Massage Parlor Reports

[QUOTE=DrunkAsShit]1. Where is the best place in DC to get laid for under $200?
2. Are all the AMPs in DC full service?
3. Which AMPs guarantee Greek and ATM for no extra charge?
4. Which AMP has the best looking strumpets?
5. How much does a decent rub and tug cost in DC?
6. Will I be hassled by 5-0?
7. Are there any AMPs that give gift coupons?
8. All all DC AMPs KMPs or are there AZN providers out there?
9. Is EROS-DC a scam or what?
10. Can Igeta blow job and full service at H&H flotation above Papa John's on WIsconsin Ave?
11. Is H&H really a skrulnik joint?
12. Is that place above Eye bar closed for good?
13.[/QUOTE]Drunk as shit,

You must be Drunk if you think all this intel can be had here. As others have said before RTFF and you can get 70% of your questions answered in one form or another.

Whats a skrulnik?

PC out

[QUOTE=Bill88]I had the misfortune to visit sun around lunch time. After being kept in the waiting room for 20 minutes I was ushered to the VIP room by the usual mamasan. I didnot specify my choice, assuming she will send me someone I wouldnot turn down. Being a desperate bastard, I accepted Tina like a long lost GF. She apologized profusely in her limited Engrish, and promised a learry good time

Had to wait for the shower another ten minutes.

Then one of the more disappointing TS. No washing of mianus. A massage I could do without followed. Then a fairly good CBJ, although raincoat was put on using hands.

CG, followed by the dog. Then cleanup.

Yikes, I notice pink spot on towel. That stupid mamasan had given me a girl who was bleeding. I get a through wet towel. Later when I am changing out of my white drawers, I notice a hint of the pink.

Be careful out there, and Be especially careful what you bring back to SWMBO.

By the way would LL or others in the know PM the new location for Thai food? Please!![/QUOTE]Bill,

After upteen years of mongering, it will happen that you will catch the girls on the rag. Its an unavoidable issue unfortunately however I am surprised that this one didnt make sure the Spongee was fit properly. I cant even begin to say how many DATYs I had when they were on their periods. I dont even want to imagine.

Anyhow, I wouldnt get too upset. Shit happens. Now you know when not to go see MS Spongee for Massagieee.

PC out

[QUOTE=Bill88]I had the misfortune to visit sun around lunch time. After being kept in the waiting room for 20 minutes I was ushered to the VIP room by the usual mamasan. I didnot specify my choice, assuming she will send me someone I wouldnot turn down. Being a desperate bastard, I accepted Tina like a long lost GF. She apologized profusely in her limited Engrish, and promised a learry good time

Had to wait for the shower another ten minutes.

Then one of the more disappointing TS. No washing of mianus. A massage I could do without followed. Then a fairly good CBJ, although raincoat was put on using hands.

CG, followed by the dog. Then cleanup.

Yikes, I notice pink spot on towel. That stupid mamasan had given me a girl who was bleeding. I get a through wet towel. Later when I am changing out of my white drawers, I notice a hint of the pink.

Be careful out there, and Be especially careful what you bring back to SWMBO.

By the way would LL or others in the know PM the new location for Thai food? Please!![/QUOTE]

Based on that, Sun is off my list. There has been a bit of a myth that the AMPs are so safe.

[QUOTE=Junky11]Based on that, Sun is off my list. There has been a bit of a myth that the AMPs are so safe.[/QUOTE]I went for a walk in the Sun recently, as well. I ran into Jennifer and had a better experience. L/A/S was 8/9/8. PM for more specifics.

OG

[QUOTE=Pcpc1688]Drunk as shit,
You must be Drunk if you think all this intel can be had here. As others have said before RTFF and you can get 70% of your questions answered in one form or another.
Whats a skrulnik?
PC out[/QUOTE]

In defense of DrunkAsShit, I believe that his post was a parody of El Matematico's post. The same El Matematico who was shunned to his own thread.

If I am wrong then flame me as well.

DN

Cabbie,
Loved the post. Please read your PM.

I have also responded to most of the RFI's concerning my previous posts, so those who asked have the info, except that guy with zero posts.
[QUOTE=Dick North]I believe that his post was a parody of El Matematico's post. The same El Matematico who was shunned to his own thread.[/QUOTE]DN,
You are correct, El stupido posts something stupid, and we have five spinoff posts before somebody reports El Stupido to Jackson to get the post removed.

BTW-I thought DrunkAsses' 20 questions was fucking funny. It is nice to see PCP monitoring the board for us, just wish he would have picked up on the sarcasm before replying.

Welcomes to BT3, Pussylipsmeister, and Original GString.

