An Open Letter About Personal Hygiene To All Hobbyists
I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.
You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.
Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).
Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.
I wish you all great success.
Merry Christmas, fellas.
I'm out.
JaguarXF.
Inbox All Cleaned Out. Sorry About Any Inconvenience Brother Otown.
[QUOTE=Otownstamina;1962034]Jag... Your inbox is full.[/QUOTE]Just cleaned everything out. Let's roll, brothers!
JaguarXF.
And as I found out at AGG yesterday. . . .
[QUOTE=OrlandoJ;1962829]I have fully agree with JaguarXF on all basis and the only thing I have to add is that the AMP offers a tableshower take advantage of it. You will get a lot farther if the provider can scrub you clean.
OJ.[/QUOTE]The table shower can be quite relaxing too.
V.
You going to the prom or an AMP?
[QUOTE=JaguarXF;1962686]I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.
You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.
Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).
Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.
I wish you all great success.
Merry Christmas, fellas.
I'm out.
JaguarXF.[/QUOTE]Jag you left out the rule that you have to drive a rental car.
If I had your coinage I could whistle Dixie out my ass while dining at the Y and still get a great massage.
Of course, as always, YMMV.
Peace brothers & sistas.
Zen. A waste of time and jag coins
Dreamed about Zen massage in Winter Garden the other day. Heard they had a new masseuse so I thought I would give it a try.
Total waste of time. New lady by the name of Grace, negotiated nude massage with HE. She offered more, but I didn't have my Jaguar bankroll with me so I settled for the standard offering. Her idea of nude didn't match my idea of nude. If clothing is still on the body in anyway, you ain't nude. A lot of no touch zones due to her being ticklish, so she claimed. Couldn't touch the nips because she just doesn't like that.
Asked her to use as little oil as possible. 2 days later I'm still trying to get that crap off of me. Thank god for pressure washers.
As for the actual massage. It also sucked.
Put on my button-down shirt and khakis, got into my rental car and drove off into the sunset.
Total damage. 130 jag coins.
Cheyenne- MSB on Colonial
I must say I was not impressed with my dream. First they look nothing like the pics and the place did not smell nice (if you know what I mean).
I walked out wanting to see another friend but I ran out of time. I would not recommend to anyone.
Happy Hunting ya'll.
[URL]http://orlando.backpage.com/BodyRubs/let-me-be-your-sexy-secret-4030-24/9694924[/URL]
<Sigh Both Indian River and myself...
[QUOTE=NinerMan8;1963884]I never saw a post about her and I am new here, so have alittle patience with me.[/QUOTE]We had patience with you. Have patience with yourself. You say you never saw a post about her. We say you never looked. Rule 1. RTFF. Rule 2. See rule 1. Rule 3. Look at the upper right hand corner of the page. See the 'Advanced Search? (that's what I linked to on my first reply). USE IT. You will find lots of answers to your question. Read the FAQ (Link on that top blue bar as well). Read 3 months. Make that 6 months worth of postings. (= Read The Fucking Forum) You will not only learn to use the board, you will find your answers. And have a list of must sees. (Easy!
You will also learn to post your experiences before you ask. Merry Christmas.
Jagxf-I know you have seen this one
Tell us the scoop.
[URL]http://orlando.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/get-ready-for-the-holidays-the-right-way-holiday-specials/8457902[/URL]
Oriental Spa. Consistent Fail
[QUOTE=MrFuat;1965825]
I was thinking NT would be a sure thing but stored at oriental spa, another personal first. Drew a tall, big, ditzy Chinese 22 year old named ada. Marginal massage with way to much oil and roaming highly (and loudly) discouraged. On the flip she explained she is a girl and likes boys but never touched that during massage, strictly professional.
So that was Christmas, 2 swings and 2 misses!![/QUOTE]I've been to Oriental Spa several times thinking that there might be a couple of hidden gems, and in the basis of some of the rubmaps reviews. 1) I think rubmaps has a lot of bull shit reviews and 2) it just ain't going to happen at Oriental. My best after several attempts. Self. Service while the lady rubbed my sack. And yes, I too have had the wonderful experience of listening to that kid running up and down the hallway.
Would you care to provide more information?
[QUOTE=ShyGuy2175;1967837]Been while since got that wild hair to dream about a nice rub. Unfortunately my dream was more of a nightmare, dreamt of m.be. S., average rub but upsell at end after taking care of my dream guide. Won't ever repeat![/QUOTE]Hey man, sorry about your subpar experience at MBS. If you don't mind, would you inform us all who you saw? M.be. S has some fairly new provider's, so it's possible that you received a dream from a girl who's not that experienced. Also, how much coin did you dish out?
No pot of gold at the end of this Rainbow (formerly Rainbow now Sunshine Spa)
Hadn't stopped in at Rainbow in Longwood for a long time so made a spur of the moment decision to stick my head in the door.
The good: Private parking is available in the rear of the building.
The bad: If you go after dark like I did the back door is locked and you have to take the walk of shame around front waving at all of your friends driving by on 434 and nodding to the barbershop customers who are hanging around on the sidewalk talking.
The worst: The owner is working as the only therapist at this point and she is definitely in her sixties, with a portly figure. Although she did come to the door wearing a wife beater tank top with no bra on (perky nipple see's) she just wasn't doing it for me.
I left but if she's your thing have at it.