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[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2898503][URL]http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/thp/5566404107.html[/URL] Bob, if this is the lady you are talking about, you can count me in. She only charges. 4 for an hour and unlimited farts. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]I only got a massage and he from her. I don't think I want more. LOL! Rocket Dork.
Yep. That's her. The creepiest thing about her is her husband is in the house all the time. During the sessions. I had a few sessions with her, but not really that great. I haven't been in a while. Bob.
[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2897891][URL]https://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/thp/5560419937.html[/URL] Bob, now I don't feel so bad about some of the stuff that has happened to me. I wonder if you are talking about the lady in this link? Even after all of those farts you still managed to lay the pipe, priceless. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Bob521;2897869]About a year ago. I was getting a massage from an older Chinese woman in the Round Lake area. Works out of her house. Visited after lunch. And she just kept farting.
She'd lean forward, and pffft!. Said nothing. Then lean forward again. Pfffft! Again and again. My eyes were watering. But yes, you guessed it. Fucked her anyway. Bob.[/QUOTE]That's hilarious Bob! I've seen her and experienced the same gaseous anomalies about six months or a year ago. I was glad to get out of there as soon as possible.
[QUOTE=MrSmartyPants;2899082]That's hilarious Bob! I've seen her and experienced the same gaseous anomalies about six months or a year ago. I was glad to get out of there as soon as possible.[/QUOTE]You two are super human, I thought it is our DNA to laugh at farting. One fart you are not out, I can even see two farts with umpire barely moving, but three farts you have got to be out, laughing.
Too bad it is not too easy to do tit for that on that one (now I am beyond silly, but LOL).
[QUOTE=Bob521;2897869]About a year ago. I was getting a massage from an older Chinese woman in the Round Lake area. Works out of her house. Visited after lunch. And she just kept farting.
She'd lean forward, and pffft!. Said nothing. Then lean forward again. Pfffft! Again and again. My eyes were watering. But yes, you guessed it. Fucked her anyway. Bob.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=MrSmartyPants;2899082]That's hilarious Bob! I've seen her and experienced the same gaseous anomalies about six months or a year ago. I was glad to get out of there as soon as possible.[/QUOTE]I was thinking that it would be funny to give her a dose of her own medicine. My plan was to schedule a 3 PM session with her. Before the session I would spend at least 2 hours at Taco Bell feasting on bean burritos and Mexican pizzas. Once the session started I would let the duck calls start. I am just a little worried that this plan might back fire on me. The hot and juicy Taco Bell farts might be like a mating call to her and she would end up falling in love with me. SaintChuck.
[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2899114]I was thinking that it would be funny to give her a dose of her own medicine. My plan was to schedule a 3 PM session with her. Before the session I would spend at least 2 hours at Taco Bell feasting on bean burritos and Mexican pizzas. Once the session started I would let the duck calls start. I am just a little worried that this plan might back fire on me. The hot and juicy Taco Bell farts might be like a mating call to her and she would end up falling in love with me. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]Jowsus Chuck! As if you don't have enough natural disasters already happening to you. Actually, my concern after two hours at Taco Bell with bean burritos and pizza wouldn't be farts, but sharts. Hell, you just might be "touching cloth".
[QUOTE=Jadedone;2898120]I had an MP that had really smelly feet once. When I was on my stomach, I got a big whiff every time she walked by the head of the massage table. It was horrible. Nice gal, but whoa![/QUOTE]At the beginning of March I went to the Spa in St. Charles bright and early to see raspy voice. We had a routine and she knew that I wasn't there for a massage. Anyway, we were only about 15 minutes into the hour session and I popped. I knew it would be around 10 minutes before I was ready to go again, so I offered to give her a foot massage. She had on her usual puffy skirt and leggings. She went to take her leggings off and I noticed that she was wearing these big furry bed slippers. I am laying stomach down on the table and she pulls up a chair and puts her feet in my face. I was instantly overcome by foot stink, it was a combination of a steamy pile of dog crap covered in old parmesan cheese. After a few minutes of this evil torture I put my face into the hole in the massage table and kept rubbing her feet. She asked me what was wrong, I told her that my neck was hurting from this awkward position. I kept rubbing her feet, but I noticed that the smell was getting worse. I started looking around through the hole and to my left I saw her nasty slippers. She had kicked them off under the table and they were just to the left of the hole in the table. After a few minutes I couldn't take it anymore, so I flipped over and told her it was time for more fun. After the session I was sitting in my vehicle and I must have used about 8 ounces of hand sanitizer from my AMP emergency kit. SaintChuck.
If you like farts, call Ying. (LOL). Bob.
[QUOTE=Roxane;2898665]I am tired to busting my money out and getting rubbed by ugly old ladies. Suggestions for good parlours / in calls?[/QUOTE]
I think I posted about my friend "L" getting stuck in central Illinois for a week. She said a few of those guys had "stinky ass". And she'd say whaoaoa! It was the funniest way she said it. Like she was going to faint.
