Jokes & Humorous Stories

[QUOTE=Baltimonger; 1122264]You would think whoever came up with that would at least know:

McDonald's does not serve chicken wings! [/QUOTE]McDonald's served "Mighty Wings" from 1990 to 2003.

[QUOTE=Shazbot1960;1121356]Brillant stuff but this is an erotic site. If you find Bob Nelson erotic you need help.[/QUOTE]This is "Jokes & Humorous Stories" . Not "Erotic Jokes and Humorous Stories".

[QUOTE=Lucky Gene;1122769]This is "Jokes & Humorous Stories" . Not "Erotic Jokes and Humorous Stories".[/QUOTE][url]Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WXSW5w_8Xg[/url]

Ok then, here is a funny clip. Lets make this America's Funniest Home Videos & ignore the webiste name. USA Sex guide. My mistake.

[QUOTE=Baltimonger; 1122264]You would think whoever came up with that would at least know:

McDonald's does not serve chicken wings![/QUOTE]Media people often mis-speak about things they pretend to be knowledgeable on.

I once saw a local, Miami news dummy hold up a Glock on camera and call it a 9mm service revolver.

[QUOTE=Lucky Gene;1122769]This is "Jokes & Humorous Stories" . Not "Erotic Jokes and Humorous Stories".[/QUOTE]Maybe so, but this is an 'erotic' site as such.

[url]http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00622/beer_goggles_622180a.swf[/url]

[QUOTE=Seva Lurker;1122989]Maybe so, but this is an 'erotic' site as such.[/QUOTE]So? Are you suggesting this thread be policed to keep out "non-erotic" jokes?

We've had enough difficulty getting political drivel removed, even though those boundaries continue to be pushed. Choose your battles.

[QUOTE=Lucky Gene; 1123114]So? Are you suggesting this thread be policed to keep out "non-erotic" jokes?

We've had enough difficulty getting political drivel removed, even though those boundaries continue to be pushed. Choose your battles. [/QUOTE]No, I am stating this is an erotic site, so 'erotic jokes', whether you like it or not, should not be a problem. Many of the jokes already posted are 'erotically' inclined.

[QUOTE=Seva Lurker;1123148]No, I am stating this is an erotic site, so 'erotic jokes', whether you like it or not, should not be a problem. Many of the jokes already posted are 'erotically' inclined.[/QUOTE]Maybe you should take a deep breath and re-read my original comment about this.

I was pointing out that this forum was not titled in such a way as to prevent NON-erotic jokes. I was simply saying that NON-erotic jokes and links to NON-erotic comedy routines should be just as welcome here as erotic jokes.

Understand now?

Sometimes there's a good reason to run from the cops.

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAH0rImQozQ[/url]

The translation at the end of this clip indicates it's an ad for an optician.

[url]http://www.redtube.com/4541[/url]

Mathematics.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100% What does it mean to give MORE than 100% Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100% We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103% What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And.

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E.
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E.
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top

Another resaon to use one.

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5mp2sU9TU4&NR=1[/url]

The wife and I were at home watching TV.

I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

She became more and more annoyed and finally said:

"For God's sake! Leave it on the porn channel!

You already know how to fish!"

The Sheer Nightgown.

A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price. The more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy) , 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself. '

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it! '