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Scientists no closer to finding right answer to ‘do you think she looks pretty?’
Scientists no closer to finding right answer to ‘do you think she looks pretty?’
Despite almost a decade of research and millions of pounds of funding, scientists at Loughborough University’s Department of Nuptial Studies have admitted that they have yet to find a satisfactory answer to a question that has vexed married men for centuries: ‘do you think she looks pretty?’.
‘It’s a conundrum that can be sprung on a husband at any time,’ explained lead scientist Michael Stevens, ‘it could arise while watching the television, at the wedding of a friend or relative, or even while trying to look inconspicuous holding a handbag outside the ladies’ changing room in Monsoon. And the reaction caused by a miscalculation can be explosive. It’s no wonder so many of my colleagues prefer to closet themselves away in the less controversial areas of the Large Hadron Collider and human cloning.’
The question, known in scientific circles as Hemmingway’s Slapped Face Conundrum, was initially postulated in 1869 by Professor Theodore Hemmingway, a prominent academic subjected to a scandalous divorce case after replying ‘compared with your countenance, Madam, the Grand Old Man Gladstone is a veritable stunnah.’ Yet it would not be the subject of in-depth study until the then-married Dr Stevens initiated the Nuptial Studies programme in 2001, after a particularly trying morning at home watching the omnibus of Hollyoaks.
Thousands of volunteer couples have since undergone a series of role-play based scenarios to test the efficacy of suitable retorts, but with little success. Results have shown that ‘ooh look at those lovely geraniums’ results in, at best, a frosty silence, and is usually undermined by the male subject’s sudden onset drooling; the catty ‘not in that trouser suit, dear,’ only diverts the wife’s suspicions to other elements of the husband’s proclivities which, when combined with an admission of quite liking Bette Midler, can lead to quiet weeping and suggestions ‘it’s like uncle Kevin all over again’. Meanwhile the low-point of the entire programme followed 2006 testing of the ‘well she’s not as attractive as your sister’ rejoinder, after which the entire lab had to be evacuated.
Despite these setbacks Dr Stevens is confident that his work will continue. ‘There’s an entire universe of loaded questions we need to explore,’ he insisted, ‘this work won’t be completed until man can be secure in answering the other big questions like ‘does this make me look fat?’, ‘if I died would you re-marry?’ and ‘have you been wearing my underwear again?’.
Chocolate covered condoms!
usually i like my bj's sans condoms, but chocolate covered condoms, well i guess i can see how it works for her!
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEOzZ1GkGO8[/url]
Why I Don't Attend High School Reunions....
Jan, Sue and Lois haven't seen each other since High School.
They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.
Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine. Then Lois walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.
Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southamptonon Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida.
Lois explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Gene. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Gene can stand five parrots, side by side, on his dick.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.
Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.
Lois says that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
T.G.I.F. T-Shirt...On a BLOND!
A blonde goes out with some friends on a Monday night wearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt.
A guy looking to start a conversation with the blond asks, why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?'
With s look of embarrassment, the blond says, I did not realize it was a religious t-shirt. I thought it meant - 'Tits Go In Front.''
Coach who inspired Lynyrd Skynyrd band name dies
[url]http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2010/09/lynyrd-skynyrd-coach-dies/1[/url]
You'll wonder how he captured this video
[url]http://www.flixxy.com/bear-animal-nature-film.htm[/url]
