Streetwalker Reports

[QUOTE=JackMeOfff;2860363]I am a newbie just like you. I know I am new but being a newbie on here sucks. No one will share info or digits and even the girl's on paradise trail can sense that I am new and they try and take full advantage. I want to contribute but it's like there is a code against newbies on here. I went back and rtff from like 8 month's ago til now and I noticed that C5 seems extremely cautious and somewhat impossible to get certain intel from. He did give me laylah number and I dreamed with her and did review and now nothing else. C5 from the 3 girl's I did dream with seems very popular among the trail girl's. All seem to know him well. He seems to only lean towards certain senior members such as trailhunter, strokinj and naughtyboy. He constantly sends shout outs in his post to these particular guy's. He has a right to do as he pleases as I'm sure he has earned it, but I say to C5 respectfully, you were once new too. Certain guy's seem to have your ear and the other 98 percent of us on here don't. I respect your work but how can newbies contribute when we get no help? I'm not picking on C5, guy is a walking legend and laylah told me he is known well by all the girl's. It's sucks being a newbie.[/QUOTE]Dude I been saying the same thing since the beginning now I just don't bother.

[QUOTE=MrTeddyBear;2861222]Okay I haven't seen to much about this on here, seems most people have them so here is a question for anyone to chime in on, what makes a safe s
pot "safe" to you? Obviously I'm not asking for your personal spots, the last thing I want while dreaming is to be woken by someone else trying to use the spot, but when on the look
out for that spot what do you look for? Is it a park in street nobody is using, or find a empty parking lot kind of thing? Feel free to pm me or just a reply. I'm just looking for a few go
od opinions so I can stay safe and out of trouble. Thanks.[/QUOTE]My favorite safe spot is a cemetery.

[QUOTE=PerfectAss;2862214]A safe spot is a parking spot I always back into, nobody is around for 250 ft, so it's pretty secluded, there are no cameras around, and it can be one way in and out, we'll lit is ok, keys half way in ignition, if anyone approaches, I can have clothes on car started and leave within seconds, good luck![/QUOTE]Always know your surroundings. Never go to a provider's spot, unless you know her, and have been there before. I have an suv with tinted windows, so sometimes during the day I will park where employees park in some retail areas. Backing in is best. Wallets and phones stashed, and a weapon is always suggested. I know guys who have a can of wasp spray. Foam travels 20 ft and will at least buy you some time. Never street monger without using some of these, and veteran's tips. We have all been there and done that. I am in Ft Myers, and have been on the trail once this season, looking forward to one more trip before I head north in May.

[QUOTE=Wheaton278;2862350]I saw Bella yesterday for BBBJ and slide a finder inside her. It was impressively tight enough to that I told her I wanted to do full service next time I saw her. I saw her cruising this morning so we went and got a room. Cover on and in I go. She is without a doubt the tightest I've ever been in. It was just ridiculous. Not two minutes in and she asks me to stop and offers to take less money for another BJ instead. I haven't paid her yet, and I'm enjoying myself, so I tell her I will take it slow and easy on her. I slide back in and enjoy a few positions with her. It's so tight it's crazy! I finish up and she is nice, but complaining about the discomfort of FS. I've been on a few hotdog in hallway dates, but this isn't one of them. She really does have a nice body too![/QUOTE]Sometimes that discomfort can be more than a tight giner.

Bro you cracked me up. LOL.

[QUOTE=TrailHunter;2862668]My favorite safe spot is a cemetery.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Wheaton278;2862350]I saw Bella yesterday for BBBJ and slide a finder inside her. It was impressively tight enough to that I told her I wanted to do full service next time I saw her. I saw her cruising this morning so we went and got a room. Cover on and in I go. She is without a doubt the tightest I've ever been in. It was just ridiculous. Not two minutes in and she asks me to stop and offers to take less money for another BJ instead. I haven't paid her yet, and I'm enjoying myself, so I tell her I will take it slow and easy on her. I slide back in and enjoy a few positions with her. It's so tight it's crazy! I finish up and she is nice, but complaining about the discomfort of FS. I've been on a few hotdog in hallway dates, but this isn't one of them. She really does have a nice body too![/QUOTE]Not sure what's up with that. Been there, done that, and vajayjay was pretty much the average bat cave.

