Massage Parlor Reports

[QUOTE=Latex]...the ones that don't cut it or are close to retirement usually end up here in Chicago Apts or AMPS....[/QUOTE]
Anyone that travels certainly notices this same thing. I think they give out retirement brochures in other cities that go something like this:

Nobody want you anymore? Retire in Chicago!

Benefits
- Men pay big bucks for only handy.
- Saggy tits no problem; men sucky sucky anyway.
- Missing or black teeth no problem, men look other way.
- Too old or ugly; Chicago men never turn away, pay big bucks anyway.
- No money for fancy place, no problem, men cum dumpy salon.

Call 1-800-2old269 today

[QUOTE=Slim]Anyone that travels certainly notices this same thing. I think they give out retirement brochures in other cities that go something like this:

Nobody want you anymore? Retire in Chicago!

Benefits
- Men pay big bucks for only handy.
- Saggy tits no problem; men sucky sucky anyway.
- Missing or black teeth no problem, men look other way.
- Too old or ugly; Chicago men never turn away, pay big bucks anyway.
- No money for fancy place, no problem, men cum dumpy salon.

Call 1-800-2old269 today[/QUOTE]What is up with this? ! LOL where do you get those ideas from? Man chicago blows! I work and live in chicago (work in the loop/live on the southside). I'm moving to the south if what you say is true!

Does anyone know of any AMP's in the western burbs. If so, how would you classify them, such as worth going, waste of time, etc. Would like a place where a happy ending is possible.

[QUOTE=Scooter Pie7]I dropped by the massage school on Irving to TOFTT. I saw that under the towel shelf were 4inch stripper platform shoes and a box of plastic wrap. [/QUOTE]

A box of plastic wrap? Like Saran Wrap? yeesh. Note to self: Bring condoms.

[QUOTE=HappyGardener]A box of plastic wrap? Like Saran Wrap? yeesh. Note to self: Bring condoms.[/QUOTE]

I dunno, could be for those who like to dine @ the Y. I was with a provider once who wanted me to go down on her. I wasn't even thinkin' about goin' there as the odor was a little reminiscent of the fishery on Canal Street. I did my best to be diplomatic about it, but she kind of persisted and said "don't worry, I'll get some saran wrap." Gee, thanks.

This chick is a piece of work. She called me not too long ago and I ran over to see her as it had been awhile since our last visit. She answers the door and she's 5 months pregnant. Did she think I wasn't going to notice? Ah, man. The sh*t we go through for a little T&A.

At least they weren't offering tin foil.

I was in Phoenix, Arizona and visited an AMP there..the girl left the room, returned and started draping my pecker with saran wrap..i thought my dick was headed for the fridge with the leftover chicken wings.

Luckily I had a rubber in my wallet, all ok.

Saran Wrap is microporous and can let the S T Demons through.

[QUOTE=Illegal]Does anyone know of any AMP's in the western burbs. If so, how would you classify them, such as worth going, waste of time, etc. Would like a place where a happy ending is possible.[/QUOTE]There's lots of info on the Lombard board on west suburb AMP's including which ones to avoid. Judging from what I've seen posted there doesn't seem to be a sure thing but you might want to ask on that board for the latest info as well as check the archives.

Be safe & respecting,

Turkey Man

[QUOTE=Carpe Dium]She's a top Japanese/French mix porn star![/QUOTE]Her name's Maria Ozawa.

Gotta love a woman who slip-and-slides like that!

[QUOTE=Jesus Collins]Was is the hood and was dying for a massage from a CMT and a made an appoitnment with Olga. She must be the owner, late 30's early 40's. 5'7 and about 130 lbs. Semi attractive. But I like younger fare. They told me that appointment must be made. They do not allow walk ins or so they say. I was greeted by a super hot early 20's polish girl who said olga would be ready in a few. Shown to a huge room that doubled as the TS room. Was left un covered while she worked on my back. Pressure was insanely hard. Made a ton of contact with Baby Jesus while working on the theighs. On the flip, only my mid section was covered leaving Jesus and his 2 apostles free in the wind. Again a ton of contact with the family.

She grabs my hand as to rub my arms and litterally places it in a semi cupped position around her breast. I didn't act on it, I really had no idea as to what was going on with this massage.

Left uncovered on the TS.

All in all a decent massage. No where near as good as my favorite CMT at lisunia's or the gals a meggis but I did feel great the rest of the night.

