Some free SA tips / advice
[QUOTE=Guidemaster67;4688730]Hey all so I just made a seeking account, about to go premium to message some of these girls. Do you all have pictures in your profile? I have no problem giving out pics to them later on but was skeptical.
About putting my pics on the site. Will most girls not respond without a pic from you? Or is the sd's privacy respected?[/QUOTE]Personally, I blur out my face using Microsoft Paint on my photos. No girl's ever given me grief about it, though admittedly my luck of actually meeting most since creating the account in January has been kinda bad (with the exception of 3 SBs). Some other tips:
I highly recommend that once you get a good vibe or read on the one that you're messaging, move that conversation to text. That's where you ought to discuss the particulars. You don't want to accidentally piss one of them off and have her report you for solicitation & whatnot, resulting in your profile being taken down and no refund. The best line for me that seems to generate serious responses is asking what their limitations or boundaries are. If they say they're not interested in any intimacy, or prefer online-only (which is against the site rules), or they outright say strictly platonic, then you'll know you're wasting your time.
Don't ever give your real name, your main email, primary phone number, job info, etc. Kind of a no-brainer, but it needs saying sometimes. Also if using Venmo, Pay Pal, Zelle, CashApp, or any other similar monetary accounts, ensure that your real name doesn't pop up or is publicly viewable when sending the money. The few SBs that I've seen have been fine with cash, but some prefer this route. Which leads to my next point.
Please please please don't engage in any form of PBM (pay-before-meet). That's begging to be scammed. Trust me, I'd know! And try to minimize lunch or dinner meets unless it's after the deed or if you're positive you'll go back to your place / hotel / car / whatever afterwards. As others have said here before, can't go wrong with coffee dates if a public setting is what they'd prefer for that initial meet. And if you're not 100% certain about a woman being real or worried it'll be a scam, you can insist on coffee first.
Finally, one trick I've started doing is asking them to pick a coffee shop or deli that's closest to their place so that way it's more convenient for them. Then I do my research to see if there's any good hotels, restaurants, etc nearby. That way I can book a hotel if the girl & I hit it off, or just grab some great food, shop, run errands, etc that wouldn't normally be near my place. Either way, my time will not have been wasted if the "date" is a no-show or goes sideways.
Anyway, that's about all the major stuff I can think of. Best of luck and cheers!
The Good, the Bad, and the Pathetic- My First 2 months on Seeking
I've hesitated posting on this, because, honestly, I clearly suck at dating, scoring, or whatever the term is. So, let me stop you up front- you don't need to tell me that I'm a moron, and a bit pathetic. When it comes to this stuff, I freely admit that I am, and I think that I've finally learned my lesson. If, however, you have constructive criticism, that can help me achieve my goal, I'm open to suggestions.
First, my limitations make success in Sugaring even more difficult. I'm married (my wife has zero interest in sex. None in over 10 years, and I was celibate for most of that time). I'm older-- in my 60's. While we have money, being married makes it difficult for me to access large amounts, so I've been limited to offering a fairly modest allowance. Additionally, in Sugaring, I'm hoping for more than just sex, but a real connection, with some potential for an emotional connection. Also, with the limits of my marriage, I'm mostly available to meet at night, around midnight. Lastly, I live a good ways south of Gainesville, so most Babies are at least an hours drive. So, going into SA with those significant hurdles, I joined SA in January, and binged on there for nearly 6 weeks straight. I must have texted 300 different Potentials. It was nearly impossible to keep up with all the texts. For many, I was able to move off SA and onto text.
I'll start with the Good- I had dates with 6 different women that resulted in doing the deed.
The first, met, went to a motel, and yada yada. She wasn't particularly clean, and after started smoking something, that looked way too much like crack, so that ended that. That left me with a UTI, and regret. (Covered for most, but not for oral).
The second, I'd hit it off online and we seemed to click. After some difficulty finding a night, we met and went back to her place. To call her room a sty would be an insult to pigs. She had hip problems so she was limited in her abilities. Once finished, she immediately rolled over, got her phone and began looking for her next. Again, left with mostly regret. I really want to find someone I don't want to run away from after sex.
