Great post from years ago.
Was wasting time looking at old post and I thought this one worthy of bumping up.
[QUOTE=FreckleFreak;1346573]Variety. Life is full of variety. Everyones mileage may vary depending on who they are and who they meet. BF you make a great point below.
Providers have lives and they live it the way they want, good or bad or ugly or a combination. It's a choice but sometimes desperation makes them choose. Sometimes the circumstances are sad sometimes they are erotic. What difference does it make, it happens and thats the way it is. Luchi trys to save them. BF Deal wants the fantasy without any connection except for the time he has paid for. Chelli4me doesn't believe they can be friends without money involved. All of them are right because that is what they believe. Again their mileage varies, nothing more and definately nothing wrong. It's life.
I guess I will have to resolve myself to a lot of masterbation and psychoanalysis. Maybe I am the Don Quixiote of self service in this hobby. I have relationships with providers, past and current. I go to dinner, have drinks, talk about personal issues (both sides) and genuinely care. Not to all of them, to the ones I feel are actually wonderful human beings and I have developed a connection with. To many of you this is wrong. I don't do it for the free sex. It's been offered, but I have turned it down because of the feelings that are sometimes involved. It would be a sad world if people didn't connect because others saw it as wrong. We develop friendships in any business, hell it's mandatory in most businesses. Show me a good salesmen and tell me his best clients are not truely his friends. It's sad that some feel seeing a provider is like going to the dentist who uses laughing gas. Feels great during the filling and the nitrous oxide is flowing, but once it wears off and you have to pay the bill, reality sets in and it's time to get the hell out of dodge.
We all have ways in which our mileage varies. I like freckles. I like to watch. I think watching a woman in pleasure is hot, even if I am not the one providing the pleasure. I think being a swinger at times would be fun. I can distinguish sex from love and even if I don't love them, still love the sex. Sorry that this may bother many of you, but I think golden showers are strange. I once watched a guy pay $500 to a stripper to crap in a cup so he could eat it, and he did. To me that is strange. Not necessarily wrong, it just doesn't do it for me. That guy's mileage varies.
So I will, when possible, develop a relationship with a provider. Maybe I will live with one, marry one, die in the arms of one. Maybe I will love them or they will love me. We are hobbyists and they are providers, right? Wrong! They are people with feelings, cares, concerns, bad habits, sexuality, sadness and all the other things we are. We pay them so what. I pay my dentist for a service and never get a laugh, only bad gas.
FF.
PS. Some freckled women like me. Believe it or not.[/QUOTE]
Excellent points FF, but.
When you have a connection between 2 anonymous people, one of which is engaged in a technically illegal activity and the other in pursuit of that activity, it pays to be careful.
Back when I was in the swinger lifestyle, people often asked "What if you run into someone you know? " The answer was simple, since you're both caught you have a balance. Neither can out the other without outing themself.
However, giving your name and employment info puts you at risk and is not an effective screening method. It's quite easy to find and give an employer, name, phone number and extension. Take a trip to a trade show and you'll have dozens of prospects.
The trouble I see is that you can't be certain. You can't be certain that nothing is being written down. You can't be certain a roommate, boyfriend, pimp or anyone else won't get the info and use it against you. You can't be certain giving the info won't be something you'll regret.
I don't know the answer to providing a sure fire way to protect all parties, if I did I would be a billionaire working on my next project, a world wide freckles database.