General Reports

I bet the name of your band is "The Boys Club".

[QUOTE=Pango1;6054048]I work from home but still have an office where I go about once a week as needed. I usually "have a meeting" which is not lying bc I'll grab an appointment with a provider in conjunction with the day I might meet co-workers for lunch or at the office. As far as the money trail, first off my wife NEVER and I mean never checks the accounts. She's clueless with money. So I could withdraw in small amounts if needed. I do well financially but I'm also lucky enough to have a little side hustle as a musician where my gigs are either paid in cash or I simply cash some of the checks. The latter is the most common option I take as I'm picky with providers and don't see as many as other gentlemen.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=NickNock986;6054064]You would think the nerd would stop her.

No I really don't mind spending time with her, hanging out etc. Only issue I have is she is older and never ever wants sex anymore. Well that is an easy solution. I pay girls cause it keeps it totally unemotional, just a transaction. If we didn't like hanging out, I don't think I'd still be married.[/QUOTE]Sounds like you are lucky! Even without the sex, to have a partner that you get along with is golden. I know multiple married guys who are miserable but either won't / can't divorce. Independent of how you feel about Charlie Sheen, he said it best when refering to hookers, "I don't pay them for sex. I pay them to leave. " !

The reason us guys are on this site is our current and former spouses have lost their desire.

[QUOTE=NickNock986;6054064]You would think the nerd would stop her.

No I really don't mind spending time with her, hanging out etc. Only issue I have is she is older and never ever wants sex anymore. Well that is an easy solution. I pay girls cause it keeps it totally unemotional, just a transaction. If we didn't like hanging out, I don't think I'd still be married.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=JohhnyBravo;6053015]How does everyone hide the money trail from their spouse or SO? I usually get cash back at grocery stores, but that takes time, withdrawing small amounts every few weeks. My wife used to never look at the online bank account because she isn't very tech savvy so I just took out cash when I needed it. Recently she's started to look at it. No more large withdrawals for me. Also, too many cash back transactions in a small amount of time will be noticeable in our banking app, thus the need to spread them out over time.

I see that you can do direct deposit to PayPal and get a debit card. Has anyone done that? What about online only banks like Ally? They still have to mail you a debit card, so that would be hard to explain if you didn't get the mail before your wife. Looking for good options if anyone has any.

JB.[/QUOTE]You have a tough situation to navigate. As some have said, separate bank accounts but if you already deposit your checks into the joint account, how do you now justify your own separate account?

Do you each get a weekly allowance? If so, you could increase the amount you take out on occasion and say it's for golf, poker or whatever hobby or extracurricular activities you like to indulge in without her.

It's going to be pretty tough, justifying large cash withdrawals and her not becoming suspicious. She will probably think your on drugs. Actually, that wouldn't be a bad thing, considering the alternative.

Good luck.

[QUOTE=Bouinage;6053292]Well I guess in a simple ironic twist you have a partner that wants to be with you hahaha. Yea sounds like you need a solo hobby! I know where there is a game store where people gather to play board games and drink beer. You could find your inner nerd and tell her that you have become into that. No woman wants to do that haha.[/QUOTE]Sounds like his wife would. LOL!

[QUOTE=JohhnyBravo;6053617]Especially with Becca![/QUOTE]You ain't never lied. I'm in good shape and she puts me through it.

Last time I saw her, which was last week, she said she's selfish in bed and that's probably not a good a quality for a *****. Her words not mine.

After the choking and pushing and pulling, yes, you've been worked out.

Been married for 30 yrs and after menopause the sex drive of the wife went into the garbage, even when we do it which is not very often it is very vanilla. Some what of a dead fish. So what's the point. We get along great and to my point. I like all my stuff, not half my stuff after a divorce. Getting with new gals is always a blast and this site provides great information and weeds out the bad ones. I have now 3 or 4 regulars that I click with and really enjoy there company. I don't feel guilty cause men need sex and need to do something. As for the money thing, I play golf and usually pay up front on my card and the other 3 guys give me cash. Take in usually 150 each Saturday and pay the credit card from the checking account. Bingo, some play money for me. I travel some for work so I can get a room and its never in question or make up a meeting for a few hours during the daytime. I like meeting up with the gals during the day, safer and most aren't drunk stoned or high by noon.