The Third, a bit closer, cuter, and the $ was reasonable. Drove to her home, she invited me in and went right to it. Surprised me, because I'm used to at least taking them to get something to eat. She was pretty good at it. The room was a mess, but overall, other than being a smoker, it would have been an ongoing UTR for me. Second time, I took her to eat, (would have been nice if she or the others would attempt to dressed nicely), went back, did the deed. Still good. Third visit, she had said that the $ would be less, since I was regular. Halfway there, she calls and says she wants full $. I remind her and tell her what we agreed to. She asks "Can you give me a ride to pick up my sister's paycheck. 5 minute ride" Never mind it's after midnight, but I say OK (duh). The ride ends up being more like an hour. I take her to a place where she's supposed to meet her sister's boss. She asks for the $ upfront, and goes to see this guy. I drive her home. She says she has to get her room ready before I come in. She never comes out. And I realize that I probably took her to buy drugs. Out the $ for the night and goodbye.
The Fourth, this was the closest to an actual arrangement. Seemingly nice woman. We met 3 times, at a hotel. Based on our conversation, I knew that there wouldn't be immediate intimacy. After first, she said "next time". Next visit, she says "still not ready. Next time". Third visit, we do the deed, but my noodle isn't quite al dente (have since gotten some meds to avoid that). My go to is oral, because I'm told I'm good at it, but she says "next time". 2 months allowance, 3 hotel bills, and then she ghosts me.
The Fifth, this is the one that was good, but also most disappointing. We clicked online, and agreed to meet in our cars, near her place at midnight. I sat in her car and we talked for 30 minutes and I REALLY liked her. Sweet, kind, funny. Then she asks if I want to get in the back seat of my car. Hell yes. I figure we're just going to make out, but she jumps on my lap and starts grinding. We're in a public parking lot, so I'm a bit nervous, but damn. She's going to town on me, and lets me eat her, and she seems genuinely going crazy with it. We do the deed. She doesn't seem to want much $ but I give her some, and we say night and let's do it again. She ghosts me, for almost 2 weeks. Then I contact her again on SA and we meet again. Just like before, only better. Back of my car, with a memory foam mattress. But I have the same damn problem. No noodle (being parked on a public street might be a turn on for her, but it just makes me nervous). Still, we both get there. And we talk about going to a hotel the next time. I'm crazy about her. She doesn't seem to want much $. Perfect. But she ghosts me again. No response to texts in 4 weeks. The sex was great, but I was hoping for something ongoing. (I let my SA account lapse this month. If I restore this month, maybe she'll respond if I contact her there.).
The Sixth- clicked with this woman, closer to my age, on SA. Really cute and we seemed to hit it off online. Problem is that she lives 4 hours away. No way I can sneak away from my wife for a 4 hour drive. I find a way to visit family near there. I sneak away from my wife for the afternoon, and we go to a hotel. She is a great kisser, and the sex was great. If I can believe her, she tells me she came 3 times. We talk every other day, and if she can get her ex to take her kids for a night, we can meet halfway sometime, but it won't be a regular.
The Bad and the Pathetic- Almost everything else.
First, it doesn't matter how much you like them, how honest they seem, how sweet, innocent, or angelic they are- Don't Ever Send Money Before You Meet Them! The Pathetic is that, even knowing this, I did it, probably 5 times. It is Always! 100% a scam. They take the money, and that's the end of it. They will say "I'll see you this Saturday, but my rent is due today, can you help. My tires are bad, can you help". They may ask for money for transportation to meet you, or money to get their nails done to "be pretty" when they meet you. It's Always! A lie. Just say no. It's probably best, at that point, to just say goodbye and block, but definitely say no.
Second, "Rinsers"- damn. They keep conning me. They don't ask for money before you meet. They seem sweet, and interested in a relationship of some sort. They'll go to the first Meet and Greet. I'm a sucker, and buy their "girl next door" act every time. The general rule is that there is no money during a Meet and Greet. It's where you discuss an arrangement. Still, for me, since it's usually a late night, I'll bring a PPM (pay per meet), even though there's no expectation of sex. Sometimes, you'll get a second date.
My first, in person, rinser, was my dream girl. We talked arrangement, and agreed, so I gave her almost the full monthly allowance at the M&G. She just kept sending requests for more an more money, and could never find a time to meet. She ghosted me for 3 weeks, then came back saying that she was having problems but things were better, and she couldn't stop thinking about me. Gullible Gus goes to see her again, gives her more money. Then she sends a note saying what a great guy I am, but she can't date a married man, and she's still in love with some guy. A married guy's money was not against her ethics however.
My second, I've had two dates with. The last, I asked if I could kiss her goodbye, and she turned her head at the last second, so I got cheek. I haven't given her a lot of money, but enough. Since last week, no response. She may get back to me, but I'm skeptical.
The scary- I had one late night meet where I was essentially robbed and put in danger. Won't go into details. Nothing happened, other than losing some money.
