Massage Parlor Reports

Bruh, you really need to head out to McClean and go see Bella for a refresher. It's criminal that you don't have her in your HOF. Her teddies are literally perfection!

[QUOTE=FrankDigitola;6583542]At some point in our existence as a species, some schmuck who fancies himself a philosopher came up with the phrase "The customer is always right". This was an absolutely devastating development in humankind's history as many of our directionless sheep bought into this idea and began behaving as such. As you and I both know though, the customer oftentimes is incorrect. In many cases, the aforementioned customer is also a steamy pile of jackal manure.

A group of pals and I made our way to Sweet Water Tavern for drinks and a delicious dinner last night. This restaurant was a frequent destination of ours pre-pandemic and I would often go to 8303 to attain the full belly, empty testicles euphoria that we all know and love. Since I haven't been there in so long I decide to pay a visit. The door opens and when I look behind it there's a Chinese, late 40's something named Mimi, with absolutely jumbo teddies spilling out of her dress. I recreate the Tiger Woods putt celebration meme in my head but not physically because I'm not a tool. I'm led to the room, pay the house fee and then hit the table. Mimi comes into the room and begins to give me a pretty good massage. After about 10 minutes though, there's a chime at the door. Another patron has arrived and the visit takes a turn for the worse.

The other masseuse working, Lisa, was apparently tied up and Mimi left out to answer the door. I hear another door open and close before the front door, followed by Chinese chatter. Said patron, who I have not referred to as "brah", because he could never be my brah as he is a self absorbed pickle jar full of rat piss, ends up seeing both women because of this kerfuffle. Mimi sends him off to the room with Lisa then returns to the room with me. We begin to hear the other dude raise his voice, going full Karen. I hear "No. I want you out of here. I want the other girl. " amongst other pretentious ramblings. Mimi leaves out to investigate and all I hear is his incessant "No, no, no" followed by a defeated "okay sir".

Lisa comes into the room in Mimi's stead. Her torso is flatter than my high school math teacher's tires the year he failed some of the brahs from the football team. She is however much cuter and younger looking. She apologizes and says she's going to finish. I tell her that everything is cool and that she is very beautiful. I'm both being nice and exaggerating. She proceeds to give me a pretty good massage. We flirt a lot and she laughs at my jokes. I'm having a nice time considering what went down.

Mimi made quick work of the Karen and he was leaving while Lisa was tickling my acorns and asking how much I was going to tip her. I told her I only wanted a Hugh Jackman and she asked me if I wanted to bang. I declined while simultaneously reaching up her skirt and grabbing what was surprisingly a nice, jiggly, meaty booty. It was so pleasant to the touch I was a tad startled. Mimi came to the door and checked in with some indecipherable Chinese. It is at this point that I decided to go big air. I asked Lisa to call Mimi into the room and she complied. Once in she apologized for the earlier inconvenience. I assure her that the apologies are unnecessary, but that I have a different problem. "I have fallen in love with two women in one night and now I don't know what to do. " This joke was a success and laughs were had. I ask if I can pay the difference for 30 minutes of 4 hand so that they can both join the finish. They agree to the finish for tips but declined to extra house due to the Karen incident. Shoutout to them for customer service.

Four hand was the absolute last thing I cared about. My main concern was getting to Mimi's teds. They both agreed to pop their teddies out. Lisa's were okay. Mimi flopped hers out and they were a marvelous, meaty sight. As per usual, your Google search for comparison is "Anri Okita JAV". Anri is 5'6". If you imagine what those teddies you see in Google images would look like on a 4'11" Chinese 48 year old with a cat face, then you have Mimi. Reaching up both skirts reveals that neither of them had on panties. Mimi's ass is as unremarkable as Lisa's teddies.

They take turns tugging me and both had good technique. I'm squeezing thick teddies and jiggling meaty ass as they stroke away and rub oil all over my balls. I'm having too much fun and I'm not paying attention to finishing. Mimi makes her way down to Jr. And starts smacking her teddies with him. I ask for the ted bang and she gives it to me. Lisa caresses and scratches me all over my chest and shoulders. I haven't been paying an iota of attention to her so I take a break from my ted gaze, look at her and tell her that she's beautiful. I'm harder than the Valkyrie boss fights in God of War and before long I shoot Super Saiyan ropes all over this poor woman's teds and neck. 7 house, 7 to each of them.

