Massage Parlor Reports

I have no gems.

[QUOTE=HeadFirst;2753845]I asked her if she was looking for any more customers. (always keeping an eye out for my friends). She told me no, she's fine. She's only known me for 30 minutes so I understand that. She also said she's not licensed and she doesn't want a lot of undue attention which could raise some flags. I understand that. She's got bills each month too, the same as we all do. I understand that. She asked me not to talk about her on the internet. I Promised Her I Wouldn't. At least not in specifics (as in name and place). Comprenday?

I found a gem so I'm not interested in sharing with a bunch of strangers. As in at any time there are 3-4 X more guests/lurkers reading our posts than there are actual members reading them. It's standard operating procedure, if a trustworthy senior is interested in more info, we all know usually all that needs to be done is a pm sent. I've already responded to many requests.

Further, this post started out in response to LookingForLefty's, (who by the way belongs in the USA Sex Guides Poster HOF) claim that Leah gave the best hj in Chicago. It wasn't really a post to post about a session I had.

Hbu? Got any of your own current personal gems? Pm if you don't wanna share with the whole world but you're willing to share with a trustworthy senior. Make sense?[/QUOTE]

I can just see it now, Monger's from all over northern Illinois out AMP hunting for the elusive blonde Chinese girl. This could become some kind of contest. The first Monger to find her and post about it, win's a free lunch buffet at the Chinese restaurant of their choosing. LOL. SaintChuck.

Over the summer I had 4 or 5 session's at the AD Spa in Carol Stream, and they were ok. The girl's were decent looking, friendly and there was never a tipping issue. In September they rotated the girl's, and the new crew was older, not good looking and there were big time tipping issues, so I quit going there. I was in the area today so I decided to stop in. I was greeted by a very short woman who was not bad looking and a little thick, she appeared to be around 30. After a few minutes of her attempt at a massage I flipped over and the negotiation's began. She pulled her dress down so that I could suck on her breast's, this must have really turned her on because she turned into a wild animal. I thought she was leaning in to give me a kiss, but that wasn't the case, she started biting my ear and growling. I told her to stop because it hurt and I am not into that stuff. Then she started playing with my nipples, and that was fine with me. Then out of nowhere she leans down and bites my nipple hard. I told her to stop that biting stuff. She started to give me a HJ, but I couldn't pop, and I have to leave out why I couldn't pop. It was taking forever and I could tell she was getting tired, and here is where it get's weird. She crawls up on the table and sit's Indian style and put's my leg's over her shoulder's and resumes the HJ. Then out of nowhere, BOOM, she jams a finger up my butt, and I let out a grunt as all of the air leaves my lungs. It really hurt, but I couldn't complain because I couldn't breathe. After a minute or so I finally pop and she takes her finger out of my butt. She goes and get's a hot towel and cleans me up. I am laying there looking at the ceiling thinking of of how I was just violated. I could hear her pumping away at one of the bottle's, and she come's over and start's putting this really cold jelly on my privates, and it felt kind of nice. Then all of a sudden I start feeling a tingling sensation down there and about 30 seconds later it feel's like my genitals are on fire, just burning up. I jump off the table like a cat trying to avoid a bath tub. I tell her I need a hot towel and quick. She comes back with a hot towel and I quickly clean myself off. I asked her what in the hell she put on me. She pointed to a large clear bottle, so I picked it up to see what it was. It was an alcohol based citrus hand sanitizer. I tried to explain to her that this stuff is for hands only, not for private part's. She just looked at me and said "OHHH". I don't think she understood. The last few minutes of the session I just laid there and she was petting me like a dog. The walk to my vehicle was the definition of a walk off shame, I had a butt full of lube and my butt was sore and to top thing's off my genitals were still burning a bit. Probably not my best day. SaintChuck.

SaintChuck:

This has happened to me too. They ram their finger up there at an attempt at a prostate massage. I had to tell the girl to stop because it was uncomfortable.

I was at another place where the lady squirted something cold on my junk. Turned out it was diluted hand sanitizer so it was just cold. No harm done.

The bottles do say for use with hands only.

