General Reports

[QUOTE=Todd Cincy; 1893008]Thank you for sharing. I copied and forwarded this to one of my married friends who just started hobbying. I was the one who introduced him to the hobby. (For years it was just me telling him about my adventures; but then his married sex life went south.)

I still feel a bit guilty for inadvertently inducting him, as he has two young children (ages 13 and 7).

On a related note, I would be curious to see a breakdown of what percentage of us are single vs. Married.[/QUOTE]I "feel" for the poster but he STILL gets more sex than I get. LOL.

My first marriage ended because I 'cheated' GF or SW or Pro. It doesn't matter some marriages fail because someone isn't getting what they want.

My new wife has long ago admitted my sex drive is higher than hers. And really doesn't mind the few times I go to strip clubs. Recent she hinted that she would 'forgive' my seeing a hooker, since their wouldn't be any emotional involvement

Guess I m not alone! I think k I was doomed to find the hobby after I found the stack of my dads skin mags in the bathroom drawer. My mom pretended to not know about. After I got married and had my first kid she did not want to go out much and lost the sex urge cept when the hormones raged about quarterly. Then it felt like she was doing me a favor. My first sp introduced me to a client of hers prob 13 yes ago we both have played game since. I stayed in marriage to raise my daughters, they are happy I did. Now I am divorced happily but seem to find all the crazies to date, some of which are hot. Much easier to play here any chance I get $ the ladies are lovely.

[QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy; 1892729]I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, , Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.[/QUOTE]Sounds like you have a real control freak for a spouse, everyone has issues and she seems to have plenty to go around. I'd rather live under a bridge than put up with that shit.

[QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy; 1892729]I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, , Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.[/QUOTE]I was in a similar situation at the beginning, got caught, did therapy, blah blah blah. I held up my end of the deal but got nothing in return. I ended up getting divorced after 12 years of marriage (the last 4 with NO SEXUAL CONTACT. I stayed for the kids). Flat out told her in front of her lawyer "If you used your mouth for something other than bitching at me all the time, things may have ended up different." (stupid I know, but I have a temper and I'm very sarcastic. Dangerous and expensive combo). Although I'm broke most of the time, I don't have to listen to her if I don't want to. THAT make me happy.

[QUOTE=Todd Cincy; 1893000]Disclaimer: I have never been to one. What I have consistently heard, though, is that it's typically 10 or 12 guys waiting in line to hit it with an obese woman. From what I hear, most also don't allow single men (which makes sense, from their perspective, I guess.)

It seems that the swinging lifestyle would pay off best if you had a hot significant other who was also into the lifestyle. Then you could meet attractive couples and bi women on the Internet. But how many of us are so fortunate?

A swing club is a engaging fantasy, but I think that for most of us, the hobby is a much more certain route to satisfaction.[/QUOTE]A former girlfriend and I used to frequent 101 in Dayton, sounds like it was similar 440, very few high quality ladies, quite a few women past their prime (both age and weight) , tons of guys, and food. If you lower your standards more than slightly, you could easily get laid. It would be cheaper to spring for a GFE in many cases, plus you don't have to compete.

[QUOTE=Doingitmyway;1893537]A former girlfriend and I used to frequent 101 in Dayton, sounds like it was similar 440, very few high quality ladies, quite a few women past their prime (both age and weight) , tons of guys, and food. If you lower your standards more than slightly, you could easily get laid. It would be cheaper to spring for a GFE in many cases, plus you don't have to compete.[/QUOTE]As noted, I'll defer to those who have actually been. However, my direct experience with "adult dating"and "meet hot women who are looking for sex" schemes have not been positive.

About 20 years ago (when I was still a young guy myself) I joined Playtime International, or something like that. They attempted to pair me up with middle-aged women who were 40 to 50 pounds overweight. As the saying goes,"the odds were good, but the goods were odd". No thanks. (This was about the same time that I learned about the hobby.)

And about 14 years ago I fell for the sales pitches of at least one of the "adult dating" websites that were then novelties on the Internet. Nothing but porn scams and come-ons from bisexual and gay men. I spent 6 months dealing with the spam problems that resulted. (Yes, I had only one email account back then.)

If you really want to "get laid for free" on a massive scale, about the only way I have found is to get yourself in the best shape possible, and then really, really work the conventional venues. But the "hot women looking for sex" dating ventures are almost always a waste of time, in my experience.

There is a reason why ladies are able to charge for their time. If there were lots of attractive young women looking for free, indiscriminate sex with middle-aged men, few of us would be here.

Just wanted to let everyone know, I will be taking a few days off as I deal with the death of my sister and getting thru the funeral.

I will post upon my return.

Until then, all have fun and stay safe.

[QUOTE=Janet420; 1893633]Just wanted to let everyone know, I will be taking a few days off as I deal with the death of my sister and getting thru the funeral.

I will post upon my return.

Until then, all have fun and stay safe.[/QUOTE]I do not even know if this is proper as far as etiquette, but I would like to offer you all of my sympathies and condolences on your loss. As always.

I think your life story is probably the norm for married guys rather than the exception. I believe 95% plus of marriages become sexless and dull after a certain period of time. I guess there is validity is sticking around to help raise kids. That is a worthy endeavor in our society despite a sexless (and loveless?) marriage. Kids need a Mom and Dad around.

