General Reports

[QUOTE=GentlemanPerv; 1897751]There were a few arrests a few days ago for procuring, loitering and soliciting. All in the 5600 block of Montgomery Road in Pleasant Ridge.

I'm assuming those are not SW unless that's a new zone I'm unaware of.

Is there a business there of some sort? I used to live not far from there and I hate to think I missed out on some fun.[/QUOTE]There is a massage place just past the school. But I'm not sure if they offered extras and I've never seen a SW there. But If I recall sexyasskristen was located very close by. But I have no clue anyone have any info?

[QUOTE=TMeister; 1894573]Those AOL chat rooms were custom designed for getting pussy. You could do a search filter and find all women that were currently online within a certain number of miles from your ZIP code. I lived in a small town halfway between Cleveland and Pittsburgh but I still managed to find plenty of horny gals in both those cities plus a good amount in the smaller towns. My dick was gettin' overtime action in those days! Nothin' better than chatting with a 19 year old girl online and things are getting hot and she IMs you back with "Want to hook up tonight?"

I dabbled in the Yahoo chat rooms around 2004 or so but they werent yielding the bountiful poon like I got from the AOL boards.

Bring those damn AOL chat rooms back![/QUOTE]I just found them again. You have to download the aol software. I used to get laid a lot from chics I met in aol chat rooms. Girls all over the country.

Let me offer some advice. I have a degree in psychology, but only a Bachelors. Firstly, you need to tell your wife that you want to go to counseling on your own to deal with your "sex addiction." Go to a male counselor and start discussing with him how you need to transition to two households. Even if you never do anything else, having your own counselor will be empowering. You need to discuss your issues with your own personal counselor. You may be a "sex addict," but you will never recover. That is ok. That is what you have to work with. Eventually, you need to divorce this woman and get a $300-400 dollar apartment. People get divorced all the time. It is for your and her own good. Your kids will deal with it one way or another. You are not totally responsible for their happiness. When they become adults they will have to work out their own shit like you did. My guess is that all of these reasons why you can't leave are just excuses because you are scared at all of the fall out that will happen when you go. It won't be so bad. I know it is hard, but you shouldn't be a prisoner to some BS protestant value system. Your wife thinks you owe her your life because our culture has become feminist and insane. Everyone will adjust over time. Once you have left, get a really cheap place. Let your new "sex addiction" counselor be your guide and support you through all of this. He will be a licensed counselor, but he is there to help you leave your wife, not cure your "addiction." Leave a note and get out. Just get out. Just get the F out. Tell you wife you need some time alone and get a hotel for a week, then start transitioning. Your wife probably doesn't love you, but only has her own fear of abandonment issues. I wish I was in a place to help people like you. I would love to pick you up in a limo and drop you off at your new apartment with a nice working girl waiting at that door.

QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy; 1892729]I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, , Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.[/QUOTE]

Maybe I am off detention! My posts are showing up much faster now and therefore become relevant to the current subject being discussed. It used to be my posts had to be approved by a moderator cause of my wordung and pronunciation. Hopefully all is well now.

Fuck that. Don't leave your wife. Introduce her to the business, let her earn her keep by peddling her wares. Have her give you the money she earns so you can spend it on your own mongering activities. By the way when did this site become a place for marriage counseling?

QUOTE=BahamaMama; 1898717]Let me offer some advice. I have a degree in psychology, but only a Bachelors. Firstly, you need to tell your wife that you want to go to counseling on your own to deal with your "sex addiction." Go to a male counselor and start discussing with him how you need to transition to two households. Even if you never do anything else, having your own counselor will be empowering. You need to discuss your issues with your own personal counselor. You may be a "sex addict," but you will never recover. That is ok. That is what you have to work with. Eventually, you need to divorce this woman and get a $300-400 dollar apartment. People get divorced all the time. It is for your and her own good. Your kids will deal with it one way or another. You are not totally responsible for their happiness. When they become adults they will have to work out their own shit like you did. My guess is that all of these reasons why you can't leave are just excuses because you are scared at all of the fall out that will happen when you go. It won't be so bad. I know it is hard, but you shouldn't be a prisoner to some BS protestant value system. Your wife thinks you owe her your life because our culture has become feminist and insane. Everyone will adjust over time. Once you have left, get a really cheap place. Let your new "sex addiction" counselor be your guide and support you through all of this. He will be a licensed counselor, but he is there to help you leave your wife, not cure your "addiction." Leave a note and get out. Just get out. Just get the F out. Tell you wife you need some time alone and get a hotel for a week, then start transitioning. Your wife probably doesn't love you, but only has her own fear of abandonment issues. I wish I was in a place to help people like you. I would love to pick you up in a limo and drop you off at your new apartment with a nice working girl waiting at that door.

QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy; 1892729]I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, , Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

Which I will not quote and copy it again...hits pretty close to home. I think if you are married you really should consider what will happen WHEN you get caught, and the lives it will change, and the destruction it will cause. Its more than just loosing your happy home, and half your stuff.

If you are unhappy, then maybe a divorce should come first. I have done the counselling, and the sex addict thing. I believe I am a sex addict...and I also believe MOST guys on here are as well. (my opinion) I am still married, but the damage is done. Once the trust is gone...it is gone. And the love from someone who wanted to love you forever is tainted. Is it really worth it? I say no...it truly is not. I happen to have the worlds most forgiving wife. (which makes it worse if you can believe that).

So I do have advice for the married guy:

1) comunicate with your wife right now, and see where you stand right now in your marriage. Instead of saying "if you gave me more sex it wouldn't happen" have sex with HER. She loves you and probably misses sex with you just as much. If you spent half the effort being interested in her that you spend chasing hookers..she'd be on your jock 8 days a week.