I got dressed and they returned to the room to refresh it. I was given a water bottle and a big hug by both of them. I asked if I could come back to see them again. Mimi said and I quote "Yes. Next time you should fuck us. " This reply sufficiently sent me to my car with a boner. But my fresh boner and water bottle were not the only thing I took with me to my car. I also carried a conundrum. The entitled patron who shared 8303 with me, although briefly, annoyed me greatly. His stunt was so maddening that I wished I were Guile from Street Fighter so that I could Flash Kick him across the forehead. His stunt however was the vehicle by which I had a soul sapping, four hand pop with handfuls of meaty T&A. So is it "Screw you" or "Thank you"? I don't know. All I know is that it's update time.

Frankie Digitola Big Teddies Hall of Fame.

1. Kiko at Diamond Flash Spa. Best massage in the DMV. Gorgeous teddies. Google "Audreysimone Monika Vapes". That's what Kiko's teddies look like.

2. Amanda at Queen Spa. Playful, firecracker Chinese provider. "Nene Tanaka jjda-024" is your Google search. Teddies look like those on the cover with long, thick nipples.

3. Tara. Thai legend. If you Google "Seana Rae definefetish" her and Tara have very similar bodies, but Tara's teddies are firmer with thicker nipples. Second biggest teds in the HOF.

4. Lily. Early 30's Chinese girl at CiCi Oriental Spa in Fredericksburg. Google "Gianna Michaels dress and heels". That balcony photo shoot is what Lily's body looks like, with less booty. Gorgeous teddies.

5. Mimi at 8303. Late 40's something Chinese provider. Teddies like Anri Okita. Third biggest. 8303 used to be a revolving door. Hopefully she sticks around.

6. Marianna. 50 something Ukrainian BBW in Silver Spring. Google "Porche Dali these tits'll knock ya out" (cringe I know), for her body type. Her teddies although being around the same size, are much nicer. Google "SPRD-632 Horikawa Nami" for nipple appearance and placement. Best edge tugger in the DMV.

7. Apple. Thick, Thai indy. Google "Codi Vore". Apple looks like that with much less of a tummy.

8. Nikki. Thai indy and owner of the biggest teddies in the HOF. Google "Ryan Smiles pawged" and look at the pics of her in the teal bathing suit. Now Google "my_vice_is_back nudes" and imagine those teddies with thicker nipples on the Ryan Smiles body and you have Nikki.

9. Vandara. Medium build, 50 something Thai indy with teds similar to Tomoko Kamisaka. Second best massage in the HOF.

Almost back to 10 brahs.[/QUOTE]

So I just was tired of AMPs and wanted to try a Latina location. I kept seeing ads for the DMV providers and decided on Luna since Kayla was supposed to be gone (turns out she's still around). I like older women anyhow and she doesn't hide that she is mature. She's in Alexandria proper at a regular spa (not with Magi, Kayla etc), so she has "regular" spa pricing of $120. FHOH is too far for me, as it was already a hike to get to Luna so I opted to go. Luna has intentionally salt and pepper hair, which was long. Something I like at the least. Nice face, and is likely in 50's. She was kind, able to chit chat without it being awkward, and had a real good massage technique that actually was helpful. She is a little plump, but wears it well, and has both a nice bottom and nice Ds. I found her personality was warm and I enjoyed my time. Also, she speaks English well, and we had no problem communicating. On the flip, before I said anything, she was firm that only the standard NOVA is offered, and she got down to lace undies. I just needed nurturing instead and went for cuddles, which she made feel natural. Her hands were ever so slightly sandpapery, but that also made her light touch better somehow. Sorry guys if I go for a different ending than most seem to go for, but I left nurtured and maybe this report'll help someone. I tipped. 5, seemed fine.

I haven't seen much on Magi, Cielo, and Alexis, in this forum and wondered if anyone had more intel on looks and personality? A Google review said Kiara is not good, but I have no idea if it's trustworthy. I think I will one day have to go to FHOH, but I fear it's a place you have to go more than once in order to open up a NOVA sort of experience.

Is pure fucking GOLD. Thank you, Sir. .