[QUOTE=PerfectAss;2862214]A safe spot is a parking spot I always back into, nobody is around for 250 ft, so it's pretty secluded, there are no cameras around, and it can be one way in and out, we'll lit is ok, keys half way in ignition, if anyone approaches, I can have clothes on car started and leave within seconds, good luck![/QUOTE]I would never park somewhere with only one way in / out. That could mean trouble with me having no way out. I like to have options.

Anybody have Bella number? I cruise and cruise. From Texas Fried on obt to the BK where Strawberry hides and still can't find Bella.

[QUOTE=ValenciaGuy;2862805]Anybody have Bella number? I cruise and cruise. From Texas Fried on obt to the BK where Strawberry hides and still can't find Bella.[/QUOTE]But when I saw her again Monday morning she had lost it. Said she left it in a car never to be seen again. I doubt digits will do much good.

[QUOTE=TheeeGentleman;2862766]Not sure what's up with that. Been there, done that, and vajayjay was pretty much the average bat cave.[/QUOTE]As the new guy in town I don't actually know why she looks like. I did see a bird tat on the left hip / back. She said her name was Bella Saint, but she used a different name when talking to someone she knew. She's a Puerto Rican, skinny with a decent ass for a tiny girl right? I've seen some bat caves, but yesterday I was like (in my most zoolander voice) "what is this, a cave for ants?" Missed by the older crowd I'm sure. I'm just saying it was tiny.

[QUOTE=TheeeGentleman;2862766]Not sure what's up with that. Been there, done that, and vajayjay was pretty much the average bat cave.[/QUOTE]Saint is definitely not the tightest I've had though she always complains about me being to big LOL. So last week I came from dropping the saint of after a nice BJ and cruising down by the new Q I see jessica dark skimned latina. Now I've dated her about 10 times usually a BBBJ but had FS once when we first met and she could barely take me then. So I flip around for round 2 but of course she's gone so I text her old number I had and as soon as I left the area she messaged me of course. So we set up another time that I couldn't make, so Sunday she shoots me a text that she's out and I make a bee line to the trail. Met up and she was looking and smelling nice, so we find a spot and she gets to work with a CBJ she does do BBBJ as someone reported on last week meeting with her but nice CBJ then I tell her I'm ready and she lays back. Now last time I hit it k-9 the whole time so I never saw her snatch, but it is small so I knew it would be a problem but she took the pounding crying the whole time but didn't stop even at the end before I busted she was crying that she couldn't handle it anymore and might pass out LOL that turned me on and made me bust quick. So we cleaned up and I dropped her back off. Now on the way to drop her off she said she usually charges $ for everything but I told her before I even left my house what I was going to give her and she agreed because I was a regular but I haven't seen her in almost a yr but she remembered me. She posts on ay papi escort site so her prices will be up there if you call her vs finding her on the trail if you haven't met with her before. She didn't give a ok to share the # but here are a few of her pics she posts, I definitely think she's the tightest I've ever had looks like she would struggle with a 5 incher LOL. Meant to post earlier but just been busy be safe fellas.

[QUOTE=GhostRider50;2862672]Always know your surroundings. Never go to a provider's spot, unless you know her, and have been there before. I have an suv with tinted windows, so sometimes during the day I will park where employees park in some retail areas. Backing in is best. Wallets and phones stashed, and a weapon is always suggested. I know guys who have a can of wasp spray. Foam travels 20 ft and will at least buy you some time. Never street monger without using some of these, and veteran's tips. We have all been there and done that. I am in Ft Myers, and have been on the trail once this season, looking forward to one more trip before I head north in May.[/QUOTE]Be careful with Any cans in your car in the summertime the heat in the car can easily bust a pop can when left in a car with closed windows.

[QUOTE=TrailHunter;2862668]My favorite safe spot is a cemetery.[/QUOTE]I like TH spot the most. LOL!

