Jokes & Humorous Stories

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.

So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in P... E... N... I... S...

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

**PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH**

A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice all the different kind of boobs?"

Surprised, the father answers, "Well sure, son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't. There are all kinds of breasts...and they change somewhat, depending on a woman's age.

"In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions, Dad?" asked the son.

"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry."

Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of weenies are there?"

The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's weenie is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Xmas tree."

"A Xmas tree?" asked the daughter.

"Yes -- dried up and the balls are only there for decoration."

[url]http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/11/26/1196036770955.html?from=top5[/url]

I think this is pretty damn funny, if you ask me.

I guess I am the last person on the earth to see this.

[url]www.2girls1cup.com[/url]

[QUOTE=Zero Cool07]I guess I am the last person on the earth to see this.

[url]www.2girls1cup.com[/url][/QUOTE]


And I could have waited forever and been happy not to see it. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Disgusting...

[QUOTE=Zero Cool07]I guess I am the last person on the earth to see this.

[url]www.2girls1cup.com[/url][/QUOTE]
I thought this was the "Jokes & Humorous Stories" thread...

I did [b]not[/b] need to see that.

[QUOTE=Zero Cool07]I guess I am the last person on the earth to see this.

[url]www.2girls1cup.com[/url][/QUOTE]I almost puked halfway through the video. I do not want to know how it ended.

Women have no sense of humor.

[QUOTE=Zero Cool07]I guess I am the last person on the earth to see this.

[url]www.2girls1cup.com[/url][/QUOTE]Are you serious? There are gals that would do that? And guess who they're DFK afterwards? I pray they're gay and proud.

[QUOTE=SgtPerv]I almost puked halfway through the video. I do not want to know how it ended.[/QUOTE]
You made it half way?!?! I didn't get remotely that far. As soon as the cup went to the ass, and it wasn't liquid, I was gone.

[QUOTE=Freebie Bean]And I could have waited forever and been happy not to see it. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Disgusting...[/QUOTE][url]http://www.filecabi.net/video/disgusting_lesbo_sex.html[/url]

A guy goes to a whorehouse, picks out a girl, takes her to the room, and starts chomping away on her pussy. I mean, he's really eating her out good.

All of a sudden, he spits up a carrot. "Hmm. " the guy thinks to himself. "Must be regurgitating my lunch. " He continues to lick and suck.

A few minutes later, he spits up some green peas. "That's weird", said the oral expert to himself. "I don't remember having green peas for lunch. ". However, nothing could keep him from that tasty pussy and he continues his tonguework.

Finally, he spits up some spinach. "Now that does it! ", exclaimed the man, knowing he definitely does not eat spinach because he hates it.

Turning to the girl, he asks very loudly, "Dammit, woman, did you get sick down there? "

To which the girl replied, "No. But the last guy before you sure did! "

[url]http://www.biggeekdaddy.com/humorpages/Various/bjs.html[/url]

This deserves a Grammy!!!

Pussycat Song [url]http://biggeekdad.com/Humor/pussycatsong.html[/url]

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ3lw-eNrFk[/url]