[QUOTE=FrankDigitola;6583542]At some point in our existence as a species, some schmuck who fancies himself a philosopher came up with the phrase "The customer is always right". This was an absolutely devastating development in humankind's history as many of our directionless sheep bought into this idea and began behaving as such. As you and I both know though, the customer oftentimes is incorrect. In many cases, the aforementioned customer is also a steamy pile of jackal manure.

A group of pals and I made our way to Sweet Water Tavern for drinks and a delicious dinner last night. This restaurant was a frequent destination of ours pre-pandemic and I would often go to 8303 to attain the full belly, empty testicles euphoria that we all know and love. Since I haven't been there in so long I decide to pay a visit. The door opens and when I look behind it there's a Chinese, late 40's something named Mimi, with absolutely jumbo teddies spilling out of her dress. I recreate the Tiger Woods putt celebration meme in my head but not physically because I'm not a tool. I'm led to the room, pay the house fee and then hit the table. Mimi comes into the room and begins to give me a pretty good massage. After about 10 minutes though, there's a chime at the door. Another patron has arrived and the visit takes a turn for the worse.

The other masseuse working, Lisa, was apparently tied up and Mimi left out to answer the door. I hear another door open and close before the front door, followed by Chinese chatter. Said patron, who I have not referred to as "brah", because he could never be my brah as he is a self absorbed pickle jar full of rat piss, ends up seeing both women because of this kerfuffle. Mimi sends him off to the room with Lisa then returns to the room with me. We begin to hear the other dude raise his voice, going full Karen. I hear "No. I want you out of here. I want the other girl. " amongst other pretentious ramblings. Mimi leaves out to investigate and all I hear is his incessant "No, no, no" followed by a defeated "okay sir".

Lisa comes into the room in Mimi's stead. Her torso is flatter than my high school math teacher's tires the year he failed some of the brahs from the football team. She is however much cuter and younger looking. She apologizes and says she's going to finish. I tell her that everything is cool and that she is very beautiful. I'm both being nice and exaggerating. She proceeds to give me a pretty good massage. We flirt a lot and she laughs at my jokes. I'm having a nice time considering what went down.

Mimi made quick work of the Karen and he was leaving while Lisa was tickling my acorns and asking how much I was going to tip her. I told her I only wanted a Hugh Jackman and she asked me if I wanted to bang. I declined while simultaneously reaching up her skirt and grabbing what was surprisingly a nice, jiggly, meaty booty. It was so pleasant to the touch I was a tad startled. Mimi came to the door and checked in with some indecipherable Chinese. It is at this point that I decided to go big air. I asked Lisa to call Mimi into the room and she complied. Once in she apologized for the earlier inconvenience. I assure her that the apologies are unnecessary, but that I have a different problem. "I have fallen in love with two women in one night and now I don't know what to do. " This joke was a success and laughs were had. I ask if I can pay the difference for 30 minutes of 4 hand so that they can both join the finish. They agree to the finish for tips but declined to extra house due to the Karen incident. Shoutout to them for customer service.

Four hand was the absolute last thing I cared about. My main concern was getting to Mimi's teds. They both agreed to pop their teddies out. Lisa's were okay. Mimi flopped hers out and they were a marvelous, meaty sight. As per usual, your Google search for comparison is "Anri Okita JAV". Anri is 5'6". If you imagine what those teddies you see in Google images would look like on a 4'11" Chinese 48 year old with a cat face, then you have Mimi. Reaching up both skirts reveals that neither of them had on panties. Mimi's ass is as unremarkable as Lisa's teddies.

They take turns tugging me and both had good technique. I'm squeezing thick teddies and jiggling meaty ass as they stroke away and rub oil all over my balls. I'm having too much fun and I'm not paying attention to finishing. Mimi makes her way down to Jr. And starts smacking her teddies with him. I ask for the ted bang and she gives it to me. Lisa caresses and scratches me all over my chest and shoulders. I haven't been paying an iota of attention to her so I take a break from my ted gaze, look at her and tell her that she's beautiful. I'm harder than the Valkyrie boss fights in God of War and before long I shoot Super Saiyan ropes all over this poor woman's teds and neck. 7 house, 7 to each of them.