Chris5.

[QUOTE=GhostRider50;2862675]Sometimes that discomfort can be more than a tight giner.[/QUOTE]I was wondering the same thing. In watching some of her videos, I don't know how some of those donkeys didn't break her in half, and she didn't seem to mind them. She is such a nice girl, I hope when she leaves this kind of life behind she doesn't take anything permanent with her.

Was cruising on Paradise around 1 am and hit up both the old and new quadrant. Saw two chicks who didn't look good at all. Sunoco had our favorite uncle parked in parking lot. Lots of undercover LEO out tonight especially around the mall area. Left and went home with zero pussy. I will live to fight another day.

Chris5.

[QUOTE=TrailHunter;2862668]My favorite safe spot is a cemetery.[/QUOTE]A cemetery may be appropriate for some of the Dead Fucks out there. Shout out JoJo, cryin like she at a funeral.

[QUOTE=NaughtyBoy1;2860991]Jackmeofff bro, what is your problem or complaint. Is it the SMs are not giving you any hand overs. Bro don't worry I was like you initially and was in the same boat. In my life of OBT I hardly come across a chick who hasn't touched by C5 or TH or any other SM. Of all C5 bro is exception. In the beginning without knowing difference between a SM and newbie I used to simply get in the way by asking digits. I never got any. Once I started to fish, by posting my reviews I was got pulled into their confidence.

So don't worry, try to get as much pussies as you like, come back and post your review. It's that simple and if you noticed our bro weaton had a good dream with Bella. You too will catch something good. Just hang on there buddy. Do not think that some SMs are leaning towards only few. In this fun game every one has their own game and rules. Sometime the game and rules are shared and sometime they don't. I have personally tried to get Dallas and other hot chicks. No luck here and I Ssimple do not feel bad. I read C5, TH, sSDG's posts and try to get something that I need. Sometimes I get and sometimes I simply read for fun. So keep trying and find new pussies. Be safe, be alert and enjoy the game.

NB1[/QUOTE]Thanks for advice. I'm looking forward to one day being a part of the exclusive crew you are in.

Just finished up with a big booty WSW named Chantel. She says a few mongers on this board know her and love her. She's very pleasant and I will see her again.

Quick car date and she started with a good CBJ and then switched to K9 and I couldn't hold on for long. Next time I need her on a bed because that ass is amazing. I have her digits but she has no phone till tomorrow.

As far as Chris5 not paying attention to new members, its not just new members, its anyone he doesn't know. He did it to me. I didn't like it but I understand. Any one of you could be LEO.

Just do what I do. Browse the board and figure it out. Contribute when you can, don't worry about it.

Good Day Old Sports!

CG1 here, your friendly neighborhood surfer. Hit the waves on PT last night, surfing the main trap lines around my buddy stevie Nash's street. Even went down south by the 528 area code. That said it was pretty dead. Some mild LEO clouds on corners but not much action from our friends. Managed to pick up Bee, skinny BSW with a nice caboose, by stevie Nash's street north. Descent BBBJ, but couldn't really DT. "CG1, you has a nice sized longboard", she said. "It's been done before", CG1 replied graciously but not that damn graciously as he was still a bit disappointed. Completed our little outing and surfed back to the crib. Nice friend, but nothing special.

Happy Surfing Gents!

-CG1.

Hit up Paradise Trail on a rainy night just after 1 am.