[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2757374]Over the summer I had 4 or 5 session's at the AD Spa in Carol Stream, and they were ok. The girl's were decent looking, friendly and there was never a tipping issue. In September they rotated the girl's, and the new crew was older, not good looking and there were big time tipping issues, so I quit going there. I was in the area today so I decided to stop in. I was greeted by a very short woman who was not bad looking and a little thick, she appeared to be around 30. After a few minutes of her attempt at a massage I flipped over and the negotiation's began. She pulled her dress down so that I could suck on her breast's, this must have really turned her on because she turned into a wild animal. I thought she was leaning in to give me a kiss, but that wasn't the case, she started biting my ear and growling. I told her to stop because it hurt and I am not into that stuff. Then she started playing with my nipples, and that was fine with me. Then out of nowhere she leans down and bites my nipple hard. I told her to stop that biting stuff. She started to give me a HJ, but I couldn't pop, and I have to leave out why I couldn't pop. It was taking forever and I could tell she was getting tired, and here is where it get's weird. She crawls up on the table and sit's Indian style and put's my leg's over her shoulder's and resumes the HJ. Then out of nowhere, BOOM, she jams a finger up my butt, and I let out a grunt as all of the air leaves my lungs. It really hurt, but I couldn't complain because I couldn't breathe. After a minute or so I finally pop and she takes her finger out of my butt. She goes and get's a hot towel and cleans me up. I am laying there looking at the ceiling thinking of of how I was just violated. I could hear her pumping away at one of the bottle's, and she come's over and start's putting this really cold jelly on my privates, and it felt kind of nice. Then all of a sudden I start feeling a tingling sensation down there and about 30 seconds later it feel's like my genitals are on fire, just burning up. I jump off the table like a cat trying to avoid a bath tub. I tell her I need a hot towel and quick. She comes back with a hot towel and I quickly clean myself off. I asked her what in the hell she put on me. She pointed to a large clear bottle, so I picked it up to see what it was. It was an alcohol based citrus hand sanitizer. I tried to explain to her that this stuff is for hands only, not for private part's. She just looked at me and said "OHHH". I don't think she understood. The last few minutes of the session I just laid there and she was petting me like a dog. The walk to my vehicle was the definition of a walk off shame, I had a butt full of lube and my butt was sore and to top thing's off my genitals were still burning a bit. Probably not my best day. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]

RAPE! ROFL!

Sorry to laugh SC but you were violated. Of course some here might be into that. If you are then she's your rare gem.

BTW I have a few gems. Effort was minimum and the payoff well worth it. Sometimes even just a smile goes a long way.

[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2757374]Over the summer I had 4 or 5 session's at the AD Spa in Carol Stream, and they were ok. The girl's were decent looking, friendly and there was never a tipping issue. In September they rotated the girl's, and the new crew was older, not good looking and there were big time tipping issues, so I quit going there. I was in the area today so I decided to stop in. I was greeted by a very short woman who was not bad looking and a little thick, she appeared to be around 30. After a few minutes of her attempt at a massage I flipped over and the negotiation's began. She pulled her dress down so that I could suck on her breast's, this must have really turned her on because she turned into a wild animal. I thought she was leaning in to give me a kiss, but that wasn't the case, she started biting my ear and growling. I told her to stop because it hurt and I am not into that stuff. Then she started playing with my nipples, and that was fine with me. Then out of nowhere she leans down and bites my nipple hard. I told her to stop that biting stuff. She started to give me a HJ, but I couldn't pop, and I have to leave out why I couldn't pop. It was taking forever and I could tell she was getting tired, and here is where it get's weird. She crawls up on the table and sit's Indian style and put's my leg's over her shoulder's and resumes the HJ. Then out of nowhere, BOOM, she jams a finger up my butt, and I let out a grunt as all of the air leaves my lungs. It really hurt, but I couldn't complain because I couldn't breathe. After a minute or so I finally pop and she takes her finger out of my butt. She goes and get's a hot towel and cleans me up. I am laying there looking at the ceiling thinking of of how I was just violated. I could hear her pumping away at one of the bottle's, and she come's over and start's putting this really cold jelly on my privates, and it felt kind of nice. Then all of a sudden I start feeling a tingling sensation down there and about 30 seconds later it feel's like my genitals are on fire, just burning up. I jump off the table like a cat trying to avoid a bath tub. I tell her I need a hot towel and quick. She comes back with a hot towel and I quickly clean myself off. I asked her what in the hell she put on me. She pointed to a large clear bottle, so I picked it up to see what it was. It was an alcohol based citrus hand sanitizer. I tried to explain to her that this stuff is for hands only, not for private part's. She just looked at me and said "OHHH". I don't think she understood. The last few minutes of the session I just laid there and she was petting me like a dog. The walk to my vehicle was the definition of a walk off shame, I had a butt full of lube and my butt was sore and to top thing's off my genitals were still burning a bit. Probably not my best day. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]