I got dressed and they returned to the room to refresh it. I was given a water bottle and a big hug by both of them. I asked if I could come back to see them again. Mimi said and I quote "Yes. Next time you should fuck us. " This reply sufficiently sent me to my car with a boner. But my fresh boner and water bottle were not the only thing I took with me to my car. I also carried a conundrum. The entitled patron who shared 8303 with me, although briefly, annoyed me greatly. His stunt was so maddening that I wished I were Guile from Street Fighter so that I could Flash Kick him across the forehead. His stunt however was the vehicle by which I had a soul sapping, four hand pop with handfuls of meaty T&A. So is it "Screw you" or "Thank you"? I don't know. All I know is that it's update time.

Frankie Digitola Big Teddies Hall of Fame.

1. Kiko at Diamond Flash Spa. Best massage in the DMV. Gorgeous teddies. Google "Audreysimone Monika Vapes". That's what Kiko's teddies look like.

2. Amanda at Queen Spa. Playful, firecracker Chinese provider. "Nene Tanaka jjda-024" is your Google search. Teddies look like those on the cover with long, thick nipples.

3. Tara. Thai legend. If you Google "Seana Rae definefetish" her and Tara have very similar bodies, but Tara's teddies are firmer with thicker nipples. Second biggest teds in the HOF.

4. Lily. Early 30's Chinese girl at CiCi Oriental Spa in Fredericksburg. Google "Gianna Michaels dress and heels". That balcony photo shoot is what Lily's body looks like, with less booty. Gorgeous teddies.

5. Mimi at 8303. Late 40's something Chinese provider. Teddies like Anri Okita. Third biggest. 8303 used to be a revolving door. Hopefully she sticks around.

6. Marianna. 50 something Ukrainian BBW in Silver Spring. Google "Porche Dali these tits'll knock ya out" (cringe I know), for her body type. Her teddies although being around the same size, are much nicer. Google "SPRD-632 Horikawa Nami" for nipple appearance and placement. Best edge tugger in the DMV.

7. Apple. Thick, Thai indy. Google "Codi Vore". Apple looks like that with much less of a tummy.

8. Nikki. Thai indy and owner of the biggest teddies in the HOF. Google "Ryan Smiles pawged" and look at the pics of her in the teal bathing suit. Now Google "my_vice_is_back nudes" and imagine those teddies with thicker nipples on the Ryan Smiles body and you have Nikki.

9. Vandara. Medium build, 50 something Thai indy with teds similar to Tomoko Kamisaka. Second best massage in the HOF.

Almost back to 10 brahs.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=FourNick8;6591452]LOL. I hope she changed them after my visit and before yours.[/QUOTE]Thanks Nick for the mental visual. I need another shower.

[QUOTE=MetalHead63;6536320]I'm from Vab area, spending a couple of days in Winchester next week. AMPs any good or same as the rest?[/QUOTE]Any luck with finding a good provider?

Man, Haydee's could so be a hit.

Latina Massage Place, perfectly outfitted like an AMP except no table shower.

I drew "Anna" Petite and fit looking MILF. Early 40's, attractive.

Went for 30. And 5 minutes in, she is reaching under. I flipped and try to negotiate for a BJ. No. Taking the matching yoga set off? No. Touching her body? No. Offered a HJ for. 6. I said No and flipped back over and asked her to just massage me.

I got a pretty nice, not CMT level rub for the full 30 minutes and left.

Oh well.

[QUOTE=InternNew;6588902]I have been a long time lurker but never tried any AMPs, thanks to you I have taken courage to visit the One. Your description was on point and I had a good time. Would love to see few more cute woman like Minnie or Apple, if any one has any suggestions.[/QUOTE]So, this is was on a fine Monday evening. I was a bit worked up and needed release, as always I start to play myself but came across the post in here. I have never visited any kind of MP or ACS before, I told to myself why not today, got dressed and started driving to the One. Collected some cash on the way and reached to the place but I wasn't sure if it's the right address. I called them to confirm before I got upstairs. The door was locked and I was waiting for 5-7 minutes after knocking, meanwhile some other guy shows up and he sees me and walks back outside to his car. After a couple of minutes Apple opened the door and walked me into the room where I said it was my first time and I heard good things about the place. She asked if I wanted TS, I said yes and she handed me the towel.