I was getting gas at 7 eleven in the old quadrant and my girl sexy Natasha came up to me out of nowhere and gave me a quick hug hello. Natasha I must admit was looking sexy as fuck. Had some tight black lace fishnets stockings on. Natasha wanted a date but I told her I was waiting on another chick. Then I bumped into my friend Kevon at the McDonald's in the old quadrant looking very good as well. Talked to her for a few minutes and sent her as well on her way. Now both Natasha and Kevon I have smashed there pussies inside out multiple times so I tried to find something new, however something new was not meant for me tonight. I headed towards the new quadrant and just past Wal-Mart I spot a bundled up very white chick walking fast in rain with little to nothing on. Little tight black shorts. I immediately do a you turn and get closer and notice it's my girl SnowFlake. So SnowFlake is no longer blonde, she has jet black hair now and I said fuck it and let her in my truck. SnowFlake was high as a fucking kite tonight! I knew I would have a good dream with her tonight. Surprisingly she did not smell bad at all tonight. I have said it more than once in my reports on SnowFlake, she really does have a very sexy body! The candy has pretty much eaten up her face. Took her to my spot and for 23 bucks I fucked her silly. Half of this fuck she was nodded out! I didn't give a shit, kind of turned me on. A very lazy BBBJ and CFS, with my dick as far up in her pussy as I could get it. When we finished she barely knew her own name. LOL! SnowFlake made my night tonight. A lovely girl who I for sure will repeat with.

Chris5.

[blue][Deleted by Admin]

Somebody make you an Admin when I wasn't looking?

A2[/blue]

[QUOTE=JackMeOfff;2864552]Thanks for advice. I'm looking forward to one day being a part of the exclusive crew you are in.[/QUOTE]Hey Jackmeoff, I as well would like to be a part of this exclusive crew that you refer to! LOL!

Chris5.

New Quadrant seems to be picking up steam again boy's. The 7 eleven and the old super 8 has some of our favorite girl's hanging around there. I had business at travel lodge tonight and saw like 3 of our girls going in and out of room's. Man it brings back such good memories when I'm in the old quadrant. Blossom is forever gone but the memories will always be in my head. Anyone remember when our favorite monger ran through the super 8 parking lot chasing a guy with a gun! Lmfao!!

Chris5.

[QUOTE=Chris5;2865226]New Quadrant seems to be picking up steam again boy's. The 7 eleven and the old super 8 has some of our favorite girl's hanging around there. I had business at travel lodge tonight and saw like 3 of our girls going in and out of room's. Man it brings back such good memories when I'm in the old quadrant. Blossom is forever gone but the memories will always be in my head. Anyone remember when our favorite monger ran through the super 8 parking lot chasing a guy with a gun! Lmfao!!

Chris5.[/QUOTE]Shit yeah I remember, that would be none other than my great friend and mentor, the legend, the great SFJ (StrokinFuckinJoe) THE BEST.

TrailHunter.

[QUOTE=TrailHunter;2865518]Shit yeah I remember, that would be none other than my great friend and mentor, the legend, the great SFJ (StrokinFuckinJoe) THE BEST.

TrailHunter.[/QUOTE]When I was parked in the old quadrant this morning at the travel lodge, the image of the king popped in my head. I pictured him running right past me chasing that guy with the gun. Lmao.

Chris5.

Drove in and went straight to the place of dreams. Did about 1 1/2 loops and only saw my great grandmothers school teacher on 25th. Kept driving and saw uncles lights near the goodwill but couldn't tell for what. There were 2 of them there blocking the right lane at about 12:45 am. Did 2 more loops and saw a bigger WSW named shantel or chantel. Told her I'd give her a ride and she was clean, pleasant and didn't look like a candy girl. Claimed she had a regular job but enjoyed helping with dreams. We took a nap and when I woke up felt it was average, but would repeat because overall it was a good experience for. 2. Got the digits for a phone that supposedly will be on later today. Cruised a while longer and saw 2 BSW, one with blonde hair the other with braids. I am not into BSW but this Kevon will be one of the few if I find her. Anyway 1 day down 20 more days of vacation to go.

Been awhile, had some medical issues and then family in town kept me busy. Went out yesterday afternoon and stumbled across a BSW who said her name was cocoa. She had a nice thick body and some great dsl. Took her to a spot and she got to work on some covered head game. In my dream of course.

Fun to talk to actually, didn't seem like a candy girl, she said she just loves to suck dick. She had a fat ass I'm going to have to get behind next time. No digits unfortunately she said just to look for her.