LMFAO nothing starts a good Friday like a good laugh. Thanks for the info Chuck.

God, I love your posts! SC.

On 3 different occasions I've had each of the 3 "violations". For reasons I don't understand, some Chinese women like to bite. All three girlfriends sometimes bite me without warning. And they laugh as I try to escape. Even the legit woman who is quite reserved, lost control and in a moment of passion, bit me the other day. Today, she and I had a 3 hour session today, including 90 minute massage and ED acupressure treatment and 90 minutes of kissing in a tantra position. (Same girl I took to the Art museum on Monday).

Another time I accidentally, stupidly, put Purell on my junk. Great Balls 'O Fire. Lesson learned.

Finally, I had a session a couple weeks ago with another regular. Wasn't getting anywhere, finish-wise. So she asked "Can I put a finger up your butt?" I consented. She got surgical gloves and did her best rendition of a prostate massage. It worked, but I'm not sure I would repeat. Bob.

[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2757374]Over the summer I had 4 or 5 session's at the AD Spa in Carol Stream, and they were ok. The girl's were decent looking, friendly and there was never a tipping issue. In September they rotated the girl's, and the new crew was older, not good looking and there were big time tipping issues, so I quit going there. I was in the area today so I decided to stop in. I was greeted by a very short woman who was not bad looking and a little thick, she appeared to be around 30. After a few minutes of her attempt at a massage I flipped over and the negotiation's began. She pulled her dress down so that I could suck on her breast's, this must have really turned her on because she turned into a wild animal. I thought she was leaning in to give me a kiss, but that wasn't the case, she started biting my ear and growling. I told her to stop because it hurt and I am not into that stuff. Then she started playing with my nipples, and that was fine with me. Then out of nowhere she leans down and bites my nipple hard. I told her to stop that biting stuff. She started to give me a HJ, but I couldn't pop, and I have to leave out why I couldn't pop. It was taking forever and I could tell she was getting tired, and here is where it get's weird. She crawls up on the table and sit's Indian style and put's my leg's over her shoulder's and resumes the HJ. Then out of nowhere, BOOM, she jams a finger up my butt, and I let out a grunt as all of the air leaves my lungs. It really hurt, but I couldn't complain because I couldn't breathe. After a minute or so I finally pop and she takes her finger out of my butt. She goes and get's a hot towel and cleans me up. I am laying there looking at the ceiling thinking of of how I was just violated. I could hear her pumping away at one of the bottle's, and she come's over and start's putting this really cold jelly on my privates, and it felt kind of nice. Then all of a sudden I start feeling a tingling sensation down there and about 30 seconds later it feel's like my genitals are on fire, just burning up. I jump off the table like a cat trying to avoid a bath tub. I tell her I need a hot towel and quick. She comes back with a hot towel and I quickly clean myself off. I asked her what in the hell she put on me. She pointed to a large clear bottle, so I picked it up to see what it was. It was an alcohol based citrus hand sanitizer. I tried to explain to her that this stuff is for hands only, not for private part's. She just looked at me and said "OHHH". I don't think she understood. The last few minutes of the session I just laid there and she was petting me like a dog. The walk to my vehicle was the definition of a walk off shame, I had a butt full of lube and my butt was sore and to top thing's off my genitals were still burning a bit. Probably not my best day. