General Reports

Married Guys have to Tread very Lightly in this Hobby. Wives some how have a Sense if their Husbands are having a little outside "Playtime." If you're Single and in this Hobby it's Great. Playtime is no problem. I Love being Single. No Sneaking around or lying to the S / O to get away for Playtime. I would never want to Trade my Single Life for getting Married. Thanks to you Married Guys, I learned that Marriage is Bad. Recently my Nephew got a Divorce cause his Wife suspected he was playing around. 18 years down the Drain.

[QUOTE=Ron M;1891856]Married Guys have to Tread very Lightly in this Hobby. Wives some how have a Sense if their Husbands are having a little outside "Playtime." If you're Single and in this Hobby it's Great. Playtime is no problem. I Love being Single. No Sneaking around or lying to the S / O to get away for Playtime. I would never want to Trade my Single Life for getting Married. Thanks to you Married Guys, I learned that Marriage is Bad. Recently my Nephew got a Divorce cause his Wife suspected he was playing around. 18 years down the Drain.[/QUOTE]Treading lightly is a good thing and sometimes not.

For a few guys the wife or SO finding out is a good thing because they suddenly become very determined to make sure that you get taken care of at home.

Others find out that the wife or SO has a bit of hidden kink and suddenly get asked "can I join in? Or do you know any that like girls?"

Of course there are always a few wives and SOs that go completely ape shyte and either want you dead or they try to track down every lady you've met.

And then there are those that have a "hunting" license like myself which basically says play to your hearts content within certain guide lines.

And then there's a friend of mine who is one lucky b@stard. He comes home and the wife has his cell bill on the table, accuses him of having an affair since he calls this number all the time and she doesn't recognize the woman's voice from her voice mail greeting. After an hour of fighting he tells her to call the number and to her surprise the phone in her purse starts vibrating. She didn't know her own cell number, the voice on the voice mail was the girl at the phone store that helped her with her iPhone and setup her voice mail. The end result of it all was that he could do no wrong for the next six months, the wife suddenly had a new menu along with plenty of availability every week AND he got to hobby to his hearts content.

That is incredibly funny. Little secret I never knew that was shared with me. When men have climaxed it takes a bit to "recharge". A wise woman can check your sack to know if it is ready or not. Be careful if she reaches there to confirm!

[QUOTE=WarlockKy; 1892121]Treading lightly is a good thing and sometimes not.

For a few guys the wife or SO finding out is a good thing because they suddenly become very determined to make sure that you get taken care of at home.

Others find out that the wife or SO has a bit of hidden kink and suddenly get asked "can I join in? Or do you know any that like girls?"

Of course there are always a few wives and SOs that go completely ape shyte and either want you dead or they try to track down every lady you've met.

And then there are those that have a "hunting" license like myself which basically says play to your hearts content within certain guide lines.

And then there's a friend of mine who is one lucky b@stard. He comes home and the wife has his cell bill on the table, accuses him of having an affair since he calls this number all the time and she doesn't recognize the woman's voice from her voice mail greeting. After an hour of fighting he tells her to call the number and to her surprise the phone in her purse starts vibrating. She didn't know her own cell number, the voice on the voice mail was the girl at the phone store that helped her with her iPhone and setup her voice mail. The end result of it all was that he could do no wrong for the next six months, the wife suddenly had a new menu along with plenty of availability every week AND he got to hobby to his hearts content.[/QUOTE]

When I was first married I always wondered why so many guys spent lots of their leisure hours playing golf and attending baseball games etc. Not too many years later I found out that most of the sex I was having was the same way I had BEFORE I was married:. By myself in the bathroom. That is when I saw the wisdom of the "all male hobby":. Get tickets to the game, spend the first 3 innings in the ball park, then a lovely one- hour "vacation" with select lady, then watch the last of the game from a sports bar happy and relaxed. My only mistake at first was to attend football games. Wifey decided she was a fan and invited herself along. That was the end of watching football at the stadium. If she ever decides she likes baseball, well, then that will go away and the next sport is golf.

Tb

[QUOTE=SashaBlack; 1890054]Looks like we're both Libra's.

Happy Birthday[/QUOTE]From another libra. Hopefully you both have a great week and LOTS of fun.