Long time monger but not many posts, just getting started in that area. I could go back and create posts for the last 4 years but some of those SW are no longer around and the others some of you have already posted about many times. Maria, Saint, Nicole, Kevon just to name a few of my favs. I dreamt Monday night that I scooped up Amanda near Oakridge. Took her to a safe spot looking for some BBBJ with a few small extras like taking care of the boys and freedom to roam with my hands and a little taint action. She ask for 40 roses, I offered 20 and told her if she took care of me like she absolutely loved my cock she would earn a tip. She agreed, then we are still on the way to the spot when she says she doesn't BBBJSW and no backdoor play. I said that's fine for the 20 but if she wants a tip she will have to allow both. Laid back chick no issues whatsoever. She goes down to start the BBBJ and I tell her to take care of the boys first, always feels better to me for some reason that the boys get some lovin first. Started off feeling great then became kind of mechanical. My hands roamed the entire time but I did focus on the kitty at first, mild kitty smell occurred which scared me away from the backdoor- LOL. I grabbed her head and started slowly deeply pumping her face until I was ready to blow then grabbed her by her hair and told her to stick her tongue out, lowered her head to where I could watch it shoot out on and in her mouth chin and cheek. I took my finger and scooped the rest into her mouth then had her lick my fingers as well. Overall when I look back I've jerked off to the experience a couple times since so it couldn't have been, but I would still describe it as average considering the mild kitty smell. I saw some pictures posted of her a while back and I think she was described as Tennessee Amanda. School girl kinda nerdy type look but attractive. I do have her digits to share with people I've seen posting before. Look forward to sharing more with ya'll and learning as well. Peace out, ended up tipping another 10 because she came across as cool and chill. Then I woke up.

[QUOTE=MackMaine;2862902]Saint is definitely not the tightest I've had though she always complains about me being to big LOL. So last week I came from dropping the saint of after a nice BJ and cruising down by the new Q I see jessica dark skimned latina. Now I've dated her about 10 times usually a BBBJ but had FS once when we first met and she could barely take me then. So I flip around for round 2 but of course she's gone so I text her old number I had and as soon as I left the area she messaged me of course. So we set up another time that I couldn't make, so Sunday she shoots me a text that she's out and I make a bee line to the trail. Met up and she was looking and smelling nice, so we find a spot and she gets to work with a CBJ she does do BBBJ as someone reported on last week meeting with her but nice CBJ then I tell her I'm ready and she lays back. Now last time I hit it k-9 the whole time so I never saw her snatch, but it is small so I knew it would be a problem but she took the pounding crying the whole time but didn't stop even at the end before I busted she was crying that she couldn't handle it anymore and might pass out LOL that turned me on and made me bust quick. So we cleaned up and I dropped her back off. Now on the way to drop her off she said she usually charges $ for everything but I told her before I even left my house what I was going to give her and she agreed because I was a regular but I haven't seen her in almost a yr but she remembered me. She posts on ay papi escort site so her prices will be up there if you call her vs finding her on the trail if you haven't met with her before. She didn't give a ok to share the # but here are a few of her pics she posts, I definitely think she's the tightest I've ever had looks like she would struggle with a 5 incher LOL. Meant to post earlier but just been busy be safe fellas.[/QUOTE]Tight is good! I get tired of the breadbox sized gash. I hope she can handle three angry inches!

