Oasis on Northside. Yuck.
Confession: I'm a regular on another city's forum, but I'm in Atlanta a few times a year on business. I lurk here for tips when I'm in town, and I created this username just to report on my horrible experience at your OASIS SPA last week.
I was on Northside after leaving Atlantic Station when I saw the sign, and knew what kind of place it was. Just what I needed. About 2PM on a Thursday.
Korean woman met me at the door. Busted hag. Not fat, but very trail-weary, sad face, and 80's-style frizzy hair past her forehead and eyes. About 50. She wore the uniform: leopard-print tights and sandals. T-shirt.
Everything was as it should be. Twing-twang music was playing, dim lights. She took me to a room, back and to the left, with "VIP" on the door. Nicely decorated, with a hot tub in it. Big mirror on one wall."You want showah"? I gave her 60 bucks and let her see that I had plenty more in a money clip. This gal was no beauty, but I wasn't taking her to the prom. Shower time.
I knew something was wrong when she wouldn't wash my dong."You washy private". Uh-oh. She washed me the way she would scrub out a garbage can. Zero penisary contact.
Back to the room for what may be the clumsiest, most clueless attempt at a massage. Pressing with fingers up and down my back. She would stop occasionally, just to pinch my wrist for awhile. I nicely asked her what the hell she was doing, and she said,"You don't know massagy".
All the time she was fumbling, she was talking about how she needed a man, and how there's no good man in the world anymore. Yawn.
Well, I got sick of this, so flipped over and got myself ready for the main event. She said,"Why you do? Time almost up", and some other throat-cancer voice tapped on the door and barked something in Korean. I said,"Time almost up? We just got started".
She goes,"Massagy here is 45 minute. You take long time in showah".
I'm instantly pissed. I got ripped off.
I tell her to clean me off, I'm out of here. While she's hot-toweling me, I realize that the other woman in the place is at the door, watching. My hag splits, and the other hag is standing there impatient while I get dressed. I say something about 45 minutes going pretty fast, and she tells me with a humorless smile that the time starts when I pay. She's uglier and crabbier than my massage crone, and all I want to do is GTFO.
I'm back in the car smelling like flowery lotion. Blue balls. Angry. I did everything right. I'm not new at this.
This was my first AMP experience in downtown or midtown Atlanta. How is this joint still open?
I got acceptable service up on Buford Highway the next day, as expected. But Oasis on Northside was horrible.
Wonder Foot Massage & Harmony
Had some unexpected time to roam for a massage the other day. I thought I'd go back to Wonder Foot Massage on Pleasanthill just to see what it was like after Wanda sold it (man I miss Wanda. Best semi-legit massage in ATL). Anyways, walk in on Fri. Afternnoon and I felt like I had just walked into a sweatshop. In fact, that's exactly what the place smelled like.
It was packed w / 3 dudes giving chair & foot massages. 3 super fugly gals giving foot and body massages. I told one of them, I guess the mgr or owner, that I wanted foot massage and maybe body. She tried to get me to sit down in a chair w / a towel and then I realized that all the towels on all the chairs appeared to have already been used and not switched out (the weren't rolled or drapped, just bunched up like they had just been used). The place was disgusting and so was the staff so I bailed. And what's up w / all the dudes working at these AMPs now?
I called Harmony to check them out since I hadn't been there before. A white dude answers, so I'm thinking that's not a good sign, so I decline to make a reservation. I assume the owner at Harmony has been mentioned on here before, but I didn't remember. So, I ended up at my first time AMP on BH (an oldie but a goodie). For those who knew Wanda, it was her first AMP. Again, half the damn people working there now are dudes.
Despite that, I stayed to scout the talent and ended up getting a foot massage w / a cute spinner w / potential. She also does BM and we spoke about take out (generically). She said she would exchange numbers on next visit. I'll try to get in for a BM later this week and report if take out happens later.