do you all have to do this kind of negotiations? I didn't like it. I felt. 1. Either it is a made up story (someone from big city offered double, can you bump up 2. Even if true, then why comeback and negotiate. Like price-match.

Any thoughts what I should do?[/QUOTE]SW SW SW N.

Some will.

Some won't

So what NEXT.

Rubbish, stick to your guns, there are more than enough fishes out there.

I never had any troubles setting up new one.

[QUOTE=Hernando; 1411588]Thanks Mandy for your perspective.

"Love" is what I seek because of the boredom factor in a non loving arrangement. This is the spark that makes me want to go back and to spend time together beyond the climax. In it's absence I tire very quickly of the same ole same ole, but in my 1 year relationship (almost) I treasure the togetherness before and after "the event". Also love is what makes me feel committed to my SB. Even though I can go out anytime and get a girl for the day to add some variety, I don't do it out of respect for my SB. I hope that she is doing the same for me. If she isn't then I would look on our relationship as a sham and end it. I will not be just an ATM and a sex provider in a list of others. I would then seek a monogamous lover in the sugar world and try again.

I know this contradicts the theme of the Sugar world. I have engaged in multifucking for several years and while it is fun and interesting, it is not as satisfying to me as a relationship I am excited about and into. It's too bad I can't feel this way about my Wife. Unfortunately the stresses of living together and dealing with various marital traumas and insults slowly eat away at the thread that ties us to someone we originally were passionate about and loved. After these threads break the "right " way to handle it would be to end one relationship before starting another, but life is not always that simple given the presence of kids, financial ties and obligations, etc.[/QUOTE]Well said. Whatever you call it, it is possible to develop an emotional attachment beyond mere friendship. My ATF and I regularly say "I love you" to each other. But we also both are realistic about what that means, and we've actually discussed it. My home life isn't going to change, and she doesn't want a "real boyfriend." Still, we care about each other, want each other to be happy and successful, and genuinely enjoy spending time together.