General Reports

[QUOTE=Sillyolman;1280441]I do believe there is a Jokes and Humorous stories thread here on USA. Why not leave this thread for what it is intended and post all your jokes and cleverness over there?[/QUOTE]

There is indeed a jokes and humorous stories thread right here on USA. I've posted about it before at least two times. The problem is that it isn't listed with the rest of the threads here for the Orlando forum. You have to click out of here and go to the main front page to get to it.

If Jackson wants to put this thread in our forum, that would be cool. If someone wants to start a new jokes thread in the Orlando forum, Jackson will tell us to go to the thread that already exists in the main board's page.

General Discussion is a great place to put these jokes. I'm all for it and love Ashley's attitude towards it.

I'm better from surgery! Still a bit tender but much better. So I'm now taking. Some calls. Mostly regulars.

Gosh, are you guys so grumpy that you can't enjoy the humor Ashley has brought to the board.

Ashley, keep up the good work. We are a pretty tight knit group and it is obvious the the majority of the board enjoys yours and others jokes. If Jackson were to start a jokes thread that would be great too but I really don't see the need.

If the Grumpy Old Men don't like the jokes all they have to do is keep scrolling.

Keep up the good work Ash,

Marc70

[QUOTE=Mystical0945; 1280494]Okay here we go off to yet another blah, blah blah session. The joking around was started by me for the simple fact that there was just too much back bitting, name calling and just plain ass childish bullshit that was going on here. I love this forum and have made several wonderful friends both male and female from here. But when things start to go south and I start getting the feeling like I want to do the same thing I said what the hell maybe we as the loving community that we are should lighten things up a bit. So the humor started rolling. My Goddess I would much rather laugh then be pissed off. I would much rather read something that brings a smile to my face as well as my heart then read about Joe Blow calling Tom, Dick and Harry names. I loved it when everyone started adding there humor as well. So bring on the smiles good people BRING THEM ON!

Or are we not to make you smile out of the bedrooms?

XOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOX[/QUOTE]I personnally like the jokes and look forward to seeing them everyday no matter what thread they are on. So keep up the good work beautiful!

JADA69

A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite donkey, who was depressed, so he put out a proclamation that he would pay anyone in the kingdom 200 gold pieces if they could make his donkey happy. Many tried, all failed.

Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was indeed happy. So happy in fact, that he was laughing heartily. The jester got the gold, but a few days passed and the king couldn't make the donkey stop laughing. So he put out another proclamation saying he would pay 500 gold pieces to anyone who could make the donkey stop.

The jester returned, went in to see the donkey for a few seconds, and when he came out, the donkey was crying. The king asked the jester how he did it. The jester said,"I will tell you for another 200 gold pieces."

When the jester had received his gold, he revealed,"On my first visit, I told the donkey that my dick was bigger than his. This time I showed him."

Husband goes home and walks in on his wife packing her suitcase. He asks her "where are you going"? She replies "I'm going to Las Vegas. I hear guys pay $200 for blowjobs in Las Vegas and why should I do for you for free what I can get paid $200 for in Vegas"? He digests that and heads upstairs.

Soon husband returns with his suitcase packed. Wife asks,"where are you going"? He replies "I'm going to Las Vegas too". She asks why. He says " I want to see you live on $400 a year." rimshot drum.

Thanks all for all the great info.

[QUOTE=Austins66; 1281206]A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite donkey, who was depressed, so he put out a proclamation that he would pay anyone in the kingdom 200 gold pieces if they could make his donkey happy. Many tried, all failed.

Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was indeed happy. So happy in fact, that he was laughing heartily. The jester got the gold, but a few days passed and the king couldn't make the donkey stop laughing. So he put out another proclamation saying he would pay 500 gold pieces to anyone who could make the donkey stop.

The jester returned, went in to see the donkey for a few seconds, and when he came out, the donkey was crying. The king asked the jester how he did it. The jester said,"I will tell you for another 200 gold pieces."

When the jester had received his gold, he revealed,"On my first visit, I told the donkey that my dick was bigger than his. This time I showed him."[/QUOTE]LMAO! Love it!

Ashley Z

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously,"What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma."I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered."But you're so old. How do you do it?"

Grandma replied,"Oh, it's quite easy, sonny. I just remove my dentures and suck 'them dry!"

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y_-vsHvPBE&feature=youtu.be[/url]

Things are not always what they seem.

[QUOTE=Marc70; 1281137]Gosh, are you guys so grumpy that you can't enjoy the humor Ashley has brought to the board.

Ashley, keep up the good work. We are a pretty tight knit group and it is obvious the the majority of the board enjoys yours and others jokes. If Jackson were to start a jokes thread that would be great too but I really don't see the need.

If the Grumpy Old Men don't like the jokes all they have to do is keep scrolling.

Keep up the good work Ash,

Marc70[/QUOTE]I'm an old grumpy man but I loves jokes!

M-45

[QUOTE=Mafia45; 1281564]I'm an old grumpy man but I loves jokes!

M-45[/QUOTE]Baby that's not the Mafia45 sweetheart that I know.

For jokes to drop in and make some of us laugh and smile. Keep it up, I'd tell one but I am plum out of jokes right now!

WBB

Please tell me this is a joke?

[url]http://orlando.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/x-click-for-27/5192717[/url]

I'm scared! Thank god I think with the big head because I would have to shoot the little head if it even considered it!

[QUOTE=JediKnight58; 1281955]Please tell me this is a joke?

[url]http://orlando.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/x-click-for-27/5192717[/url]

I'm scared! Thank god I think with the big head because I would have to shoot the little head if it even considered it![/QUOTE]She looks like a real doll?

WBB

The only doll "she" resembles is a Transformer.

I believe she is the Decepticon [b]StartsScreams[/b].

But if you are into playing with things that are more than meets the eye, TOFTT.

[QUOTE=JediKnight58; 1281955]Please tell me this is a joke?

[url]http://orlando.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/x-click-for-27/5192717[/url]

I'm scared! Thank god I think with the big head because I would have to shoot the little head if it even considered it![/QUOTE]