I've left out 2 dozen different bad or insulting exchanges, some costing money and some just dignity.
My take away from all of this- to be a sugar daddy, maybe you have to be a heartless jerk, at least until the Sugar Baby shows that she isn't. Some use the adage "No honey. No Money", and maybe that's what is necessary. It's a shame though. I am looking for sex, but I'm also looking for a connection with another human being, a friendship, and a possible romance. Obviously, escorts will only provide the first, but I'm still hoping for more. They constantly say that Sugaring is not prostitution, but it seems that what isn't prostitution is mostly theft. The idea of sugaring being dating, and developing a relationship, with the addition of financial help seems to be mostly smoke and mirrors.
Good information and my take
[QUOTE=Blauper2;4689472]I've hesitated posting on this, because, honestly, I clearly suck at dating, scoring, or whatever the term is. So, let me stop you up front- you don't need to tell me that I'm a moron, and a bit pathetic. When it comes to this stuff, I freely admit that I am, and I think that I've finally learned my lesson. If, however, you have constructive criticism, that can help me achieve my goal, I'm open to suggestions.
First, my limitations make success in Sugaring even more difficult. I'm married (my wife has zero interest in sex. None in over 10 years, and I was celibate for most of that time). I'm older-- in my 60's. While we have money, being married makes it difficult for me to access large amounts, so I've been limited to offering a fairly modest allowance. Additionally, in Sugaring, I'm hoping for more than just sex, but a real connection, with some potential for an emotional connection. Also, with the limits of my marriage, I'm mostly available to meet at night, around midnight. Lastly, I live a good ways south of Gainesville, so most Babies are at least an hours drive. So, going into SA with those significant hurdles, I joined SA in January, and binged on there for nearly 6 weeks straight. I must have texted 300 different Potentials. It was nearly impossible to keep up with all the texts. For many, I was able to move off SA and onto text.
I'll start with the Good- I had dates with 6 different women that resulted in doing the deed.
The first, met, went to a motel, and yada yada. She wasn't particularly clean, and after started smoking something, that looked way too much like crack, so that ended that. That left me with a UTI, and regret. (Covered for most, but not for oral).
The second, I'd hit it off online and we seemed to click. After some difficulty finding a night, we met and went back to her place. To call her room a sty would be an insult to pigs. She had hip problems so she was limited in her abilities. Once finished, she immediately rolled over, got her phone and began looking for her next. Again, left with mostly regret. I really want to find someone I don't want to run away from after sex.
The Third, a bit closer, cuter, and the $ was reasonable. Drove to her home, she invited me in and went right to it. Surprised me, because I'm used to at least taking them to get something to eat. She was pretty good at it. The room was a mess, but overall, other than being a smoker, it would have been an ongoing UTR for me. Second time, I took her to eat, (would have been nice if she or the others would attempt to dressed nicely), went back, did the deed. Still good. Third visit, she had said that the $ would be less, since I was regular. Halfway there, she calls and says she wants full $. I remind her and tell her what we agreed to. She asks "Can you give me a ride to pick up my sister's paycheck. 5 minute ride" Never mind it's after midnight, but I say OK (duh). The ride ends up being more like an hour. I take her to a place where she's supposed to meet her sister's boss. She asks for the $ upfront, and goes to see this guy. I drive her home. She says she has to get her room ready before I come in. She never comes out. And I realize that I probably took her to buy drugs. Out the $ for the night and goodbye.
The Fourth, this was the closest to an actual arrangement. Seemingly nice woman. We met 3 times, at a hotel. Based on our conversation, I knew that there wouldn't be immediate intimacy. After first, she said "next time". Next visit, she says "still not ready. Next time". Third visit, we do the deed, but my noodle isn't quite al dente (have since gotten some meds to avoid that). My go to is oral, because I'm told I'm good at it, but she says "next time". 2 months allowance, 3 hotel bills, and then she ghosts me.
The Fifth, this is the one that was good, but also most disappointing. We clicked online, and agreed to meet in our cars, near her place at midnight. I sat in her car and we talked for 30 minutes and I REALLY liked her. Sweet, kind, funny. Then she asks if I want to get in the back seat of my car. Hell yes. I figure we're just going to make out, but she jumps on my lap and starts grinding. We're in a public parking lot, so I'm a bit nervous, but damn. She's going to town on me, and lets me eat her, and she seems genuinely going crazy with it. We do the deed. She doesn't seem to want much $ but I give her some, and we say night and let's do it again. She ghosts me, for almost 2 weeks. Then I contact her again on SA and we meet again. Just like before, only better. Back of my car, with a memory foam mattress. But I have the same damn problem. No noodle (being parked on a public street might be a turn on for her, but it just makes me nervous). Still, we both get there. And we talk about going to a hotel the next time. I'm crazy about her. She doesn't seem to want much $. Perfect. But she ghosts me again. No response to texts in 4 weeks. The sex was great, but I was hoping for something ongoing. (I let my SA account lapse this month. If I restore this month, maybe she'll respond if I contact her there.).
