"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1814247]Gentlemen,

On the one hand, I think she must want to get back together, otherwise why would she have contacted me at all? On the other hand, will I be able to keep a little distance myself if we do end up together? It took me a long time to get over her, honestly. Do I want to open myself up to the potential of that kind of hurt again?

To add to this, I have recently met a wonderful new baby who I could easily see becoming a significant thing, and don't want to give her up. So I guess this all falls under the heading of "Be careful what you wish for."

Wish me luck, or something. I'll let you all know what happens.

Scott[/QUOTE]I can definitely see falling back into the same ole with her if she has not changed. Good luck Scotty! There is a huge risk to emotional obsession as those of us know who have been there before. I keep searching for that magic again, butr I do know that I would probably throw it all away and run off with my girl if given the chance. And then where would I be? A young affair would become an old relationship with the same stresses that all relationships have.

Keep some back Scotty. She can dump you again.

[QUOTE=Walruscl; 1813577]Six weeks into my first real SB, and I can't begin to describe this surreal experience.

Sure, I have the usual married-guy problems: discreetly securing funds, disappearing when I won't be missed, still squeamish about having to leave "real-name footprints" in hotels, risking a thermonuclear event should I screw up, etc. I'm still working on compartmentalizing those stresses, which is probably the best I'll manage.

As with many of you, dissatisfaction at home drove me to this place. In recent months I expressly made it clear my needs weren't being met, and to be fair there was a good-faith effort. Which fizzled in a few weeks and now we're back at the same square-one we've been in for years. And there are lots of other home stresses piled on top of that-careers, raising children, nearly no downtime carved out in the week to recoup, and the list goes on. Why the fairer gender does not see sex as a source of relaxation and rejuvenation I simply cannot fathom. If there was some rewarding bedroom time happening, it would go a long way towards being able to cope with everything else.

As Revvo says: be careful out there.[/QUOTE]"All a man needs is a full stomach and an empty tank to be happy " And I can do without the food.

Yeah, I have already considered that an allowance in the long term would be appropriate. It's just that for the remainder of the summer my availability for dates is going to get sporadic. Then she's starting college in September. She'll still be local, will work part-time instead of full-time, but the impact of the added workload from college is a big unknown. Add to that my weekdays-only availability, it's really unclear how frequently we'd be able to get together at that point.

So I think if a clear pattern emerges, an allowance would certainly be in our future.

She's shy about the sugar only in that she just opts to hyper-focus on the token gift that accompanies it. So far I've managed to find meaningful gifts that are a home-run both in her appreciation of receiving them and in deflecting attention away from the sugar. That said, she was more than willing to discuss whether debit cards worked for her or if she'd prefer cash (debit cards win) , and has told me that she's stockpiling them to help defray the day-to-day expenses once she's in school. So she's not *that* shy about it.

We'll see how it plays out. I think the risk of waiting for the allowance lock-in is pretty low given the extenuating circumstances.

But yes, I seem to have gotten more than my share of good fortune at the moment.

[QUOTE=LikeMike1963; 1814261]A thought. Sounds like you like her. She likes you. Maybe its time to place her on an allowance since she is "nervous" about the sugar thing. Now. Do NOT let you little head out think the big head and be overly generous. You can always add extra but it is had to reduce. Get her a green dot visa. Tell her you will add to it 2x a meh. Maybe $400 each time. You can buy the cards with cash and give her the code. It takes the direct cash thing away and will make her more comfortable.

Sounds like you may be off to great start with a good SB. That is rare. Very rare so enjoy.[/QUOTE]

Well, the general opinion around the clubhouse seems to be play it cool with my ATF, hold back a little and make her work for it. This I will do, but it will be hard for me. Normally I'm an "all in" kind of guy, but I can see the value in a more restrained approach.

It's a financial arrangement at its core, afterall, and I need to remember that she is back in the Bowl for a reason. If she were in love with me, she would likely not have left.

Even though emotions come into play in many of our sugar relationships, there is still sugar attached.

One hour to go!

