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LM63,
Yours sounds like a successful pattern. You do not appear to be a married gentleman, which is a big advantage in this business. It is interesting to learn how the sb / sd relationship can work when the security risks are reduced. Very much like a regular GF.
Thou shalt not write anything down in such a manner that your SO can find it.
Thou shalt not save any unused condoms for "the next time". Condoms are cheap, divorce is not.
Thou shalt keep a "clean" car, with all identifying papers locked away in a location of thy choosing.
I like Lit's admonition to empty pockets. I have done this many, many times when meeting babies in the FC for the first or second time, or even at the first M&G. Not that I think the baby would pin me down and empty my pockets, but the procedure puts me in the correct mind set. I would add a corollary: When on the road, thou shalt conceal all identifying materials in the room safe, or under thy bed, especially when thy baby is spending the night.
Whenever I am faced with an issue regarding secrecy or security, this is what I think:
Ask thyself, what would Jason Bourne do?
More?
Scott
LM,
I really appreciated your Q&A and read it a couple of times. I too am in a pretty good situation with a SB that is on retainer. And I wonder about a couple of things.
Have any of your LT SB's ever hit you up for extra cash?
Ever had a long term baby that was cash strapped and hurting, not a Nando 1 just someone who is going through a hard time?
If so how do you handle it?
So far this has not happened but I want to be prepared in case. Do you refuse, or just give it to them, or ignore them?
How about the reverse. Have they ever tried to skimp on service after getting their retainer?
Once again this has not happened to me yet. Mine has been very good about it. She even made herself available when she was on her period and sick to boot. Told me it was my decision. I took that as a high quality woman right there. So we just ended up hanging out in the FC, laying in bed and talking. It was pretty good.
You mentioned gifts, how about birthdays? Just give them cash?
Do you have any tips for heading any of these issues or other potential issues off as opposed to responding after the fact?
I want to learn from your deep experiences. I did not even know that this world existed before January.
But I am liking it right now.
(guilty) Thou shalt not pursue those desperate enough to threaten you.
(always do this as much as possible) Thou shalt not meet a potential SB without doing your upfront research on her. Facebook, twitter, email, tin eye, google image search. Anything you can use to confirm she is who she says.
(I have a phone just for the girls) Thou shalt not use a personal or corporate cell phone. Get a throwaway phone or Google Voice.
(I always use a disposable email address) Thou shalt not use your personal email address. Create an email address used strictly for SB's. I recommend Gmail or Hushmail as they make it harder to trace your IP address. Not foolproof at all, but beyond the capability of most SB's.
(guilty) Thou shalt not use your home or business for meetings.
(not guilty) Thou shalt not provide sugar before meeting.
(not guilty) Thou shalt not leave your wallet unattended with a SB.
(there are some grey areas here)(just booted one after 4 chances to make good, she wanted a fifth chance. LOL) Thou shalt not continue a relationship with a SB who does not live up to her end of the arrangement.
(guilty) Thou shalt not go raw.
(happened once, huge mistake) Thou shalt not fall in love.
[QUOTE=Revvo; 1731355]LM,
Have any of your LT SB's ever hit you up for extra cash?
Ever had a long term baby that was cash strapped and hurting, not a Nando 1 just someone who is going through a hard time?
If so how do you handle it?
Do you refuse, or just give it to them, or ignore them?
How about the reverse. Have they ever tried to skimp on service after getting their retainer?
Once again this has not happened to me yet. Mine has been very good about it. She even made herself available when she was on her period and sick to boot. Told me it was my decision. I took that as a high quality woman right there. So we just ended up hanging out in the FC, laying in bed and talking. It was pretty good.
You mentioned gifts, how about birthdays? Just give them cash?
Do you have any tips for heading any of these issues or other potential issues off as opposed to responding after the fact?[/QUOTE]1) cash strapped & asking.
