Fishing recreationally, right!
[QUOTE=JoesParty; 1508647]I met candidate #1 at a sushi place not far from her upper class suburban home. She is a total party girl, already having done time (10 days) and on probation for alcohol-related infractions. Hence, the lack of a driver's license. 90% of her stories about herself-and she does love to talk about herself-revolve around drinking, casual drug use, partying, or some combination of the three. She attends a private East-coast university and is just looking for someone to support her so she can quit her summertime fast food job. Mommy and Daddy are both lawyers but divorced, and daddy has essentially thrown her out of his house because of her criminal infractions.
The evening went ok, but in all honesty, all I really did was listen to blah-blah-probation-blah-blah-cocaine-blah-blah-drinking etc. While trying not to be too obvious about staring at her tits. She was appreciative that I sprang for dinner and gave her a ride home (saving her cab fare) , though I haven't heard more from her, despite the obligatory post-date "I had a good time, let's do this again" text exchange.
Candidate #2 is a bit of a wildcard. Tall, awesome body, with pink hair, two lower lip piercings, and "really into anime," whatever the Hell that means. But she is shy. I mean almost painfully shy. She barely looked me in the eye when I first met her. I finally got her to open up a bit when I suggested sushi for lunch, because apparently a love of all things Japanese goes hand in hand with the anime fetish. She has a quiet, almost "little girl" type of voice, and it took quite a bit of coaxing to even get a smile. But then we were off to the races. I think she had a good time, and I wished we could have talked longer, but I had to get to the office.
Here's the thing: She said she has another SD. Turns out all her other SD does is take her to a hotel, so she was surprised that I wanted to even go out. I said I was happy to do so, while at the same time I was silently thanking my lucky stars that she's ok with hotel dates, because that means she knows why we're both in this game. At least I hope it means she knows. We'll see, I guess. Part of me wonders if it's all just an act.
I guess you could say I'm cautiously intrigued by the anime chick with the pink hair. Opposites attract, I suppose.
Regards,
Joe[/QUOTE]My brother,
I think you have a classic Nando 1 on your hands with baby #1, despite the fact that you say she is from upper middle class stock. Ask yourself, how many people that you associate with on a regular basis have [I]done time[/I] for dui? That is some serious shit, and I for one would be paranoid about the devious and clever abilities of such a baby to suss out my true identity. Run, don't walk, my friend, and just keep the memory of her tits exactly where it is now. All is see is trouble, in all caps!
As for baby #2, my advice would be full speed ahead. I personally love the shy artistic types, because I feel they are completely the authentic deal. Be careful about pushing too hard on this one, but definitely do not second guess her shyness for anything more than that, shyness. You could potentially have a great thing on your hands, and the fact that she might already be comfortable with the Bowl can only work in your favor. I have been busy on my end stretching out my Sugar Muscles and reaquainting myself with the ups and downs of the pursuit, and one of the many things I am re-learning is that there are a ton of douche bags out there, and if we can be respectful, polite, gentle, somewhat humorous and not try to push on a string, unlimited rewards can be ours.
On another note, I am forcing myself to abide by my 48 hour gag rule, but believe me, my friends, I have tales to tell! If I may offer another acronym, there are no POTF (panites on the floor) just yet, but I am more than optimistic that my score will rise in the next few weeks.
As always, keep in touch,
Scott
I'm going to have to disagree
[QUOTE=John G Smith;1509876]So at the beginning, I think it's fair for us SDs to have more info on the SB.[/QUOTE]Sorry, but if you want my full name and information then I want yours. While yes, an SD has a lot to loose, my safety is of the utmost importance and I will NOT jeopardize it. To prove someone is stalking you is not an easy thing. And that says a fake SD with very bad intentions is going to be placated at just stalking a girl and that she'll actually have a chance to contact the police instead of being raped, or worse...
While yes, there needs to be trust between an SD and SB I think it's perfectly fine for it to be gained simultaneously. As you build trust between each other, you can reveal more. Sorry, but I think requiring information you're not willing to divulge yourself just makes you a bit of a hypocrite. The fact is that we both are at extreme risk and neither is greater than the other.
BTW, This is a sensitive issue because a while back I learned that I had significant conversations with a Pot SD who turned out to be one of those fake guys with very bad intentions. For me, after a while something in my gut just wasn't right (part of that was because I couldn't verify anything he told me). He later popped up on a watch list with some significantly bad stories. I was lucky, others weren't.
And Dr, I don't think a girls inability to be smart and lock down her profile on FB means she can't be discrete. I'd question her intelligence level, but not her discretion.
Mandy
Higher Risk even in "normal" arrangements.