Scott

Spent a few days out in Vegas. Sent numerous messages via SA and also had responses to a CL ad I posted. My goal was to find one temporary SB who would be with me 24/7. I received several promising responses, more than I'm used to (I'm from a much smaller city and it's a lot more conservative here)

One girl stood out among the others. We spoke via text for a bit the night before I flew out, then met in person a few hours after I arrived. We hit it off and she fulfilled all of my wants and needs with a very positive attitude my entire time out there. We hit it off so well that we've actually moved from sugar arrangement to long distance genuine relationship. The cynic in me questions how long it can last but the hopeful in me wants things to work out between us, as I really do like her and I feel we have a connection beyond an arrangement.

My overall report, without providing too many details that I can't go into: The POT response in Vegas was amazing! I had so many options that I could have one a night for a few weeks, had I the time and money. If any of my brothers want a great vacation spot with plenty of temporary SBs, Vegas receives my highest recommendation.

[QUOTE=F Scott; 1814334]Well, the general opinion around the clubhouse seems to be play it cool with my ATF, hold back a little and make her work for it. This I will do, but it will be hard for me. Normally I'm an "all in" kind of guy, but I can see the value in a more restrained approach.

It's a financial arrangement at its core, afterall, and I need to remember that she is back in the Bowl for a reason. If she were in love with me, she would likely not have left.

Even though emotions come into play in many of our sugar relationships, there is still sugar attached.

One hour to go!

Scott[/QUOTE]Revenge fuck her real good, and keep your emotions locked up in the vault.

Gentlemen,

Both your posts hit very close to home with me. I understand what it is like to have an ATF that is everything you want and to be dogged by her. And to just have to take it. It sucks. It happened to me with the same ATF twice. What a great girl. But with her issues she could not maintain a LT relationship. And now I am to the point after the last dumping. That if she did come back. Which is likely.

I would not be able to trust her and would tell her as much. Besides I have so many POTs and SBs that I can find a new ATF easily. Be warned the heart can fuck you up on this. And the crazy thing is that if you are a little more distant and hard to get. That will probably attract her to you even more.

Something I learned a long time ago. Don't look at what women says look at what they do. She dumped you. She did not blink when it happened. And now she is coming back and she wants the sugar. Not criticizing your ATF. Just saying: stay conscious!

Walruscl same for you. I am not jaded believe me I understand. Just be careful. It is a great feeling. When you have been neglected for so long. And you have a young beautiful baby trying to fuck your brains out and telling you all of those good things. I know it feels great. But be conscious. Look at what she does not at what she says. What would happen if the sugar stopped?

Enjoy it and go for it. Just don't fall for it.

Having said all of that. Human emotions are very difficult to control. So even with all of this logic and the collective experience of this board. Emotions many times trump everything. They are the driving power behind all of this. Hell I fell for it.

Be careful out there.

Revvo

A lot happened at the end of this week. So I have to do a supplemental report to keep track. More activity with the POTs than with the current SB's or ATF. Moving forward and culling a few out.

REVVO_ATF: No contact since last report. I will text her next week to set something up. Won't waste your time here.

REVVO_POT1: So my little southern fried cutie is good to go for the following week. I have set up a fly in visit for Monday the 22nd. I got a great deal on a flight, and a four star hotel room for $60 per night. No shit. She is a woman with her own life and travels a lot for her small business. Very independent and cute as hell. Long dark hair deep blue eyes and a nice thick body with curves that are awesome. Nice fine titites. She is very excited and so am I. So I am going to be with her for an extended period of time night and day and we never have met in person. But we have had a lot of phone calls texts, photos. I am taking a chance but so is she.