[QUOTE=Junky11]Based on that, Sun is off my list. There has been a bit of a myth that the AMPs are so safe.[/QUOTE]Junkman,
Safer than the streets, at least most of these girls clean up and bathe between clients, and use mouthwash. But we are still talking about girls who fuck 1-10 guys a day, so safe is a relative term. You need to cover your Johnson or SWMBO may have some thoughts about how to spend your alimony payments...


[b]Report: [/b]
Went back for some Thai food, late night - 1am. Nikki or Vikki opened the door and looked a bit distant. No hug, no warm smile. Kept her distance. WTF? Led me to her room and asked if I wanted her to service me. Saying, "I take care you, it OK. Or if you want another girl I don't care... Up to you."

Now, "Up to you" is a Thai girl's way of saying, "I will comply with your wishes because you are paying me and I am being my little submissive self. However, do not expect a stellar performance because I'm not into it."

I got the drift and asked to see the other girls. One girl came running out of the back and into a dressing room where she changed into something sexy in like three seconds. Another girl was sitting behind the corner with crossed legs, and did not move. All I can tell about her is she is probably at least 5'6" and slender. That is based entirely on the length and shape of her calves.

As always for me, best actress wins. Nana got herself changed and was the only one in the lineup... At least I think so, she was definately the only one I saw! She is quite hot. K girl. Looks about 25 y.o. but may be a bit older. Pure black wavy hair just past her shoulders. Enhanced C cups, and a flawless body.

TS was playful and thourough. She noted the standard [b]tip folded into my cellphone©[/b] and asked if it were her tip. I nodded in the affirmative, and she left to get her equipment. BTW-She waited until we were finished and I was satisfied before actually taking the tip and handing my cellphone to me while getting dresed, very polite.

On her return, she fed me mouthwash (always a great sign) and stripped. We did a bit of mutual groping and even some BBSJ (bare back shaft job) before laying me face-down. The massagi was not in my definition of massagi. More like a erotic stimulation thing. It was a succession of tickle jobs, first with the fingers, then the hair, then her tits, and finally her touge. She covered up her tounge and the ARJ was nice, but not steller.

On the flip she gave me a nice CBJ almost to completion, but I stopped the process and told her, "Turn over baby." She complied, and I enjoyed some nice DATY. She didn't seem to respond well but finally declared her desire to be fucked hard--maybe she did enjoy it? She positioned her pelvis on the edge of the bed and raised the legs for a nice deep fuck. I gave it to her, and enjoyed it to completion.

Nana:
Face 7
Body 9 (deduction for fake tits, do the math)
Massagi N/A
Sexo 7
I would repeat.

She was difinately compliant and tried to act the part, but she is not very good at acting. The eye candy is subperb. Probably the late night thing affected the whole staff.

BTW - the spa closes at 2am eevery night except Fri and Saturday. I was shown out at closing time.

LoveLOS

[size=0][i][b]...tip folded into my cellphone ©2007, LoveLOS[/b][/i][/size]

Great reports LL & Cabby. Sounds like I've got a couple stops to make...away from the sunlight...

Took a nap this afternoon after a hard day at work and dreamed I was on K street near 14th and entering an unmarked doorway slightly below street level.

Some very short and old Korean woman hustled me into room 6 and told me to get ready for a beautiful girl.

I did so and shortly in comes "Yong"! About 5'3" C-cups, shoulder length hair, pretty face, good English speaking skills.

She asked me, in my dream, if I wanted a shower and I told her I want everything there is to get!

Off to the shower. OUTSTANDING shower!

Sauna for about 5 minutes to dry

Back to room 6 for a very good hard massage of the back and neck. Really worked out the kinks well.

Then she lost her few clothes and said to give her money which I did, again in this dream.

Turn over. She demonstrated that she really IS from Asia and explored all the deep recesses of the land very well. Then she explained about why she had a French accent, again getting VERY DEEP into the subject.

We discussed all about the missionary population for a while and then I discovered she is as fond of canines as I am and we discussed them for about 20 minutes.

She told me she was getting tired so we covered some more of this history of the missionary population and after making my final point was made, it was time for me to go home.

I woke up back in my office with a large wet spot on the front of my pants!!!!

OH NO!!! If only it had all been real!

14K - Yong - tell her that Jim with the "big and strong ****" sent you.

Very nice nap and I hope to repeat the dream again soon!

JJ

Slezer, that was great prose. Don't you wish shit like that would happen in real life?

LL

Would that it were so!

We live in such a sad, sad world.



[QUOTE=LoveLOS]Slezer, that was great prose. Don't you wish shit like that would happen in real life?