After I undressed completely she walked me to the TS and asked me to take the towel off. I am super nervous and said I didn't have anything under, she replied "yes, this is the shower" and took the towel off. Gave me a mouth wash and a nice shower. She then dried me off and took me back to the room. She then asked me to lay down and gave me a nice massage, cracked all my bones. Then she whispered something in my ear and went out.

A couple or minutes later, another woman walked in. She is young and cute. She asked me what I wanted, I said a BJ and she quoted her amount, I left the tip on a shelf and got undressed, she slowly rubbed her body against mine, and sucked my nipples. I was so aroused, I asked her to come up and sucked her tits. As the original post described, she has great boobs but an ok ass (and I like it). She then went down and put a crown on me, and started sucking. I then asked her to turn around for some 69. I slapped lightly on her ass and said "how about we do everything" And added a bit more to the tip. She then hoped on me and rode me CG and RCG. She then tapped me to stand up and she laid down for some Mish, I got to play and suck on her teets. Then I ask her to get up and go down on her knees. And damn she started to suck me good. A minute later I clenched and finished inside the crown. She looked at it and said "Ah, soo much" surprised. She then cleaned me up and helped me put my clothes on while talking about each other a bit.

On the way back, she called Apple and had a quick talk for a sec where she said she will service me next time, which is another story, and squeezed my butt saying "you are cute" and sent me outside. And I was back at the place very shortly after but it's a story for another day.

I know I haven't tried any place else to compare, would be open to suggestions from others, may be latin or thai next time? But I think I will return here regularly.

Made appt with Grace for the second time and she remembers me. I was shocked but yeah she is definitely in her 50's but still sexy to me. After the massage she started to tease me and licked all over my body and kissed both of my butt cheeks LOL she told me to turn and asked if I wanted to fuck her. I was surprised but declined (didn't know she did FS) and proceeded to a CBJ. She stripped down completely naked and gave me a very enthusiastic blow but I just can't get off with a hat on. She took off the hat and started to give me a HJ while sucking on my nipples. I exploded everywhere while her tight naked body was next to mine. I will def repeat with her.

[QUOTE=Iohannes1971;6576854]I have not been out to get a massage in a while. I felt like I played it out. I checked the board to see what was going on and the reports of Aqua caught my eye. I figured I would go in for one more. Well, I may be back in the business. I had a really great time. It was the most enjoyable experience I have had, maybe ever. The place is amazing. It is, by far, the nicest spa in the area. It is so very well done.

I was met by Julie. I had a shower before going so I skipped the steam and shower at the beginning. I decided on an hour because I thought Julie was good looking. I need to caveat up front that I like older ladies, and especially with meat on their bones. Julie was wearing a schoolgirl outfit today.

The massage was good. It was not great but really good. She did longer strokes, which I like. Through the normal routine of letting her know I was interested in some more, the panties came down. We settled on 1. 2 for DATY, 69, and camel slide. She does have a little belly but I don't mind it at all. She was great. I enjoyed it a lot. I ended with the steam and shower. I feel great after.

Now, as for other ladies, there are two every day. Julie said Saturday is two Thai ladies. My schedule does not allow a Saturday visit so someone else will have to report back on that.

I did see another lady today that is fat. There is no other way to put it. She had short hair and was fat. I didn't get her name. Julie said to ask for Sarah next time. Sarah, by Julie's description is a tall, young Korean girl. I didn't get her age or her schedule.

Again, the place is fantastic. I spent 2 total and considered tipping more because of the atmosphere, the amenities, and the service. I highly recommend checking it out.[/QUOTE]Thanks to the forum for reporting on Aqua. I had a Saturday dream there with a Thai prover calling herself Sue. It was the best AMP dream I have had in along time. Very good, table shower, massage, lovely body, nursing, BBBJ. The place could be at a Four Seasons Hotel.

[QUOTE=DeeMoney23;6593375]Bruh, you really need to head out to McClean and go see Bella for a refresher. It's criminal that you don't have her in your HOF. Her teddies are literally perfection![/QUOTE]Any info for the spa? Feel free to PM if you'd rather keep it a secret. Can share info about Richmond nova MD Philly and Nj.