I was thinking about doing direct deposit of a small amount from my paycheck into PayPal. I can explain the different deposit amount in our joint checking by saying I upped my 401 k contributions by a small amount. Then I just need to navigate the delivery of the PayPal debit card through the mail before she sees it. And of course make sure statements are paperless. Am I missing anything here?

[QUOTE=TheMechanik365;6054112]You have a tough situation to navigate. As some have said, separate bank accounts but if you already deposit your checks into the joint account, how do you now justify your own separate account?

Do you each get a weekly allowance? If so, you could increase the amount you take out on occasion and say it's for golf, poker or whatever hobby or extracurricular activities you like to indulge in without her.

It's going to be pretty tough, justifying large cash withdrawals and her not becoming suspicious. She will probably think your on drugs. Actually, that wouldn't be a bad thing, considering the alternative.

Good luck.[/QUOTE]

For me it seems to be a win-win situation. We are v. Happily married couple and been together for 22 years, problem is I used to be always frustrated at her because my sex drive is 100 x more than the wife which puts us both in a bad mood. After being in the hobby, I'm no longer frustrated and the irony is I'm getting more sex from her because we are both in better mood.

I actually had to cancel dates with regulars because she would beat them and surprise me with a good sex.

Idk, but if everyone is winning (even the provider) I don't see where the harm is expect for my pocket.

[QUOTE=David3131;6054272]Been married for 30 yrs and after menopause the sex drive of the wife went into the garbage, even when we do it which is not very often it is very vanilla. Some what of a dead fish. So what's the point. We get along great and to my point. I like all my stuff, not half my stuff after a divorce. Getting with new gals is always a blast and this site provides great information and weeds out the bad ones. I have now 3 or 4 regulars that I click with and really enjoy there company. I don't feel guilty cause men need sex and need to do something. As for the money thing, I play golf and usually pay up front on my card and the other 3 guys give me cash. Take in usually 150 each Saturday and pay the credit card from the checking account. Bingo, some play money for me. I travel some for work so I can get a room and its never in question or make up a meeting for a few hours during the daytime. I like meeting up with the gals during the day, safer and most aren't drunk stoned or high by noon.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=JohhnyBravo;6054586]I was thinking about doing direct deposit of a small amount from my paycheck into PayPal. I can explain the different deposit amount in our joint checking by saying I upped my 401 k contributions by a small amount. Then I just need to navigate the delivery of the PayPal debit card through the mail before she sees it. And of course make sure statements are paperless. Am I missing anything here?[/QUOTE]Do you have a trusted friend or relative who's address you can use?

[QUOTE=CltObserver;6054798]For me it seems to be a win-win situation. We are v. Happily married couple and been together for 22 years, problem is I used to be always frustrated at her because my sex drive is 100 x more than the wife which puts us both in a bad mood. After being in the hobby, I'm no longer frustrated and the irony is I'm getting more sex from her because we are both in better mood.

I actually had to cancel dates with regulars because she would beat them and surprise me with a good sex.

Idk, but if everyone is winning (even the provider) I don't see where the harm is expect for my pocket.[/QUOTE]My only issue now I have a bad shoulder do no golf in the last 30. That equals no extra cash flow. Arrrh.

[QUOTE=JohhnyBravo;6054586]I was thinking about doing direct deposit of a small amount from my paycheck into PayPal. I can explain the different deposit amount in our joint checking by saying I upped my 401 k contributions by a small amount. Then I just need to navigate the delivery of the PayPal debit card through the mail before she sees it. And of course make sure statements are paperless. Am I missing anything here?[/QUOTE]Perhaps you should "try a little day trading, just for fun". Open a Robinhood account, Set up recurring deposits, and find out that you "suck at options trading" You can have them send you a debit card for funding and withdrawing from your account, "I think it is something they must do for all new accounts".

A lot of you may know this but all posts are not what they seem; On the bird app earlier today and a provider had this to say.

