Recruiting SBs in the Wild
[QUOTE=FarFarAway;5856321]As I said, I have a SO, it isn't prudent for me to be 'out there' so much -- someone could be just exactly the person I don't want to approach.
In my view, those who are married should not take the risk of finding SBs on the hoof.[/QUOTE]I totally agree with one caveat. When I was married I would only do my SB hunting far from home. Now I do it anywhere I please. I like my GF but I can always get another one without giving my present GF half my stuff. LOL.
[QUOTE]Yourself, somehow you got identified IRL by a SB. This failure of opsec is absolutely unacceptable for the married men on SA. I hear that around 40% of men on the site are married, IDK what proportion put that on their profiles. I do.[/QUOTE]You misread my post. I was threatened to be outed to my GF and my family not by a SB (none of whom know anything personally about me), but rather by a horny housewife I was seeing on the side for free. When a woman with whom you have bumped-uglies knows your identity, you are at her mercy if you piss her off.
[QUOTE]I have been in the bowl for 4+ years, and have had 3 long term (6+ months) arrangements, and I have never been found out.[/QUOTE]I have been mongering for many years: SWs, UTRs, SBs. I used to count them but it now numbers in the hundreds. I have never had an outing problem with anyone I paid. It's the free tail who knew my name that almost bit me on the ass. If you are married, I believe that paying for it is far less risky than having some "for free" on the side. The old maxim applies that the tail you get "for free" can wind up being the most expensive tail ever. That includes being married and getting caught cheating when married.
There's Cost and Then There is COST
[QUOTE=FarFarAway;5863132]There was a long-time major poster on this board, JZLizard, and he had the same idea. There is a cost for any pussy you can wrangle. If it isn't literally in $, it will be in something else, sometimes that would be way way more expensive to you than what you could have done w / a simple transaction. [/QUOTE]I have paid hundreds of girls for a good time, but the costliest pussy I ever had was when I got married. Thankfully that is no longer the case and will never be the case again. It is one thing to have a woman angry with you, and quite another to have that same woman have a legal standing to entitle her to a share of your income and assets. Marriage is a cultural and legal tradition I should have been warned in capital letters as a teenager to avoid like the plague.
[QUOTE]I have a good friend I met on this board, he rarely posts. He is 40's, he had a 3+ year relationship w / a 20's college student, and after a year she found out all of his private life. And he was only rarely giving her $. It sounds like a dream and in some ways it was. She was a special person and he never feared her outing him. I would call their relationship an affair. However, she had life goals he wasn't prepared to undertake (he had his kids w / his wife) so they eventually parted. HE was surprised and hurt when she pretty quickly got a BF, got engaged, and recently got married, w / the idea to have her kids. I honestly can say he is suffering.
However, this guy has game, and he has a new GF who is very similar to the old arrangement.[/QUOTE]It is possible to have strong emotional feelings for a SB. (not "love" because that is just a fairy tale perpetuated by females). When you are jilted in such a relationship you are hurt. What you should quickly realize is that there are plenty of fish in the sea. There is no such thing as the one and only "soulmate" for you, whether as a GF, or married or a UTR / SB. We all have the capacity to move on. Not because we are cold, calculating male SOBs, but because there are hundreds of possible great sexual (and, yes, emotional) partners out there for us and we owe it to ourselves to belly up to the smorgasbord and sample the vast variety of sumptuous possibilities.
I have an avid interest in human evolution. Males who passed on their genes for more than 7 million years now were not wallflowers. We have an intense genetic predisposition to pork everything we can. My contention is: why fight it?