SCHWEATY BALLS.................
[url]http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=video&file=SCHWEATY_BALLS.wmv[/url]
Printable View
SCHWEATY BALLS.................
[url]http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=video&file=SCHWEATY_BALLS.wmv[/url]
A man goes to San Francisco on business. When he arrives, he decides to stop into a local bar for a beer. Once there, he begins chatting up an attractive woman who he soon realizes is a working girl.
He asks the working girl how much it would be for a hand job?
“$500,” she says.
“$500!” says the man.
“Yes, do you like this bar?” she asks. “I bought this bar with all the money I received from my hand jobs. I’m that good at it.”
So, the two go into the back room and she proceeds to give him the best hand job of his life.
In two weeks, the businessman goes back to San Francisco to the same bar. This time he asks for a blow job.
“$2000,” she says.
“$2000! You’ve got to be kidding!” says the man.
“Let me show you something,” she says as she leads him out the front door. “See all the buildings on this block? I own them all. I got them from giving the best BJ’s in San Francisco.”
So, the two go upstairs and she proceeds to give him the best head he’s ever had.
In two weeks, he’s back again and this time he wants to get laid.
“Let me show you something,” says the woman. He takes the man upstairs on the balcony overlooking the city of San Francisco.
She then says: “See this beautiful city. I would own all of it if I only had a Pussy.”
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess.... 'Will you marry me?'
The Princess said, ‘NO!!!'
The Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The End
[QUOTE=A John]Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess.... 'Will you marry me?'
The Princess said, ‘NO!!!'
The Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The End[/QUOTE]I bet he also got to watch what he wanted to watch on TV and had the kind of car he wanted wanted to drive, also.
It's a slow day in a little East Texas town. The sun is beating down, and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich tourist from back east is driving through town. He stops at the motel and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on t he counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the $100 bill, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, gentlemen, is how the United States Government is conducting business today.
Except that the government gets sales and income tax every time money changes hands
[QUOTE=Gdlint]It's a slow day in a little East Texas town. The sun is beating down, and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich tourist from back east is driving through town. He stops at the motel and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on t he counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the $100 bill, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, gentlemen, is how the United States Government is conducting business today.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Theguy]Except that the government gets sales and income tax every time money changes hands[/QUOTE]
Not from the prostitute! (except in certain counties in Nevada...)
[QUOTE=A John]SCHWEATY BALLS.
[url]http://www.Yourfilehost.com/media.php? Cat=video&file=SCHWEATY_BALLS. Wmv[/url][/QUOTE]Just FYI. I clicked on this my computor immediately got a virus and it took me about 5 hours today dealing with it to get rid of it.
Two Woodpeckers.
An American woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in America arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The American woodpecker claimed America had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The American woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the American woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers). The American woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
The two of them flew to Canada where the American woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the American tree, and the American woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?
After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:
Apparently, Tiger Woods was right, when he said, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.
This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award. One day in the 3rd year, he comes home looking all depressed.
His wife asks him what the matter is, to which he responds that he got fired.
"FIRED?!? How can you get fired, you're always employee of the year!!" she asked, stunned.
To this he responds that he had another fantasy that he needed to fulfill and it got him fired...
"Oh no, not again...What did you do this time?" she asks.
Well, I always fantasized about sticking my willy in the pickle slicer.
"You didn't!" she hoped.
He blushed and replied, "Well, yes I did."
Then she asks, "Did it hurt?"
"No no really," answers the man.
Puzzled she then asks, "Well what happened to the pickle slicer??"
He answers, "Oh, *she* got fired too!"
A guy walks into a pharmacy.
He says to the pharmacist, "I've heard a lot about that viagra stuff. Does it really work."
The pharmacist says, "Yeah, it works great."
The guy asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"
Pharmacist says, "Well, if you took enough I suppose you could."
[QUOTE=Agent61]Are you using Windows XP, Bigdog99.?
If so a wise maneuver would be to back your computer up weekly by setting a new restore point each week.
Do you know what I'm talking about.?, here, let me explain.