This is the same woman I've really fallen for. SO the definition of "love" is being with a woman for six hours in bed, clinching a fart. When I would leave her, I'd be lighting up my car for twenty minutes. Windows down of course. Bob.
[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2899169]At the beginning of March I went to the Spa in St. Charles bright and early to see raspy voice. We had a routine and she knew that I wasn't there for a massage. Anyway, we were only about 15 minutes into the hour session and I popped. I knew it would be around 10 minutes before I was ready to go again, so I offered to give her a foot massage. She had on her usual puffy skirt and leggings. She went to take her leggings off and I noticed that she was wearing these big furry bed slippers. I am laying stomach down on the table and she pulls up a chair and puts her feet in my face. I was instantly overcome by foot stink, it was a combination of a steamy pile of dog crap covered in old parmesan cheese. After a few minutes of this evil torture I put my face into the hole in the massage table and kept rubbing her feet. She asked me what was wrong, I told her that my neck was hurting from this awkward position. I kept rubbing her feet, but I noticed that the smell was getting worse. I started looking around through the hole and to my left I saw her nasty slippers. She had kicked them off under the table and they were just to the left of the hole in the table. After a few minutes I couldn't take it anymore, so I flipped over and told her it was time for more fun. After the session I was sitting in my vehicle and I must have used about 8 ounces of hand sanitizer from my AMP emergency kit. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]
I was in a spa waiting for the lady in the area where they hang out. There was a letter hanging on the wall from their land lord telling them they were adding a fee to the rent since it seemed they had clogged up the sewers with feminine hygiene products and baby wipes. LOL.
[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2899169]At the beginning of March I went to the Spa in St. Charles bright and early to see raspy voice. We had a routine and she knew that I wasn't there for a massage. Anyway, we were only about 15 minutes into the hour session and I popped. I knew it would be around 10 minutes before I was ready to go again, so I offered to give her a foot massage. She had on her usual puffy skirt and leggings. She went to take her leggings off and I noticed that she was wearing these big furry bed slippers. I am laying stomach down on the table and she pulls up a chair and puts her feet in my face. I was instantly overcome by foot stink, it was a combination of a steamy pile of dog crap covered in old parmesan cheese. After a few minutes of this evil torture I put my face into the hole in the massage table and kept rubbing her feet. She asked me what was wrong, I told her that my neck was hurting from this awkward position. I kept rubbing her feet, but I noticed that the smell was getting worse. I started looking around through the hole and to my left I saw her nasty slippers. She had kicked them off under the table and they were just to the left of the hole in the table. After a few minutes I couldn't take it anymore, so I flipped over and told her it was time for more fun. After the session I was sitting in my vehicle and I must have used about 8 ounces of hand sanitizer from my AMP emergency kit. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]A.
[QUOTE=Bob521;2899207]I think I posted about my friend "L" getting stuck in central Illinois for a week. She said a few of those guys had "stinky ass". And she'd say whaoaoa! It was the funniest way she said it. Like she was going to faint.
This is the same woman I've really fallen for. SO the definition of "love" is being with a woman for six hours in bed, clinching a fart. When I would leave her, I'd be lighting up my car for twenty minutes. Windows down of course. Bob.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Bob521;2899202]If you like farts, call Ying. (LOL). Bob.[/QUOTE]I want to ask all the guys who had gaseous session? How did the fart smell? Loling.
[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2899114]I was thinking that it would be funny to give her a dose of her own medicine. My plan was to schedule a 3 PM session with her. Before the session I would spend at least 2 hours at Taco Bell feasting on bean burritos and Mexican pizzas. Once the session started I would let the duck calls start. I am just a little worried that this plan might back fire on me. The hot and juicy Taco Bell farts might be like a mating call to her and she would end up falling in love with me. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]To take revenge of all the poisnous gas inhaled by my bros here. I promise that I will not shit for 3 days and will remain on 'high bean' diet. Then I will have a session with her and make sure she gets choked from the poisonous emission from my exhaust.
[QUOTE=Roxane;2899752]I want to ask all the guys who had gaseous session? How did the fart smell? Loling.[/QUOTE]Got another one that I'm sure I've back channeled with a couple of mongers:
Main Spa, or whatever iteration it was at the time, its the place on Main Street near Downtown St. Charles. First and last time at that place. Grandma must have farted 3-4 times during the massage. The first time she did it, I thought I was hearing things.
But it kept happening! It seemed the more she farted, the worst the smell got! Not sure if it was the kimchi or what, but it was horrible! Total boner killer. Refused any extra services. And vowed never to return.
Any intel on Cindy from Rose on Douglas? I was told she is on vacation last two times I called the manager.
[QUOTE=ArielDude28;2905502]Any intel on Cindy from Rose on Douglas? I was told she is on vacation last two times I called the manager.[/QUOTE]Vacation = went to new york / california = gone.
-w.