Jokes & Humorous Stories

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:

Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

Click on the link below!

If anyone figures out how she does it.let me know!

[url]http://www.regiftable.com/RegiftingRobinPopUp.html[/url]

[QUOTE=Lurker X]Click on the link below!

If anyone figures out how she does it.let me know!

[url]http://www.regiftable.com/RegiftingRobinPopUp.html[/url][/QUOTE]

Is she supposed to guess the 1st number or the 2nd (after the math)? In either case, I tried it 5 times, and she got it wrong all 5 times. She should let you tell her if she got it right or wrong. Typical Woman! always assuming they're right!

[QUOTE=Lurker X]Click on the link below!

If anyone figures out how she does it. Let me know!

[url]http://www.Regiftable.com/RegiftingRobinPopUp.html[/url][/QUOTE]Each time the grid comes up, the items are re-ordered. But it's always the same item in the only possible selections.

For example, if you choose 44, the regift is in box 36. If you choose 45, the regift is in box 36 as well. In fact, all numbers in the 40's result in box 36.

All numbers in the 30's result in box in box 27. All numbers in the 20's result in box 18. So, the only possible regift boxes are:

9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63, 72, 81

And, the same regift is in each of those nine boxes. It's a different regift each time you play the game, making you think that she's just guessing right each time.

[QUOTE=Cocknballs]Is she supposed to guess the 1st number or the 2nd (after the math)? In either case, I tried it 5 times, and she got it wrong all 5 times. She should let you tell her if she got it right or wrong. Typical Woman! always assuming they're right![/QUOTE]

I call BS.

If she got it wrong then you failed to follow instructions. See Lucky Gene's explaination below.

SHE IS NOT GUESSING A NUMBER, she is guessing the gift specified in the box that answers the equation that YOU generate from your number.

Since all of the numbers in a particular series end up with 1 answer

10 (10-1-0=9)
11 (11-1-1=9)
12 (12-1-2=9)
13 (13-1-3=9)
14 (14-1-4=9)
....19 (19-1-9=9)

It is impossible for her to get it WRONG, since as Lucky Gene explained
9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63, 72, 81 always have the same gift.

She didnt tell you to pick a random box on that page she said for you to pick a box that had the answer to the equation.

[QUOTE=Brahmabull]She didn't tell you to pick a random box on that page she said for you to pick a box that had the answer to the equation.[/QUOTE]I've seen a similar website (I may have found it through here, don't remember), where you're shown six face-cards and asked to mentally pick one. Then you click and the next screen shows five face-cards, and yours is missing. Of course, the website guesses your selection right every time and magically removes it.

The trick is that the five face-cards shown on the second screen are different that any of the first six on the previous screen. But you're only looking for the absence of the card you chose, so it appears to work as if by magic.

[QUOTE=Brahmabull]I call BS.[/QUOTE]

Yep, I F'ed it up. LOL! That's what I get for posting at midnight!

[QUOTE=Cocknballs]Yep, I F'ed it up. LOL! That's what I get for posting at midnight![/QUOTE]You mean DRUNK at midnight <just kidding>

Here's an obligatory joke:

There are these two friends, Jim and Greg. One evening, they're in a bar arguing over which of them can have sex the most times in one night. They decide to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse and gathering experimental evidence, as it were.

So they get to the whorehouse, pair off with a couple of the ladies, and go to their respective rooms. Greg energetically balls his ***** and, reaching up with a pencil, makes a "| " mark on the wall. Then he falls asleep.

He wakes up in a couple of hours and screws the ***** again, albeit a little less enthusiastically this time. Again, he reaches back and marks a " | " on the wall. Again, he falls asleep.

He wakes up again in a couple of hours and lethargically humps the hooker again. He drowsily marks another " | " on the wall and falls asleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Jim barges into Greg's room to see how he did. He takes one look at the wall and exclaims, "A hundred and eleven?! You beat me by three!"

Movies that could have been improved with Mel Gibson as a script doctor.

[QUOTE=Gdlint]Movies that could have been improved with Mel Gibson as a script doctor.[/QUOTE]Oops- This link was supposed to be included with the Mel Gibson joke:[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSIR8ekKx_w&feature=player_embedded[/url]

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a Dog Turd by the clean end. "

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrh9wnqdbTY&feature=player_embedded[/url]

A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation --- no one wanted him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city, stands up and proclaims, ... 'If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!'
More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Preacher stays, ... I will give him sex!'

There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her,

'Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?'
Sadie's 90-year-old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies,

'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said,... 'Fuck him!'

Isn't senility wonderful?

An elephant asked a camel, "Why are your breasts on your back?'

'Well,' said the camel, 'I think that's quite an inappropriate question from someone whose dick is on his face.'

Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says,

"Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend
it, even using both hands.
By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees, if I
tried really hard.
By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about forty five
degrees, no problem.
I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with
just one hand."

"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"

"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get