"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

Thanks for all the input guys.

It is interesting how many of us are in the same boat. The take home message for guys who aren't in the Sugar Bowl is.to read this blog before getting tied down, right?

The facts of life are twofold :

1) Genetics / hormones work against partnering for life

2) even the most exciting relationship / partner gets stale as the years wear on.

And the most interesting sentiment noted from our entries in general is that men are looking for more intimacy than they are getting at home. Contrary to popular opinion about players just wanting to score more sex, we are seeking love and affection, that meaningfulness to our relationships. The girls in the bowl, particularly the under 30 crowd, do not want intimacy. They are seeking excitement, new experiences, money, consumer goods, and are avoiding being tied down. What a reversal is it not?

[I]"And the most interesting sentiment noted from our entries in general is that men are looking for more intimacy than they are getting at home. Contrary to popular opinion about players just wanting to score more sex, we are seeking love and affection, that meaningfulness to our relationships. The girls in the bowl, particularly the under 30 crowd, do not want intimacy. They are seeking excitement, new experiences, money, consumer goods, and are avoiding being tied down. What a reversal is it not?"[/I]

Thanks for the efforts here, Nando. I can't say I'm surprised by the results. It's an issue I've been battling with almost my entire time in the club, once I got past the astonishment that I could get a 20 yo into bed with me in the first place!

I am sitting at home with a bit of free time on my hands, unfortunately, since a baby I was going to meet this morning for coffee is apparently standing me up, again! This will be the last time I try and set something up with her, although she is so totally my type that I am crying just a little as I type this, but my new mantra for 2013 is "Onward." I am curious to hear, if I ever do, what her excuse is for not confirming with me this morning. I finally got smart and tell all new POTs that I will not head to our meeting place, in this case 30 mins away, unless I hear from them in the morning that we are still a "go."

The whole thing has made me think back on the many, and creative, excuses I have gotten from babies for missing their appointments. One of the more outlandish ones was "Sorry, but my dad got arrested for something really bad, and I had to go and bail him out"! Needless to say, there was no second meeting. I have also been told "I got into a serious car crash. I'll get in touch when I get out of the hospital." And this from a baby who was at the same moment logged into SA, which I could see since I also was. I guess she was typing using a pencil in her teeth!

So, I put the question to the brotherhood: what are some of the most outlandish, unbelievable excuses you have gotten for missing a rendezvous?

Onward,

Scott

I think I've been amazingly lucky on this (knocking on wood.) I've only been stood up a couple times, and both times the girl texted me within a few minutes of the appointed time to apologize. One was a car breakdown, the other admitted to falling asleep. Shit happens; I'm not going to hold life's honest accidents against someone, but if I smell the stench of burning BS they won't get another chance.

I've had more that I wish hadn't showed up! . One that demonstrated the power of careful picture cropping (she didn't look large in the pic but when she showed up in was obvious she shopped for clothes in the Camping Equipment section at Dick's.) One that had THE nasal, whiny, fingernails-on-chalkboard voice from hell. And several that the IQ of an old BodArk fencepost.

Interesting topics. What I like about this forum is that we're able to have a bit of self-awareness about ourselves.

The topic is timely for me because I might be back out in the market again for a new SB (s). I don't know yet.

My Escort Baby is in the wind. I haven't heard from her since before Christmas. She hasn't posted any new ads either to my knowledge. But I'm not too surprised by this and never really had much expectations for her.

I met up with the Asian College baby right before Christmas and we actually had a great M&G. We got along very well and she kept saying how surprised she that it was going so well. However at the very end of the date, she said she couldn't go through with an "arrangement". She wanted to tell me earlier supposedly but I was already in traffic on the way. But I think the real reason is, she didn't need the money anymore. A day before our meetup, her family invited her back to Korea to stay for a month during her school break. So even though we got along, she didn't need the money bad enough anymore to sleep with an older guy she just met. That said, since we did get along so well, I have a feeling she may be open again toward an arrangement a few months from now when she has money problems again.

And then there's my ATF. As mentioned earlier, we had an issue where she didn't give me any honey on our date after I gave her all that sugar. It was pretty much resolved, but then a week or two later I said I wouldn't be giving her "extra" cash and stuff until we got the sex / intimacy back on track. However the ultimatum was poorly timed since apparently she was going through a lot of other stuff too (when are they not?). So she got upset and wanted to end the arrangement. The problem is she actually had some feelings for me, which actually complicated a lot of things. Neither one of us knew exactly where the boundaries of our arrangement and friendship were. And she actually did have some feelings for me because even though our arrangement currently is over, we're still talking / txting everyday. She still wants to be friends and spend time together occasionally, but doesn't want an actual arrangement anymore. It's hard to say where things are going to go from here. Things might just eventually fizzle out or it could morph into a real relationship.

