Priest Solves Parrots' Problem!
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots,
But they only know to say one thing. '
'What do they say? ' the priest asked.
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun? '
'That's obscene! ' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment.
'You know, ' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying. That phrase. In no time. '
'Thank you, ' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution. '
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun? '
There was stunned silence.
Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
'Put the beads away, Frank,
Our prayers have been answered!
Accused Hooker Busted By Phony Member Of Force
[i]"-Undercover vice squad officers routinely come into contact with skeptical prostitutes wary that their prospective john may actually be a police officer. So, before discussing business, a hooker will often ask the purported sex-seeker to first expose himself, since that is a no-no for a cop."[/i]
[url]http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/cop-uses-rubber-penis-765432[/url]
In other news: [i]"Operation Hot Date."[/i]
[url]http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/craigslist-hooker-sweep-nets-28-women[/url]
Old phantom jet fighter pilot
OLD FIGHTER PILOT.
A ragged, old, derelict shuffled into a down and dirty bar. Stinking of
Whiskey and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano Player
Wanted"
Sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.
"I'd like to apply for the job," he said."I was an F-4E driver, flying
Out of Udorn back in ' Nam, but when they retired the Phantom all the
Thrill was gone,
And soon they cashed me in as well. I learned to play the piano at
AUSSIE-Club happy hours, so here I am."
The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it
Had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business was
Falling off.
So, why not give him a try. The seedy pilot staggered his way over to
The piano while several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his
Third bar of.
Music, every voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of
Soaring music unlike anything heard in the bar before. When he finished
There wasn't.
A dry eye in the place.
The bartender took the old fighter pilot a beer and asked him the name
Of the song he had just played?
It's called "Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I'm Going Balls To The Wall For
You" he said. After a long pull from the beer, leaving it empty, he
Said "I wrote it myself."
The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano player
Just went on into a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that
Had the place jumping.
After he finished, the fighter pilot acknowledged the applause, downed
A second proffered mug, and told the crowd the song was called,"Big
Boobs Make My.
Afterburner Light."
He then launched into another mesmerizing song and everyone in the room
Was enthralled. He announced that it was the latest rendition of his
Song,
"Spread 'them Baby, It's Foggy Out Tonight and I Need To See The
Centerline", excused himself and headed for the john. When he Came out
The bartender.
Went over to him and said,"Hey fly boy, the job is yours, but do you
Know your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out.
"Know it?" the old fighter pilot replied,"Hell, I wrote it!"