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2757374]Over the summer I had 4 or 5 session's at the AD Spa in Carol Stream, and they were ok. The girl's were decent looking, friendly and there was never a tipping issue. In September they rotated the girl's, and the new crew was older, not good looking and there were big time tipping issues, so I quit going there. I was in the area today so I decided to stop in. I was greeted by a very short woman who was not bad looking and a little thick, she appeared to be around 30. After a few minutes of her attempt at a massage I flipped over and the negotiation's began. She pulled her dress down so that I could suck on her breast's, this must have really turned her on because she turned into a wild animal. I thought she was leaning in to give me a kiss, but that wasn't the case, she started biting my ear and growling. I told her to stop because it hurt and I am not into that stuff. Then she started playing with my nipples, and that was fine with me. Then out of nowhere she leans down and bites my nipple hard. I told her to stop that biting stuff. She started to give me a HJ, but I couldn't pop, and I have to leave out why I couldn't pop. It was taking forever and I could tell she was getting tired, and here is where it get's weird. She crawls up on the table and sit's Indian style and put's my leg's over her shoulder's and resumes the HJ. Then out of nowhere, BOOM, she jams a finger up my butt, and I let out a grunt as all of the air leaves my lungs. It really hurt, but I couldn't complain because I couldn't breathe. After a minute or so I finally pop and she takes her finger out of my butt. She goes and get's a hot towel and cleans me up. I am laying there looking at the ceiling thinking of of how I was just violated. I could hear her pumping away at one of the bottle's, and she come's over and start's putting this really cold jelly on my privates, and it felt kind of nice. Then all of a sudden I start feeling a tingling sensation down there and about 30 seconds later it feel's like my genitals are on fire, just burning up. I jump off the table like a cat trying to avoid a bath tub. I tell her I need a hot towel and quick. She comes back with a hot towel and I quickly clean myself off. I asked her what in the hell she put on me. She pointed to a large clear bottle, so I picked it up to see what it was. It was an alcohol based citrus hand sanitizer. I tried to explain to her that this stuff is for hands only, not for private part's. She just looked at me and said "OHHH". I don't think she understood. The last few minutes of the session I just laid there and she was petting me like a dog. The walk to my vehicle was the definition of a walk off shame, I had a butt full of lube and my butt was sore and to top thing's off my genitals were still burning a bit. Probably not my best day. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]Dr. Evil's crew is relentless with their torture. They must be stopped. Such is the life of a secret agent haha! Hang in there Saint Chuck. It could have been worse- at least she didn't have smelly feet.

Kellster, I would like to know how it could have been worse. I was bitten, I had an MX missile launched up my butt, and for good measure she tried to burn my genital's off. I can't think of much else that could have gone wrong. SaintChuck.

It was like 20 years ago that I stopped at a Carol Stream AMP right off of Army Trail. The therapist was probably pushing 50, but did a really nice massage. She starts the HJ and I ask her what the rubber gloves on the table were for. "Some guys ask for funny thing" she says. Now I'd read about the male G-spot thing. So I ask if I can try. Without another word she grabbed a glove, put it on and stuck a finger in a jar of Vaseline and in she goes. She knew just what to do, slow in and out with a curl of the finger in between, all the time slowly stroking my rod with the free hand. And she took her time and made it last. I went back 3 times I think, then she got busted and the place closed. Since then I'll occasionally ask an MT for one, but it's never really good. Either they won't go deep, or I'm on the receiving end of what we used to call German porn. And of course they want an extra tip for that. I wouldn't mind it it was any good. But if I walk out of there feeling like Jodie Foster in The Accused, I won't be back. My old arse can't take that abuse.

[QUOTE=DMichaels69;2757666]SaintChuck:

This has happened to me too. They ram their finger up there at an attempt at a prostate massage. I had to tell the girl to stop because it was uncomfortable.

I was at another place where the lady squirted something cold on my junk. Turned out it was diluted hand sanitizer so it was just cold. No harm done.