Gentlemen I got a hilarious story for you. I was done with business in Sanford so decided to hit up the glorious paradise trail on my way home. Off the I4 exit I notice this pawg (forgot name), scooped her. I've scooped her before but she was high as fuck and kicked her out! Anyways, tonite she was "sober" and 3 minutes after picking her up my dicks in her mouth! Decent BBBJ for 20 fiber bars, would not repeat, her face is all sorts of candied up. You guys probably know her, says she's from daytona. After her I head south on the trail to find some more girls, wasnt satisfied yet. I've been eating healthy the past 48 hours, and polished off a chipotle burrito, banana, and apple for lunch. Lots of fucking food for one meal. I start to feel my bowels moving and churning. That lower abdomen feeling we have all felt before a big one. My dumbass self seems to think I can hold off though. I notice a nice meaty LSW by 7-11 and americana. Fuckin gorgeous body. I you turn to try and scoop but she didn't even flinch, just focused on walking north. I'm like fuuuckk! So I stop at the 7-11 and get some gas, moments later She just happens to get out of a truck who scooped her but obviously they didn't agree to anything, and I'm like this my chance. The guy next to me and I are both trying to call her over while were pumping gas, then we both start laughing! Once again she's just ignoring me / us and focused on walking north up trail. Weird. Hop back in car and head south. Stomach cries out again! Shit! I'm like alright I'll stop at the chick fil-a and release it. Got there and its out of order for next 30 minutes. The problem is as I was walking in I already start to relax my ass muscles to release it, just a little bit. So after I couldn't get in, I'm that much closer to droppin a bomb. Get back in car and I start to get fuckin desperate! LOL! Stop at the 7-11 a block up, get out (at this point I got to be careful with all body maneuvers) and bathroom is full. WTF! Some dude said it will be a while. Probably shootin then passed the fuck out! I ask about the womens room and clerk said can't do it. Fuck! Hop back in car and I realize I got minutes till I blast. Made you turn and head south, I think I can make it to the chipotle after sand lake, they helped do this to me anyways! Roll up to sandlake and its backed the fuck up and just turned red. FUCK!! And it begins, a little turtle head comes fully out, I felt that little fucker. I'm using all my mental energy to focus on holding this thing back, the anatomical position of being seated does not help at all. Then I feel a little more push out. My body fuckin heats up! LOL! Then I realize I have no more will power, and theres no way I'm going to get out of the seated position to standing without releasing it. Some people might say we've done shameful acts on OBT. But as I was beginning to cross sandlake I truly shamed all mongers. I finally relaxed and let it all out. LOL! FUCKING NASTY! Its all warm and was pressured to run down the back of my legs / hamstrings. Felt fucking amazing though LOL! What a way to ruin a mongers night. Got to take care of this mess so I park in a hidden spot at burlington and let as much fall out of my shorts as possible LOL!! Hits your legs, one even got my sock! Go into burlington and buys some hand towels, then head to mens room to take an epic * bath. Threw them all out, and damn that bathroom must have stank, but I know I grew numb to smell. Ass was raw after how many times I wiped with those cheap wash clothes. Jumped in car and head home. I swiped the rest of my deodorant stick on the upholstery to hopefully kill the smell, we'll find out in the morning. What a night mongers!

Cruised around the trail till I fell asleep. Dreamed I picked up nikki near wally world. Her ass might give chantels a run for best on the trail. Great body, cute face but has some bumps. She seemed normal and very coherent, but she must be hard of hearing because she couldn't hear me talk. Went to a spot and got the best head I've dreamed of on the trail. In my dream I paid more coins than usual for just head, but I told her I'd do it as long as she took her ass out and let me spank it while she was sucking. Popped and kicked her out.