I did endure the most teasing I have ever been thru. She exceeded that of the CMTS of Lisunia's which I thought couldn't be done. THe only differnce here is that it really lacked any senusality.

So

Looks: 6-7
Massage: 6-7..not a CMT by any means
Atmosphere: 6 ..clean but it was like wallking into 1988
Teasing ..I should get an award for endruing that with no payoff..I find it hard to believe no one has reached paydirt here.
Extras: N/A

If anyone knows the name of the blonde that greeted my, let me know..would reapeat with her.

I also had a session with Erika at lisunias over the weekend too.

PM for those details.[/QUOTE]


Jesus, I can't believe you've missed my earlier reports on this place.

I've been there a few times and had the biggest tease experiences of my life.

The last time I was there I had a girl actually running her fingers around (but not touching!!!!) Mr. Happy. She stopped and told me that I could take care of herself, but I said no thanks.

You're right about one thing, the girls that greet you there are major hotties, and then they disappear

New spa

[url]http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/ths/796336253.html[/url]

This is dangerously close to where I live. If it pans out I'll be broke in a month!

Tempted to TOFFT, but was wondering if anyone had been there.

[QUOTE=Luke Appling]New spa

[url]http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/ths/796336253.html[/url]

This is dangerously close to where I live. If it pans out I'll be broke in a month!

Tempted to TOFFT, but was wondering if anyone had been there.[/QUOTE]It appears that at least one person doesn't think too much of the place.
125 for a one hr massage?

[url]http://local.yahoo.com/info-38310173-ocean-air-health-fitness-spa-chicago[/url]

The difference between real "Johns" and fake "Tricks". Those who know don't tell and those who tell don't know. Thats why they don't get anything and thats what makes them fake "Tricks"

[QUOTE=Higuey Velez]It appears that at least one person doesn't think too much of the place.
125 for a one hr massage?

[url]http://local.yahoo.com/info-38310173-ocean-air-health-fitness-spa-chicago[/url][/QUOTE]

Harvest: Decided to make a stop by Harvest. Saw mixed reviews, but it's not too far from me. Paid .75 at the door for 1 hour (includes extra $10 for TS) with Papasan. He gestured for a slightly older woman to come over. Upfront she appeared fairly attractive. She had a nice rack. Probably mid-40's. I prefer younger, but really needed a good massage either way. No play on the TS. Massage was very good though. She was a bit too heavy for that "walking on the back" thing. Thought she was going to break my knee caps from the back. Massage got more sensual on the flip. She even slips her hands by the boys a couple times. I really wasn't turned on by her, but she started working me up a bit. In the end, she quickly squeezed the little head and playfully told me to do it myself. She was testing me out - and I could have gotten her to finish up, but didn't think she was worth the extra effort. Went back and forth for a quick sec - and then I just said n/m and left. I was good with that.

Rose: I was pretty worked up after Harvest, so I jumped on the #9 and decided to hit Rose. Went in and saw who I think was Wi Wi, but Mamasan gave me Connie (Wi Wi was assigned to the monger before me). Paid the .65 for the hour. Connie was cute little spinner with great personality. I got some good mileage from Angel my last time there, but finally experienced the "tease" that I've read about here so much at Rose. Connie provided me with one of the best and most sensual massages I've had in a while. Awesome personality - great conversation. Very playful. Finished up with a great TS in which used only her hands - no sponge - even in my ass. Everything seemed so perfect, I thought I might have the same luck I had with Angel. Should have known... When I put out my feelers, she quickly (but happily) told me no - "she never does that". I knew that might end up being the case based on reports, but she had me there for a minute. I tried as hard as I could, but no luck. Oh well... Can't wait to read the first "Connie breakthrough" story on here! (PM me if you have...would love to know the secret). Still, I'd go back to her for a some legit stress relief. Also want to try Mae - since I hear that she and Angel have a similar bedside manor. :-)

Any places you recommend for a massage with latina girls??? Does not have to provide extras. Also anyone know of Albanian girls that work at a massage place??

[QUOTE=Higuey Velez]It appears that at least one person doesn't think too much of the place.
125 for a one hr massage??
[url]http://local.yahoo.com/info-38310173-ocean-air-health-fitness-spa-chicago[/url][/QUOTE]


This place was talked about already, maybe they've moved. Same general vibe..rip joint.

I think there was some guy associated with the place who, a few months ago, posted a fairly pumped up review of the place. I had heard from several that it was a complete rip off, sounds about the same.