This is a sticky wicket. It all depends on how long you have known her, care for her, can afford, and trust her. If you pony up then you should consider the $$ a gift because you are not likely to see it again. At the very least use it as an advance for future services, either to increase your visit frequency or deduct from future sugar. I recommend not doing it and stick to the deal unless you have her on a very low retainer and consider her worthy of a raise.
2) How to refuse a loan?
To paraphrase our friend SubCmdr, be up front and say "Fuck no!" (Sorry Cmdr LOL) Or Lie like I would do and say you can't afford it because your wife won't give you any more allowance. I did this twice for Nando 1 s doind a "deal" that they would deliver later. Both stiffed me. We SDs need to be on the "stiffing " end.
3) non performance.
If you read a week back I reported such a thing with my HCB. She was on her period and did not feel good so did not take care of business for me. I nicely told her later how disappointed I was and she seemed to get the message. This is untenable since it is such an integral part of the "deal" I recommend addressing this up front in the making of the deal. Girls have periods every fucking month and some won't perform and some will. Get it straight. My former ATF HCB took care of me no matter what. My current has this one strike, so we will see if she learned her lesson. I don't pay to hang out with a cute girl. I think a freebie is good if she doesn't want to perform but likes your company.
4) gifts.
Cash is always appreciated but if you know her well then they love jewelry. I bought my former ATF HCB jewelry. I would take her on shopping trip to her favorite jeweler and give her a price range and let her pick 3 or 4 things that she liked. I would then call later and pay. If the SB is new to you Cash is good. If she is cash strapped then cash is good.
Anyone have a suggestion for a performance contract? This is "a little" tongue in cheek since we never want evidence out there but it is an exercise never the less in assuring that we get what we need / want. Perhaps to just use as a talking point.
This is to certify that the following arrangement is make between the party of the first part and . Flesh it in and remember the salient details when you are discussing the points you would like to cover. Sugar for sex is pretty evident but how about issues like sickness, periods, etc? If intercourse is not desired what is the expectation?
I got a question for the brotherhood. I know some of you always suit up, but there's also a group of us that just can't help going raw. So I wanted to ask those in the latter group, how do you exchange STD tests discretely? How do you give a SB a test that has enough satisfactory information while still maintaining your deep cover? Seems like you have to reveal your real name because if the std test doesn't match your sugar name, she's going to think it's fake.
So how do you guys handle this situation? I plan on still going raw with certain SBs but I want to have exchanging tests as part of the normal routine. STDs still aren't fool-proof, but at least I'll know if she was clean 3-6 months ago.
[QUOTE=HollywoodGuy; 1731754] (guilty) Thou shalt not pursue those desperate enough to threaten you.
(always do this as much as possible) Thou shalt not meet a potential SB without doing your upfront research on her. Facebook, twitter, email, tin eye, google image search. Anything you can use to confirm she is who she says.
(I have a phone just for the girls) Thou shalt not use a personal or corporate cell phone. Get a throwaway phone or Google Voice.
(I always use a disposable email address) Thou shalt not use your personal email address. Create an email address used strictly for SB's. I recommend Gmail or Hushmail as they make it harder to trace your IP address. Not foolproof at all, but beyond the capability of most SB's.
(guilty) Thou shalt not use your home or business for meetings.
(not guilty) Thou shalt not provide sugar before meeting.
(not guilty) Thou shalt not leave your wallet unattended with a SB.
(there are some grey areas here) just booted one after 4 chances to make good, she wanted a fifth chance. LOL) Thou shalt not continue a relationship with a SB who does not live up to her end of the arrangement.
(guilty) Thou shalt not go raw.
(happened once, huge mistake) Thou shalt not fall in love.[/QUOTE]Only once did I hook up with a potential SB who was desperate enough to threaten me. Sometimes you just don't know. The really spooky ones seem perfectly normal until they fly off the handle. This one wanted hush money and threatened everything. At first it was sympathy for her financial plight and that she would kill herself if she didn't get a lot of sugar pronto. That turned ugly when the requested sugar was not delivered immediately and she threatened everything from having her male buddies make me wish I were dead to cutting off my junk herself.