LL[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Bill88]I had the misfortune to visit sun around lunch time. After being kept in the waiting room for 20 minutes I was ushered to the VIP room by the usual mamasan. I didnot specify my choice, assuming she will send me someone I wouldnot turn down. Being a desperate bastard, I accepted Tina like a long lost GF. She apologized profusely in her limited Engrish, and promised a learry good time

Had to wait for the shower another ten minutes.

Then one of the more disappointing TS. No washing of mianus. A massage I could do without followed. Then a fairly good CBJ, although raincoat was put on using hands.

CG, followed by the dog. Then cleanup.

Yikes, I notice pink spot on towel. That stupid mamasan had given me a girl who was bleeding. I get a through wet towel. Later when I am changing out of my white drawers, I notice a hint of the pink.

Be careful out there, and Be especially careful what you bring back to SWMBO.

By the way would LL or others in the know PM the new location for Thai food? Please!![/QUOTE]
SAW TINA , VERY DISSAPOINTED, SAIS ONLY BEEN IN TOWN ABOUT 2 MONTHSAND 20 DAYS, SHE NEEDS TO GO BACK. ts poor, fake o worthless, does not like daty, not clean shaven, small breast, at least 39 years old. would not repeat. dont waste your $

This index covers reports of DC AMPS as found here on the board from November 2006 to December 30, 2006.

Any review over a few days old may already be out of date, and the providers may have moved on.

Listings follow the format:
Provider - date of report - reviewers handle (*)

* subjective qualification on my behalf as to whether it was a positive, negative, or other/mixed review.

Previous Report posted on 11/9/06

Sun (108)
========
Bebe - 12/28/06 - LoveLOS (+)
Gina - 12/27/06 - Rejected Monke (+)
bebe - 12/26/06 - DCrez (+)
Honey - 12/24/06 - Laxman #2 (+)
Miko - 12/20/06 - Santeesucks (?)
Bebe - 12/20/06 - LoveLOS (+)
bebe - 12/19/06 - Member #2652 (+)
Honey - 12/18/06 - cabdriver52 (+)
Honey - 12/18/06 - pussprowler (+)
Bebe - 12/17/06 - Macphisto (+)
Miko - 12/16/06 - Chicago II (+)
Cindy - 12/14/06 - pussprowler (+)
Nana - 12/13/06 - DCrez (+)
Bebe - 12/12/06 - Robert1744 (+)
Patty - 12/8/06 - captain video (+)
Sue chen - 12/6/06 - Only Me (+)
Cindy - 12/5/06 - DrummerBoy (-)
Joy - 12/1/06 - Likes fun peeps (+)
patty - 11/28/06 - Iron Viet (+)
Jenny - 11/24/06 - twist (+)
Paly - 11/15/06 - Tiny Tiger (+)
Jenny - 11/22/06 - Santeesucks (+)
Joy - 11/22/06 - Tiny Tiger (+)
Mimi - 11/21/06 - MoonView (+)
Mimi - 11/20/06 - Corsair88 (+)
Mimi - 11/20/06 - Fun997 (?)
Coco - 11/17/06 - Cabdriver52 (+)
Mimi - 11/16/06 - Tiny Tiger (+)
??? - 11/16/06 - Tiny Tiger (+)
Joy - 11/15/06 - Cone (+)
Young and Honey - 11/14/06 - LoveLOS (+,+)
Joy - 11/14/06 - Paco2888 (+)
Joy - 11/12/06 - ravensfan (+)
Honey - 11/9/06 - pussprowler (+)
Mimi - 11/7/06 - Inca79 (+)
Mimi - 11/7/06 - Crazy dick (+)
Mimi - 11/7/06 - laxman #2 (+)
??? - 11/7/06 - pussprowler (+)
May - 11/6/06 - Laxman #2 (+)
Mimi - 11/5/06 - Rejected Monke (+)
Young - 11/3/06 - Fun997 (+)
Mimi - 11/3/06 - Haywoo Jablome (+)
Mimi - 11/2/06 - Freshly Snipes (+)
Sonya - 11/2/06 - Freshly Snipes (Golgo 13) (-)


Supra (28)
=====
Seven - 12/14/06 - Sooner1 (?)
Coco - 12/7/06 - Jack B Nimble (+)
Sophia - 12/6/06 - Cone (-)
Sophia - 12/1/06 - Frank99 (-)
Mimi/Suahi - 11/27/06 - Oracle2 (+)BBFS
Sophia - 11/21/06 - Dudeman-12 (-)
Coco - 11/18/06 - Junky11 (+)
Coco - 11/16/06 - Tiny Tiger (+)