[QUOTE=SbabyBlog; 1510154]Sorry, but if you want my full name and information then I want yours. While yes, an SD has a lot to loose, my safety is of the utmost importance and I will NOT jeopardize it. To prove someone is stalking you is not an easy thing. And that says a fake SD with very bad intentions is going to be placated at just stalking a girl and that she'll actually have a chance to contact the police instead of being raped, or worse.
While yes, there needs to be trust between an SD and SB I think it's perfectly fine for it to be gained simultaneously. As you build trust between each other, you can reveal more. Sorry, but I think requiring information you're not willing to divulge yourself just makes you a bit of a hypocrite. The fact is that we both are at extreme risk and neither is greater than the other.
Mandy[/QUOTE]You raise some fair points.
Both parties have to worry about those 2-5% who are psychos. I guess my point is that beyond the respective "psycho" demographics, a SD is more at risk even with a "normal" SB. In a moment of anger or desperation even a "normal" SB could cause major havoc to a SD by calling or showing up at his place or business. One phone call to a SD's house and a SB could destroy them. Whereas I couldn't cause that amount of personal destruction to my SB even if I knew all her personal information. Could I cause her some embarrassment? Sure, but nothing on the level of a divorce, losing half the assets, losing custody of kids, and being shunned by family and friends.
So I agree during the initial vetting phase, a SB has to be very careful for safety reasons and make sure the pot isn't a psycho. But once it's clear both parties aren't in the psycho demographic, the risk swings heavily back onto the SD, IMO. It's why it's imperative for the SD to always try to end the arrangement on good terms. Even a "normal" SB who leaves the arrangement angry or desperate is a major liability. So by knowing some of her personal information, it might allow us to head off a bad situation before it gets worse.
Age and cultural differences
[QUOTE=Hernando;1512252]Edit Delete The take home message that I have for you guys (and girl) is nothing that many of you haven't already espoused and followed, but sensitive emotional types like me and several others (Scotty, Golf) want to have a love relationship and watch out what you wish for. Edit Delete[/QUOTE]Scott and I see eye to eye on a lot of things but not on this one. Scott is certainly in Nando's camp, or the camp Nando was in before being disappointed recently, and Scott may still be there, although that is not totally clear at this point, we may hear more from Scott about this, but I've written extensively from the start that emotional attachment in the context of pay for play is ill advised. I've also written extensively that a pay for play relationship is doomed and has no chance where there is a father / daughter or father / grandaughter age difference. I used the illustration that when she has to look forward 30 or 40 years to see us she sees what we would see were we to look at a woman 30 or 40 years our senior. I don't think I have posted this but we also need to stay on the same side of the railroad tracks when it comes to cultural differences. There are bounaries money cannot cross. It's all about Mother Nature.
Overnighters and Secret Phones
Hi Hernando, I feel you for and your situation. I'm a bit younger than some of you guys, so it's making me think if I should push for a divorce sooner than later as painful as it might be. Right now, I'm just 7-12 years older than most of the SBs I meet. So if I got E-involved, it would be possible to have a real long-term serious relationship with a PYT because the age and cultural gap isn't insurmountable. In certain other countries, women actually seek out much older men for their financial stability and wisdom. But here in America, a 10-15 year age gap is basically the absolute max many women will accept for a legit long-term relationship. Again the more money you have, the more lavish your lifestyle, the more you'll be able to push the age gap, but it ends up becoming socially awkward in our society.
Anyway I hope you pull through Hernando. But I got a question for you, how did you manage two overnights per week with your SB without immediately raising flags with your SO? Were you sneaking out and coming back before your SO knew you were gone? The reason I ask is that I sometimes go out at night as well but I'm usually never gone for more than a couple of hours. Also I already established a routine of taking night-time drives to clear my mind (I enjoy driving on southern California freeways when they are completely empty).
But since I work at home, it's really hard for me to be gone for more than a couple of hours without it being noticed. So I'm always looking for ways to extend my "free-time", though I like to always have an alibi, so if I do get the dreaded "where are you?" I can explain it easily and get back to the house within a reasonable time.
Also ditch the secret phone and get Google Voice. You can forward your GV calls / txt to your regular phone, but the calls don't show up as regular numbers on your bill. You can also easily stop forwarding calls / txt to your phone, so you can control when you're available for contact. But my favorite feature is being able to txt through the GV website. I can literally txt with my SB for hours, but it just looks like I'm making a forum post or something. Way better than having my SO see me txting on the phone or having to sneak into the bathroom all the time. And finally, you can easily block numbers / contacts. If you have a Nando1 harassing you, you can just block them without having to get a totally new number. GV is heaven sent for SDs. That said, it does take a little time to get a full handle of the GV phone app and settings. You do need to be careful because if you're careless you could accidentally call your SO with your GV number. That's pretty much the only way you'll get caught because there isn't a physical GV phone for your SO to find. And at the first hint of trouble, you can just erase your entire GV info with their webtool.