Your advice on protecting your identity is very wise. In addition to all of the things you mentioned, keep all the personal information in your vehicle locked up (registration, insurance, etc.). Also, if you use a hotel when you get together with your SB, by all means try to use no-tell motels where they are happy to get paid in cash and do not ask for identification. It isn't as nice as the Four Seasons but the luxury of the room isn't worth the hassle if a crazy SB goes on the warpath trying to track you down.
For those who have been following my recent experiences, you'll remember that I notably got burned by my Collegiate SB. Basically I treated her like the futures market and gave her a decent amount of money only for it to never pay off. Things were progressing until she flat out said she didn't find me attractive enough to sleep with after giving hints earlier that she did. Needless to say things ended right then and there, and I didn't give her a penny since.
Even still, she's still texted me maybe about once a week or so to say hi. I was cordial but didn't really engage in much conversation beyond the pleasantries. Part of me wanted to tell her to just shove off, but with the benefit of some sugar bowl experience, the other part of me reminded me that they almost always come back.
And indeed she did. I got a text message yesterday from her and she flat out said she would sleep with me if I gave her money for a trip this weekend (I'm guessing it probably would have been 100. 150ish). I was pleasantly surprised because like I said this girl is a certified 10 and she's a pretty high profile athlete at her college. But I still was cautious, while she was very close I could sense she wasn't quite over the edge yet. I played it cool and basically asked her some follow-up questions, which caused her to rethink and change her mind for now. And I was fine with that. She wasn't desperate enough. Even if she went through it, I could tell she probably would just lay there and close her eyes. But I want her to get desperate enough to where she knows she has to work for it in the bedroom and she'll feign enthusiasm. Once she has the right frame of mind, my bedroom skills will take care of the rest. So she's not quite there yet, but she's inching ever closer. And as we talked further, I found out she has even more expenses coming that she just found out later in the day. So she could ripen in just a few weeks time for a quality FC visit, but we'll see. She's know too that I refuse to give her a penny until after I've banged her, so she now knows what time it is. I've already made my investment, now I'm just waiting to see if it ever pays off.
Just goes to show that if you're a gentleman and a girl gets used to receiving money from you (whether you've banged them or not) , they almost always come back eventually. That's why unless the girl was a danger, I always leave the door cracked open when things end or don't work out. The second time around the girl almost always has a much better (and realistic) attitude.
I have notes below. Just FYI. I am currently not married but work / travle alot so yes that is an advantage. But I have been married and had SB's at that time.
[QUOTE=Revvo; 1731355]LM,
I really appreciated your Q&A and read it a couple of times. I too am in a pretty good situation with a SB that is on retainer. And I wonder about a couple of things.
Have any of your LT SB's ever hit you up for extra cash?
Sure. They were not around for LT. LOL. I may give them one chance but if they keep coming back. They are gone. And if they are going to ask for more. It will happen soon in the game.
Ever had a long term baby that was cash strapped and hurting, not a Nando 1 just someone who is going through a hard time?
I have not. Maybe ahint or two. Like wanting to visit family over the holiday etc. So thats vaild to me. And that is what happened.
If so how do you handle it?
See above.
So far this has not happened but I want to be prepared in case. Do you refuse, or just give it to them, or ignore them?
How about the reverse. Have they ever tried to skimp on service after getting their retainer?
If they did. Guess what. They are not going to be a LT SB. I mean their are exceptions. Like people really do get sick. Or maybe something extra with practice or school came up but the good ones always make up for it!
Once again this has not happened to me yet. Mine has been very good about it. She even made herself available when she was on her period and sick to boot. Told me it was my decision. I took that as a high quality woman right there. So we just ended up hanging out in the FC, laying in bed and talking. It was pretty good.
Yeah. I have done that too. But generally ask for a trade. Ill give yo a massage and you can help me relax.
You mentioned gifts, how about birthdays? Just give them cash?
