Vanity Review: Worst Escort Ever
I've gotten spoiled with regulars for too long and decided to drop them all recently. After adding up what I was really spending on food and clothes and drugs and drug paraphernalia, even with some great discounts it just wasn't worth it. And as close as we got they still used me for as much as they could get. It's just what they are used to and I don't blame them, I blame myself for getting close to them. While it was great to have them spending the night and even staying for weeks at a time, it wasn't worth having to inhale the worst smell in the world, (blues) and going through 10 air freshener cans a day even with a Smoke Buddy. No more Captain Save-A-Hoe for me though. I am back to what this is all about. Just doing the damn thing and getting the fuck out.
As far as this review goes, I called around and there were only a few providers replying on a late Sunday night. I should have just jerked off and went to bed, but what fun would that be? I settle on this useless piece of drug addict shit unfortunately. [URL]https://tucson.skipthegames.com/female-escorts/other/COME-PLAY-WITH-ME/916249955373[/URL] She was easy enough to schedule with and close enough that I accepted the 180 hh price she was asking. She actually said she normally charges 250, but I find it hard to believe that anyone would spend 250 on her and not have written a horrible review about her already. I would have taken my money back, or at least most of it if I had paid that much. It was bad enough leaving my 180 behind for what I got.
I specifically asked her to wear some sexy lingerie, (garter belt, stockings, high heels) and she agreed over text. She had a tank top and short shorts when she answered the door. I asked about the lingerie and she said she doesn't have any. I guess she forgot that over the phone. Oh well, she had a nice ass and the shorts were really short so I forgave that. Her body was decent with a really nice ass and soft skin so I forgave the meh face. Next she said that the time starts when I arrive so I got undressed and ready right away. She on the other hand took her time to do makeup and smoke some meth. Finally when she was ready she asked me to stand up and got on the bed and told me to put it in. No BJ at all! I said what the fuck? Can you at least suck it a bit and she gave me a 30 second HJ. She said the cover had Icy Hot and she can't put it in her mouth. At that point I just decided to stick it in and try my best to bust quick, but she then started asking if I was close and I asked if we could switch positions and she said she can only do it in that position. What The Fuck? I was done with it at that point. I asked her for some lube so I can jack off and she didn't even have lube. I grabbed some lotion she had on the couch and asked her to lay by me while I finished. She did not lay by me but she stood up and started to make weird noises while rubbing her pussy. I finished and got the fuck out of there.
This was almost enough to make me call one of my old regulars and start kissing ass again, but I realize it took a while to find them, so it will probably take a few horrible experiences before I find another great one. But this one was the worst I have had in many years. Stay away from her unless you are ok with no BJ and fucking in one position and getting rushed.
Escort Review:
Scheduling - 10 (As providers go it was easy to schedule and she didn't make me wait more than 10 minutes when I arrived. That's a 10 for a drug addict!
Face - 5 (It wasn't horrible, but it could have been better).
Body - 8 (Ass was great and the rest was decent. Too bad she didn't do cowgirl with that ass. I would have loved to guide that ass up and down on my cock!
Attitude - 1 (She was ok on the phone and pleasant enough to talk to, but not wanting to do a BJ and half assing everything else dropped it to a 1).
Service - 0 (worst service I have had in many years!
Recommendation: I would recommend that you stay away from this one unless you like wasting time and money.
Would I Repeat: Hell No!