REVVO_POT2A / B: So I set up three M&G's yesterday morning, the first one was with POT2. I set one M&G up at 10 am, another at 12PM and another at 2PM. So she comes with her roommate and fellow POT for 'safety' reasons. I consider this to be my number one POT. So they were on time and it was awesome. The most fun I ever had on a M&G yet. Great time they were so cute and giggling and full of life and sexual energy. Friendly conversant, outgoing, silly and serious all in one. We talked about fun stuff and sexy stuff. Her friend is even cuter than she is. She is tall thin with a washboard stomach and hard body and soft skin like silk, small titties, beautiful blue eyes and what an ass. I give her an updated 7. 5/8/10. Most important she likes me too. The attraction is very very strong. And that means so much. Her friend is a 9/8/9. With a set of the most gorgeous soft natural titties. I am giving this a modified number since there is a strong implication we may doing some two on one action. I am very excited about this / these girls. My girl was all over me from the beginning and I was all over her. Her kisses were great and lips so soft. And even got a lot of touching and feeling from her friend. So they were so excited to see me again and so am I. We are scheduled for the next date for Monday afternoon. I am taking my time with this for now. No rush. Plenty of pussy on my regular SB's. But this could potentially be my ATF.

REVVO_POT3: So I did this M&G at 12PM and she was a little late. Because she had to go back home. Her dress was too see through and she was not wearing underwear. I shit you not. Well she was very very cute. 5' Latina 30 YO, and she was very very cute. Nice rack cute figure. Really nice legs and such soft skin. This girl is a real spinner. She is a size 0 and bet she is not over 105. Large red lips and such a sexy mouth. I give her a 9/8/8. A few tats. Has her own place and is in college. A little slow getting to our meet but warmed up nicely when she got there. She was ready to go. I think if I had the time I could have fucked her that day. She is ready to go. We had a little make out session as I walked her to my car. Very very hot. She feels great. And kisses phemomenal. I could tell she wanted more. She wants me to come see her every time I come to town. She has her own condo so we may be able to meet there. Date is set for Monday night. Got a busy Monday set up. And I will be tearing that pussy up let me tell you.

REVVO_POT5: This was my 2pm M&G and she vanished. Texted me back late and told me her phone was dead. I have heard this many times. But not mad. Tried several times to get some more pics. And finally she sent another. She is far away and is hard to get in touch with. She swears she really wants to meet me. But I am not so sure I want to go through all of the hoops. We will see if I have time. Besides I have to fuck some of my regular SB's next week. And squeeze in some work. Besides she looks a little chubby in some of the photos. I give her a 7/7/6 right now. We shall see.

REVVO_SB2: I let this one go and another POT that is not on the list. Very nice girl cute a little over weight but too shy and I have to do too much work. I will continue to cull some more out.

So I only did updates on babies that there was a change on. This update dealt almost completely with POTs. I will continue to refine my list and work it to a more manageable level. There is a lot more to go. I only log onto the SD site every once in a while and I do not email any more pots for now. This is just about distilling this list down more and more.

Lets be careful out there.

REVVO

[url]http://www.sugardaddyforme.com/index.php?page=survey[/url]

[QUOTE=HollywoodGuy;1815404][url]http://www.sugardaddyforme.com/index.php?page=survey[/url][/QUOTE]I read that and the only thing I could think of was "selection bias". I'd be interested in seeing a random sample of Americans across the entire spectrum of social, economic, politcal and religious strata of our society.

I need to go back and read the Kinsey report summaries again.

[QUOTE=Zomby; 1815461]I read that and the only thing I could think of was "selection bias". I'd be interested in seeing a random sample of Americans across the entire spectrum of social, economic, politcal and religious strata of our society.

I need to go back and read the Kinsey report summaries again.[/QUOTE]There were a few things I found interesting in there in spite of the demographics not being broken down more thoroughly, such as by age or race. My babies have been all over the map as regards to the amount of foreplay they want or how long they want to fuck at any given moment. Overall I found the babies in this survey to be quite adventurous. The one thing I have come to really enjoy as an oldster is having frank discussions about sex and being able to leverage my experience to nail down the young ones so to speak. Most girls know that the guys that talk the most talk don"t always walk the walk. So there is a fine line between convincing them of the returns they will get for their time with you and sounding cocky. I typically converse on the psychological as opposed to the physical aspects to convey my message as I believe short of a medical problem most women's ability to have awesome sex is 80% emotional and 20% physical.