Usually an actual gift. Maybe a gift card. Spa trip. Victoria secret. (that usually ends up benefiting me too. LOL)
Do you have any tips for heading any of these issues or other potential issues off as opposed to responding after the fact?
I actaully invest time in my search for a LY SB. As mentioned. This is the best SB I have ever had over 10 yrs. If I was 20 yrs younger. I'd try to keep her. Haha. By investment. I mean that I make it clear that the first few times we meet will be in public and I have no expectations and just meet for dinner etc. And I follow through. If I like her the first time we meet I may give her a gift card of some sort. $50. And do so as we meet the next couple times. If we are actaully meeting I have already discussed some system with them as to how I plan to help them such as a prepaid charge card that I will add too every couple weeks. This is the protocol I use if I think she has potential as a LT SB. If they start talking about how much cash. When etc. Then they are more likely pro or semi pro. By best SB's never asked and they were news. So I woudl set the stage and they were happy.
I want to learn from your deep experiences. I did not even know that this world existed before January.
Enjoy. I have met dozens and dozens of girls to only get a couple reaaaaaaaly great ones. But the chase is fun too!
But I am liking it right now.[/QUOTE]
Sorry fo ral the typos and a couple grammar errors. It was early and I did not reread.
[QUOTE=LikeMike1963;1731969]I have notes below. Just FYI. I am currently not married but work / travle alot so yes that is an advantage. But I have been married and had SB's at that time.[/QUOTE]
Mike,
You should try multi-quoting to format your answers better. The way it is now, it appears that Revvo said all of that. See below or see Lit's post here.
[url]http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/showthread.php?9746-quot-Sugarbabies-quot-quot-Arrangements-quot-Amateurs-or-Not&p=1727294&viewfull=1#post1727294[/url]
To see what I mean. It's pretty easy, just cut and paste the QUOTE and End QUOTE markers in the places you want to answer and use the preview report function to make sure it looks how you want it before posting. Just a friendly suggestion.
[QUOTE=LikeMike1963;1731969]I have notes below.[/QUOTE]Your notes are in Revvo's quote.
[QUOTE=LikeMike1963;1731969]Just FYI. I am currently not married[/QUOTE]Being single makes the SD game easier.
[QUOTE=LikeMike1963;1731969]but work / travle alot so yes that is an advantage.[/QUOTE]See what I mean.
[QUOTE=LikeMike1963;1731969]But I have been married and had SB's at that time.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=LikeMike1963;1731969]I actaully invest time in my search for a LY SB. As mentioned. This is the best SB I have ever had over 10 yrs. If I was 20 yrs younger. I'd try to keep her. Haha. By investment. I mean that I make it clear that the first few times we meet will be in public and I have no expectations and just meet for dinner etc. And I follow through. If I like her the first time we meet I may give her a gift card of some sort. $50. And do so as we meet the next couple times. If we are actaully meeting I have already discussed some system with them as to how I plan to help them such as a prepaid charge card that I will add too every couple weeks. This is the protocol I use if I think she has potential as a LT SB. If they start talking about how much cash. When etc. Then they are more likely pro or semi pro. By best SB's never asked and they were news. So I woudl set the stage and they were happy.[/QUOTE]This is a dignified and well thought out procedure which obviously works for you. It's got to be better for the baby than the rapid fire, fast penetration followed by abandonment attacks many of us specialize in. Yours is not my thing, because I don't want that kind of involvement, but I certainly respect it. However, I'm curious how you handled the security risk while you were married.
I shouldn't have used the word attacks in my last post. I don't practice or approve of any kind of non-consensual sexual activity. Rapid fire sugary seductions is what I like.
[QUOTE=John G Smith;1731929]I got a text message yesterday from her and she flat out said she would sleep with me *** I could sense she wasn't quite over the edge yet.[/QUOTE]By the time you finally agree to fuck this poor girl she will be so eager she may break your dick off, so watch out. Nice self-discipline, JG.