Ok, I have a fellow monger friend (well, more of an acquaintance than a friend). Not a bad dude, but if he knew that I was in the hobbie, he would contact my ex to blab in hopes of sleeping with her. I know, not much of a friend but he's also the only guy that would show up if you needed to move furniture, LOL. As long as you pretend to live vicariously through him, he's harmless. Anyway, we calls the other day wanted to meet for a drink. So I meet him at the bar where he tells me he thinks he really fucked up this time. He decided to line up a sugar babe off of SA while out of town last month. So he meets the girl for dinner, invites her back to the hotel, then makes his "good night" call to the wife on the drive over to the hotel. Everything was perfect, she never checks up on him ever, so he thought he was clear for the night. So he and the SB have a drink at the hotel bar before heading up to the room. An hour later but while SB is still in the room, he checks the phone only to see the wife has called 20 times. Yikes, he runs to the lobby to call her back, assuming there must be an emergency. Yeah, the emergency was that she knew he was in the room with a girl 400 miles away, LOL. So he explains away all the possibilities while calming her down until she says "let's Facetime". So he fumbles the phone while running back to the room. Told SB to step out into the hall while he Facetimes the wife, then she panics and runs just outside the door. Now because he took so long to answer the call, she was even more convinced so she has him scan the entire room via facetime. Even told him to walk out into the hall, which he did but scanned so half ass that she she never saw anything. At this point he says he turns the table and claimed to be in his underwear about to go to bed and didn't have time to hear any more of that shit.

Here's where it gets hilarious. Knowing she's already mad he turns the phone off, gets SB settled down and starts the "dance" all over. SB now says, "hey can I get paid before we continue because you could have locked me out? Feeling bad about things he forks over the agreed amount and she starts to get comfortable. Now, the hotel phone rings, and yes, it's you know who. She tells him to turn his phone on and FaceTime her again. At this point, he knows if he doesn't she will only assume her claim was true so he's trying to salvage his story. He tells her to give him a minute while the phone boots up, meanwhile SB is completely nude trying to find her panties. So, he shoves her out again, had a knock down grag out with the Mrs and she never reveals what made her think of such a thing. After the call, he tried to find SB but she was gone (with the money, LOL). Probably the least of his worries but it would be insult to injury for me, LOL. He expected to see all of his belongings in the front yard when he got home but fortunately he's still in the house. He said it's been cold and quiet since then but he doesn't think she knows for sure. He even called the hotel after check out with legal threats if they gave out any info on him to anyone without a subpoena. Hell, he even asked me if I told on him. Of course I wouldn't unless I owed him that favor but he's still perplexed on how she could have known. I told him she probably read article on how to catch your man cheating and he just happened to be doing it when she tried it. I'm kinda with him in that if she had hard evidence, he'd be living in a one bedroom apartment right now.

I don't feel bad for the guy but I did want to add to the forum so some of you guys with an SO don't get too comfortable, especially if you have something to lose. I played a little when I was married but it scared me so bad that I only did it when I knew I had ab aliby that could not be confirmed. To be fare the technology was not around them either. So keep an I on your phones and all other technology if you have something nto lose, LOL.

[QUOTE=GutterMind4;6205153]Ok, I have a fellow monger friend (well, more of an acquaintance than a friend). Not a bad dude, but if he knew that I was in the hobbie, he would contact my ex to blab in hopes of sleeping with her. I know, not much of a friend but he's also the only guy that would show up if you needed to move furniture, LOL. As long as you pretend to live vicariously through him, he's harmless. Anyway, we calls the other day wanted to meet for a drink. So I meet him at the bar where he tells me he thinks he really fucked up this time. He decided to line up a sugar babe off of SA while out of town last month. So he meets the girl for dinner, invites her back to the hotel, then makes his "good night" call to the wife on the drive over to the hotel. Everything was perfect, she never checks up on him ever, so he thought he was clear for the night. So he and the SB have a drink at the hotel bar before heading up to the room. An hour later but while SB is still in the room, he checks the phone only to see the wife has called 20 times. Yikes, he runs to the lobby to call her back, assuming there must be an emergency. Yeah, the emergency was that she knew he was in the room with a girl 400 miles away, LOL. So he explains away all the possibilities while calming her down until she says "let's Facetime". So he fumbles the phone while running back to the room. Told SB to step out into the hall while he Facetimes the wife, then she panics and runs just outside the door. Now because he took so long to answer the call, she was even more convinced so she has him scan the entire room via facetime. Even told him to walk out into the hall, which he did but scanned so half ass that she she never saw anything. At this point he says he turns the table and claimed to be in his underwear about to go to bed and didn't have time to hear any more of that shit..[/QUOTE]She definitely knows. She wouldn't go through all of that if she didn't know. She wanted him to admit it and she's just biding her time to drop it on him.