My Seeking Experience and Tips if You're New or Considering
I've been having decent success using Seeking, and I wanted to give everyone some tips about what has worked for me, with the hope that it works for you. Everyone has a different way to use the site, so I'm not saying my way is the best. Now that the disclaimers are done, let's talk about what I've found to work thus far:
Golden Rule: Never Ever Ever send money before meeting. These women will talk to you, be nice and interested, and keep the con going for days just to get $20 or $50 from you. If you do get scammed, just know that if she spent 8 or more hours talking to you for that money then she's making lower than minimum wage haha.
Rule #1: Cast your net far and wide.
There are a lot of women on Seeking, but there are also a decent number of guys in each of their inboxes. There are a few tools to get noticed:
- Have at least one picture. Yes, there's a risk associated, but I've made profiles with both pictures and no pictures and I'm getting roughly 30% more responses with a single picture. If you don't want to use yours, find someone similar but communicate this to the women once she gets to know you better.
- Try to message women when they are currently online. This puts your message at the top of their inbox. I usually look to see if a woman is online, craft a message and send it. Then if she refreshes her page I send her a favorite. That gives you two separate cases to get her attention.
- Be unique and respectful in your messages. Guys, it's 2025 and there are things called ChatGPT, Gemini, and other AI tools. Just copy / paste their profile into it, and have it create an interesting introduction message for you based on her profile. If you're new to AI and there's interest, I could do a whole post about how to get the best output from using it. And on the respect, even the pros who post on both Seeking and Tryst want to hear something nice for once. You will be that one guy "who actually cares. " I've had so many responses saying "wow, you really put a lot of effort into this" when in truth I spent 5 minutes making a perfect response.
- Consider options outside of your comfort zone. Like most of you I have a type, but if those women aren't responding, try opening your horizons a bit more. You'd be surprised at the arrangements you can come up with when you give yourself more women to choose from. You'll also be less likely to overpay for the one chick who responded that is your type as the alternate option you chose is 80% of what you're looking for at 40% of the price.
Rule #2: Treat every conversation as if you will never meet them.
- I feel like I spend 50% of my time chatting with someone, only to find out we aren't compatible (money, availability, menu items) or she is a scammer / fake. If you try to date these women one at a time, you will end up losing precious time to get to actual arrangements. If you have some empathy like me, you can either let the women know that you're looking for one arrangement but are talking to multiple people to find it. Then if you really can't meet them because you found someone else (or in my case, I can't afford to see them all at once) you can say you're taken, but if things don't work out you'll reach out to see if they're available.
- Speaking of chatting, there are many ways to get to the end game, but if you're budget conscious like myself, here's what I do:
O Get her attention with the opening message.
O Say a few nice things in 2-3 messages.
O Ask them if they want to see if we're a good fit by texting instead of talking details on the site.
O Via text get all the details of costs, hosting, menu, etc.
O If her terms work, continue chatting to reach a date, and if not tell her it won't work.
- The last thing I'll say on opening messages is I always try to make the first few words very unique. That's because they can see those words before they even open the message. Saying "3 Reasons why I think. " or "I love your eyes, and I wish. " looks better than "Hey" or "Hi. ".
Rule #3: Newer members usually have more flexibility.
- Most, but not all women tend to develop their allowance rate and what they're comfortable with over time. When they are new to the site, they don't know how everything works, which can be advantageous in either getting a lower allowance or better items on the menu. The following things can improve your odds:
O Offering to meet in person to discuss terms. I find that once I meet them and they see I'm not crazy and they're interested that they are more lenient on their requirements.
O Having recent test results. Regardless of if you play with protection or not, having test results really calms down the concern women have with initially having sex with a guy. A vasectomy wouldn't hurt either, but again it depends on how you play and what you're looking for.
O Make the conversation sound like you want to focus on pleasuring them as well. That helps level the playing field and if they think they will get more than a few minutes of humping they are likely to work with your budget. Also, a lot of the women will delete their profile if they find exactly what they're looking for. No sharing yay!
I have a few that I'm working on currently, but they left the platform. I do have one that I spent time with who is still active that I will post once I get more time to write. Feel free to PM me with questions if I didn't cover something you wanted to know about.