As a younger man I always relied on my prowess to win the girls over and never understood the value and returns of romancing them (and didnt really give a shit). If you've got a true nymph you can sneak by with very little romance, but as I am now almost exclusively focused on the 18 to 21 year olds I find the overall confidence and empathy I project is getting me 50% of what I am looking for and the prowess the other 50%. So you can't really have one without the other.

Thats why I loved that show, Jersey Shore. Because after any girl has breezed through a few of those types they are primed for what we have to offer.

All women at some age (it could be 18 or 35) have a watershed moment (or moments) when their sexual potential is fully realized. I love to be the guy they share those experiences with.

Gentlemen,

As you all know, I met with my ATF, who I had not seen or communicated with in over a year since she broke it off, on Friday for lunch. The prevailing wisdom from all of you was to keep it light, easy, and hold my emotions in check so as not to scare her off, tip my hand, or otherwise give her an insight into my mindset in case it gave her an unfair advantage over me. All good advice, none of which I was able to put into practice!

The minute I saw her, my heart just lept, and we held each other in a long, wonderful embrace, with a wonderful kiss, right on the street in front of the restaurant where we were having lunch. The first words out of her mouth were,"I've missed you so much", to which I replied,"you have no idea how much I've missed you!" So much for keeping my reserve.

The rest of the day was idyllic. We talked and laughed and touched each other lightly just like old times, and spent almost 5 hours sitting in the garden of the restaurant just enjoying each others company. Apparently she is now living with the person she left me for, and has been all that time, but the SO is totally cool with her seeing me as well. Apparently she was telling the SO about me and how we used to go to this little park on the lakefront for picnics, and just suddenly realized how much she missed having me in her life! Theirs is an open relationship, so she said she was going to get back in touch with me and got the green light, even though my ATF was clear that it was going to be an intimate, physical relationship between us. And here's the astonishing part, she doesn't want sugar, just the occasional gift or meal now and then!

As one of my brothers pointed out to me, this has the potential for being a long-term, stable relationship for me, as long as the roommate stays cool. Never in my wildest imagination would I have guessed this is the way this would all play out, but who am I to complain? There is a decidedly different feeling between us this time, which I can only describe as an increased maturity. It is as if, since she was the one who broke it off, and she was the one who resumed contact, there is a commitment on her part that was perhaps not there before, despite how long we were together. I'm still trying to play it a little cool, so as to not scare her off, and I guess I'll feel comfortable once we are able to meet again in the FC, but for now, as you can imagine, I am over the moon with happiness!

Nando and all you other brothers out there who have lost your ATFs, don't give up hope!

And thanks to all of you who have been so supportive to me over this. As I said, I could never have guessed this is how it would have played out.

Scott

Congratulations Scotty! I am so happy for you!

The danger for me in that situation with ATF is the complete rejection of my "real" life. I was not, and still am not able to, look at my SO in the proper emotional perspective. If my ATF were to return I would probably leave it all and run off with her. So if you want to keep your married life intact til "death do you part " then try real hard to keep a bit of yourself intact for your SO.

Just sayin'

[QUOTE=F Scott;1816689]Gentlemen, The prevailing wisdom from all of you was to keep it light, easy, and hold my emotions in check so as not to scare her off, tip my hand, or otherwise give her an insight into my mindset in case it gave her an unfair advantage over me. All good advice, none of which I was able to put into practice![/QUOTE]I knew it! [ball busting in a Brotherly way]

Damn Scott, you are one lucky fellow, er should I say Scotty being the benefactor for the most part. You couldn't have imagined the transpiring of events, but that is what makes the hobby so much fun. The unpredictable. Glad to hear that you will be occassionally dipping into the golden well with your ATF and sans the Sugar. You must be a real studmuffin there Scottsman. Congrats on the news and events to come, or cum! Cheers, V

Chatting with is girl / guy from SA.

I need you guys to let me know if this is a dude. My gut is telling me it is.