[QUOTE=ItsAllGreat570;6594124]Choctaw- mid 30's medium build. Unattractive face but enthusiastic finish. Weird massage techniques. Top came up. 30 min. 4/. 4.

Hockett- attractive mid 30's maybe but thin build. Good massage jackhammer but understood the assignment once given direction.

Sheetz- this old lady sucks. She has shorted me on time twice now saying something is broken amd the owner is coming. She gives a light massage for 5 minutes then offers FS for $$. I don't pay her more than $. 2. They advertise new girls and table shower but it's never a new girl and the shower never works (I know the ads lie but hopefully this old lady leaves soon).[/QUOTE]Are these the names for providers or locations? In either case, more information about where to find or avoid them would be helpful.

[QUOTE=ItsAllGreat570;6594124]Choctaw- mid 30's medium build. Unattractive face but enthusiastic finish. Weird massage techniques. Top came up. 30 min. 4/. 4.

Hockett- attractive mid 30's maybe but thin build. Good massage jackhammer but understood the assignment once given direction.

Sheetz- this old lady sucks. She has shorted me on time twice now saying something is broken amd the owner is coming. She gives a light massage for 5 minutes then offers FS for $$. I don't pay her more than $. 2. They advertise new girls and table shower but it's never a new girl and the shower never works (I know the ads lie but hopefully this old lady leaves soon).[/QUOTE]Sheetz? What kind of service did you expect at a gas station?

[QUOTE=RickNva;6544792]I dreamt of a place in Woodbridge that I see from the road almost every day but never visited. Dreaming research showed reviews over a year ago so basically I was TOFTT.

Arriving at ZY massage, in my dream, I met a girl called Eva, late 30's to mid 40's, typical Chinese body, okay, maybe a bit more butt than usual, strong shapely thighs. Very friendly and was comfortable immediately.

I dreamt of getting quality massage on back, shoulders and legs. Good hard one that feels like muscles were worked hours later. Good tired but relaxed feeling. She was okay with OTC touching after asking for her consent. Snuck in some UTC without resistance and felt trimmed kitty.

I assumed it was going to end as legit massage but through hand motions, got my consent for HJ / HE. Not the typical, mechanical stroking by most Asian providers. She was awesome.[/QUOTE]I finally got to hit up ZY today in Woodbridge, it's off of Telegraph Road by the Ikea. I figured it's Sunday so the auto shop next to this AMP is closed without anyone loitering around the front, which was good for discretion. And it was raining so I figured this place wasn't going to be busy. As I walked in (no second door to ring the bell, you enter into the spa directly from the outside), another monger was walking out. Bella greeted me and led me to the room, it's 50 for a half hour and 70 for the hour (I went for the half hour to feel this place out). Don't know if they have any table shower.

Bella was pretty good looking for a Chinese provider that work in this part of the DC area. Normally we are stuck with overweight, old looking Asian grannies in the DC area. I could not tell Bella's body features as she wore a black form fitting dress but I didn't see any bulging of the belly, etc.

Massage skills were ok, about 10 to 12 minutes of actual massage, medium pressure, with baby oil. I flipped and I just let her do a simple HJ, but with edging, which she knew exactly how to prolong the sensation. Sje did a good job just stroking around the tip and then long strokes, and held back when I asked her to slow down so I wouldn't bust a nut early. With a few minutes left in my session, I blasted a big nut, where she kept doing her slow to medium stroke and not jackhammer me. I tipped 50 and was on my way.

Two things about this place: 1.) The door chimed about 3 times during my session, so they seemed to be busy even on the weekends. 2.) A male Karen was bitching to one of the other ladies as he entered, complaining abut wanting his money back and causing a scene in the lobby. I did not get the whole gist of what was going on but he seemed upset about something that really was not any of the providers' fault.

Was exploring your forums and meant to post in my home town. These parlors are near Richmond. And they are nicknames / street names. I've already reported it so it can be deleted from here and avoid anymore confusion. Again, my apologies!

I know KK or KayKay is probably well reviewed on here but it's hard to find because you can't search for less than 3 letters.

So how is her actual Thai massage skills?

Does she normally have a pedicure. Might be a weird question but it's important to me.

Thanks.