I thought this was pretty funny and so true.
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I thought this was pretty funny and so true.
[ATTACH=CONFIG]124596[/ATTACH]
The Sierra Club and the USA Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue. What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again. This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the USA Forest Service. All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said;
"Son, I don't think you understand our problem here. These coyotes ain't fuckin' our sheep. They're eatin' 'them!"
The meeting never really got back to order.
You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful girl. Suddenly she faints inside.
Your car and you take her to a hospital. Now that's stressful.
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant & congratulate.
You that you are going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful,
So then. You request a DNA test to prove that you are not.
The father.
After the tests are completed, the doctor says that you are.
Infertile, and probably have been since birth. You are extremely stressed but.
Relieved.
On your way back home, you think about your 3 kids at home.
NOW THAT'S STRESS!
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as.
Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk.
Shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really.
All that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They.
Would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and.
Attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had.
Various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well, ' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear.
And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me.
Around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother.
Of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next.
Week to give him first communion and confirmation. '
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.
He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an.
IV drip
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you.
KNOW that we don't sprinkle!
I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear.
From God's HOLY WORD!
But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.
We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to.
A creek.
So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying.
In a hospital bed.
He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and.
Out of him
He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said:
"Looking back on it, . Circumcision may not have been the best way to.
Start."
Do you guys use the period in place of the "enter" key? I don't often see so many periods in a piece of writing. What's up here?
I met a girl in the park the other evening.
There was an instant spark between us.
And she immediately dropped to her knees.
And laid on the grass at my feet.
As we lay making love, I thought.
"Damn, these taser guns are well worth the money."
Don't do drugs.
[url]http://www.kdvr.com/kdvr-photos-drugs-to-mugs-20110301[/url].0, 3868756. Photogallery
[QUOTE=Gears;1152026]Do you guys use the period in place of the "enter" key? I don't often see so many periods in a piece of writing. What's up here?[/QUOTE]I thought it was just an A John thing, but seeing Gdlint do it too I am wondering if it is something the board software does automatically. My guess is they are copying and pasting from an e-mail message with hard line breaks and the board is automatically adding a period, capital letter, and double spacing.
It sure is hard to read.
[QUOTE=KC Questor; 1153226]I thought it was just an A John thing, but seeing Gdlint do it too I am wondering if it is something the board software does automatically. My guess is they are copying and pasting from an e-mail message with hard line breaks and the board is automatically adding a period, capital letter, and double spacing.
It sure is hard to read. [/QUOTE]I tend to think it is a bit of both, though a lot has to do with the software for the board. Since the upgrade there have been some really screwy things happening with the formatting.
Extra spaces where you don't want them (like when you use a dot for a decimal point rather than a period) , line breaks after inserted links in a sentence, just really screwy things that impede the reading (like the three lines below is really ONE SENTENCE).
Several folks (including yours truly) have commented on this in the.
[url=http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/showthread.php?9665-VBulletin-4.0.7-comments]VB comments[/url]
Page.
A young boy went up to his father and asked him,"Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The father thought for a moment, then answered,"Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a Million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked,"Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied,"Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked,"Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied,"Oh my gosh! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked,"Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
"Of course," the brother replied."Do you know what a million Bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him,"Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The boy replied,"Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on Three million dollars.
But 'realistically', we're just living with two hookers and a queer."
[QUOTE=KC Questor; 1153226]I thought it was just an A John thing, but seeing Gdlint do it too I am wondering if it is something the board software does automatically. My guess is they are copying and pasting from an e-mail message with hard line breaks and the board is automatically adding a period, capital letter, and double spacing.
It sure is hard to read.[/QUOTE]If I can do or not do to make my posts easier to read I will gladly change. I just don't understand? Are you talking about this? Please give example, thanks.
Gdlint
[QUOTE=Gdlint;1153380]If I can do or not do to make my posts easier to read I will gladly change. I just don't understand? Are you talking about this? Please give example, thanks.[/QUOTE]We are talking about this:
[QUOTE=Gdlint]A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as.
Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk.
Shop. [/QUOTE]That should read:
"A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop."
[QUOTE=KC Questor; 1153459]We are talking about this:
That should read:
"A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop."[/QUOTE]That's easy enough to fix. Done, No double spacing.
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane.
When another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador.
Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog.
Was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a.
'sniffing dog'.
'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work. '
The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the agent said, 'Watch.
This. ' He told Sniffer to 'search. '
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very.
Purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That.
Woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number.
And the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
'Say, that's pretty neat, ' replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned.
To.
Its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a.
Note of his seat number for the police. '
I like it! ' said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a.
Moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle.
Seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really grossed out by this behavior and couldn't.
Figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked.
The agent, 'What's going on? '
The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb. '
See, it happened again. This should read:
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'."His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."
The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the agent said, 'Watch this. ' He told Sniffer to 'search. '
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
'Say, that's pretty neat, ' replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police. '
I like it! ' said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really grossed out by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on? '
The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb. '