2) if you see sex providers...use condoms...GET TESTED every 12 weeks. Don't infect your wife.

3) have a lawyer's phone number handy. You will need one.

4) don't ever use your home or work computer, or your real cell phone for outside sex activity. A burn phone and an old smartphone that hooks to public wifi should be all you need. This is evidence that will be used against you, or get you fired.

5) realize that you may be a sex addict or that this activity may lead to that. Sex addiction IS real, and is a critical risk to your mental health. Go to an SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) meeting once, you will get a REALLY different view of things.

6) think of what will happen to your relationship with your children WHEN they find out. Is this the legacy you want?

7) lastly, if you are ok with all of that, and can successfully daily lie to yourself and your family...then bring on the hookers.

P.S.: I am a sex addict. And I am a hopeless lot. I had the perfect life...one I would gladly take back and give this all away.

Has anyone ever met a girl named Anna on livelinks that says she is in Western Hills. She says she is 5'3" 135 lbs. "cheerleader body." She can't send pics supposedly. Says I can walk away if I don't like what I see. .8 for FS. PM if you have any info. Thanks.

[QUOTE=TriOval;1902667]Which I will not quote and copy it again...hits pretty close to home. I think if you are married you really should consider what will happen WHEN you get caught, and the lives it will change, and the destruction it will cause. Its more than just loosing your happy home, and half your stuff.

If you are unhappy, then maybe a divorce should come first. I have done the counselling, and the sex addict thing. I believe I am a sex addict...and I also believe MOST guys on here are as well. (my opinion) I am still married, but the damage is done. Once the trust is gone...it is gone. And the love from someone who wanted to love you forever is tainted. Is it really worth it? I say no...it truly is not. I happen to have the worlds most forgiving wife. (which makes it worse if you can believe that).

So I do have advice for the married guy:

1) comunicate with your wife right now, and see where you stand right now in your marriage. Instead of saying "if you gave me more sex it wouldn't happen" have sex with HER. She loves you and probably misses sex with you just as much. If you spent half the effort being interested in her that you spend chasing hookers..she'd be on your jock 8 days a week.

2) if you see sex providers...use condoms...GET TESTED every 12 weeks. Don't infect your wife.

3) have a lawyer's phone number handy. You will need one.

4) don't ever use your home or work computer, or your real cell phone for outside sex activity. A burn phone and an old smartphone that hooks to public wifi should be all you need. This is evidence that will be used against you, or get you fired.

5) realize that you may be a sex addict or that this activity may lead to that. Sex addiction IS real, and is a critical risk to your mental health. Go to an SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) meeting once, you will get a REALLY different view of things.

6) think of what will happen to your relationship with your children WHEN they find out. Is this the legacy you want?

7) lastly, if you are ok with all of that, and can successfully daily lie to yourself and your family...then bring on the hookers.

P.S.: I am a sex addict. And I am a hopeless lot. I had the perfect life...one I would gladly take back and give this all away.[/QUOTE]For anyone thinking about getting Married and are Mongering, don't get Married. You want the Perfect Life? Stay Single. You guys that are Married be for warned, you Will Get Caught.

[QUOTE=RonM;1902687]For anyone thinking about getting Married and are Mongering, don't get Married. You want the Perfect Life? Stay Single. You guys that are Married be for warned, you Will Get Caught.[/QUOTE]Why not meet her for a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Chat about the weather for a min, then get busy if all checks out. If she declines then you have your answer.

You're right. This is not a place for marriage counseling. I was just trying to keep guys from making some of the same mistakes I made. I'll keep my Dr. Phil crap to myself from now on, lol.

The wife probably would make a decent provider, although her BBBJ skills need improvement. ;)

Play safe

[QUOTE=Cincyjim;1899224]Fuck that. Don't leave your wife. Introduce her to the business, let her earn her keep by peddling her wares. Have her give you the money she earns so you can spend it on your own mongering activities. By the way when did this site become a place for marriage counseling?

[QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy;1902845]You're right. This is not a place for marriage counseling. I was just trying to keep guys from making some of the same mistakes I made. I'll keep my Dr. Phil crap to myself from now on, lol.[/QUOTE]Don't do that, I enjoyed reading about how this is working out for other people.

[QUOTE=Varoom;1902720]Why not meet her for a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Chat about the weather for a min, then get busy if all checks out. If she declines then you have your answer.[/QUOTE]Thats the beauty of having an apartment I do host sometimes starting out with coffee I believe you can produce more dates by just being social with no sexual strings attached sometimes people just get lonely and coffee always is a great link to maybe a pretty fantastic date deafinetly worth a shot for some of you shy guys.

You did not ask for marital advice, you simply shared your experience. It is relevant, important, and well written!


[QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy;1902845]You're right. This is not a place for marriage counseling. I was just trying to keep guys from making some of the same mistakes I made. I'll keep my Dr. Phil crap to myself from now on, lol.

The wife probably would make a decent provider, although her BBBJ skills need improvement. ;)

Play safe

I enjoyed the marital perspective posts, the hobby certainly entered into my divorce, along w lots of other stuff. strip clubs are full of guys wanting to talk to pretty ladies. personally I think coffee with Silky sounds awesome! but I might dribble it all right down my chin from distraction
and be too damn shy to do anything but stare and lust,


QUOTE=SilkyWetness;1903281]Thats the beauty of having an apartment I do host sometimes starting out with coffee I believe you can produce more dates by just being social with no sexual strings attached sometimes people just get lonely and coffee always is a great link to maybe a pretty fantastic date deafinetly worth a shot for some of you shy guys.[/QUOTE]