FF25

[QUOTE=TimBob; 1892601]When I was first married I always wondered why so many guys spent lots of their leisure hours playing golf and attending baseball games etc. Not too many years later I found out that most of the sex I was having was the same way I had BEFORE I was married:. By myself in the bathroom. That is when I saw the wisdom of the "all male hobby":. Get tickets to the game, spend the first 3 innings in the ball park, then a lovely one- hour "vacation" with select lady, then watch the last of the game from a sports bar happy and relaxed. My only mistake at first was to attend football games. Wifey decided she was a fan and invited herself along. That was the end of watching football at the stadium. If she ever decides she likes baseball, well, then that will go away and the next sport is golf.

Tb[/QUOTE]If your Wife attends all the Sporting Events you like to go to, your Hobbying is Finished. LOL. I've Never been Married. No need to have Sex in the Bathroom alone. I just call my Provider to join me.

I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, *********, Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.

[QUOTE=TimBob; 1892601]That is when I saw the wisdom of the "all male hobby":. Get tickets to the game, spend the first 3 innings in the ball park, then a lovely one- hour "vacation" with select lady, then watch the last of the game from a sports bar happy and relaxed.

Tb[/QUOTE]I never thought of that. I am going to give it a try.

Unaccounted for time is my main problem. The second problem is coming home with a different smell. Never been caught, but a couple of close calls.

[QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy; 1892729]I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, , Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.[/QUOTE]All Married Guys get caught eventually. Maybe not right away, but eventually. I've Never been or Ever will get Married. I'm Single and I can go out Hobbying anytime I want. It's too much Fun being Single. You Married Guys better be Careful.

I want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday, came and spent some special time with me for my birthday. I had a fabulous week and will never forget how sweet all of you are to me.

Again thanks,

Sasha :*. :*

[QUOTE=Ron M;1892821]All Married Guys get caught eventually. Maybe not right away, but eventually. I've Never been or Ever will get Married. I'm Single and I can go out Hobbying anytime I want. It's too much Fun being Single. You Married Guys better be Careful.[/QUOTE]Just kidding!

[QUOTE=Sinful Dreams; 1891573]Club 440 is okay but I think there are better people at Sinday. It's in Middletown, a pretty nice club overall. You have your times when it's hit or miss, but if you go during a themed night then you are guaranteed to have some fun. There are cabanas in the back, and most of the people are exhibitionists so you get to see the action, and sometimes it's pretty damn hot seeing who it is.

I have been in the lifestyle for 12 years off and on, so if you have more questions feel free to pm me.[/QUOTE]I've been to both Sinday and 440 very recently. Sinday has a LOT more quality people there and is much more upscale so I highly recommend it. 440 is okay but the proportion of really hot women there is very low. There might be 1-3 hot girls there on a Saturday night out of 60 whereas there might be 15 out of 40 at Sinday.

[QUOTE=CooperCincy;1892982]I've been to both Sinday and 440 very recently. Sinday has a LOT more quality people there and is much more upscale so I highly recommend it. 440 is okay but the proportion of really hot women there is very low. There might be 1-3 hot girls there on a Saturday night out of 60 whereas there might be 15 out of 40 at Sinday.[/QUOTE]Disclaimer: I have never been to one. What I have consistently heard, though, is that it's typically 10 or 12 guys waiting in line to hit it with an obese woman. From what I hear, most also don't allow single men (which makes sense, from their perspective, I guess.)

It seems that the swinging lifestyle would pay off best if you had a hot significant other who was also into the lifestyle. Then you could meet attractive couples and bi women on the Internet. But how many of us are so fortunate?

A swing club is a engaging fantasy, but I think that for most of us, the hobby is a much more certain route to satisfaction.

Thank you for sharing. I copied and forwarded this to one of my married friends who just started hobbying. I was the one who introduced him to the hobby. (For years it was just me telling him about my adventures; but then his married sex life went south.)

I still feel a bit guilty for inadvertently inducting him, as he has two young children (ages 13 and 7).

On a related note, I would be curious to see a breakdown of what percentage of us are single vs. Married.

[QUOTE=MrNiceGuyCincy; 1892729]I had been mongering for 10 or 12 years. I started back in the days where the only way to find a provider was to look in the adult section in Citybeat. Then came the internet and, after a while, hobbying became much more efficient. I typically used sites like another site, , Eros-Ohio and Escort. Com to find providers. I used Backpage now and then too, and, of course, USASG. In fact, you can see my old posts on this site as a former senior member under my old screen name, naam456, which is no longer active.

