Review or every AMP I've visited this year
Here's my review of a almost every AMP I've visited in recent memory. In fact probably the last 5 years.
I found it on bed page. They said there were new girls, or young girls, or it was under new management. I thought "oh, maybe this time it's true. " Because I'm gullible and stupid.
I arrived. The person at the front was neither young nor cute.
They asked if I've been there before. I lie and say yes to signal that they don't need to tiptoe around me. I know how this works.
I say I want someone young and cute. They are either non-commital or over-eager in saying yes.
I arrive in my room. I get totally naked to reinforce that I do, indeed, know how this works.
I wait way, way too long. Why do they think it takes 10 minutes for me to get undressed?
In comes coco or lala or mimi or some other name that is a syllable repeated twice. I look over my bare shoulder and am immediately disappointed. I gird myself, saying my imagination will be working overtime if this is going to end with a nut.
The massage sucks, of course. So I won't be getting that either. The magic words, "turn over" are said. She points to Peter and asks if I want. I think "I'm naked and I have a half-boner. Why are you even making this awkward by asking, coco?
Sometimes coco asks me how much I'll pay first. This really, really annoys me. I know that whatever number I say she'll sound disappointed to get a little more, so I say 45. She is oh so disappointed and we settle on 60, where I knew we would.
I have to use my imagination to finish while this 40 year old with too much makeup and too much bad history in her life does her job. I eventually finish by thinking (never mind. Too personal).
You know what? Yes I do want a bottle of water and a couple candies. After being out 125 dollars and a shitty massage at least I'll get that. But I'll toss the bottle because a mini bottle of water in my car is suspicious. I vow to not visit that place again.
I'm getting tired of this scene.