[QUOTE=EatHerAssOut;2866547]Gentlemen I got a hilarious story for you. I was done with business in Sanford so decided to hit up the glorious paradise trail on my way home. Off the I4 exit I notice this pawg (forgot name), scooped her. I've scooped her before but she was high as fuck and kicked her out! Anyways, tonite she was "sober" and 3 minutes after picking her up my dicks in her mouth! Decent BBBJ for 20 fiber bars, would not repeat, her face is all sorts of candied up. You guys probably know her, says she's from daytona. After her I head south on the trail to find some more girls, wasnt satisfied yet. I've been eating healthy the past 48 hours, and polished off a chipotle burrito, banana, and apple for lunch. Lots of fucking food for one meal. I start to feel my bowels moving and churning. That lower abdomen feeling we have all felt before a big one. My dumbass self seems to think I can hold off though. I notice a nice meaty LSW by 7-11 and americana. Fuckin gorgeous body. I you turn to try and scoop but she didn't even flinch, just focused on walking north. I'm like fuuuckk! So I stop at the 7-11 and get some gas, moments later She just happens to get out of a truck who scooped her but obviously they didn't agree to anything, and I'm like this my chance. The guy next to me and I are both trying to call her over while were pumping gas, then we both start laughing! Once again she's just ignoring me / us and focused on walking north up trail. Weird. Hop back in car and head south. Stomach cries out again! Shit! I'm like alright I'll stop at the chick fil-a and release it. Got there and its out of order for next 30 minutes. The problem is as I was walking in I already start to relax my ass muscles to release it, just a little bit. So after I couldn't get in, I'm that much closer to droppin a bomb. Get back in car and I start to get fuckin desperate! LOL! Stop at the 7-11 a block up, get out (at this point I got to be careful with all body maneuvers) and bathroom is full. WTF! Some dude said it will be a while. Probably shootin then passed the fuck out! I ask about the womens room and clerk said can't do it. Fuck! Hop back in car and I realize I got minutes till I blast. Made you turn and head south, I think I can make it to the chipotle after sand lake, they helped do this to me anyways! Roll up to sandlake and its backed the fuck up and just turned red. FUCK!! And it begins, a little turtle head comes fully out, I felt that little fucker. I'm using all my mental energy to focus on holding this thing back, the anatomical position of being seated does not help at all. Then I feel a little more push out. My body fuckin heats up! LOL! Then I realize I have no more will power, and theres no way I'm going to get out of the seated position to standing without releasing it. Some people might say we've done shameful acts on OBT. But as I was beginning to cross sandlake I truly shamed all mongers. I finally relaxed and let it all out. LOL! FUCKING NASTY! Its all warm and was pressured to run down the back of my legs / hamstrings. Felt fucking amazing though LOL! What a way to ruin a mongers night. Got to take care of this mess so I park in a hidden spot at burlington and let as much fall out of my shorts as possible LOL!! Hits your legs, one even got my sock! Go into burlington and buys some hand towels, then head to mens room to take an epic * bath. Threw them all out, and damn that bathroom must have stank, but I know I grew numb to smell. Ass was raw after how many times I wiped with those cheap wash clothes. Jumped in car and head home. I swiped the rest of my deodorant stick on the upholstery to hopefully kill the smell, we'll find out in the morning. What a night mongers![/QUOTE]I'm CRYIN! LOL!

Did a drive by started I 4 to 528 around 6 am quite as gost out there.

[QUOTE=EatHerAssOut;2866547]Gentlemen I got a hilarious story for you. I was done with business in Sanford so decided to hit up the glorious paradise trail on my way home. Off the I4 exit I notice this pawg (forgot name), scooped her. I've scooped her before but she was high as fuck and kicked her out! Anyways, tonite she was "sober" and 3 minutes after picking her up my dicks in her mouth! Decent BBBJ for 20 fiber bars, would not repeat, her face is all sorts of candied up. You guys probably know her, says she's from daytona. After her I head south on the trail to find some more girls, wasnt satisfied yet. I've been eating healthy the past 48 hours, and polished off a chipotle burrito, banana, and apple for lunch. Lots of fucking food for one meal. I start to feel my bowels moving and churning. That lower abdomen feeling we have all felt before a big one. My dumbass self seems to think I can hold off though. I notice a nice meaty LSW by 7-11 and americana. Fuckin gorgeous body. I you turn to try and scoop but she didn't even flinch, just focused on walking north. I'm like fuuuckk! So I stop at the 7-11 and get some gas, moments later She just happens to get out of a truck who scooped her but obviously they didn't agree to anything, and I'm like this my chance. The guy next to me and I are both trying to call her over while were pumping gas, then we both start laughing! Once again she's just ignoring me / us and focused on walking north up trail. Weird. Hop back in car and head south. Stomach cries out again! Shit! I'm like alright I'll stop at the chick fil-a and release it. Got there and its out of order for next 30 minutes. The problem is as I was walking in I already start to relax my ass muscles to release it, just a little bit. So after I couldn't get in, I'm that much closer to droppin a bomb. Get back in car and I start to get fuckin desperate! LOL! Stop at the 7-11 a block up, get out (at this point I got to be careful with all body maneuvers) and bathroom is full. WTF! Some dude said it will be a while. Probably shootin then passed the fuck out! I ask about the womens room and clerk said can't do it. Fuck! Hop back in car and I realize I got minutes till I blast. Made you turn and head south, I think I can make it to the chipotle after sand lake, they helped do this to me anyways! Roll up to sandlake and its backed the fuck up and just turned red. FUCK!! And it begins, a little turtle head comes fully out, I felt that little fucker. I'm using all my mental energy to focus on holding this thing back, the anatomical position of being seated does not help at all. Then I feel a little more push out. My body fuckin heats up! LOL! Then I realize I have no more will power, and theres no way I'm going to get out of the seated position to standing without releasing it. Some people might say we've done shameful acts on OBT. But as I was beginning to cross sandlake I truly shamed all mongers. I finally relaxed and let it all out. LOL! FUCKING NASTY! Its all warm and was pressured to run down the back of my legs / hamstrings. Felt fucking amazing though LOL! What a way to ruin a mongers night. Got to take care of this mess so I park in a hidden spot at burlington and let as much fall out of my shorts as possible LOL!! Hits your legs, one even got my sock! Go into burlington and buys some hand towels, then head to mens room to take an epic * bath. Threw them all out, and damn that bathroom must have stank, but I know I grew numb to smell. Ass was raw after how many times I wiped with those cheap wash clothes. Jumped in car and head home. I swiped the rest of my deodorant stick on the upholstery to hopefully kill the smell, we'll find out in the morning. What a night mongers![/QUOTE]What makes this story so fucking funny, is that every word of it is so spot on. Been there done that. Thanks for sharing.