So these recent experiences did prompt me to sit back and think, The last couple of months I've spent a lot of time, energy, and money on sugar babies that is being taken away from the SO. If I was trying to truly fix my marriage, I wouldn't be doing this. I'm not trying to fix my marriage, I'm just trying to make it survivable. Like others have stated, the passion is gone from my marriage. My SO looked great when she was younger, but she was always lazy when it came to exercise. So when the kids came, it took a toll on her body which she never bothered to work on. Also she became a more angrier person over the years, which turned me off to her. But still, we do have a pretty good partnership and great kids, so I need to find a way to make it work for now. The sugar world has been a way for me to be content in my current marriage situation.

That said, another problem lately is that the better the sex has been getting in the sugar world, the frequency of the sex I'm having with the SO has gone down. My SO just lies there, never does oral, and etc. So it's hard to get up the desire for her compared to HYBs who go at it like sex fiends and more open to trying new things. I need to fix this though because this may end up being my undoing. Sex droughts with an SO like this can clue them in that an affair might be going on.

So without a doubt, while the sugar world is helping me survive the marriage, it is damaging my relationship with my SO. But I'm okay with this because my SO stopped trying to fix / improve our relationship long ago. So I've finally given up as well.

As for being stood-up, I've never been stood-up for a M&G. Primarily because I always confirm the morning of and then when I'm literally heading out the door to meet the person. So I've had cancellations, but I've never been stood-up because usually I catch it before hand. I tend to see 19-22 year-olds and girls at that age are notoriously flaky, so I know to always double confirm. Also some girls may just get too nervous, so I like to give them an opt-out before I waste my time driving and waiting.

Good information to share and timing is good as usual. Just got stood up today in fact. SB was one of my backups and we have met several times in the FC. She is always fun but not as passionate as my ATF. She is heading out of town soon for good and wanted to meet a few more times before she left. Texted me several times over the last week trying to schedule something and I finally agreed to yesterday. She was good with it the night before, confirmed all was still good arounf noon the day of the meeting, then tells me at 3:45 that she can't make the 4:30 meeting. Luckily I hadn't yet booked the room. I didn't ask for the excuse because they are almost always lame and I suspect that she overbooked because she wanted to score one final sugar payoff for sure before leaving town.

The most common reason I get from a SB is that she has her monthly visitor. Hard to argue that one. I like DATY way too much to play when the visitor is in town, so I appreciate the honesty when that happens.

We all know this isn't a perfect hobby. The noshows are just another price we pay to play.

Alias

" The sugar world has been a way for me to be content in my current marriage situation." John G Smith.

This my friends, is the common thread in this world. I have counseled extensively trying to find the magic answer for my discontent, and no one has it. The bottom line is to suck it up and try to make the most of a less than perfect situation or change it up. Divorce is so radical but perhaps the best long term solution because one can be free to pursue happiness openly instead of on the down low. But. , and there are lots of buts. Money, children, society, job are all impacted, but the impact is greater still if you are caught in flagrente dilicto (sic?) There is a great deal of energy spent planning a tryst. 1st finding a POT, meeting and wooing her, setting up the FC, arranging the $$$ under the radar, hitting the right blend of communication and interaction between NSA vs emotional attachment. Whew! It's exhausting! If we all spend as much time and energy on our legit endeavors we would be happily married kings of industry.

Soooo, to play or not to play, that is the question. And since you are reading this you have chosen to play. I must say, I really like the energy of the Sugar Bowl. It is exciting and fun as hell. Maybe the danger adds that extra zing to life. And nothing is better than popping a HCB SB (or whatever your choice of treat is ). I have happily settled down with one SB so do not have the stories to tell like you entertaining Lotharios, but I enjoy hearing them immensely. I am pursuing emotional attachment instead of multifucking at the moment My SB is very reliable, always considerate, and a pleasure to be around. I love 20 somethings!

From the Las Vegas non-pro thread.