The bottles do say for use with hands only.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2758598]Kellster, I would like to know how it could have been worse. I was bitten, I had an MX missile launched up my butt, and for good measure she tried to burn my genital's off. I can't think of much else that could have gone wrong. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]She could have farted in your face.

-w.

[QUOTE=SaintChuck;2758598]Kellster, I would like to know how it could have been worse. I was bitten, I had an MX missile launched up my butt, and for good measure she tried to burn my genital's off. I can't think of much else that could have gone wrong. SaintChuck.[/QUOTE]It could have been worse if I was the one she did that too haha! Just kidding! Hang in there Saint Chuck.

The last time a lady tried this I told her to stop as she was pushing too hard and I would have dropped a deuce.

[QUOTE=SamSpade;2758650]It was like 20 years ago that I stopped at a Carol Stream AMP right off of Army Trail. The therapist was probably pushing 50, but did a really nice massage. She starts the HJ and I ask her what the rubber gloves on the table were for. "Some guys ask for funny thing" she says. Now I'd read about the male G-spot thing. So I ask if I can try. Without another word she grabbed a glove, put it on and stuck a finger in a jar of Vaseline and in she goes. She knew just what to do, slow in and out with a curl of the finger in between, all the time slowly stroking my rod with the free hand. And she took her time and made it last. I went back 3 times I think, then she got busted and the place closed. Since then I'll occasionally ask an MT for one, but it's never really good. Either they won't go deep, or I'm on the receiving end of what we used to call German porn. And of course they want an extra tip for that. I wouldn't mind it it was any good. But if I walk out of there feeling like Jodie Foster in The Accused, I won't be back. My old arse can't take that abuse.[/QUOTE]

I was starting to type this review and realize I sound like an old Neil Young song. You pay for this but they give you that.

A few days ago I try JJ Massage. Got a middle aged MT, maybe 45. I asked her name and after much difficult translation it comes out as Ye Ye. OK fine. So the massage was pretty good, a little teasing at the end. I tease back. On the flip things seem to be going good. I ask if she'll do a BJ and she give me a non-committal smile, and more teasing. But she then asks, in sign language, how much. I show 8, and she goes to more teasing, and I ask if that is OK, and she does more teasing. Getting frustrated, I just let her give the HJ, with the top pulled up but no snuggling of the fun bags is offered or accepted. All done, a clean up and a little more massage and I'm getting ready to go. I lay. 6 on the table, thinking I'm being generous for what I'd received. She calls my name and says 8. I say no, that was for the BJ, which she did not do. She says 8, and puts her arms around me for a big hug. Isn't that nice? And she says 8. I say goodbye.

Ye Ye's English went from bad to worse to pretty good, all depending on the subject at hand. Not going back. Still looking for a gem in the Schaumburg area.

[QUOTE=SamSpade;2767663]I was starting to type this review and realize I sound like an old Neil Young song. You pay for this but they give you that.

A few days ago I try JJ Massage. Got a middle aged MT, maybe 45. I asked her name and after much difficult translation it comes out as Ye Ye. OK fine. So the massage was pretty good, a little teasing at the end. I tease back. On the flip things seem to be going good. I ask if she'll do a BJ and she give me a non-committal smile, and more teasing. But she then asks, in sign language, how much. I show 8, and she goes to more teasing, and I ask if that is OK, and she does more teasing. Getting frustrated, I just let her give the HJ, with the top pulled up but no snuggling of the fun bags is offered or accepted. All done, a clean up and a little more massage and I'm getting ready to go. I lay. 6 on the table, thinking I'm being generous for what I'd received. She calls my name and says 8. I say no, that was for the BJ, which she did not do. She says 8, and puts her arms around me for a big hug. Isn't that nice? And she says 8. I say goodbye.

Ye Ye's English went from bad to worse to pretty good, all depending on the subject at hand. Not going back. Still looking for a gem in the Schaumburg area.[/QUOTE]You should feel lucky that anything happened at this place. This was the first place I ever got denied extra's. I have never heard of anyone getting anything from this place. On RM's it is reported as non-erotic and all of the reviews are from mongers who left unhappy. If you were lucky enough to get a HJ there, you can chalk that up as a victory. SaintChuck.