That being said, I'm glad I never got married. I realized when I first started FAP'ing at age 15 that I get bored too easily with one girl, and so I've never really had a relationship last longer than a few months. There's too much pussy out there in the world I need to sample and enjoy, so that explains my eternal bachelorhood. I admit I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on the stable home life with little kiddies running around, but I got nieces and nephews I can visit so that sorta fills the void. Given the outrageous costs of raising kids and college tuition these days, having kids makes no sense for me unless I win $100 million in the Powerball and even then I'd give it a lot of thought before taking the plunge.

So I try to make do with what I have. Which is a few spare duckets to enjoy the mongering hobby and maybe even hook up with a real date using the popular meeting sites. I tend to get enough action to satisfy my loins at age 43. Luckily I don't have the raging hormones making me think about poontang 27 hrs. A day like I was in my 20's and 30's. LOL. I'm starting to think more often with the big head these days so that means I avoid a lot of poo-poo that you married guys have to deal with.

As a side note. Did anyone in here ever meet women off the AOL chat rooms when they were popular in the 90's? Fuck man, I met a LOT of girls from there during my 20's and I got to say my sex life was pretty active from it. I'd say between 1996 and 2000 I probably met close to 50 girls from AOL chat rooms and banged at least 40 of them (or just BBBJ). I really miss those damn chat rooms! I tried the Facebook chats but they seem boring as fuck compared to those awesome AOL chats. Anybody else have fun with them?

Cheers!

[QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy; 1892729]I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, , Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Waltmore;1893889]I do not even know if this is proper as far as etiquette, but I would like to offer you all of my sympathies and condolences on your loss. As always.[/QUOTE]Thank you and your condolences are much appreciated.

You are right about those old AOL and Yahoo chat rooms too. It was a bonanza for getting laid. I wasn't quite as active as you but I'd guess I met 25 women off there for sex. We're a couple of old dudes pining about the good ole days! LOL.

[QUOTE=TMeister; 1893947]I think your life story is probably the norm for married guys rather than the exception. I believe 95% plus of marriages become sexless and dull after a certain period of time. I guess there is validity is sticking around to help raise kids. That is a worthy endeavor in our society despite a sexless (and loveless?) marriage. Kids need a Mom and Dad around.

That being said, I'm glad I never got married. I realized when I first started FAP'ing at age 15 that I get bored too easily with one girl, and so I've never really had a relationship last longer than a few months. There's too much pussy out there in the world I need to sample and enjoy, so that explains my eternal bachelorhood. I admit I feel sometimes like I'm missing out on the stable home life with little kiddies running around, but I got nieces and nephews I can visit so that sorta fills the void. Given the outrageous costs of raising kids and college tuition these days, having kids makes no sense for me unless I win $100 million in the Powerball and even then I'd give it a lot of thought before taking the plunge.

So I try to make do with what I have. Which is a few spare duckets to enjoy the mongering hobby and maybe even hook up with a real date using the popular meeting sites. I tend to get enough action to satisfy my loins at age 43. Luckily I don't have the raging hormones making me think about poontang 27 hrs. A day like I was in my 20's and 30's. LOL. I'm starting to think more often with the big head these days so that means I avoid a lot of poo-poo that you married guys have to deal with.

As a side note. Did anyone in here ever meet women off the AOL chat rooms when they were popular in the 90's? Fuck man, I met a LOT of girls from there during my 20's and I got to say my sex life was pretty active from it. I'd say between 1996 and 2000 I probably met close to 50 girls from AOL chat rooms and banged at least 40 of them (or just BBBJ). I really miss those damn chat rooms! I tried the Facebook chats but they seem boring as fuck compared to those awesome AOL chats. Anybody else have fun with them?

Cheers![/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=TerryTT;1894205]You are right about those old AOL and Yahoo chat rooms too. It was a bonanza for getting laid. I wasn't quite as active as you but I'd guess I met 25 women off there for sex. We're a couple of old dudes pining about the good ole days! LOL.[/QUOTE]Those AOL chat rooms were custom designed for getting pussy. You could do a search filter and find all women that were currently online within a certain number of miles from your ZIP code. I lived in a small town halfway between Cleveland and Pittsburgh but I still managed to find plenty of horny gals in both those cities plus a good amount in the smaller towns. My dick was gettin' overtime action in those days! Nothin' better than chatting with a 19 year old girl online and things are getting hot and she IMs you back with "Want to hook up tonight?"

I dabbled in the Yahoo chat rooms around 2004 or so but they werent yielding the bountiful poon like I got from the AOL boards.

Bring those damn AOL chat rooms back!

Hey a fellas,

I could have swore I posted a HUGE thank you to everyone that came and wished me a happy birthday and all of the thoughtful pm's.

I feel so much love from so many people. I had the greatest birthday week EVER! I actually got a whole week to celebrate.

Thanks :*

Sasha Black

There were a few arrests a few days ago for procuring, loitering and soliciting. All in the 5600 block of Montgomery Road in Pleasant Ridge.

I'm assuming those are not SW unless that's a new zone I'm unaware of.

Is there a business there of some sort? I used to live not far from there and I hate to think I missed out on some fun.