Oriental (1716I, Boss, castle)(19)
========
Jenny - 12/29/06 - Corsair88 (+)
Sara - 11/29/06 - Corsair88 (+)
Cici - 11/26/06 - Jdmh22 (?)
Youmi/Yumi - 11/5/06 - Dr Zigzag (+)
Micki - 11/4/06 - Macphisto (+)
J - 11/4/06 - Logix357 (+)


Mirage (617 K,Magic) (12)
====================
Candy - 12/14/06 - BikJik69 (-)
hana - 12/13/06 - Dcrez (-)
candy - 11/8/06 - Hugh Jardon (+)

14K (13)
===
Connie - 12/7/06 - pussprowler (+)
nana - 11/20/06 - Ampfreq (+)


Accu-fitness (4)
============
Joanne - 12/16/06 - Kluvr (?)
Annie - 11/19/06 - Kliuvr (+) - new location

IHC (Mini)(6)
==========
Michelle/Apple - 11/22/06 - Tezar (+/+)
nadia - 11/17/06 - Laxman #2 (+)

OK (12)
==
Jun - 12/10/06 - Ampfreq (+)
Jun - 11/2/06 - Ampfreq (+)

Rio (2)
===
Penny - 11/3/06 - Vamonger (+)


No new reports this period
==========================
Hummingbird Spa, H&H floatation (5), VIP Spa, Youngs (georgetown)Venus (3), Royal (20), Happiness (59), Georgetown Body Therapy , Petworth


HWC (4)
===
Cherri - 11/1/06 - Virginian 2006 (?)

Comfort therapeutic (springfield)(2)
===================
12/19/06 - legit - bigelow12

Sakura(2)
======
Kelly - 12/2/06 - Saiyen (+)

M spa (2)
=====
??? - 11/27/06 - Original Gster (?)


Closed
++++++


CPHC (34)
====
Busted:( - 8/17/06 - Laxman #2

Downtown (39)
========
Busted :( - A John 8/15/06

NWS (new World)
===============
3/1/06 - slowfloyd (confirmation) [tt]


King Tan Closed? - 7/12/06 - Crash11

Moonlight (balt)
========
closed :( - 8/16/06 - Yellofvr

Oriental Spicy
=============
:( busted - 8/20/06 - Smokey 2009



Wayward One
All reports should be read as interactive fiction.


No amp names
============
Webdog - 12/7/06 - Best or K in chantilly (+)
WebDog - hana - 12/7/06 - on K st
Washit - 11/9/06 - no name (?)

Great Job WW1!

Thought I would add my 2¢ in the form of some links and up to date type stuff, like the answer to all the foolish newbies questions:[QUOTE=El Moronico]Where's the best place to get laid in DC?[/QUOTE] [b]Here is the open and closed list:[/b]
Spas that I believe to be [b]open[/b] at this time:[indent]Sun
Supra
Oriental (aka: 1716I, Boss, Castle)
Mirage (aka: 617 K, Magic)
14K (aka: 1413K)
Accu-fitness
IHC (aka: Mini)
OK
Rio (aka: Olympic)
Royal
VIP Spa
Youngs (Georgetown)[/indent]
Spas that I believe to be [b]closed[/b] at this time:[indent]Happiness
CPHC
Downtown
NWS (new World)
King Tan[/indent][b]And here is how to get there:[/b]
[post=356389]Addresses and metro stops[/post]

Between these two reports, if you cannot find it, PLEASE don't ask, we can't help you.

LoveLOS

PS Please advise if I am in error.

Friday nite decided to end my two month abstinance of AMPs, ending up with Sora at Sun. Said she's only been there a couple days. I'd say she's on the younger/average age, looks korean/jap mix to me (almond vs round face), enhanced top, bit of a fuller pear shaped bottom than the typical korean w/o a butt to speak of, and blond/brown hair (I prefer straight and jet black). Typical fare, but I was a little distracted by 20-somethings yapping as they were headed to/from CyUglies, so had a below average time. I'd give her solid 6s and 7s, but nothing worth repeating before checking the full stable. Glad to be back, take care out there. KL

ps. Looking forward to Honey's return in a couple weeks.

[QUOTE=LoveLOS]PS Please advise if I am in error.[/QUOTE]LL,

Thanks for the listing. I was @ Oriental Friday, Noon-time. Place looks like it is open, with the sign (YK) in place, Bell lit, and camera still there. Bell does not give a ring, so tried knocking LOUD, but to no avail. Thought I heard voices, but it was probably a dream. I'll try again, but not for a while.

AM