[QUOTE=Max899;1643663]I had another wonderful time with my UTR girl. She came over Saturday about 5pm. She let me take her to dinner afterward. She wanted Pizza and I was thinking the same thing. Total damage including pizza was 2.90. However 2.5 hours was given including dinner. She is amazingly sweet and nice, I can't get enough of her. I asked her what her thoughts were about a sugar daddy / sugar baby relationship were. She was non-committal. I suppose I should have expected that. What is the general thinking on converting a hot 21 yr old from a CG to a SB?[/QUOTE]I have been reading your thread quite a bit and decided to ask the same question here. Can you take an amazing CG that you connect with well and bring her into a SB role? I would love to hear your thoughts on this, or if you have tried and what the results were.

Thanks!

Max

[QUOTE=F Scott;1644838]*** The whole thing has made me think back on the many, and creative, excuses I have gotten from babies for missing their appointments. ***[/QUOTE]Scott, she know she can because she did. The fat and ugly ones don't play games.

Operator error here.

[QUOTE=Hernando;1645961]If we all spend as much time and energy on our legit endeavors we would be happily married kings of industry.[/QUOTE]I'd venture to say that for that sort of guys, the pursuit of that business throne *is* their sex. We pursue what we crave.

" Can you take an amazing CG that you connect with well and bring her into a SB role?" Max899.

Max, tread softly here. You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl. Whaaaat? I think Elvis or somebody said that. But my point is that she is imprinted into that lifestyle just like we are in the Sugar World. She is used to having multiple guys on tap for a larger payday than probably you are willing to give her, if she is halfway successful. A beautiful escort I once knew told me she earned $180, 000 / year running her ass off but still ____. Obviously your CG hasn't jumped at the bait you dangled so she wants the independence, money, and probably lack of intimacy she achieves with you and her other Johns. Just enjoy her when you are together and keep looking for a real SB to fill that role for you.

[QUOTE=Hernando; 1647015]" Can you take an amazing CG that you connect with well and bring her into a SB role?" Max899.

Max, tread softly here. You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl. Whaaaat? I think Elvis or somebody said that. But my point is that she is imprinted into that lifestyle just like we are in the Sugar World. She is used to having multiple guys on tap for a larger payday than probably you are willing to give her, if she is halfway successful. A beautiful escort I once knew told me she earned $180, 000 / year running her ass off but still ____. Obviously your CG hasn't jumped at the bait you dangled so she wants the independence, money, and probably lack of intimacy she achieves with you and her other Johns. Just enjoy her when you are together and keep looking for a real SB to fill that role for you.[/QUOTE]I totally agree with Nando on this one. There is a difference in intent in the mind of a CG vs an SB, and while I do not want to drag out the tired old debate about it all being prostitution, I would also argue that it is likely she has crossed the line, in her mind, and would be hard to "deprogram." Plus, if you did get her to agree to be your SB, I'm guessing access to the kitty would diminish. You know the old joke,"How do you stop having sex with your girlfriend? Marry her", or something like that. The Bowl is a lot of work, with uncertainty being a constant, as you know if you have read this thread. Even the most dependable SBs can become flighty from time to time. As Nando said, enjoy your special CG as often as you can. If you fill her dance card with regularity, what does it really matter what she does for a living? If the time together is as great as you say, why take the chance of fucking that up?

Onward,

Scott

The title we place on our relationship partners is irrelevant. The relevant factor in ANY relationship is if are we satisfied with it. What I read in the forum is a attempt to make one type of relationship perfect for all needs. That is not possible. What is possible is to discuss with our relationship partners our true needs. And to establish the boundaries needed for each party to feel satisfied and secure in the relationship. When that is done, the title of our partner does not matter. We joyfully provide the needs of our partner as long our partner provides the needs that we desire. The real problem is lack of honesty. We don't deal with or partners in a intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise honest manner. When we do that. When we are dishonest. We fail our partners and most of all we fail ourselves.

Subcmdr out!

I'm on my way to meet a pot SB right now, I'll let you know how it turns out.

Max

Guys I am new to this forum. I have spent quite some time in the Stripclub world and I am intriqued by the SD / SB option. I have been voraciously reading the reports on here and I am learning.

I have quite a few take out situations with strippers but that can lead to quite a bit of drama. I Have read about 1/4 of the way through and will continue to read it.

But I did have one small question. Do you bring a gift to the first meeting or M&G with a prospective SB?

If so what is considered an approriate gift? Something small I would think?

Thanks,

Revvo