1- First run all your anti-virus/anti-spy ware soft ware and make sure your computer id virus and spyware free.
2- Then Empty your Temp. Files in your internet options, and empty your recycle bind by right clicking on it and choose "Empty"
3- Then make sure all your settings are to your liking, set the clock to the right time and date.
4- Go to control panel and open "System", click on the system restore tab, then check the box for "turn off restore for all drives", this will erase all the previous back up info and create ample space there.
5- Then uncheck the box and wait till (C) drive is being monitored again, close the system and control panel boxes.
6- Now, click your START menu button and choose "all programs", then accessories, then system tools, then system restore, short cut it to your desk top for convenience.
7- Set a restore point for Windows, I call my restore points "FIX-IT", so I can go back and see it easily.
8- You can re-name your desk top short cut to system restore with the date that the restore point was set, today's date. So you know where to go the next time you want to restore.
9- Repeat this weekly, restoring to the previous week's point, then updating your Explorer, java or any other programs that automatically update.
10- Then create a new restore point and rename the short cut to system restore with that day's date. And so on, then when ever you encounter a virus, you just immediately close all windows, open System Restore and over write the virus by restoring your computer to the last restore point you made.
And Voila, all better in under a minute,,,,,,,,,, got it?[/QUOTE]I got it now! I have XP. After messing around with it for hours the other day. It was actually a good learning experience. The Virus was a. Exe file and I could not delete when my virus scanner found it. I knew exactly where it was, but it would not budge. I had to boot up in Safe Mode (by holding F8 when it fired up) then I was able to delete (a good trick to remember in the future!). But after I deleted my settings were messed up and was not able to connect to the internet, so I did a system restore to 12/31 (the first one that was available) and it finally worked! I have a program called Windows cleanup and I ran that too along with 3 other anti-virus-spam-malware programs. So I think I am all set and Virus free! Thanks for your help and I am a fan of your work! Stay safe out there.
Bigdog
This is just something humorous I've noticed lately. On forums here we discuss escorts, hookers and the like, and the sometimes graphic descriptions of encounters we've had with them. Why do some people on here spell ass, pussy, dick, fuck, shit, and other 'obscene' words as @ss, pvssy, d!ck, fvck, sh!t like there's some filter that would block them otherwise ? There are only three words which are banned on this website and they're listed in the forum rules, and they're words which Jackson views as generally being used to denigrate women. Words like pussy and fuck are almost as common here as and, but & or, lol.
[QUOTE=Clark Kent]This is just something humorous I've noticed lately. On forums here we discuss escorts, hookers and the like, and the sometimes graphic descriptions of encounters we've had with them. Why do some people on here spell ass, pussy, dick, fuck, shit, and other 'obscene' words as @ss, pvssy, d!ck, fvck, sh!t like there's some filter that would block them otherwise ? There are only three words which are banned on this website and they're listed in the forum rules, and they're words which Jackson views as generally being used to denigrate women. Words like pussy and fuck are almost as common here as and, but & or, lol.[/QUOTE]
There are actually 4:
B*tch
C*nt
Wh*re
and not listed: Sl*t
A women is at the bar, drinking and depressed. A man walks in a sits next to her. He too, is drinking an depressed. After awhile, the man asks the women "What are you so depressed about ??"
She Says, "My husband left me because he thought I was too kinky".
He replies "Really ?" My wife left me because she thought I was too kinky!"
They order another round of drinks, and she says to him, "Hey listen, we're both adults here, and it looks like we may have something in common....how about we finish these drinks and go back to my place and we'll see what happens?"
He says "Sounds like a great idea !!", so they finish thier drinks and leave.
When they get to her place, she says to him "Wait right here I'm gonna go jump into something more comfortable". She goes into the other room and puts on some black leather boots with 6 inch heels, a leather mini-skirt, a rubber bra with the nipples cut out, a dog collar and a leather hood. She then grabs a whip and some handcuffs and seductively enters the other room where she sees the guy putting on his coat and heading out the door.
"Where are you going ?" she asks. "I thought we were going to get kinky ?"
"Hey", he says", "I fucked your dog, I shit in your purse.....I'm outta here !!"