Sexual Addiction Reports

When exactly does this MYTH of "loss of control" occur? Regardless of the behavior (drinking, sex, illicit drug addiction), how exactly DOES an "involuntariness" of acquiring the DESIRED ACTIVITY OCCUR if you HAVE TO ENGAGE IN VOLUNTARY PROCESS TO DO THE ACTIVITY? I mean, you CANNOT drink, get laid, or take addicting drugs unless hands. feet, arms and legs are involved, and THOSE require VOLUNTARY MOVEMENT, AND ENGAGEMENT on the part of the user! Just because you have the DESIRE to do an activity, and you may "not know why" you have the "obsessive-compulsive desire, where the hell is it written that an ACT must follow the THOUGHT! "Addiction" is a CHOICE! Period! It's time so-called "addicts" took responsibility for their own damned actions, and realized that yes, they ARE, ACTIVE, VOLUNTARY PARTICIPANTS in the behavior that results in the problems and consequences!

[QUOTE=Civ2000]Absolutely it's natural for a man to want to get laid everyday. Is it natural for a man to go cruising for prostitutes ten minutes after he gets out of jail for patronizing a prostitute? Is it natural for a guy to pay for sex everyday, even though all his credit cards are maxed out and they are foreclosing on his home?

See you guys all make the mistake that wanting sex all the time equates to sexual addiction. It doesn't. Addiction is the continuation of a behavior despite wanting to stop and despite negative consequences. Just like drinking everyday, even drinking until one is quite drunk does not make one an alcoholic. The inability to control one's drinking and the inability to stop drinking despite the fact it's costing you employment and relationships etc., is what makes one an alcoholic.[/QUOTE]

First let me say I apologize. I wasn't sure where to post this. I'm quite aware that it's somewhere in Latin America but I thought you guys here would enjoy it also :) This is a boat show, and whoever does this guy's marketing is a genius. What a way to draw a crowd! Just think about it who buys boats? "Men" what do men like "PUSSY" we need some of these here at home ;)

Anybody want to buy a boat
AJ

[QUOTE=A John]First let me say I apologize. I wasn't sure where to post this. I'm quite aware that it's somewhere in Latin America but I thought you guys here would enjoy it also :) This is a boat show, and whoever does this guy's marketing is a genius. What a way to draw a crowd! Just think about it who buys boats? "Men" what do men like "PUSSY" we need some of these here at home ;)

Anybody want to buy a boat
AJ[/QUOTE]
Can we get a discount on the floor model? I'll take it as is!

[QUOTE=A John]Anybody want to buy a boat[/QUOTE]No. But I sure as hell have an urge to go fishing.

[QUOTE=A John]First let me say I apologize. I wasn't sure where to post this. I'm quite aware that it's somewhere in Latin America but I thought you guys here would enjoy it also :) This is a boat show, and whoever does this guy's marketing is a genius. What a way to draw a crowd! Just think about it who buys boats? "Men" what do men like "PUSSY" we need some of these here at home ;)

Anybody want to buy a boat
AJ[/QUOTE]I didn't see any boat. What boat?

I agree-EXCELLENT "marketing" ploy! I will go out and BUY that exact boat-AS LONG AS-it comes with the hotties, demonstrating their sexual enrgies WITH the boat! ;)

[QUOTE=A John]First let me say I apologize. I wasn't sure where to post this. I'm quite aware that it's somewhere in Latin America but I thought you guys here would enjoy it also :) This is a boat show, and whoever does this guy's marketing is a genius. What a way to draw a crowd! Just think about it who buys boats? "Men" what do men like "PUSSY" we need some of these here at home ;)

Anybody want to buy a boat
AJ[/QUOTE]

Too bad the women are so unappealing.

By the way, I wonder if that stunned, dulled-out, blank look which is visible on the face of nearly every single man observing, is the kind of stupid expression I put on my face when I'm watching hotties.

