I don't get it. A Home Depot nearby has a vendor out front selling Polish Sausages. They are just not available all the time. I do get the joke, but there is an exception.
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I don't get it. A Home Depot nearby has a vendor out front selling Polish Sausages. They are just not available all the time. I do get the joke, but there is an exception.
Where are you? I hope all is well with you, I miss all the jokes!
[QUOTE=Spazen;1082271]I don't get it. A Home Depot nearby has a vendor out front selling Polish Sausages. They are just not available all the time. I do get the joke, but there is an exception.[/QUOTE]I guess the Polack was inside the store in the garden dept looking at the hoses.
I spent $5000 on a boob job for the girlfriend. She was delighted. I spent another $2000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2000 on liposuction for her and she was over the moon. And yet I spent $30 on a blow job for myself, and she goes ballistic.
$2M per week + this, in your hotel room & balls large enough to do it with a EX in the adjoining room. We are in awe.
An old man went to Las Vegas to visit a brothel to get a Blow Job because his wife refused to to that to him.
He gets to the room with the sex worker and ask "how much for a nice blow job?", $150 she replies.
The old man then goes into the bathroom and begins to masturbate.
"What the hell are you doing?" asked the sex worker.
Well, the old man replies,"for $150, you didn't think I was going to give you the easy one.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said,"Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. In fact all of his meals should be home-made and nutritious. Be pleasant at all times. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next few months, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife."What did the doctor say?" He said you're going to die," she replied.
The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman."Can I help you?" the madam asked."I want Natalie," the old man replied."Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else." "No, I must see Natalie."
Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that There were no discounts. It was still $1,000 a visit. Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and an hour later, he left.
When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man: "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?" The old man replied,"I'm from Philadelphia."
"Really?" replied Natalie."I have family who lives there."
"Yes, I know," said the old man."Your father died, and I'm your sister's attorney. She asked me to give this $3,000 to you." (Some things in life are certain: taxes, death and being screwed by an attorney)
A woman saw a toad in a trap. The toad said he would grant her three wishes if she freed him from the trap. She did and the toad offered her the first wish. The toad warned, however, that anything she wished for would also go to her husband, but he would receive it tenfold.
For her first wish she asked to be made the richest woman in the world. The toad reminded her that this would make her husband ten times richer and she said that would be okay because half of what he had would be hers anyway, whereupon the toad made them both richer.
For her second wish she asked to be made the most beautiful woman in the world. Again the road reminded her that her husband would be more handsome by ten. She said that would be okay because as the most beautiful woman in the world, he would have eyes only for her. The toad then made them beautiful and handsome with the husband more handsome by ten.
Then the toad asked about her third wish. After thinking a bit, the woman said she wanted a mild heart attack.
This doesn't end the way you think it does. Her husband had a heart attack ten times as mild as hers.
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said
Softly,"You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought,"I am either still dreaming
Or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then
Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterward she said,"Thanks," and returned to the stove,
Her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,
"What was that all about?"
She explained,"The egg timer's broken."
NOVEMBER 9-A naked South Carolina man who had a computer mouse lodged in his rectum was arrested Saturday evening after he allegedly burglarized a home and later attacked officers responding to a call about the break-in.
[url]http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/animals/mouse-found-lodged-inside-naked-arrestee[/url]
This needs to passed around to every human being who has the keys to a vehicle and the capability of driving while under the influence with impaired judgement and the possibility of causing a life changing incident to happen to everyone he or she comes in contact with while in this condition.
This is perhaps one of the most intense commercials that I've ever seen and damn well made. I hope that by passing this along to others, that it will make a difference and if just one life is saved, it will all be worth the effort to simply hit "send" and maybe save a life today or tomorrow or in the future. I think that Australia should be complemented on having the guts to "tell it like it is" and get this campaign out to all of it ' s licensed drivers and to air it on TV. It is very moving and very life like so it has a very strong impact.
<[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Z2mf8DtWWd8[/url]
[QUOTE=A John; 1091315]This needs to passed around to every human being who has the keys to a vehicle and the capability of driving while under the influence with impaired judgement and the possibility of causing a life changing incident to happen to everyone he or she comes in contact with while in this condition.
This is perhaps one of the most intense commercials that I've ever seen and damn well made. I hope that by passing this along to others, that it will make a difference and if just one life is saved, it will all be worth the effort to simply hit "send" and maybe save a life today or tomorrow or in the future. I think that Australia should be complemented on having the guts to "tell it like it is" and get this campaign out to all of it ' s licensed drivers and to air it on TV. It is very moving and very life like so it has a very strong impact.
<[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Z2mf8DtWWd8[/url][/QUOTE]How good is this ad? In the 70's and 80's in the UK it was almost a 'badge of honour' to say that you'd DUI and I'm ashamed to say I was charged in 1991 at the age of 44. Fortunately nobody was hurt, there wasn't even an accident, but God knows how!
This should be compulsory viewing at all education facilities throughout the world.
Well done for bringing this to the forum.
BD
[QUOTE=Gdlint;1086170]$2M per week + this, in your hotel room & balls large enough to do it with a EX in the adjoining room. We are in awe.[/QUOTE]Hear Hear!
Medication
For Depressed Lesbians!