The Sixth- clicked with this woman, closer to my age, on SA. Really cute and we seemed to hit it off online. Problem is that she lives 4 hours away. No way I can sneak away from my wife for a 4 hour drive. I find a way to visit family near there. I sneak away from my wife for the afternoon, and we go to a hotel. She is a great kisser, and the sex was great. If I can believe her, she tells me she came 3 times. We talk every other day, and if she can get her ex to take her kids for a night, we can meet halfway sometime, but it won't be a regular.
The Bad and the Pathetic- Almost everything else.
First, it doesn't matter how much you like them, how honest they seem, how sweet, innocent, or angelic they are- Don't Ever Send Money Before You Meet Them! The Pathetic is that, even knowing this, I did it, probably 5 times. It is Always! 100% a scam. They take the money, and that's the end of it. They will say "I'll see you this Saturday, but my rent is due today, can you help. My tires are bad, can you help". They may ask for money for transportation to meet you, or money to get their nails done to "be pretty" when they meet you. It's Always! A lie. Just say no. It's probably best, at that point, to just say goodbye and block, but definitely say no.
Second, "Rinsers"- damn. They keep conning me. They don't ask for money before you meet. They seem sweet, and interested in a relationship of some sort. They'll go to the first Meet and Greet. I'm a sucker, and buy their "girl next door" act every time. The general rule is that there is no money during a Meet and Greet. It's where you discuss an arrangement. Still, for me, since it's usually a late night, I'll bring a PPM (pay per meet), even though there's no expectation of sex. Sometimes, you'll get a second date.
My first, in person, rinser, was my dream girl. We talked arrangement, and agreed, so I gave her almost the full monthly allowance at the M&G. She just kept sending requests for more an more money, and could never find a time to meet. She ghosted me for 3 weeks, then came back saying that she was having problems but things were better, and she couldn't stop thinking about me. Gullible Gus goes to see her again, gives her more money. Then she sends a note saying what a great guy I am, but she can't date a married man, and she's still in love with some guy. A married guy's money was not against her ethics however.
My second, I've had two dates with. The last, I asked if I could kiss her goodbye, and she turned her head at the last second, so I got cheek. I haven't given her a lot of money, but enough. Since last week, no response. She may get back to me, but I'm skeptical.
The scary- I had one late night meet where I was essentially robbed and put in danger. Won't go into details. Nothing happened, other than losing some money.
I've left out 2 dozen different bad or insulting exchanges, some costing money and some just dignity.
My take away from all of this- to be a sugar daddy, maybe you have to be a heartless jerk, at least until the Sugar Baby shows that she isn't. Some use the adage "No honey. No Money", and maybe that's what is necessary. It's a shame though. I am looking for sex, but I'm also looking for a connection with another human being, a friendship, and a possible romance. Obviously, escorts will only provide the first, but I'm still hoping for more. They constantly say that Sugaring is not prostitution, but it seems that what isn't prostitution is mostly theft. The idea of sugaring being dating, and developing a relationship, with the addition of financial help seems to be mostly smoke and mirrors.[/QUOTE]I learned from your post, so it was helpful.
Despite you not finding what you want, the fact that you got laid shows that seeking is somewhat useful.
Honestly I'm not sure what you can do based on your awful situation; limited free time, distance, limited budget, age.
Boy I feel so lucky I am not married.
The Good, the Bad, and the Pathetic
These are just my thoughts reading the post (I read it twice actually). No advice just thoughts. Based on everything described it might be best to stay with traditional service providers based on limitations you described. The problem is with all those limitations you have described you are also seeking an emotional connection (similar to a real relationship). Nothing wrong with wanting it all but that creates an impossible scenario to have everything and also maintain your marriage. The girls on SA typically will never be able to accommodate and check off all those boxes you seek. Someone in that position might consider:
Finding someone involved and or married that is in a similar position as yourself with the same wants and needs.
Finding a reliable provider that is available at midnight for your physical needs and also find a SA girl for virtual online arrangement that will fulfill you emotional needs (and there of tens of thousands of those available as we all know).
Whats that old Bob Seeger song? "You just can't have it all".