[QUOTE=Redneck3565]When exactly does this MYTH of..............It's time so-called "addicts" took responsibility for their own damned actions, and realized that yes, they ARE, ACTIVE, VOLUNTARY PARTICIPANTS in the behavior that results in the problems and consequences![/QUOTE]Well friend, that's what is taught in a twelve step program. It doesn't matter if it's a program for AA, SA(sex addiction), eating addiction or other compulsive disorders or addictions. Recognise you are powerless over the addiction and take responsibility for your life.

I have had some good success with my sex addiction. I have not used the services of a prostitute in quite some time. I still think about it but those thoughts don't have the same power over me they once had. I do prefer to think about it as a compulsion rather than an addiction though.

Compulsion ... addiction ... is there a difference? Do you have different definitions for the two? What's the advantage of thinking of it one way as opposed to the other way?

Seriously, I'm not asking rhetorical questions here. Maybe the semantics will help me to consider my own issues. Thanks. :)

How exactly is STOPPING a behavior ('compulsive" or "addictive") an example of being "powerless", if the behavior STOPS? If someone is "powerless" over ANY activity, there would NEVER be ANY STOPPING OVER IT! (like having control over blinking!). So, where exactly is any RESPONSIBILITY over a behavior taken if a "12-Step" program's assertion is you are "powerless to stop it", and yet DO! Makes no damned sense! Period!

[QUOTE=Wonderlust]Well friend, that's what is taught in a twelve step program. It doesn't matter if it's a program for AA, SA(sex addiction), eating addiction or other compulsive disorders or addictions. Recognise you are powerless over the addiction and take responsibility for your life.

I have had some good success with my sex addiction. I have not used the services of a prostitute in quite some time. I still think about it but those thoughts don't have the same power over me they once had. I do prefer to think about it as a compulsion rather than an addiction though.[/QUOTE]

Nothing too profound, but here are some ideas that I'm throwing out, FWIW.

A compulsion is a strong urge that one can overcome without significant outside help.

An addiction is a strong compulsion that one can usually only overcome with significant outside help.

It is very difficult to impossible to help someone who denies the problem and doesn't seek help.

At least in the short term, one can be "powerless" over the *feeling* to engage in certain acts, but at the same time, one has the power to resist the act itself, though maybe with great difficulty.

Different things work for different people. Humans are nothing if not extremely complex beings.

Good luck and best wishes to all.

D

Definition of powerless:
Take a box of exlax and willpower your way not to shit.

I personally choose not to work on my sexual behavior/enthusiasm.

If you know so much about 12 step programs then you know if you go to the barbershop often enough you will get a haircut! If you go to the hotdog stand often enough you will buy a hotdog!

If you're working on this behavior so diligently with so much success what in the hell are you doing being a member of this forum. You might even look at changing your handle from Wonderlust to rejuvenate. Looking at your profile looks like you might of slipped on some streetwalker action last Oct. Not using sexual solicitation for 4 months I wouldn't call it great success.

I got 42 yrs of a 12 step program this year. What I'm observing you might wanna try to save your own ass from obsessional, compulsive behaviors. The only persons ass you can save is your own! Carrying the message is a great thing but carrying the addict is insane.

I'm sure if your sponsor new you're a member of this forum he might suggest your in relapse mode!

I'm only talking from 42 years of experience of a 12 step program. Not saying I'm better than anyone because everyone has faults.

I'm just saying if this is a problem in your life Wonderlust than worry about your situation.

Remember when you point the finger what's pointing back at you!

Make the man in the mirror happy, joyous and free!

Just one man of many men
AJ




[QUOTE=Wonderlust]Well friend, that's what is taught in a twelve step program. It doesn't matter if it's a program for AA, SA(sex addiction), eating addiction or other compulsive disorders or addictions. Recognise you are powerless over the addiction and take responsibility for your life.