My hobbying addiction became stronger and I started diverting some of my paycheck into a secret checking account that my wife knew nothing about. I told her my employer cut everyone's pay. I got a debit card to access that account and, over the course of several years, I was eventually able to divert enough money to see a provider once or twice a week. I had a couple of regulars that I saw at least once a month each, and then played the field the rest of the time. It was awesome!

Then one day my wife found the debit card. I tried all kinds of ways to cover everything, but she eventually figured out how to access it online and saw all the money I had been diverting from my paycheck and all the cash withdrawals. She also saw where I used the debit card to pay for memberships on another site and Escort. Com. She saw charges for hotels from when I decided to get a room to see a provider that only did outcall. She looked through all of that and eventually put two and two together and confronted me.

That was February of 2011. Since then, my life has been hell on earth. I was forced into seeing two counselors weekly. One with my wife to save the marriage and the other for sexual addiction counseling for me. That lasted almost two years. I can't tell you the number of nights she had me up half the night talking about what happened, digging for details, trying to explain the unexplainable. I remember the countless arguments, so frequent that it wasn't long before my teenage kids figured out what happened. She even tried to get me to take her to a couple of the places where I saw providers (I didn't and never will). It's not that I wasn't getting enough sex at home, it's just that I was not sexually interested in her anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, for several reasons, which led to the mongering. But I could never tell her this as it would crush her even more than the discovery of the mongering did.

So today, over 2 & 1/2+ years later, we generally get along. We still have at least a couple of discussions a month about what happened and it still comes up in conversation almost daily. We have a decent sex life, but I'm basically only doing it because if I don't, she will assume I'm mongering again and tighten the noose even more.

But the life I live is not a happy one. She has essentially cut me off from the few friends I had. I basically can't go out and do anything except go to work, unless I'm going to be with her or one of the kids. She tracks me everywhere I go with GPS. She reads all my emails and texts. She inspects the phone bill and investigates any call or text to / from a number she doesn't recognize. She monitors all my internet traffic at home and on my smart phone. If it takes me 10 minutes longer than she thinks it should to go to the grocery store, I get grilled with questions when I get home. She tracks every dollar of cash that I get to spend and reviews all of my pay stubs from work. She looks at the bank accounts online almost every day. She calls me at work regularly to make sure I'm really there because she knows I can't forward phone calls from my work phone. If we go out for dinner or whatever, I get slammed every time I turn my head if there happens to be another woman in my line of sight. I'm not allowed to be friendly to other women either. No friendly chit-chat with a waitress at a restaurant, just all business. If the waitress is friendly with me, I have to ignore it. Any time I have a meeting at work where women will be attending, I have to give her a full account of who was there and how long the meeting lasted. The list goes on.

By now you're probably wondering why the hell I'm still married to her. Good question. The thing is, we can't afford to maintain two households and still provide all the things we want for our kids. They go to private schools because we live in a crappy school district. We pay almost $20, 000 a year in high school tuition. I tried to leave a couple of times, but the kids were just devastated, so I stayed. We both love our house and the neighborhood, so it would be a big deal for either of us to leave. Basically, I am trapped in this situation for probably another 5 or 6 years until enough tuition is behind us and enough bills are paid that I can afford to leave and not have to live on chicken soup. The kids will be adults by then and, hopefully, better able to handle mom and dad separating. I hate lying to her and acting as if I still want to be with her, but I don't feel like I have any other option right now. If I'm honest with her and do the right thing, the kids' lives will be badly impacted. I just have to wait it out.

Believe it or not, I still monger a little bit now and then. I scrape cash together from my lunch money and a dollar here and a dollar there and I have enough cash to see a provider maybe once every few months for a 30 minute session. I even manage a car date with a SW here and there, but that's about it. I hate it!

So, anyway, that's my sob story. One that is entirely my fault, but one that impacts the lives of those in my family as well. I have no one to blame but myself and sometimes I think maybe deep down I'm really not afraid to get caught again. Because this time, it would certainly end in divorce and I don't think I will be truly happy again until that day comes.

Morale of the story? If you're married and have to keep your mongering hidden from your wife, cover all your tracks, and then cover them again. If you have kids, don't monger at all until they're grown and gone. Don't make the careless mistakes I did that allowed me to get caught. Because if you do, you could end up in a situation similar to mine and, trust me, you would be better off quitting the hobby than letting that happen.

Play safe.[/QUOTE]

I can sympathize with you MrNiceGuyCincy I'm divorced over something very similar. She got everything and still has a lot of my stuff and won't give it back. I get called names and ignored once I bring up my belongings. Good luck to you.