Sometimes when shit happens, you want to be able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a shit. Here are some shit definitions to help you explain the situation better to your friends and family.

Ghost Shit.

You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Shit.

Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Shit.

This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit.

You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it. You've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit.

This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit.

You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Shit.

You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Shit.

This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Shit.

This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

Wish Shit.

You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!

Cement Block or Oh God Shit.

You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

Snake Shit.

This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit).

Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers).

You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Shit.

This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle.

The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

The Bungee Shit.

The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Shit.

The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler.

The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber.

The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang.

The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Shit.

The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper Shit.

The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper.

The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Shit.

The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Shit.

The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche. But with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Shit.

When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.

Oh Shit! Shit.

You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!

The Never Ending Shit.

It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ouch That Hurt Shit.

The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.

Now excuse me while I evacuate my bowels.

Planing on spending some time on the trail tomorrow, starting to get real familiar with it and enjoying every moment of it. Any experienced trail mongers willing to make a do not scoop list? Whether it be crazy, smelly, or bite your weiner off, doesn't matter. From what I've read Jojo would be on the list unless you can handle her like C5's story! It would be great if you could share her name with a brief description ex: Jojo (WSW, pawg, brown hair) something like that. ThankS!

[QUOTE=Plzd269;2867160]What makes this story so fucking funny, is that every word of it is so spot on. Been there done that. Thanks for sharing.[/QUOTE]Take apple vinegar and baking soda, that will get the scent out, and the smell of apple vinegar isn't really as offensive as regular vinegar if you don't get the mix right. But given what your car smells like now, pretty sure apple vinegar will do the trick.

Dust with baking soda, then pour vinegar on it, wipe up with a towel.

I overheard a conversation that there is a heavy sting on obt tonight. Lots of poser girls and uncles playing dress up. It's a good night to stay away.

Just pulled off 528 and there are two girls working together at the bus stop next to the 711. They both walk up to the car and stay close together as they talk through the window. Both are brunettes. One thin and the other heavy. Be safe.

Did a few loops today and each time someone was getting visted by 4 undercover trucks. They had 2 white girls working for them next to 711 and the travellodge. Few more undercover driving sandlake and south. A few SW was ignoring everyone cause how many leos was out. I went out around 6. I pick up a WSW in front of Bk. Didn't get her name she wanted 30 roses. I said 20 roses and I will tip if need be. So she wanted out but before I could drop her off where I found her 4 undercover was all over the Bk. So I took that as a sign to go home. Also theres a burgundy suv undercover that's new to me. Good luck be safe.

DC.