I have had some good success with my sex addiction. I have not used the services of a prostitute in quite some time. I still think about it but those thoughts don't have the same power over me they once had. I do prefer to think about it as a compulsion rather than an addiction though.[/QUOTE]

Let's take it a step BACKWARD, and reevaluate engaging in the VOLUNTARY BEHAVIOR of NOT TAKING THE FUCKING EX-LAX TO BEGIN WITH! This is what makes a so-called "addict" so fucking STUPID! What part of moving hands, feet, arms, and legs in the ACQUISITION of the desired activity (getting a hooker, drinking alcohol, or ingesting illicit drugs!) do they NOT GET? You can crave an activity (the "desire") till you fucking cry, but if you do not engage in the PHYSICAL MOVEMENT TO GET IT (or call the "provider" to your immediate residential dwelling!), you are not gonna have the activity "spontaneously" force itself upon you! And for that matter, if a person has 42 years in a "12-Step" program (which I would NOT be bragging about!), then it sounds like "responsibility" is just not a strong feature of "abstinance" is it?

[QUOTE=A John]Definition of powerless:
Take a box of exlax and willpower your way not to shit.

I personally choose not to work on my sexual behavior/enthusiasm.

If you know so much about 12 step programs then you know if you go to the barbershop often enough you will get a haircut! If you go to the hotdog stand often enough you will buy a hotdog!

If you're working on this behavior so diligently with so much success what in the hell are you doing being a member of this forum. You might even look at changing your handle from Wonderlust to rejuvenate. Looking at your profile looks like you might of slipped on some streetwalker action last Oct. Not using sexual solicitation for 4 months I wouldn't call it great success.

I got 42 yrs of a 12 step program this year. What I'm observing you might wanna try to save your own ass from obsessional, compulsive behaviors. The only persons ass you can save is your own! Carrying the message is a great thing but carrying the addict is insane.

I'm sure if your sponsor new you're a member of this forum he might suggest your in relapse mode!

I'm only talking from 42 years of experience of a 12 step program. Not saying I'm better than anyone because everyone has faults.

I'm just saying if this is a problem in your life Wonderlust than worry about your situation.

Remember when you point the finger what's pointing back at you!

Make the man in the mirror happy, joyous and free!

Just one man of many men
AJ[/QUOTE]

why am I addicted? I do not know all the reasons. Some of them are nature driven (instinct). But I like passionate loud women. I like to see them sigh, moan, pant, scream of joy ... etc while I am giving it to them. That's one of the things that keeps me coming back. Whenever I crave for a girl I would imagine myself giving it to her and she's passionately enjoying it. She enjoys and suffers but enjoys more so she asks for more.
On this note, girls are different some enjoy but do not suffer at all. Some suffer a lot and enjoy a lot. Some just suffer without joy; mostly those are the one's that are not sexually active.
Another factor is the duration, some girls cum fast and they can't cum again. Some are mutli-orgasmic ... etc.
I would be interested to see research done on these topics! Few interesting questions would be to predict these;
Can you tell if she is a passionate loud girl?
Can you tell if she'd be a multi-orgasmic?
Can you tell if she cums fast?

I am pretty sure Kinsey researched some of these issues.

[QUOTE=Orlando J]why am I addicted? I do not know all the reasons. Some of them are nature driven (instinct). But I like passionate loud women. I like to see them sigh, moan, pant, scream of joy ... etc while I am giving it to them. That's one of the things that keeps me coming back. Whenever I crave for a girl I would imagine myself giving it to her and she's passionately enjoying it. She enjoys and suffers but enjoys more so she asks for more.
On this note, girls are different some enjoy but do not suffer at all. Some suffer a lot and enjoy a lot. Some just suffer without joy; mostly those are the one's that are not sexually active.
Another factor is the duration, some girls cum fast and they can't cum again. Some are mutli-orgasmic ... etc.
I would be interested to see research done on these topics! Few interesting questions would be to predict these;
Can you tell if she is a passionate loud girl?
Can you tell if she'd be a multi-orgasmic?
Can you tell if she cums fast?[/QUOTE]